From a1a7efcbf3a1eb342735ea59bd090ba3a5d7fec0 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: mfaltys Date: Thu, 8 Jan 2026 10:54:29 -0600 Subject: [PATCH] Add loresearch functionality Update fortune DB --- data.sh | 61 + data.txt | 748 +++ data_mass_insert.txt | 1494 +++++ deps/fortune/fortunes | 10849 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++-- deps/fortune/fortunes.bak | 916 +++ deps/run | 5 + go.mod | 1 + go.sum | 2 + lorebot/lorebot.go | 30 + 9 files changed, 13624 insertions(+), 482 deletions(-) create mode 100755 data.sh create mode 100644 data.txt create mode 100644 data_mass_insert.txt create mode 100644 deps/fortune/fortunes.bak create mode 100755 deps/run diff --git a/data.sh b/data.sh new file mode 100755 index 0000000..a9ee520 --- /dev/null +++ b/data.sh @@ -0,0 +1,61 @@ +#!/bin/bash + +# to bulk insert, run the following command: +# cat data_mass_insert.txt | redis-cli --pipe + +### Name,RN,Rarity,Sub-Rarity,Gold Price,Item Type,Item Subtype,Attunement,Cursed +### +### redis sets: +### index:dnd:common +### index:dnd:uncommon +### index:dnd:rare +### index:dnd:very_rare +### index:dnd:legendary +### +### redis hash +### dnd:abracadabrus name Abracadabrus rarity Very Rare price 80000 type wondrous item +### dnd:anstruthharp name Anstruth Harp rarity Very Rare price 120000 type wondrous item +### +### .shop will pick between 4-8 commons, uncommons etc. with a chance to roll up to the next qual + + +# read through data +#Abracadabrus,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,,, + +while IFS="," read -r name rarity_num item_rarity rec_column4 price type rec_column7 rec_column8 rec_column9 +do + #format name string + formatted=$(echo "$name" | sed 's/[^[:alnum:]]//g') + formatted=${formatted,,} + + ### echo "Item: $name" + ### echo "Rare #: $rarity_num" + ### echo "Rarity: $item_rarity" + ### echo "Price: $price" + ### echo "Type: $type" + ### echo "-----" + + echo "hset dnd:$formatted name '$name' rarity '$item_rarity' price '$price' type '$type'" + case $rarity_num in + 1) + echo "SADD index:dnd:common dnd:$formatted" + ;; + 2) + echo "SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:$formatted" + ;; + 3) + echo "SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:$formatted" + ;; + 4) + echo "SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:$formatted" + ;; + 5) + echo "SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted" + ;; + *) + echo "TRASH: $name" + ;; + esac + + #echo "" +done < <(tail -n +2 data.txt) diff --git a/data.txt b/data.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6a08005 --- /dev/null +++ b/data.txt @@ -0,0 +1,748 @@ +Abracadabrus,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,,, +Acheron Blade,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,sword,required, +Adamantine armor,2,Uncommon,B,800,armor,"medium, heavy (not hide)",, +Akmon Hammer of Purphoros,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,warhammer,required, +Alchemical Compendium,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Alchemy jug,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +All Purpose Tool +1,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,tools,artificer, +All Purpose Tool +2,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,tools,artificer, +All Purpose Tool +3,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tools,artificer, +Ammunition +1,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,ammunition,any,, +Ammunition +2,3,Rare,Bu,2750,ammunition,any,, +Ammunition +3,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,ammunition,any,, +Amulet of Health,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Amulet of Proof Against Detection and Location,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Amulet of Protection from Turning,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Amulet of the Black Skull,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Amulet of the Devout +1,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,neckwear,cleric or paladin, +Amulet of the Devout +2,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,neckwear,cleric or paladin, +Amulet of the Devout +3,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,neckwear,cleric or paladin, +Amulet of the Drunkard,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,neckwear,, +Amulet of the planes,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Animated shield,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Anstruth Harp,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,two handed,bard, +Apparatus of Kwalish,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,,, +Arcane Cannon,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,, +Arcane Grimoire +1,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Arcane Grimoire +2,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Arcane Grimoire +3,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Arcane Propulsion Arm,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,armwear,creature missing a hand or an arm, +Arcanomechanical Armor,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,studded leather,Invention Wizard, +Armblade,1,Common,B,200,weapon,one handed melee,Warforged, +Armor +1,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,"light, medium, heavy",, +Armor +2,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,"light, medium, heavy",, +Armor +3,5,Legendary,B,400000,armor,"light, medium, heavy",, +Armor of Gleaming,1,Common,A,100,armor,"medium, heavy",, +Armor of invulnerability,5,Legendary,B,400000,armor,plate,required, +Armor of resistance,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,"light, medium, heavy",required, +Armor of vulnerability,3,Rare,Au,2000,armor,plate,required,has vulnerability to two damage types +Arrow of slaying,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,ammunition,arrow,, +Arrow-catching shield,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,shield,, +Astral Shard,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,sorcerer, +Astromancy Archive,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Atlas of Endless Horizons,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Badge of the Watch,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,designated by the open lord of waterdeep, +Bag of beans,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Bag of Bounty,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Bag of devouring,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,,,Technically no but bad item +Bag of Holding,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,,, +Bag of Tricks,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,, +Balance of Harmony,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Balloon Pack,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,backpack,, +Band of Loyalty,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,fingerwear,required, +Banner of the Krig Rune,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,required, +Battering Shield,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,shield,required, +Battle Standard of Infernal Power,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Bead of force,3,Rare,Bu,2750,wondrous item,consumable,, +Bead of Nourishment,1,Common,Au,25,wondrous item,consumable,, +Bead of Refreshment,1,Common,Au,25,wondrous item,consumable,, +Belashyrras Beholder Crown,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,headwear,required,Cant be voluntarily detached +Bell Branch,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,druid or warlock, +Belt of dwarvenkind,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,belt,for growing a beard, +Belt of giant strength (cloud giant),5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,belt,required, +Belt of giant strength (fire giant),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,belt,required, +Belt of giant strength (frost or stone giant),4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,belt,required, +Belt of giant strength (hill giant),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,belt,required, +Belt of giant strength (storm giant),5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,belt,required, +Berserker axe,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any axe,required,chance of going berserk on taking damage +Berserker axe (Tamoachan),4,Very Rare,C,120000,weapon,battleaxe,required,chance of going berserk on taking damage +Black Crystal Tablet,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,,proficiency with arcana skill, +Black Dragon Mask,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,facewear,required, +Blade of the Medusa,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,weapon,sword,required,could effect user +Blast Scepter,4,Very Rare,C,120000,rod,scepter,required, +Blod Stone,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Blood of the Lycanthrope Antidote,2,Uncommon,Cu,250,Potion,,, +Blood Spear,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,spear,required, +Bloodaxe,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,greataxe,required, +Bloodwell Vial +1,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,sorcerer, +Bloodwell Vial +2,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,sorcerer, +Bloodwell Vial +3,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,sorcerer, +Blue Dragon Mask ,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,facewear,required, +Bonecounter,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,mace,, +Bookmark,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,dagger,required, +Boomerang +1,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,boomerang,, +Boomerang +2,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,boomerang,, +Boomerang +3,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,boomerang,, +Boots of Elvenkind,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,footwear,, +Boots of False Tracks,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,footwear,, +Boots of levitation,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,footwear,required, +Boots of speed,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,footwear,required, +Boots of Striding and Springing,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,footwear,required, +Boots of the Winding Path ,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,footwear,required, +Boots of the Winterlands,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,footwear,required, +Bottled Breath,2,Uncommon,Au,150,potion,,, +Bowl of commanding water elementals,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Bracelet of Rock Magic,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,armwear,required,could effect user +Bracer of Flying Daggers,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,armwear,required, +Bracers of Archery,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,armwear x2,required, +Bracers of defense,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,armwear x2,required, +Brazier of commanding fire elementals,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Breathing Bubble,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,headwear,, +Bridle of Capturing,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Brooch of Living Essence,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Brooch of Shielding,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Broom of Flying,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,, +Butchers Bib,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,required, +Canaith Mandolin,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,two handed,bard, +Candle of invocation,4,Very Rare,Cu,30000,wondrous item,consumable,required, +Candle of the Deep,1,Common,Au,25,wondrous item,"one handed, consumable",, +Cap of Water Breathing,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,headwear,, +Cape of the Mountebank,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,cloak,, +Carpet of flying,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,, +Cartographers Map Case,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Cast-Off Armor,1,Common,A,100,armor,"light, medium, heavy",, +Cauldron of Plenty,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,, +Cauldron of Rebirth,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,druid or warlock, +Censer of controlling air elementals,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Charlatans Die,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,required, +Charm of Plant Command,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Chest of Preserving,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,,, +Chime of opening,3,Rare,Bu,2750,wondrous item,,, +Chronolometer,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required, +Circlet of Blasting,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,headwear,, +Circlet of Human Perfection,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,headwear,humanoid, +Claw of the Wyrm Rune,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,required, +Claws of the Umber Hulk,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,two handed,required, +Cleansing Stone,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Cli Lyre,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,two handed,bard, +Cloak of arachnida,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Cloak of Billowing,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Cloak of displacement,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Cloak of Elvenkind,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Cloak of invisibility,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Cloak of Many Fashions,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,cloak,, +Cloak of protection,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Cloak of the bat,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Cloak of the manta ray,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,cloak,, +Clockwork Amulet,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,neckwear,, +Clothes of Mending,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,clothes,, +Coin of Decisionry (Rank 2),1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Coin of Decisionry (Rank 3),2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Coin of Delving,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Conch of Teleportation,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,,required, +Corpse Slayer,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,,required, +Crystal ball,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,,required, +Crystal ball (various),5,Legendary,A,300000,wondrous item,,required, +Crystalline Chronicle,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,wizard, +Cube of force,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,required, +Cubic gate,5,Legendary,A,300000,wondrous item,,, +Cursed Luckstone,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,,next two checks at disadvantage +Daern’s instant fortress,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Dagger of Blindsight,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,dagger,required, +Dagger of venom,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,dagger,, +Dancing sword,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,any sword,required, +Dark Shard Amulet,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,neckwear,warlock, +Decanter of endless water,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Deck of illusions,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,consumable,, +Deck of many things,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,consumable,, +Deck of Several Things,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,consumable,, +Defender,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,any sword,required, +Dekella Bident of Thassa,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,trident,required,cursed +Demon armor,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,armor,plate,required,cursed +Devastation Orb,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Devotees Censer,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,flail,cleric or paladin, +Dimensional Loop,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,, +Dimensional Seal,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Dimensional shackles,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Dispelling Stone,4,Very Rare,Au,20000,wondrous item,,, +Docent,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,warforged, +Documancy Satchel (Rank 2),1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Documancy Satchel (Rank 3),2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Documancy Satchel (Rank 4),3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,, +Dodecahedron of Doom,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Doss Lute,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,two handed,bard, +Dragon scale mail,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,scale mail,required, +Dragon slayer,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any sword,, +Dragonguard,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,breastplate,, +Dragonstaff of Ahghairon,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,staff,, +Dragontooth Dagger,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Dread Helm,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,headwear,, +Driftglobe,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Drown,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,trident,required, +Duplicitous Manuscript,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Duskcrusher,4,Very Rare,C,120000,weapon,warhammer,required, +Dust of Deliciousness,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,wondrous item,consumable,, +Dust of disappearance,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,wondrous item,consumable,, +Dust of dryness,2,Uncommon,Au,150,wondrous item,consumable,, +Dust of sneezing and choking,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,wondrous item,consumable,, +Dwarven plate,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,plate,, +Dwarven thrower,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,warhammer,dwarf, +Dyrrns Tentacle Whip,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,whip,required,Cant be voluntarily detached +Eagle Whistle,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Ear Horn of Hearing,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,one handed,, +Earworm,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,Earwear,required,Cant be voluntarily detached +Efreeti bottle,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,, +Efreeti chain,5,Legendary,B,400000,armor,chain mail,required, +Elder Cartographer’s Glossography,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Elemental Essence Shard,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,sorcerer, +Elemental gem,2,Uncommon,Cu,250,wondrous item,consumable,, +Elixir of health,3,Rare,Bu,2750,potion,,, +Elven chain,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,chain shirt,, +Enduring Spellbook,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Ephixis Bow of Nylea,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,shortbow,required, +Ersatz Eye,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,eye,required, +Everbright Lantern,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Eversmoking bottle,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Eyes of charming,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,eyewear,required, +Eyes of minute seeing,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,eyewear,, +Eyes of the eagle,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,eyewear,required, +Failed Experiment Wand,3,Rare,B,11000,wand,one handed,spellcaster,Not cursed but wierd and broken +Fane-Eater,5,Legendary,B,400000,Weapon,Battleaxe,evil cleric or paladin, +Far Gear,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required, +Far Realm Shard,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,sorcerer, +Feather Fall Token,1,Common,Au,25,wondrous item,,, +Feather of Diatryma Summoning,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,required, +Feather Token,3,Rare,Cu,3500,wondrous item,,, +Feywild Shard,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,sorcerer, +Figurine of wondrous power (bronze griffon),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Figurine of wondrous power (ebony fly),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Figurine of wondrous power (golden lions),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Figurine of wondrous power (ivory goats),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Figurine of wondrous power (marble elephant),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Figurine of wondrous power (obsidian steed),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,, +Figurine of wondrous power (onyx dog),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Figurine of wondrous power (serpentine owl),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Figurine of wondrous power (silver raven),2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,, +Finders Goggles,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,eyewear,creature with the mark of finding, +Flail of Tiamat,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,flail,required, +Flame tongue,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any sword,required, +Flying Chariot,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,mount,, +Fochlucan Bandore,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,two handed,bard, +Folding boat,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,, +Frost brand,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,any sword,required, +Fulminating Treatise,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Galder’s Bubble Pipe,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,one handed,required, +Gambler’s Blade,3,Rare,Bu,2750,weapon,any sword,required,cursed +Gauntlets of Flaming Fury ,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,armwear x2,required, +Gauntlets of ogre power,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,armwear x2,required, +Gavel of the Venn Rune,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,consumable,, +Gem of brightness,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,consumable,, +Gem of seeing,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,one handed,required, +Ghost Lantern,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,required, +Giant slayer,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any axe or sword,, +Glamerweave,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,clothing,, +Glamerweave (Uncommon),2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,clothing,, +Glamoured studded leather,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,studded leather,, +Gloves of missile snaring,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,armwear x2,required, +Gloves of swimming and climbing,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,armwear x2,required, +Gloves of thievery,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,armwear x2,, +Gnomengarde Grenade,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,, +Goggles of night,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,eyewear,, +Goggles of Object Reading,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,eyewear,, +Greater Silver Sword,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,greatsword,psionic creature, +Green Dragon Mask,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,facewear,required, +Guardian Emblem,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,cleric or paladin, +Guild Keyrune (Azorius),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Keyrune (Boros),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Keyrune (Dimir),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Keyrune (Golgari),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Keyrune (Gruul),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Keyrune (Izzet),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Keyrune (Orzhov),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Keyrune (Rakdos),2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Keyrune (Selesnya),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Keyrune (Simic),2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,member of the relevant guild, +Guild Signet,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,fingerwear,required, +Gulthias Staff,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,staff,required, +Gurt’s Greataxe,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,greataxe,required, +Hammer of thunderbolts,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,maul,optional, +Hat of disguise,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,headwear,required, +Hat of Vermin,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,headwear,required, +Hat of Wizardry,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,headwear,wizard, +Hazirawn,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,greatsword,required, +Headband of intellect,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,head slot,required, +Heart Weaver’s Primer,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Hellfire Weapon,2,Uncommon,A,600,weapon,any,, +Hellhound Cloak,3,Rare,Bu,2750,wondrous item,cloak,required,cursed +Helm of brilliance,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,headwear,required, +Helm of comprehending languages,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,headwear,, +Helm of Devil Command,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,headwear,creature that can speak infernal, +Helm of telepathy,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,headwear,required, +Helm of teleportation,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,headwear,required, +Helm of the Gods,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,headwear,required, +Helm of the Scavenger,5,Legendary,A,300000,wondrous item,,"spellcaster, optional", +Helm of Underwater Action,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,headwear,required, +Hew,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,battleaxe,, +Hewards Hireling Armor,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,leather,, +Heward’s handy haversack,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,, +Heward’s Handy Spice Pouch,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Holy avenger,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,any sword,paladin, +Holy Symbol of Ravenkind,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,holy symbol,cleric or paladin of good alignment, +Hook of Fishers Delight,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Horn of blasting,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,one handed,, +Horn of Silent Alarm,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,one handed,, +Horn of valhalla (brass),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,one handed,, +Horn of valhalla (bronze),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,one handed,, +Horn of valhalla (iron),5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,one handed,, +Horn of valhalla (silver),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,one handed,, +Horned Ring,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,fingerwear,, +Horseshoes of a zephyr,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,mount item,, +Horseshoes of speed,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,mount item,, +Hunters Coat,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,leather,, +Icon of Ravenloft,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,one handed,creature of good alignment, +Illusionists Bracers,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,armwear x2,spellcaster, +Imbued Wood,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,"wand, staff or rod",required, +Immovable rod,2,Uncommon,A,600,rod,,, +Infernal Puzzle Box,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,horsegear,creature of evil alignment, +Infernal Tack,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,horsegear,creature of evil alignment, +Ingot of the Skold Rune ,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Inquisitive’s Goggles,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,head slot,Mark of Finding, +Insignia of Claws +1,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,neckwear,, +Insignia of Claws +2,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,neckwear,, +Insignia of Claws +3,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,neckwear,, +Instrument of Illusions ,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,two handed,required, +Instrument of Scribing,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,one handed,required, +Ioun stone (absorption),4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (agility),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (awareness),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (fortitude),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (greater absorption),5,Legendary,Bu,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (Historical Knowledge),3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (insight),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (intellect),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (Language Knowledge),3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (leadership),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (mastery),5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (Natural Knowledge),3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (protection),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (regeneration),5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (Religious Knowledge),3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (reserve),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (Self-Preservation),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (strength),4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (Supreme Intellect),3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (sustenance),3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Ioun stone (Vitality),4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Iron bands of bilarro,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Iron Fang,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,war pick,required, +Iron flask,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,, +Javelin of Backbiting,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,weapon,javelin,required,cursed +Javelin of lightning,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,javelin,, +Keoghtom’s ointment,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,consumable,, +Keycharm,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Khrusor Spear of Heliod,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,spear,required, +Knave’s Eye Patch,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,eyewear,required, +Korolnor Scepter,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,required, +Kyrzins Ooze,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required,Cant be voluntarily removed +Lantern of revealing,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,,, +Lantern of Tracking,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Last Stand Armor,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,,required, +Leather Golem Armor,3,Rare,Bu,2750,armor,leather,required,cursed +Libram of Souls and Flesh ,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Lightbringer,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,mace,, +Living Armor,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,plate,required,Cant be voluntarily removed +Living Gloves,2,Uncommon,A,600,armor,handwear,required,Cant be voluntarily removed +Living Loot Satchel (Rank 2),2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Living Loot Satchel (Rank 3),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Living Loot Satchel (Rank 4),4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,, +Loadstone,3,Rare,Au,2000,wondrous item,gem,,cursed +Lock of Trickery,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Lord’s Ensemble ,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,clothing,creature with a humanoid build, +Lost Crown of Besilmer,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,headwear,required, +Luck blade (with wishes),5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,any sword,required, +Luck blade (Without wishes),5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,any sword,required, +Luxon Beacon,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,,, +Lyre of Building,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,bard, +Mabaran Resonator ,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,required, +Mac-Fuirmidh Cittern,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,two handed,bard, +Mace of disruption,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,mace,required, +Mace of smiting,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,mace,, +Mace of terror,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,mace,required, +Mantle of spell resistance,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Manual of bodily health,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tome,, +Manual of gainful exercise,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tome,, +Manual of golems,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tome,, +Manual of quickness of action,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tome,, +Many-Handed Pouch,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,pouch,, +Mariner’s armor,2,Uncommon,A,600,armor,"light, medium, heavy",, +Mask of the Beast,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,facewear,, +Mask of the Dragon Queen,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,facewear,required, +Masters Call,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,,required, +Master’s Amulet,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,neckwear,, +Mastix Whip of Erebos,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,whip,required, +Matalotok,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,warhammer,required, +Medallion of thoughts,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,neck slot,required, +Mind Blade,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any sword,specific mind flayer or one of its thralls, +Mind Carapace Armor,2,Uncommon,B,800,armor,heavy,specific individual, +Mind Lash,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,whip,mind flayer, +Mirror of life trapping,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,, +Mirror of the Past,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,, +Mithral armor,2,Uncommon,B,800,armor,"medium, heavy (not hide)",, +Mithral Half Plate +1,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,medium,, +Mizzium Apparatus,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,harness,"sorcerer, warlock, or wizard",Technically no but could go awry +Mizzium Armor,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,"medium, heavy (not hide)",, +Mizzium Mortar,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Molten Bronze Skin,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,"breastplate, half-plate, or plate",required, +Mommy Rot Antidote,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,Potion,,, +Moodmark Paint,1,Common,Au,25,wondrous item,,, +Moon Sickle +1,2,Uncommon,C,1000,weapon,sickle,druid or ranger, +Moon Sickle +2,3,Rare,C,14000,weapon,sickle,druid or ranger, +Moon Sickle +3,4,Very Rare,C,120000,weapon,sickle,druid or ranger, +Moon-Touched Sword,1,Common,B,200,weapon,any sword,, +Mystery Key,1,Common,Au,25,wondrous item,,, +Natures Mantle,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,cloak,druid or ranger, +Navigation Orb,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,,required, +Necklace of adaptation,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Necklace of fireballs,3,Rare,Bu,2750,wondrous item,neckwear,, +Necklace of prayer beads,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,neckwear,"cleric, druid, or paladin", +Needle of Mending,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,dagger,required, +Night Caller,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,one handed,, +Nightfall Pearl,5,Legendary,A,300000,wondrous item,,required, +Nine lives stealer,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,any sword,required, +Nolzur’s marvelous pigments,4,Very Rare,Au,20000,wondrous item,consumable,, +Oathbow,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,longbow,required, +Obsidian Flint Dragon Plate,5,Legendary,B,400000,armor,plate,, +Obviator’s Lenses (Rank 2),2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Obviator’s Lenses (Rank 4),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Occultant Abacus (Rank 1),1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,,, +Occultant Abacus (Rank 2),2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,,, +Occultant Abacus (Rank 3),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Oil of etherealness,3,Rare,Au,2000,potion,,, +Oil of sharpness,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,potion,,, +Oil of slipperiness,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,potion,,, +Ollamh Harp,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,bard, +Opal of the Ild Rune,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,required, +Orb of Direction,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Orb of Gonging,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Orb of Shielding,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,,required, +Orb of the Stein Rune,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,required, +Orb of the Veil,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Orb of Time,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Outer Essence Shard,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,sorcerer, +Paper bird,2,Uncommon,Au,150,wondrous item,,, +Pariah’s Shield,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,shield,required, +Pearl of power,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,spellcaster, +Pennant of the Vind Rune,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Peregrine Mask,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,facewear,required, +Perfume of Bewitching,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Periapt of health,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,neck slot,, +Periapt of proof against poison,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,neck slot,, +Periapt of wound closure,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,neck slot,required, +Philter of love,2,Uncommon,Au,150,potion,,, +Piercer,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,shortsword,required, +Pipe of Remembrance,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Pipe of Smoke Monsters,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Pipes of haunting,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,two handed,, +Pipes of the sewers,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,,required, +Piwafwi (Cloak of Elvenkind),2,Uncommon,Bu,200,wondrous item,,required, +Piwafwi of Fire Resistance,3,Rare,Bu,2750,wondrous item,,required, +Planecaller’s Codex,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Plate armor of etherealness,5,Legendary,A,300000,armor,plate,required, +Pole of Angling,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Pole of Collapsing,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Polymorph Blade,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,weapon,,required, +Portable hole,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,, +Portfolio Keeper (Rank 2),2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Portfolio Keeper (Rank 3),3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,, +Portfolio Keeper (Rank 4),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Pot of Awakening,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,consumable,, +Potion of animal friendship,2,Uncommon,Au,150,potion,,, +Potion of Aqueous Form,3,Rare,Au,2000,potion,,, +Potion of clairvoyance,3,Rare,Au,2000,potion,,, +Potion of climbing,1,Common,Au,25,potion,,, +Potion of diminution,3,Rare,Bu,2750,potion,,, +Potion of Fire Breath,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,potion,,, +Potion of Flying,4,Very Rare,Cu,30000,potion,,, +Potion of Gaseous Form,3,Rare,Au,2000,potion,,, +Potion of Gian Size,5,Legendary,Bu,100000,potion,,, +Potion of giant strength (cloud giant),4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,potion,,, +Potion of giant strength (fire giant),3,Rare,Bu,2750,potion,,, +Potion of giant strength (frost or stone giant),3,Rare,Bu,2750,potion,,, +Potion of giant strength (hill giant),2,Uncommon,Bu,200,potion,,, +Potion of giant strength (storm giant),5,Legendary,Bu,100000,potion,,, +Potion of growth,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,potion,,, +Potion of healing,1,Common,Bu,50,potion,,, +Potion of healing (greater),2,Uncommon,Bu,200,potion,,, +Potion of healing (superiour),3,Rare,Bu,2750,potion,,, +Potion of healing (supreme),4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,potion,,, +Potion of heroism,3,Rare,Bu,2750,potion,,, +Potion of invisibility,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,potion,,, +Potion of invulnerability,3,Rare,Bu,2750,potion,,, +Potion of longevity,4,Very Rare,Au,20000,potion,,, +Potion of Maximum Power,3,Rare,Bu,2750,potion,,, +Potion of Mind Control (beast/person),3,Rare,Cu,3500,potion,,, +Potion of Mind Control (monster),4,Very Rare,Cu,30000,potion,,, +Potion of mind reading,3,Rare,Cu,3500,potion,,, +Potion of poison,2,Uncommon,Au,150,potion,,, +Potion of Possibility,4,Very Rare,Cu,30000,potion,,, +Potion of resistance,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,potion,,, +Potion of speed,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,potion,,, +Potion of vitality,4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,potion,,, +Potion of water breathing,2,Uncommon,Au,150,potion,,, +Powered Armor,5,Legendary,C,500000,armor,plate,, +Pressure Capsule,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Professor Orb,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,, +Propellor Helm,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,headwear,small humanoid, +Prosthetic Limb,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,creature missing some or all of a limb, +Protective Verses,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,book,wizard, +Psi Crystal,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,Intelligence 3 or higher, +Pyroconverger,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,,, +Pyxis of Pandemonium,5,Legendary,Bu,100000,wondrous item,,,tries to charm the user +Quaal’s feather token,3,Rare,Bu,2750,wondrous item,consumable,, +Quiver of Ehlonna,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,,, +Radiant Weapon,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any,, +Rakdos Riteknife,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,dagger,required, +Red Dragon Mask,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,facewear,required, +Reincarnation Dust,4,Very Rare,Cu,30000,wondrous item,,, +Returning Weapon,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any thrown,, +Reveler’s Concertina,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,bard, +Revenant Double Bladed Scimitar,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,double bladed scimitar,, +Rhythm-Makers Drum +1,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,,bard, +Rhythm-Makers Drum +2,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,bard, +Rhythm-Makers Drum +3,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,bard, +Ring of animal influence,3,Rare,A,8000,ring,,, +Ring of djinni summoning,5,Legendary,C,500000,ring,,required, +Ring of elemental command,5,Legendary,C,500000,ring,,required, +Ring of evasion,3,Rare,B,11000,ring,,required, +Ring of feather falling,3,Rare,A,8000,ring,,required, +Ring of free action,3,Rare,B,11000,ring,,required, +Ring of invisibility,5,Legendary,C,500000,ring,,required, +Ring of jumping,2,Uncommon,A,600,ring,,required, +Ring of mind shielding,2,Uncommon,A,600,ring,,required, +Ring of Obscuring,2,Uncommon,A,600,ring,,required, +Ring of protection,3,Rare,B,11000,ring,,required, +Ring of regeneration,4,Very Rare,B,100000,ring,,required, +Ring of resistance,3,Rare,B,11000,ring,,required, +Ring of shooting stars,4,Very Rare,C,120000,ring,,required, +Ring of spell storing,3,Rare,C,14000,ring,,required, +Ring of spell turning,5,Legendary,B,400000,ring,,required, +Ring of swimming,2,Uncommon,A,600,ring,,, +Ring of telekinesis,4,Very Rare,B,100000,ring,,required, +Ring of Temporal Salvation,3,Rare,B,11000,ring,,required, +Ring of the ram,3,Rare,B,11000,ring,,required, +Ring of three wishes,5,Legendary,C,500000,ring,,, +Ring of Truth Telling,2,Uncommon,A,600,ring,,required, +Ring of warmth,2,Uncommon,B,800,ring,,required, +Ring of water walking,2,Uncommon,A,600,ring,,, +Ring of x-ray vision,3,Rare,A,8000,ring,,required, +Rings of Shared Suffering,2,Uncommon,B,1600,ring,,required, +Robe of eyes,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,robe,required, +Robe of scintillating colors,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,robe,required, +Robe of Serpents,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,robe,required, +Robe of stars,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,robe,required, +Robe of Summer,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,robe,required, +Robe of the Archmagi,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,robe,required, +Robe of Useful Items,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,robe,, +Rod of Absorption,4,Very Rare,B,100000,rod,consumable,required, +Rod of Alertness,4,Very Rare,B,100000,rod,,required, +Rod of Lordly Might,5,Legendary,B,400000,rod,,required, +Rod of Resurrection,5,Legendary,C,500000,rod,,required, +Rod of Retribution,2,Uncommon,B,800,rod,,required, +Rod of rulership,3,Rare,C,14000,rod,,required, +Rod of security,4,Very Rare,C,120000,rod,,, +Rod of the pact keeper +1,2,Uncommon,C,1000,rod,,required, +Rod of the pact keeper +2,3,Rare,C,14000,rod,,required, +Rod of the pact keeper +3,4,Very Rare,C,120000,rod,,required, +Rod of the Vonindod,3,Rare,A,8000,rod,,required, +Rope of climbing,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Rope of entanglement,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Rope of Mending,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Rotor of Return,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Ruby of the War Mage,1,Common,C,400,wondrous item,,spellcaster, +Ruinblade,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,greatsword,required, +Saddle of the cavalier,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,mount item,, +Saint Markovias Thighbone,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,mace,required, +Scarab of protection,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,,required, +Scimitar of speed,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,scimitar,required, +Scorpion Armour,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,plate,required,poison damage on donning and doffing +Scribes Pen,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Scroll of protection,3,Rare,Bu,2750,scroll,,, +Scroll of Tarrasque Summoning,5,Legendary,Cu,125000,scroll,,, +Scroll of the Comet,5,Legendary,Bu,100000,scroll,,, +Seeker Dart,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,dart,, +Sekolahian Worshiping Statuette,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,,, +Sending Stones,2,Uncommon,A,1200,wondrous item,,, +Sentinel Shield,2,Uncommon,B,800,armor,shield,, +Shadowfell Shard,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,sorcerer, +Shard of the Ise Rune ,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Shatterspike,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,longsword,required, +Shield +1,2,Uncommon,B,800,armor,shield,, +Shield +2,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,shield,, +Shield +3,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,shield,, +Shield of Expression,1,Common,A,100,armor,shield,, +Shield of Farsight,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,shield,, +Shield of Missile Attraction,3,Rare,B,11000,armor,shield,required,missiles are attracted to you +Shield of the Hidden Lord,5,Legendary,C,500000,armor,shield,required, +Shield of the Uven Rune,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,shield,required, +Shiftweave,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,clothing,, +Skyblinder Staff,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,instrument,required, +Skyblinder Staff,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,stuff,required, +Sling Bullets of Althemone,4,Very Rare,Cu,30000,weapon,sling bullet,, +Slippers of spider climbing,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,feet slot,required, +Smokepowder,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,consumable,, +Smoldering Armor,1,Common,A,100,armor,any armor,, +Soul Coin,2,Uncommon,Cu,,wondrous item,,, +Sovereign glue,5,Legendary,Au,75000,wondrous item,consumable,, +Speaking Stone,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Spear of Backbiting,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,spear,,can hit user +Spell Bottle,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,,required, +Spell Gem (Amber),4,Very Rare,Au,20000,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell Gem (Bloodstone),3,Rare,Cu,3500,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell Gem (Diamond),5,Legendary,Cu,125000,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell Gem (Jade),4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell Gem (Lapis Lazuli),2,Uncommon,Cu,250,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell Gem (Obsidian),2,Uncommon,Bu,200,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell Gem (Quartz),3,Rare,Bu,2750,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell Gem (Ruby),5,Legendary,Bu,100000,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell Gem (Star Ruby),5,Legendary,Au,75000,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell Gem (Topaz),4,Very Rare,Cu,30000,wondrous item,,spellcaster to imbue the gem, +Spell scroll (1st level),1,Common,Cu,100,scroll,,, +Spell scroll (2nd level),2,Uncommon,Au,150,scroll,,, +Spell scroll (3rd level),2,Uncommon,Cu,250,scroll,,, +Spell scroll (4th level),3,Rare,Au,2000,scroll,,, +Spell scroll (5th level),3,Rare,Cu,3500,scroll,,, +Spell scroll (6th level),4,Very Rare,Au,20000,scroll,,, +Spell scroll (7th level),4,Very Rare,Bu,25000,scroll,,, +Spell scroll (8th level),4,Very Rare,Cu,30000,scroll,,, +Spell scroll (9th level),5,Legendary,Bu,100000,scroll,,, +Spell scroll (cantrip),1,Common,Au,25,scroll,,, +Spell Sink,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,, +Spellguard shield,4,Very Rare,B,100000,armor,shield,required, +Spellshard,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Sphere of annihilation,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,,, +Spider Staff,3,Rare,B,11000,staff,,required, +Spies Murmur,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,required, +Spyglass of Clairvoyance,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Staff of Adornment,1,Common,A,100,staff,,, +Staff of Bird Calls,1,Common,A,100,staff,,, +Staff of charming,3,Rare,B,11000,staff,,"bard, cleric, druid, sorcerer, warlock, or wizard", +Staff of Defense,3,Rare,C,14000,staff,,required, +Staff of Dunamancy,4,Very Rare,C,120000,staff,,wizard, +Staff of fire,4,Very Rare,B,100000,staff,,"druid, sorcerer, warlock, or wizard", +Staff of Flowers,1,Common,A,100,staff,,, +Staff of frost,4,Very Rare,B,100000,staff,,"druid, sorcerer, warlock, or wizard", +Staff of healing,3,Rare,B,11000,staff,,"bard, cleric, or druid", +Staff of power,4,Very Rare,C,120000,staff,,"sorcerer, warlock, or wizard", +Staff of striking,4,Very Rare,B,100000,staff,,required, +Staff of swarming insects,3,Rare,C,14000,staff,,"bard, cleric, druid, sorcerer, warlock, or wizard", +Staff of the adder,2,Uncommon,B,800,staff,,"cleric, druid, or warlock", +Staff of the Ivory Claw,3,Rare,B,11000,staff,,spellcaster, +Staff of the magi,5,Legendary,C,500000,staff,,"sorcerer, warlock, or wizard", +Staff of the python,2,Uncommon,B,800,staff,,"cleric, druid, or warlock", +Staff of the woodlands,4,Very Rare,C,120000,staff,,druid, +Staff of thunder and lightning,4,Very Rare,B,100000,staff,,required, +Staff of withering,3,Rare,B,11000,staff,,"cleric, druid, or warlock", +Stone of controlling earth elementals,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +Stone of good luck (luckstone),2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,,required, +Stone of Ill Luck,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,wondrous item,,required,Actually the opposite +Stonespeaker Crytsal,3,Rare,A,8000,wondrous item,,required, +Storm Boomerang,2,Uncommon,Bu,200,weapon,boomerang,, +Storm Spire,5,Legendary,A,300000,wondrous item,,required, +Sun blade,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,longsword,required, +Sunforger,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,warhammer,required, +Sword of answering,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,longsword,creature with the same alignment as the sword, +Sword of life stealing,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any sword,required, +Sword of Paruns,4,Very Rare,C,120000,weapon,longsword,required, +Sword of sharpness,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,any sword (slashing),required, +Sword of vengeance,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,any sword,required,force to kill who damaged user +Sword of wounding,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any sword,required, +Sword of Zariel,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,longsword,creature the sword deems worthy, +Talisman of pure good,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,neckwear,creature of good alignment, +Talisman of the sphere,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,neckwear,required, +Talisman of ultimate evil,5,Legendary,B,400000,wondrous item,neckwear,creature of evil alignment, +Tattoo Absorbing,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Barrier (Rare),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Barrier (Uncommon),2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Barrier (Very Rare),4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Blood Fury,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Cooling Grasp,2,Uncommon,B,800,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Eldritch Claw,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Ghost Step,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Illuminator,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Lifewell,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Masquerade,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,tattoo,required, +Tattoo Shadowfell Brand,3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,tattoo,, +Tattoo Spellwrought (1st Level),1,Common,Cu,100,wondrous item,tattoo,, +Tattoo Spellwrought (2nd Level),2,Uncommon,Au,150,wondrous item,tattoo,, +Tattoo Spellwrought (3rd Level),2,Uncommon,Cu,250,wondrous item,tattoo,, +Tattoo Spellwrought (4th Level),3,Rare,Au,2000,wondrous item,tattoo,, +Tattoo Spellwrought (5th Level),3,Rare,Cu,3500,wondrous item,tattoo,, +Tattoo Spellwrought (Cantrip),1,Common,Au,25,wondrous item,tattoo,, +Tentacle rod,3,Rare,B,11000,rod,,required, +Thermal Cube,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Thessaltoxin Antidote,2,Uncommon,Cu,250,potion,,, +Timepiece of Travel,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wondrous item,,required, +Tinderstrike,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,dagger,required, +Tome of clear thought,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tome,, +Tome of leadership and influence,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tome,, +Tome of the stilled tongue,5,Legendary,A,300000,wondrous item,tome,required, +Tome of Understanding,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,tome,, +Travel Alchemical Kit,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Trident of Fish Command,2,Uncommon,A,600,weapon,trident,required, +Two Birds Sling,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,sling,, +Universal Solvent,5,Legendary,Au,75000,wondrous item,consumable,, +Ventilating Lungs,4,Very Rare,A,80000,wondrous item,,required, +Veterans Cane,1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Vicious Rapier +1,3,Rare,C,14000,weapon,rapier,, +Vicious weapon,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any,, +Vorpal sword,5,Legendary,B,400000,weapon,any slashing sword,required, +Voting Kit,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,,, +Vox Seeker,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,,, +Voyager Staff,4,Very Rare,C,120000,staff,,spellcaster, +Walloping Ammunition,1,Common,B,200,weapon,ammunition,required, +Wand of binding,3,Rare,C,14000,wand,,spellcaster, +Wand of Conducting,1,Common,A,100,wand,,, +Wand of enemy detection,3,Rare,B,11000,wand,,required, +Wand of fear,3,Rare,B,11000,wand,,required, +Wand of fireballs,3,Rare,B,11000,wand,,required, +Wand of lightning bolts,3,Rare,B,11000,wand,,required, +Wand of magic detection,2,Uncommon,A,600,wand,,, +Wand of magic missiles,2,Uncommon,B,800,wand,,, +Wand of paralysis,3,Rare,B,11000,wand,,spellcaster, +Wand of polymorph,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wand,,spellcaster, +Wand of Pyrotechnics,1,Common,A,100,wand,,, +Wand of Scowls,1,Common,A,100,wand,,, +Wand of secrets,2,Uncommon,A,600,wand,,, +Wand of Smiles,1,Common,A,100,wand,,, +Wand of the war mage +1,2,Uncommon,B,800,wand,,spellcaster, +Wand of the war mage +2,3,Rare,B,11000,wand,,spellcaster, +Wand of the war mage +3,4,Very Rare,B,100000,wand,,spellcaster, +Wand of Viscid Globs,3,Rare,B,11000,wand,,required, +Wand of web,2,Uncommon,B,800,wand,,required, +Wand of Winter,3,Rare,B,11000,wand,,required, +Wand of wonder,3,Rare,C,14000,wand,,required, +Wand Sheath,1,Common,B,200,wondrous item,,warforged, +Weapon +1,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,any,, +Weapon +2,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,any,, +Weapon +3,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,any,, +Weapon of Certain Death,3,Rare,A,8000,weapon,any,required, +Weapon of warning,2,Uncommon,C,1000,weapon,any,required, +Well of many worlds,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,, +Wheel of Stars,4,Very Rare,C,120000,wondrous item,,required, +Wheel of Wind and Water,2,Uncommon,A,600,weapon,warhammer,required, +Whisper Jar (Rank 1),1,Common,A,100,wondrous item,,, +Whisper Jar (Rank 2),2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Whisper Jar (Rank 3),3,Rare,B,11000,wondrous item,,, +Whisper Jar (Rank 4),3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,,, +White Dragon Mask,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,, +Wierd Tank,5,Legendary,Bu,100000,wondrous item,,, +Wind fan,2,Uncommon,A,600,wondrous item,,, +Windvane,5,Legendary,C,500000,weapon,spear,required, +Winged boots,2,Uncommon,C,1000,wondrous item,feet slot,required, +Wings of flying,3,Rare,C,14000,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Wingwear,2,Uncommon,Cu,250,wondrous item,cloak,required, +Winters Dark Bite,2,Uncommon,C,1000,weapon,greatsword,, +Yklwa +1,2,Uncommon,B,800,weapon,yklwa,, +Yklwa +2,3,Rare,B,11000,weapon,yklwa,, +Yklwa +3,4,Very Rare,B,100000,weapon,yklwa,, +Ythryn Mythallar,5,Legendary,C,500000,wondrous item,,spellcaster, diff --git a/data_mass_insert.txt b/data_mass_insert.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7f37b4c --- /dev/null +++ b/data_mass_insert.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1494 @@ +hset dnd:acheronblade name 'Acheron Blade' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:acheronblade +hset dnd:adamantinearmor name 'Adamantine armor' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:adamantinearmor +hset dnd:akmonhammerofpurphoros name 'Akmon Hammer of Purphoros' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:alchemicalcompendium name 'Alchemical Compendium' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:alchemicalcompendium +hset dnd:alchemyjug name 'Alchemy jug' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:alchemyjug +hset dnd:allpurposetool1 name 'All Purpose Tool +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:allpurposetool1 +hset dnd:allpurposetool2 name 'All Purpose Tool +2' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:allpurposetool2 +hset dnd:allpurposetool3 name 'All Purpose Tool +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:allpurposetool3 +hset dnd:ammunition1 name 'Ammunition +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'ammunition' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ammunition1 +hset dnd:ammunition2 name 'Ammunition +2' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'ammunition' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ammunition2 +hset dnd:ammunition3 name 'Ammunition +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'ammunition' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:ammunition3 +hset dnd:amuletofhealth name 'Amulet of Health' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:amuletofhealth +hset dnd:amuletofproofagainstdetectionandlocation name 'Amulet of Proof Against Detection and Location' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:amuletofproofagainstdetectionandlocation +hset dnd:amuletofprotectionfromturning name 'Amulet of Protection from Turning' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:amuletofprotectionfromturning +hset dnd:amuletoftheblackskull name 'Amulet of the Black Skull' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:amuletoftheblackskull +hset dnd:amuletofthedevout1 name 'Amulet of the Devout +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:amuletofthedevout1 +hset dnd:amuletofthedevout2 name 'Amulet of the Devout +2' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:amuletofthedevout2 +hset dnd:amuletofthedevout3 name 'Amulet of the Devout +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:amuletofthedevout3 +hset dnd:amuletofthedrunkard name 'Amulet of the Drunkard' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:amuletofthedrunkard +hset dnd:amuletoftheplanes name 'Amulet of the planes' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:amuletoftheplanes +hset dnd:animatedshield name 'Animated shield' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:animatedshield +hset dnd:anstruthharp name 'Anstruth Harp' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:anstruthharp +hset dnd:apparatusofkwalish name 'Apparatus of Kwalish' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:arcanecannon name 'Arcane Cannon' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:arcanecannon +hset dnd:arcanegrimoire1 name 'Arcane Grimoire +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:arcanegrimoire1 +hset dnd:arcanegrimoire2 name 'Arcane Grimoire +2' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:arcanegrimoire2 +hset dnd:arcanegrimoire3 name 'Arcane Grimoire +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:arcanegrimoire3 +hset dnd:arcanepropulsionarm name 'Arcane Propulsion Arm' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:arcanepropulsionarm +hset dnd:arcanomechanicalarmor name 'Arcanomechanical Armor' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:arcanomechanicalarmor +hset dnd:armblade name 'Armblade' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:armblade +hset dnd:armor1 name 'Armor +1' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:armor1 +hset dnd:armor2 name 'Armor +2' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:armor2 +hset dnd:armor3 name 'Armor +3' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:armorofgleaming name 'Armor of Gleaming' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:armorofgleaming +hset dnd:armorofinvulnerability name 'Armor of invulnerability' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:armorofresistance name 'Armor of resistance' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:armorofresistance +hset dnd:armorofvulnerability name 'Armor of vulnerability' rarity 'Rare' price '2000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:armorofvulnerability +hset dnd:arrowofslaying name 'Arrow of slaying' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'ammunition' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:arrowofslaying +hset dnd:arrowcatchingshield name 'Arrow-catching shield' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:arrowcatchingshield +hset dnd:astralshard name 'Astral Shard' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:astralshard +hset dnd:astromancyarchive name 'Astromancy Archive' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:astromancyarchive +hset dnd:atlasofendlesshorizons name 'Atlas of Endless Horizons' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:atlasofendlesshorizons +hset dnd:badgeofthewatch name 'Badge of the Watch' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:badgeofthewatch +hset dnd:bagofbeans name 'Bag of beans' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bagofbeans +hset dnd:bagofbounty name 'Bag of Bounty' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bagofbounty +hset dnd:bagofdevouring name 'Bag of devouring' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:bagofdevouring +hset dnd:bagofholding name 'Bag of Holding' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bagofholding +hset dnd:bagoftricks name 'Bag of Tricks' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bagoftricks +hset dnd:balanceofharmony name 'Balance of Harmony' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:balanceofharmony +hset dnd:balloonpack name 'Balloon Pack' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:balloonpack +hset dnd:bandofloyalty name 'Band of Loyalty' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:bandofloyalty +hset dnd:bannerofthekrigrune name 'Banner of the Krig Rune' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bannerofthekrigrune +hset dnd:batteringshield name 'Battering Shield' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:batteringshield +hset dnd:battlestandardofinfernalpower name 'Battle Standard of Infernal Power' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:battlestandardofinfernalpower +hset dnd:beadofforce name 'Bead of force' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:beadofforce +hset dnd:beadofnourishment name 'Bead of Nourishment' rarity 'Common' price '25' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:beadofnourishment +hset dnd:beadofrefreshment name 'Bead of Refreshment' rarity 'Common' price '25' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:beadofrefreshment +hset dnd:belashyrrasbeholdercrown name 'Belashyrras Beholder Crown' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:bellbranch name 'Bell Branch' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bellbranch +hset dnd:beltofdwarvenkind name 'Belt of dwarvenkind' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:beltofdwarvenkind +hset dnd:beltofgiantstrengthcloudgiant name 'Belt of giant strength (cloud giant)' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:beltofgiantstrengthfiregiant name 'Belt of giant strength (fire giant)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:beltofgiantstrengthfiregiant +hset dnd:beltofgiantstrengthfrostorstonegiant name 'Belt of giant strength (frost or stone giant)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:beltofgiantstrengthfrostorstonegiant +hset dnd:beltofgiantstrengthhillgiant name 'Belt of giant strength (hill giant)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:beltofgiantstrengthhillgiant +hset dnd:beltofgiantstrengthstormgiant name 'Belt of giant strength (storm giant)' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:berserkeraxe name 'Berserker axe' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:berserkeraxe +hset dnd:berserkeraxetamoachan name 'Berserker axe (Tamoachan)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:berserkeraxetamoachan +hset dnd:blackcrystaltablet name 'Black Crystal Tablet' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:blackdragonmask name 'Black Dragon Mask' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:bladeofthemedusa name 'Blade of the Medusa' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:bladeofthemedusa +hset dnd:blastscepter name 'Blast Scepter' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:blastscepter +hset dnd:blodstone name 'Blod Stone' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:blodstone +hset dnd:bloodofthelycanthropeantidote name 'Blood of the Lycanthrope Antidote' rarity 'Uncommon' price '250' type 'Potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bloodofthelycanthropeantidote +hset dnd:bloodspear name 'Blood Spear' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bloodspear +hset dnd:bloodaxe name 'Bloodaxe' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:bloodaxe +hset dnd:bloodwellvial1 name 'Bloodwell Vial +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bloodwellvial1 +hset dnd:bloodwellvial2 name 'Bloodwell Vial +2' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bloodwellvial2 +hset dnd:bloodwellvial3 name 'Bloodwell Vial +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:bloodwellvial3 +hset dnd:bluedragonmask name 'Blue Dragon Mask ' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:bonecounter name 'Bonecounter' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bonecounter +hset dnd:bookmark name 'Bookmark' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:boomerang1 name 'Boomerang +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:boomerang1 +hset dnd:boomerang2 name 'Boomerang +2' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:boomerang2 +hset dnd:boomerang3 name 'Boomerang +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:boomerang3 +hset dnd:bootsofelvenkind name 'Boots of Elvenkind' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bootsofelvenkind +hset dnd:bootsoffalsetracks name 'Boots of False Tracks' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:bootsoffalsetracks +hset dnd:bootsoflevitation name 'Boots of levitation' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bootsoflevitation +hset dnd:bootsofspeed name 'Boots of speed' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bootsofspeed +hset dnd:bootsofstridingandspringing name 'Boots of Striding and Springing' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bootsofstridingandspringing +hset dnd:bootsofthewindingpath name 'Boots of the Winding Path ' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bootsofthewindingpath +hset dnd:bootsofthewinterlands name 'Boots of the Winterlands' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bootsofthewinterlands +hset dnd:bottledbreath name 'Bottled Breath' rarity 'Uncommon' price '150' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bottledbreath +hset dnd:bowlofcommandingwaterelementals name 'Bowl of commanding water elementals' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bowlofcommandingwaterelementals +hset dnd:braceletofrockmagic name 'Bracelet of Rock Magic' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:braceletofrockmagic +hset dnd:bracerofflyingdaggers name 'Bracer of Flying Daggers' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bracerofflyingdaggers +hset dnd:bracersofarchery name 'Bracers of Archery' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:bracersofarchery +hset dnd:bracersofdefense name 'Bracers of defense' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bracersofdefense +hset dnd:brazierofcommandingfireelementals name 'Brazier of commanding fire elementals' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:brazierofcommandingfireelementals +hset dnd:breathingbubble name 'Breathing Bubble' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:breathingbubble +hset dnd:bridleofcapturing name 'Bridle of Capturing' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:bridleofcapturing +hset dnd:broochoflivingessence name 'Brooch of Living Essence' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:broochoflivingessence +hset dnd:broochofshielding name 'Brooch of Shielding' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:broochofshielding +hset dnd:broomofflying name 'Broom of Flying' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:broomofflying +hset dnd:butchersbib name 'Butchers Bib' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:butchersbib +hset dnd:canaithmandolin name 'Canaith Mandolin' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:canaithmandolin +hset dnd:candleofinvocation name 'Candle of invocation' rarity 'Very Rare' price '30000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:candleofinvocation +hset dnd:candleofthedeep name 'Candle of the Deep' rarity 'Common' price '25' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:candleofthedeep +hset dnd:capofwaterbreathing name 'Cap of Water Breathing' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:capofwaterbreathing +hset dnd:capeofthemountebank name 'Cape of the Mountebank' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:capeofthemountebank +hset dnd:carpetofflying name 'Carpet of flying' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:carpetofflying +hset dnd:cartographersmapcase name 'Cartographers Map Case' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:cartographersmapcase +hset dnd:castoffarmor name 'Cast-Off Armor' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:castoffarmor +hset dnd:cauldronofplenty name 'Cauldron of Plenty' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:cauldronofplenty +hset dnd:cauldronofrebirth name 'Cauldron of Rebirth' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:cauldronofrebirth +hset dnd:censerofcontrollingairelementals name 'Censer of controlling air elementals' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:censerofcontrollingairelementals +hset dnd:charlatansdie name 'Charlatans Die' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:charlatansdie +hset dnd:charmofplantcommand name 'Charm of Plant Command' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:charmofplantcommand +hset dnd:chestofpreserving name 'Chest of Preserving' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:chestofpreserving +hset dnd:chimeofopening name 'Chime of opening' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:chimeofopening +hset dnd:chronolometer name 'Chronolometer' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:chronolometer +hset dnd:circletofblasting name 'Circlet of Blasting' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:circletofblasting +hset dnd:circletofhumanperfection name 'Circlet of Human Perfection' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:circletofhumanperfection +hset dnd:clawofthewyrmrune name 'Claw of the Wyrm Rune' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:clawofthewyrmrune +hset dnd:clawsoftheumberhulk name 'Claws of the Umber Hulk' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:clawsoftheumberhulk +hset dnd:cleansingstone name 'Cleansing Stone' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:cleansingstone +hset dnd:clilyre name 'Cli Lyre' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:clilyre +hset dnd:cloakofarachnida name 'Cloak of arachnida' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:cloakofarachnida +hset dnd:cloakofbillowing name 'Cloak of Billowing' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:cloakofbillowing +hset dnd:cloakofdisplacement name 'Cloak of displacement' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:cloakofdisplacement +hset dnd:cloakofelvenkind name 'Cloak of Elvenkind' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:cloakofelvenkind +hset dnd:cloakofinvisibility name 'Cloak of invisibility' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:cloakofmanyfashions name 'Cloak of Many Fashions' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:cloakofmanyfashions +hset dnd:cloakofprotection name 'Cloak of protection' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:cloakofprotection +hset dnd:cloakofthebat name 'Cloak of the bat' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:cloakofthebat +hset dnd:cloakofthemantaray name 'Cloak of the manta ray' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:cloakofthemantaray +hset dnd:clockworkamulet name 'Clockwork Amulet' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:clockworkamulet +hset dnd:clothesofmending name 'Clothes of Mending' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:clothesofmending +hset dnd:coinofdecisionryrank2 name 'Coin of Decisionry (Rank 2)' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:coinofdecisionryrank2 +hset dnd:coinofdecisionryrank3 name 'Coin of Decisionry (Rank 3)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:coinofdecisionryrank3 +hset dnd:coinofdelving name 'Coin of Delving' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:coinofdelving +hset dnd:conchofteleportation name 'Conch of Teleportation' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:conchofteleportation +hset dnd:corpseslayer name 'Corpse Slayer' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:corpseslayer +hset dnd:crystalball name 'Crystal ball' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:crystalball +hset dnd:crystalballvarious name 'Crystal ball (various)' rarity 'Legendary' price '300000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:crystallinechronicle name 'Crystalline Chronicle' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:crystallinechronicle +hset dnd:cubeofforce name 'Cube of force' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:cubeofforce +hset dnd:cubicgate name 'Cubic gate' rarity 'Legendary' price '300000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:cursedluckstone name 'Cursed Luckstone' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:cursedluckstone +hset dnd:daernsinstantfortress name 'Daern’s instant fortress' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:daernsinstantfortress +hset dnd:daggerofblindsight name 'Dagger of Blindsight' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:daggerofblindsight +hset dnd:daggerofvenom name 'Dagger of venom' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:daggerofvenom +hset dnd:dancingsword name 'Dancing sword' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:dancingsword +hset dnd:darkshardamulet name 'Dark Shard Amulet' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:darkshardamulet +hset dnd:decanterofendlesswater name 'Decanter of endless water' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:decanterofendlesswater +hset dnd:deckofillusions name 'Deck of illusions' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:deckofillusions +hset dnd:deckofmanythings name 'Deck of many things' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:deckofseveralthings name 'Deck of Several Things' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:defender name 'Defender' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:dekellabidentofthassa name 'Dekella Bident of Thassa' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:demonarmor name 'Demon armor' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:demonarmor +hset dnd:devastationorb name 'Devastation Orb' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:devastationorb +hset dnd:devoteescenser name 'Devotees Censer' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:devoteescenser +hset dnd:dimensionalloop name 'Dimensional Loop' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:dimensionalseal name 'Dimensional Seal' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:dimensionalseal +hset dnd:dimensionalshackles name 'Dimensional shackles' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:dimensionalshackles +hset dnd:dispellingstone name 'Dispelling Stone' rarity 'Very Rare' price '20000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:dispellingstone +hset dnd:docent name 'Docent' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:docent +hset dnd:documancysatchelrank2 name 'Documancy Satchel (Rank 2)' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:documancysatchelrank2 +hset dnd:documancysatchelrank3 name 'Documancy Satchel (Rank 3)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:documancysatchelrank3 +hset dnd:documancysatchelrank4 name 'Documancy Satchel (Rank 4)' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:documancysatchelrank4 +hset dnd:dodecahedronofdoom name 'Dodecahedron of Doom' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:dodecahedronofdoom +hset dnd:dosslute name 'Doss Lute' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:dosslute +hset dnd:dragonscalemail name 'Dragon scale mail' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:dragonscalemail +hset dnd:dragonslayer name 'Dragon slayer' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:dragonslayer +hset dnd:dragonguard name 'Dragonguard' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:dragonguard +hset dnd:dragonstaffofahghairon name 'Dragonstaff of Ahghairon' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:dragontoothdagger name 'Dragontooth Dagger' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:dragontoothdagger +hset dnd:dreadhelm name 'Dread Helm' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:dreadhelm +hset dnd:driftglobe name 'Driftglobe' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:driftglobe +hset dnd:drown name 'Drown' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:duplicitousmanuscript name 'Duplicitous Manuscript' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:duplicitousmanuscript +hset dnd:duskcrusher name 'Duskcrusher' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:duskcrusher +hset dnd:dustofdeliciousness name 'Dust of Deliciousness' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:dustofdeliciousness +hset dnd:dustofdisappearance name 'Dust of disappearance' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:dustofdisappearance +hset dnd:dustofdryness name 'Dust of dryness' rarity 'Uncommon' price '150' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:dustofdryness +hset dnd:dustofsneezingandchoking name 'Dust of sneezing and choking' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:dustofsneezingandchoking +hset dnd:dwarvenplate name 'Dwarven plate' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:dwarvenplate +hset dnd:dwarventhrower name 'Dwarven thrower' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:dwarventhrower +hset dnd:dyrrnstentaclewhip name 'Dyrrns Tentacle Whip' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:dyrrnstentaclewhip +hset dnd:eaglewhistle name 'Eagle Whistle' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:eaglewhistle +hset dnd:earhornofhearing name 'Ear Horn of Hearing' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:earhornofhearing +hset dnd:earworm name 'Earworm' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:earworm +hset dnd:efreetibottle name 'Efreeti bottle' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:efreetibottle +hset dnd:efreetichain name 'Efreeti chain' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:eldercartographersglossography name 'Elder Cartographer’s Glossography' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:eldercartographersglossography +hset dnd:elementalessenceshard name 'Elemental Essence Shard' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:elementalessenceshard +hset dnd:elementalgem name 'Elemental gem' rarity 'Uncommon' price '250' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:elementalgem +hset dnd:elixirofhealth name 'Elixir of health' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:elixirofhealth +hset dnd:elvenchain name 'Elven chain' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:elvenchain +hset dnd:enduringspellbook name 'Enduring Spellbook' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:enduringspellbook +hset dnd:ephixisbowofnylea name 'Ephixis Bow of Nylea' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ersatzeye name 'Ersatz Eye' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:ersatzeye +hset dnd:everbrightlantern name 'Everbright Lantern' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:everbrightlantern +hset dnd:eversmokingbottle name 'Eversmoking bottle' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:eversmokingbottle +hset dnd:eyesofcharming name 'Eyes of charming' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:eyesofcharming +hset dnd:eyesofminuteseeing name 'Eyes of minute seeing' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:eyesofminuteseeing +hset dnd:eyesoftheeagle name 'Eyes of the eagle' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:eyesoftheeagle +hset dnd:failedexperimentwand name 'Failed Experiment Wand' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:failedexperimentwand +hset dnd:faneeater name 'Fane-Eater' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'Weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:fargear name 'Far Gear' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:fargear +hset dnd:farrealmshard name 'Far Realm Shard' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:farrealmshard +hset dnd:featherfalltoken name 'Feather Fall Token' rarity 'Common' price '25' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:featherfalltoken +hset dnd:featherofdiatrymasummoning name 'Feather of Diatryma Summoning' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:featherofdiatrymasummoning +hset dnd:feathertoken name 'Feather Token' rarity 'Rare' price '3500' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:feathertoken +hset dnd:feywildshard name 'Feywild Shard' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:feywildshard +hset dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerbronzegriffon name 'Figurine of wondrous power (bronze griffon)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerbronzegriffon +hset dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerebonyfly name 'Figurine of wondrous power (ebony fly)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerebonyfly +hset dnd:figurineofwondrouspowergoldenlions name 'Figurine of wondrous power (golden lions)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:figurineofwondrouspowergoldenlions +hset dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerivorygoats name 'Figurine of wondrous power (ivory goats)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerivorygoats +hset dnd:figurineofwondrouspowermarbleelephant name 'Figurine of wondrous power (marble elephant)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:figurineofwondrouspowermarbleelephant +hset dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerobsidiansteed name 'Figurine of wondrous power (obsidian steed)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerobsidiansteed +hset dnd:figurineofwondrouspoweronyxdog name 'Figurine of wondrous power (onyx dog)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:figurineofwondrouspoweronyxdog +hset dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerserpentineowl name 'Figurine of wondrous power (serpentine owl)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:figurineofwondrouspowerserpentineowl +hset dnd:figurineofwondrouspowersilverraven name 'Figurine of wondrous power (silver raven)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:figurineofwondrouspowersilverraven +hset dnd:findersgoggles name 'Finders Goggles' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:findersgoggles +hset dnd:flailoftiamat name 'Flail of Tiamat' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:flametongue name 'Flame tongue' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:flametongue +hset dnd:flyingchariot name 'Flying Chariot' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:flyingchariot +hset dnd:fochlucanbandore name 'Fochlucan Bandore' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:fochlucanbandore +hset dnd:foldingboat name 'Folding boat' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:foldingboat +hset dnd:frostbrand name 'Frost brand' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:frostbrand +hset dnd:fulminatingtreatise name 'Fulminating Treatise' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:fulminatingtreatise +hset dnd:galdersbubblepipe name 'Galder’s Bubble Pipe' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:galdersbubblepipe +hset dnd:gamblersblade name 'Gambler’s Blade' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:gamblersblade +hset dnd:gauntletsofflamingfury name 'Gauntlets of Flaming Fury ' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:gauntletsofflamingfury +hset dnd:gauntletsofogrepower name 'Gauntlets of ogre power' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:gauntletsofogrepower +hset dnd:gavelofthevennrune name 'Gavel of the Venn Rune' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:gavelofthevennrune +hset dnd:gemofbrightness name 'Gem of brightness' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:gemofbrightness +hset dnd:gemofseeing name 'Gem of seeing' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:gemofseeing +hset dnd:ghostlantern name 'Ghost Lantern' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ghostlantern +hset dnd:giantslayer name 'Giant slayer' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:giantslayer +hset dnd:glamerweave name 'Glamerweave' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:glamerweave +hset dnd:glamerweaveuncommon name 'Glamerweave (Uncommon)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:glamerweaveuncommon +hset dnd:glamouredstuddedleather name 'Glamoured studded leather' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:glamouredstuddedleather +hset dnd:glovesofmissilesnaring name 'Gloves of missile snaring' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:glovesofmissilesnaring +hset dnd:glovesofswimmingandclimbing name 'Gloves of swimming and climbing' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:glovesofswimmingandclimbing +hset dnd:glovesofthievery name 'Gloves of thievery' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:glovesofthievery +hset dnd:gnomengardegrenade name 'Gnomengarde Grenade' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:gnomengardegrenade +hset dnd:gogglesofnight name 'Goggles of night' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:gogglesofnight +hset dnd:gogglesofobjectreading name 'Goggles of Object Reading' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:gogglesofobjectreading +hset dnd:greatersilversword name 'Greater Silver Sword' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:greendragonmask name 'Green Dragon Mask' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:guardianemblem name 'Guardian Emblem' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:guardianemblem +hset dnd:guildkeyruneazorius name 'Guild Keyrune (Azorius)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:guildkeyruneazorius +hset dnd:guildkeyruneboros name 'Guild Keyrune (Boros)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:guildkeyruneboros +hset dnd:guildkeyrunedimir name 'Guild Keyrune (Dimir)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:guildkeyrunedimir +hset dnd:guildkeyrunegolgari name 'Guild Keyrune (Golgari)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:guildkeyrunegolgari +hset dnd:guildkeyrunegruul name 'Guild Keyrune (Gruul)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:guildkeyrunegruul +hset dnd:guildkeyruneizzet name 'Guild Keyrune (Izzet)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:guildkeyruneizzet +hset dnd:guildkeyruneorzhov name 'Guild Keyrune (Orzhov)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:guildkeyruneorzhov +hset dnd:guildkeyrunerakdos name 'Guild Keyrune (Rakdos)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:guildkeyrunerakdos +hset dnd:guildkeyruneselesnya name 'Guild Keyrune (Selesnya)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:guildkeyruneselesnya +hset dnd:guildkeyrunesimic name 'Guild Keyrune (Simic)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:guildkeyrunesimic +hset dnd:guildsignet name 'Guild Signet' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:guildsignet +hset dnd:gulthiasstaff name 'Gulthias Staff' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:gulthiasstaff +hset dnd:gurtsgreataxe name 'Gurt’s Greataxe' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:hammerofthunderbolts name 'Hammer of thunderbolts' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:hatofdisguise name 'Hat of disguise' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:hatofdisguise +hset dnd:hatofvermin name 'Hat of Vermin' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:hatofvermin +hset dnd:hatofwizardry name 'Hat of Wizardry' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:hatofwizardry +hset dnd:hazirawn name 'Hazirawn' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:headbandofintellect name 'Headband of intellect' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:headbandofintellect +hset dnd:heartweaversprimer name 'Heart Weaver’s Primer' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:heartweaversprimer +hset dnd:hellfireweapon name 'Hellfire Weapon' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:hellfireweapon +hset dnd:hellhoundcloak name 'Hellhound Cloak' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:hellhoundcloak +hset dnd:helmofbrilliance name 'Helm of brilliance' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:helmofbrilliance +hset dnd:helmofcomprehendinglanguages name 'Helm of comprehending languages' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:helmofcomprehendinglanguages +hset dnd:helmofdevilcommand name 'Helm of Devil Command' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:helmofdevilcommand +hset dnd:helmoftelepathy name 'Helm of telepathy' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:helmoftelepathy +hset dnd:helmofteleportation name 'Helm of teleportation' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:helmofteleportation +hset dnd:helmofthegods name 'Helm of the Gods' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:helmofthegods +hset dnd:helmofthescavenger name 'Helm of the Scavenger' rarity 'Legendary' price '300000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:helmofunderwateraction name 'Helm of Underwater Action' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:helmofunderwateraction +hset dnd:hew name 'Hew' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:hew +hset dnd:hewardshirelingarmor name 'Hewards Hireling Armor' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:hewardshirelingarmor +hset dnd:hewardshandyhaversack name 'Heward’s handy haversack' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:hewardshandyhaversack +hset dnd:hewardshandyspicepouch name 'Heward’s Handy Spice Pouch' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:hewardshandyspicepouch +hset dnd:holyavenger name 'Holy avenger' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:holysymbolofravenkind name 'Holy Symbol of Ravenkind' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:holysymbolofravenkind +hset dnd:hookoffishersdelight name 'Hook of Fishers Delight' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:hookoffishersdelight +hset dnd:hornofblasting name 'Horn of blasting' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:hornofblasting +hset dnd:hornofsilentalarm name 'Horn of Silent Alarm' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:hornofsilentalarm +hset dnd:hornofvalhallabrass name 'Horn of valhalla (brass)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:hornofvalhallabrass +hset dnd:hornofvalhallabronze name 'Horn of valhalla (bronze)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:hornofvalhallabronze +hset dnd:hornofvalhallairon name 'Horn of valhalla (iron)' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:hornofvalhallasilver name 'Horn of valhalla (silver)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:hornofvalhallasilver +hset dnd:hornedring name 'Horned Ring' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:hornedring +hset dnd:horseshoesofazephyr name 'Horseshoes of a zephyr' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:horseshoesofazephyr +hset dnd:horseshoesofspeed name 'Horseshoes of speed' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:horseshoesofspeed +hset dnd:hunterscoat name 'Hunters Coat' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:hunterscoat +hset dnd:iconofravenloft name 'Icon of Ravenloft' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:illusionistsbracers name 'Illusionists Bracers' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:illusionistsbracers +hset dnd:imbuedwood name 'Imbued Wood' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:imbuedwood +hset dnd:immovablerod name 'Immovable rod' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:immovablerod +hset dnd:infernalpuzzlebox name 'Infernal Puzzle Box' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:infernalpuzzlebox +hset dnd:infernaltack name 'Infernal Tack' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ingotoftheskoldrune name 'Ingot of the Skold Rune ' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:ingotoftheskoldrune +hset dnd:inquisitivesgoggles name 'Inquisitive’s Goggles' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:inquisitivesgoggles +hset dnd:insigniaofclaws1 name 'Insignia of Claws +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:insigniaofclaws1 +hset dnd:insigniaofclaws2 name 'Insignia of Claws +2' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:insigniaofclaws2 +hset dnd:insigniaofclaws3 name 'Insignia of Claws +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:insigniaofclaws3 +hset dnd:instrumentofillusions name 'Instrument of Illusions ' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:instrumentofillusions +hset dnd:instrumentofscribing name 'Instrument of Scribing' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:instrumentofscribing +hset dnd:iounstoneabsorption name 'Ioun stone (absorption)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:iounstoneabsorption +hset dnd:iounstoneagility name 'Ioun stone (agility)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:iounstoneagility +hset dnd:iounstoneawareness name 'Ioun stone (awareness)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstoneawareness +hset dnd:iounstonefortitude name 'Ioun stone (fortitude)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:iounstonefortitude +hset dnd:iounstonegreaterabsorption name 'Ioun stone (greater absorption)' rarity 'Legendary' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:iounstonehistoricalknowledge name 'Ioun stone (Historical Knowledge)' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstonehistoricalknowledge +hset dnd:iounstoneinsight name 'Ioun stone (insight)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:iounstoneinsight +hset dnd:iounstoneintellect name 'Ioun stone (intellect)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:iounstoneintellect +hset dnd:iounstonelanguageknowledge name 'Ioun stone (Language Knowledge)' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstonelanguageknowledge +hset dnd:iounstoneleadership name 'Ioun stone (leadership)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:iounstoneleadership +hset dnd:iounstonemastery name 'Ioun stone (mastery)' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:iounstonenaturalknowledge name 'Ioun stone (Natural Knowledge)' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstonenaturalknowledge +hset dnd:iounstoneprotection name 'Ioun stone (protection)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstoneprotection +hset dnd:iounstoneregeneration name 'Ioun stone (regeneration)' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:iounstonereligiousknowledge name 'Ioun stone (Religious Knowledge)' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstonereligiousknowledge +hset dnd:iounstonereserve name 'Ioun stone (reserve)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstonereserve +hset dnd:iounstoneselfpreservation name 'Ioun stone (Self-Preservation)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstoneselfpreservation +hset dnd:iounstonestrength name 'Ioun stone (strength)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:iounstonestrength +hset dnd:iounstonesupremeintellect name 'Ioun stone (Supreme Intellect)' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstonesupremeintellect +hset dnd:iounstonesustenance name 'Ioun stone (sustenance)' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:iounstonesustenance +hset dnd:iounstonevitality name 'Ioun stone (Vitality)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:iounstonevitality +hset dnd:ironbandsofbilarro name 'Iron bands of bilarro' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ironbandsofbilarro +hset dnd:ironfang name 'Iron Fang' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ironflask name 'Iron flask' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:javelinofbackbiting name 'Javelin of Backbiting' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:javelinofbackbiting +hset dnd:javelinoflightning name 'Javelin of lightning' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:javelinoflightning +hset dnd:keoghtomsointment name 'Keoghtom’s ointment' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:keoghtomsointment +hset dnd:keycharm name 'Keycharm' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:keycharm +hset dnd:khrusorspearofheliod name 'Khrusor Spear of Heliod' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:knaveseyepatch name 'Knave’s Eye Patch' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:knaveseyepatch +hset dnd:korolnorscepter name 'Korolnor Scepter' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:kyrzinsooze name 'Kyrzins Ooze' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:kyrzinsooze +hset dnd:lanternofrevealing name 'Lantern of revealing' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:lanternofrevealing +hset dnd:lanternoftracking name 'Lantern of Tracking' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:lanternoftracking +hset dnd:laststandarmor name 'Last Stand Armor' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:laststandarmor +hset dnd:leathergolemarmor name 'Leather Golem Armor' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:leathergolemarmor +hset dnd:libramofsoulsandflesh name 'Libram of Souls and Flesh ' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:libramofsoulsandflesh +hset dnd:lightbringer name 'Lightbringer' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:lightbringer +hset dnd:livingarmor name 'Living Armor' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:livingarmor +hset dnd:livinggloves name 'Living Gloves' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:livinggloves +hset dnd:livinglootsatchelrank2 name 'Living Loot Satchel (Rank 2)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:livinglootsatchelrank2 +hset dnd:livinglootsatchelrank3 name 'Living Loot Satchel (Rank 3)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:livinglootsatchelrank3 +hset dnd:livinglootsatchelrank4 name 'Living Loot Satchel (Rank 4)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:livinglootsatchelrank4 +hset dnd:loadstone name 'Loadstone' rarity 'Rare' price '2000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:loadstone +hset dnd:lockoftrickery name 'Lock of Trickery' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:lockoftrickery +hset dnd:lordsensemble name 'Lord’s Ensemble ' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:lordsensemble +hset dnd:lostcrownofbesilmer name 'Lost Crown of Besilmer' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:luckbladewithwishes name 'Luck blade (with wishes)' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:luckbladewithoutwishes name 'Luck blade (Without wishes)' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:luxonbeacon name 'Luxon Beacon' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:lyreofbuilding name 'Lyre of Building' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:lyreofbuilding +hset dnd:mabaranresonator name 'Mabaran Resonator ' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:macfuirmidhcittern name 'Mac-Fuirmidh Cittern' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:macfuirmidhcittern +hset dnd:maceofdisruption name 'Mace of disruption' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:maceofdisruption +hset dnd:maceofsmiting name 'Mace of smiting' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:maceofsmiting +hset dnd:maceofterror name 'Mace of terror' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:maceofterror +hset dnd:mantleofspellresistance name 'Mantle of spell resistance' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:mantleofspellresistance +hset dnd:manualofbodilyhealth name 'Manual of bodily health' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:manualofbodilyhealth +hset dnd:manualofgainfulexercise name 'Manual of gainful exercise' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:manualofgainfulexercise +hset dnd:manualofgolems name 'Manual of golems' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:manualofgolems +hset dnd:manualofquicknessofaction name 'Manual of quickness of action' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:manualofquicknessofaction +hset dnd:manyhandedpouch name 'Many-Handed Pouch' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:manyhandedpouch +hset dnd:marinersarmor name 'Mariner’s armor' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:marinersarmor +hset dnd:maskofthebeast name 'Mask of the Beast' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:maskofthebeast +hset dnd:maskofthedragonqueen name 'Mask of the Dragon Queen' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:masterscall name 'Masters Call' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:mastersamulet name 'Master’s Amulet' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:mastersamulet +hset dnd:mastixwhipoferebos name 'Mastix Whip of Erebos' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:matalotok name 'Matalotok' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:medallionofthoughts name 'Medallion of thoughts' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:medallionofthoughts +hset dnd:mindblade name 'Mind Blade' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:mindblade +hset dnd:mindcarapacearmor name 'Mind Carapace Armor' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:mindcarapacearmor +hset dnd:mindlash name 'Mind Lash' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:mindlash +hset dnd:mirroroflifetrapping name 'Mirror of life trapping' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:mirroroflifetrapping +hset dnd:mirrorofthepast name 'Mirror of the Past' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:mirrorofthepast +hset dnd:mithralarmor name 'Mithral armor' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:mithralarmor +hset dnd:mithralhalfplate1 name 'Mithral Half Plate +1' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:mithralhalfplate1 +hset dnd:mizziumapparatus name 'Mizzium Apparatus' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:mizziumapparatus +hset dnd:mizziumarmor name 'Mizzium Armor' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:mizziumarmor +hset dnd:mizziummortar name 'Mizzium Mortar' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:mizziummortar +hset dnd:moltenbronzeskin name 'Molten Bronze Skin' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:moltenbronzeskin +hset dnd:mommyrotantidote name 'Mommy Rot Antidote' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'Potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:mommyrotantidote +hset dnd:moodmarkpaint name 'Moodmark Paint' rarity 'Common' price '25' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:moodmarkpaint +hset dnd:moonsickle1 name 'Moon Sickle +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:moonsickle1 +hset dnd:moonsickle2 name 'Moon Sickle +2' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:moonsickle2 +hset dnd:moonsickle3 name 'Moon Sickle +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:moonsickle3 +hset dnd:moontouchedsword name 'Moon-Touched Sword' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:moontouchedsword +hset dnd:mysterykey name 'Mystery Key' rarity 'Common' price '25' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:mysterykey +hset dnd:naturesmantle name 'Natures Mantle' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:naturesmantle +hset dnd:navigationorb name 'Navigation Orb' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:navigationorb +hset dnd:necklaceofadaptation name 'Necklace of adaptation' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:necklaceofadaptation +hset dnd:necklaceoffireballs name 'Necklace of fireballs' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:necklaceoffireballs +hset dnd:necklaceofprayerbeads name 'Necklace of prayer beads' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:necklaceofprayerbeads +hset dnd:needleofmending name 'Needle of Mending' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:needleofmending +hset dnd:nightcaller name 'Night Caller' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:nightcaller +hset dnd:nightfallpearl name 'Nightfall Pearl' rarity 'Legendary' price '300000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ninelivesstealer name 'Nine lives stealer' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:ninelivesstealer +hset dnd:nolzursmarvelouspigments name 'Nolzur’s marvelous pigments' rarity 'Very Rare' price '20000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:nolzursmarvelouspigments +hset dnd:oathbow name 'Oathbow' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:oathbow +hset dnd:obsidianflintdragonplate name 'Obsidian Flint Dragon Plate' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:obviatorslensesrank2 name 'Obviator’s Lenses (Rank 2)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:obviatorslensesrank2 +hset dnd:obviatorslensesrank4 name 'Obviator’s Lenses (Rank 4)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:obviatorslensesrank4 +hset dnd:occultantabacusrank1 name 'Occultant Abacus (Rank 1)' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:occultantabacusrank1 +hset dnd:occultantabacusrank2 name 'Occultant Abacus (Rank 2)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:occultantabacusrank2 +hset dnd:occultantabacusrank3 name 'Occultant Abacus (Rank 3)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:occultantabacusrank3 +hset dnd:oilofetherealness name 'Oil of etherealness' rarity 'Rare' price '2000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:oilofetherealness +hset dnd:oilofsharpness name 'Oil of sharpness' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:oilofsharpness +hset dnd:oilofslipperiness name 'Oil of slipperiness' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:oilofslipperiness +hset dnd:ollamhharp name 'Ollamh Harp' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:opaloftheildrune name 'Opal of the Ild Rune' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:opaloftheildrune +hset dnd:orbofdirection name 'Orb of Direction' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:orbofdirection +hset dnd:orbofgonging name 'Orb of Gonging' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:orbofgonging +hset dnd:orbofshielding name 'Orb of Shielding' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:orbofshielding +hset dnd:orbofthesteinrune name 'Orb of the Stein Rune' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:orbofthesteinrune +hset dnd:orboftheveil name 'Orb of the Veil' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:orboftheveil +hset dnd:orboftime name 'Orb of Time' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:orboftime +hset dnd:outeressenceshard name 'Outer Essence Shard' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:outeressenceshard +hset dnd:paperbird name 'Paper bird' rarity 'Uncommon' price '150' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:paperbird +hset dnd:pariahsshield name 'Pariah’s Shield' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:pariahsshield +hset dnd:pearlofpower name 'Pearl of power' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:pearlofpower +hset dnd:pennantofthevindrune name 'Pennant of the Vind Rune' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:pennantofthevindrune +hset dnd:peregrinemask name 'Peregrine Mask' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:peregrinemask +hset dnd:perfumeofbewitching name 'Perfume of Bewitching' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:perfumeofbewitching +hset dnd:periaptofhealth name 'Periapt of health' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:periaptofhealth +hset dnd:periaptofproofagainstpoison name 'Periapt of proof against poison' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:periaptofproofagainstpoison +hset dnd:periaptofwoundclosure name 'Periapt of wound closure' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:periaptofwoundclosure +hset dnd:philteroflove name 'Philter of love' rarity 'Uncommon' price '150' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:philteroflove +hset dnd:piercer name 'Piercer' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:piercer +hset dnd:pipeofremembrance name 'Pipe of Remembrance' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:pipeofremembrance +hset dnd:pipeofsmokemonsters name 'Pipe of Smoke Monsters' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:pipeofsmokemonsters +hset dnd:pipesofhaunting name 'Pipes of haunting' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:pipesofhaunting +hset dnd:pipesofthesewers name 'Pipes of the sewers' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:pipesofthesewers +hset dnd:piwafwicloakofelvenkind name 'Piwafwi (Cloak of Elvenkind)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:piwafwicloakofelvenkind +hset dnd:piwafwioffireresistance name 'Piwafwi of Fire Resistance' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:piwafwioffireresistance +hset dnd:planecallerscodex name 'Planecaller’s Codex' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:planecallerscodex +hset dnd:platearmorofetherealness name 'Plate armor of etherealness' rarity 'Legendary' price '300000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:poleofangling name 'Pole of Angling' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:poleofangling +hset dnd:poleofcollapsing name 'Pole of Collapsing' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:poleofcollapsing +hset dnd:polymorphblade name 'Polymorph Blade' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:polymorphblade +hset dnd:portablehole name 'Portable hole' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:portablehole +hset dnd:portfoliokeeperrank2 name 'Portfolio Keeper (Rank 2)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:portfoliokeeperrank2 +hset dnd:portfoliokeeperrank3 name 'Portfolio Keeper (Rank 3)' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:portfoliokeeperrank3 +hset dnd:portfoliokeeperrank4 name 'Portfolio Keeper (Rank 4)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:portfoliokeeperrank4 +hset dnd:potofawakening name 'Pot of Awakening' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:potofawakening +hset dnd:potionofanimalfriendship name 'Potion of animal friendship' rarity 'Uncommon' price '150' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:potionofanimalfriendship +hset dnd:potionofaqueousform name 'Potion of Aqueous Form' rarity 'Rare' price '2000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofaqueousform +hset dnd:potionofclairvoyance name 'Potion of clairvoyance' rarity 'Rare' price '2000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofclairvoyance +hset dnd:potionofclimbing name 'Potion of climbing' rarity 'Common' price '25' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:potionofclimbing +hset dnd:potionofdiminution name 'Potion of diminution' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofdiminution +hset dnd:potionoffirebreath name 'Potion of Fire Breath' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:potionoffirebreath +hset dnd:potionofflying name 'Potion of Flying' rarity 'Very Rare' price '30000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:potionofflying +hset dnd:potionofgaseousform name 'Potion of Gaseous Form' rarity 'Rare' price '2000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofgaseousform +hset dnd:potionofgiansize name 'Potion of Gian Size' rarity 'Legendary' price '100000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:potionofgiantstrengthcloudgiant name 'Potion of giant strength (cloud giant)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:potionofgiantstrengthcloudgiant +hset dnd:potionofgiantstrengthfiregiant name 'Potion of giant strength (fire giant)' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofgiantstrengthfiregiant +hset dnd:potionofgiantstrengthfrostorstonegiant name 'Potion of giant strength (frost or stone giant)' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofgiantstrengthfrostorstonegiant +hset dnd:potionofgiantstrengthhillgiant name 'Potion of giant strength (hill giant)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:potionofgiantstrengthhillgiant +hset dnd:potionofgiantstrengthstormgiant name 'Potion of giant strength (storm giant)' rarity 'Legendary' price '100000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:potionofgrowth name 'Potion of growth' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:potionofgrowth +hset dnd:potionofhealing name 'Potion of healing' rarity 'Common' price '50' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:potionofhealing +hset dnd:potionofhealinggreater name 'Potion of healing (greater)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:potionofhealinggreater +hset dnd:potionofhealingsuperiour name 'Potion of healing (superiour)' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofhealingsuperiour +hset dnd:potionofhealingsupreme name 'Potion of healing (supreme)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:potionofhealingsupreme +hset dnd:potionofheroism name 'Potion of heroism' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofheroism +hset dnd:potionofinvisibility name 'Potion of invisibility' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:potionofinvisibility +hset dnd:potionofinvulnerability name 'Potion of invulnerability' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofinvulnerability +hset dnd:potionoflongevity name 'Potion of longevity' rarity 'Very Rare' price '20000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:potionoflongevity +hset dnd:potionofmaximumpower name 'Potion of Maximum Power' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofmaximumpower +hset dnd:potionofmindcontrolbeastperson name 'Potion of Mind Control (beast/person)' rarity 'Rare' price '3500' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofmindcontrolbeastperson +hset dnd:potionofmindcontrolmonster name 'Potion of Mind Control (monster)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '30000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:potionofmindcontrolmonster +hset dnd:potionofmindreading name 'Potion of mind reading' rarity 'Rare' price '3500' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:potionofmindreading +hset dnd:potionofpoison name 'Potion of poison' rarity 'Uncommon' price '150' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:potionofpoison +hset dnd:potionofpossibility name 'Potion of Possibility' rarity 'Very Rare' price '30000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:potionofpossibility +hset dnd:potionofresistance name 'Potion of resistance' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:potionofresistance +hset dnd:potionofspeed name 'Potion of speed' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:potionofspeed +hset dnd:potionofvitality name 'Potion of vitality' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:potionofvitality +hset dnd:potionofwaterbreathing name 'Potion of water breathing' rarity 'Uncommon' price '150' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:potionofwaterbreathing +hset dnd:poweredarmor name 'Powered Armor' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:pressurecapsule name 'Pressure Capsule' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:pressurecapsule +hset dnd:professororb name 'Professor Orb' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:professororb +hset dnd:propellorhelm name 'Propellor Helm' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:propellorhelm +hset dnd:prostheticlimb name 'Prosthetic Limb' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:prostheticlimb +hset dnd:protectiveverses name 'Protective Verses' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:protectiveverses +hset dnd:psicrystal name 'Psi Crystal' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:psicrystal +hset dnd:pyroconverger name 'Pyroconverger' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:pyroconverger +hset dnd:pyxisofpandemonium name 'Pyxis of Pandemonium' rarity 'Legendary' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:quaalsfeathertoken name 'Quaal’s feather token' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:quaalsfeathertoken +hset dnd:quiverofehlonna name 'Quiver of Ehlonna' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:quiverofehlonna +hset dnd:radiantweapon name 'Radiant Weapon' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:radiantweapon +hset dnd:rakdosriteknife name 'Rakdos Riteknife' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:reddragonmask name 'Red Dragon Mask' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:reincarnationdust name 'Reincarnation Dust' rarity 'Very Rare' price '30000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:reincarnationdust +hset dnd:returningweapon name 'Returning Weapon' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:returningweapon +hset dnd:revelersconcertina name 'Reveler’s Concertina' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:revelersconcertina +hset dnd:revenantdoublebladedscimitar name 'Revenant Double Bladed Scimitar' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:revenantdoublebladedscimitar +hset dnd:rhythmmakersdrum1 name 'Rhythm-Makers Drum +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:rhythmmakersdrum1 +hset dnd:rhythmmakersdrum2 name 'Rhythm-Makers Drum +2' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:rhythmmakersdrum2 +hset dnd:rhythmmakersdrum3 name 'Rhythm-Makers Drum +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:rhythmmakersdrum3 +hset dnd:ringofanimalinfluence name 'Ring of animal influence' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringofanimalinfluence +hset dnd:ringofdjinnisummoning name 'Ring of djinni summoning' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ringofelementalcommand name 'Ring of elemental command' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ringofevasion name 'Ring of evasion' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringofevasion +hset dnd:ringoffeatherfalling name 'Ring of feather falling' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringoffeatherfalling +hset dnd:ringoffreeaction name 'Ring of free action' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringoffreeaction +hset dnd:ringofinvisibility name 'Ring of invisibility' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ringofjumping name 'Ring of jumping' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ringofjumping +hset dnd:ringofmindshielding name 'Ring of mind shielding' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ringofmindshielding +hset dnd:ringofobscuring name 'Ring of Obscuring' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ringofobscuring +hset dnd:ringofprotection name 'Ring of protection' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringofprotection +hset dnd:ringofregeneration name 'Ring of regeneration' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:ringofregeneration +hset dnd:ringofresistance name 'Ring of resistance' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringofresistance +hset dnd:ringofshootingstars name 'Ring of shooting stars' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:ringofshootingstars +hset dnd:ringofspellstoring name 'Ring of spell storing' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringofspellstoring +hset dnd:ringofspellturning name 'Ring of spell turning' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ringofswimming name 'Ring of swimming' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ringofswimming +hset dnd:ringoftelekinesis name 'Ring of telekinesis' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:ringoftelekinesis +hset dnd:ringoftemporalsalvation name 'Ring of Temporal Salvation' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringoftemporalsalvation +hset dnd:ringoftheram name 'Ring of the ram' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringoftheram +hset dnd:ringofthreewishes name 'Ring of three wishes' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ringoftruthtelling name 'Ring of Truth Telling' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ringoftruthtelling +hset dnd:ringofwarmth name 'Ring of warmth' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ringofwarmth +hset dnd:ringofwaterwalking name 'Ring of water walking' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ringofwaterwalking +hset dnd:ringofxrayvision name 'Ring of x-ray vision' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ringofxrayvision +hset dnd:ringsofsharedsuffering name 'Rings of Shared Suffering' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1600' type 'ring' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ringsofsharedsuffering +hset dnd:robeofeyes name 'Robe of eyes' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:robeofeyes +hset dnd:robeofscintillatingcolors name 'Robe of scintillating colors' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:robeofscintillatingcolors +hset dnd:robeofserpents name 'Robe of Serpents' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:robeofserpents +hset dnd:robeofstars name 'Robe of stars' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:robeofstars +hset dnd:robeofsummer name 'Robe of Summer' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:robeofsummer +hset dnd:robeofthearchmagi name 'Robe of the Archmagi' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:robeofusefulitems name 'Robe of Useful Items' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:robeofusefulitems +hset dnd:rodofabsorption name 'Rod of Absorption' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:rodofabsorption +hset dnd:rodofalertness name 'Rod of Alertness' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:rodofalertness +hset dnd:rodoflordlymight name 'Rod of Lordly Might' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:rodofresurrection name 'Rod of Resurrection' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:rodofretribution name 'Rod of Retribution' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:rodofretribution +hset dnd:rodofrulership name 'Rod of rulership' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:rodofrulership +hset dnd:rodofsecurity name 'Rod of security' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:rodofsecurity +hset dnd:rodofthepactkeeper1 name 'Rod of the pact keeper +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:rodofthepactkeeper1 +hset dnd:rodofthepactkeeper2 name 'Rod of the pact keeper +2' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:rodofthepactkeeper2 +hset dnd:rodofthepactkeeper3 name 'Rod of the pact keeper +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:rodofthepactkeeper3 +hset dnd:rodofthevonindod name 'Rod of the Vonindod' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:rodofthevonindod +hset dnd:ropeofclimbing name 'Rope of climbing' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:ropeofclimbing +hset dnd:ropeofentanglement name 'Rope of entanglement' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:ropeofentanglement +hset dnd:ropeofmending name 'Rope of Mending' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:ropeofmending +hset dnd:rotorofreturn name 'Rotor of Return' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:rotorofreturn +hset dnd:rubyofthewarmage name 'Ruby of the War Mage' rarity 'Common' price '400' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:rubyofthewarmage +hset dnd:ruinblade name 'Ruinblade' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:saddleofthecavalier name 'Saddle of the cavalier' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:saddleofthecavalier +hset dnd:saintmarkoviasthighbone name 'Saint Markovias Thighbone' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:saintmarkoviasthighbone +hset dnd:scarabofprotection name 'Scarab of protection' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:scimitarofspeed name 'Scimitar of speed' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:scimitarofspeed +hset dnd:scorpionarmour name 'Scorpion Armour' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:scorpionarmour +hset dnd:scribespen name 'Scribes Pen' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:scribespen +hset dnd:scrollofprotection name 'Scroll of protection' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:scrollofprotection +hset dnd:scrolloftarrasquesummoning name 'Scroll of Tarrasque Summoning' rarity 'Legendary' price '125000' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:scrollofthecomet name 'Scroll of the Comet' rarity 'Legendary' price '100000' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:seekerdart name 'Seeker Dart' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:seekerdart +hset dnd:sekolahianworshipingstatuette name 'Sekolahian Worshiping Statuette' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:sekolahianworshipingstatuette +hset dnd:sendingstones name 'Sending Stones' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:sendingstones +hset dnd:sentinelshield name 'Sentinel Shield' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:sentinelshield +hset dnd:shadowfellshard name 'Shadowfell Shard' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:shadowfellshard +hset dnd:shardoftheiserune name 'Shard of the Ise Rune ' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:shardoftheiserune +hset dnd:shatterspike name 'Shatterspike' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:shatterspike +hset dnd:shield1 name 'Shield +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:shield1 +hset dnd:shield2 name 'Shield +2' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:shield2 +hset dnd:shield3 name 'Shield +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:shield3 +hset dnd:shieldofexpression name 'Shield of Expression' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:shieldofexpression +hset dnd:shieldoffarsight name 'Shield of Farsight' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:shieldoffarsight +hset dnd:shieldofmissileattraction name 'Shield of Missile Attraction' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:shieldofmissileattraction +hset dnd:shieldofthehiddenlord name 'Shield of the Hidden Lord' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:shieldoftheuvenrune name 'Shield of the Uven Rune' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:shieldoftheuvenrune +hset dnd:shiftweave name 'Shiftweave' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:shiftweave +hset dnd:skyblinderstaff name 'Skyblinder Staff' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:skyblinderstaff +hset dnd:skyblinderstaff name 'Skyblinder Staff' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:skyblinderstaff +hset dnd:slingbulletsofalthemone name 'Sling Bullets of Althemone' rarity 'Very Rare' price '30000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:slingbulletsofalthemone +hset dnd:slippersofspiderclimbing name 'Slippers of spider climbing' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:slippersofspiderclimbing +hset dnd:smokepowder name 'Smokepowder' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:smokepowder +hset dnd:smolderingarmor name 'Smoldering Armor' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:smolderingarmor +hset dnd:soulcoin name 'Soul Coin' rarity 'Uncommon' price '' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:soulcoin +hset dnd:sovereignglue name 'Sovereign glue' rarity 'Legendary' price '75000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:speakingstone name 'Speaking Stone' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:speakingstone +hset dnd:spearofbackbiting name 'Spear of Backbiting' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:spearofbackbiting +hset dnd:spellbottle name 'Spell Bottle' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:spellgemamber name 'Spell Gem (Amber)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '20000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:spellgemamber +hset dnd:spellgembloodstone name 'Spell Gem (Bloodstone)' rarity 'Rare' price '3500' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:spellgembloodstone +hset dnd:spellgemdiamond name 'Spell Gem (Diamond)' rarity 'Legendary' price '125000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:spellgemjade name 'Spell Gem (Jade)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:spellgemjade +hset dnd:spellgemlapislazuli name 'Spell Gem (Lapis Lazuli)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '250' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:spellgemlapislazuli +hset dnd:spellgemobsidian name 'Spell Gem (Obsidian)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:spellgemobsidian +hset dnd:spellgemquartz name 'Spell Gem (Quartz)' rarity 'Rare' price '2750' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:spellgemquartz +hset dnd:spellgemruby name 'Spell Gem (Ruby)' rarity 'Legendary' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:spellgemstarruby name 'Spell Gem (Star Ruby)' rarity 'Legendary' price '75000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:spellgemtopaz name 'Spell Gem (Topaz)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '30000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:spellgemtopaz +hset dnd:spellscroll1stlevel name 'Spell scroll (1st level)' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:spellscroll1stlevel +hset dnd:spellscroll2ndlevel name 'Spell scroll (2nd level)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '150' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:spellscroll2ndlevel +hset dnd:spellscroll3rdlevel name 'Spell scroll (3rd level)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '250' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:spellscroll3rdlevel +hset dnd:spellscroll4thlevel name 'Spell scroll (4th level)' rarity 'Rare' price '2000' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:spellscroll4thlevel +hset dnd:spellscroll5thlevel name 'Spell scroll (5th level)' rarity 'Rare' price '3500' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:spellscroll5thlevel +hset dnd:spellscroll6thlevel name 'Spell scroll (6th level)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '20000' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:spellscroll6thlevel +hset dnd:spellscroll7thlevel name 'Spell scroll (7th level)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '25000' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:spellscroll7thlevel +hset dnd:spellscroll8thlevel name 'Spell scroll (8th level)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '30000' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:spellscroll8thlevel +hset dnd:spellscroll9thlevel name 'Spell scroll (9th level)' rarity 'Legendary' price '100000' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:spellscrollcantrip name 'Spell scroll (cantrip)' rarity 'Common' price '25' type 'scroll' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:spellscrollcantrip +hset dnd:spellsink name 'Spell Sink' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:spellguardshield name 'Spellguard shield' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'armor' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:spellguardshield +hset dnd:spellshard name 'Spellshard' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:spellshard +hset dnd:sphereofannihilation name 'Sphere of annihilation' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:spiderstaff name 'Spider Staff' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:spiderstaff +hset dnd:spiesmurmur name 'Spies Murmur' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:spiesmurmur +hset dnd:spyglassofclairvoyance name 'Spyglass of Clairvoyance' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:spyglassofclairvoyance +hset dnd:staffofadornment name 'Staff of Adornment' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:staffofadornment +hset dnd:staffofbirdcalls name 'Staff of Bird Calls' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:staffofbirdcalls +hset dnd:staffofcharming name 'Staff of charming' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:staffofcharming +hset dnd:staffofdefense name 'Staff of Defense' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:staffofdefense +hset dnd:staffofdunamancy name 'Staff of Dunamancy' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:staffofdunamancy +hset dnd:staffoffire name 'Staff of fire' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:staffoffire +hset dnd:staffofflowers name 'Staff of Flowers' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:staffofflowers +hset dnd:staffoffrost name 'Staff of frost' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:staffoffrost +hset dnd:staffofhealing name 'Staff of healing' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:staffofhealing +hset dnd:staffofpower name 'Staff of power' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:staffofpower +hset dnd:staffofstriking name 'Staff of striking' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:staffofstriking +hset dnd:staffofswarminginsects name 'Staff of swarming insects' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:staffofswarminginsects +hset dnd:staffoftheadder name 'Staff of the adder' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:staffoftheadder +hset dnd:staffoftheivoryclaw name 'Staff of the Ivory Claw' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:staffoftheivoryclaw +hset dnd:staffofthemagi name 'Staff of the magi' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:staffofthepython name 'Staff of the python' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:staffofthepython +hset dnd:staffofthewoodlands name 'Staff of the woodlands' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:staffofthewoodlands +hset dnd:staffofthunderandlightning name 'Staff of thunder and lightning' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:staffofthunderandlightning +hset dnd:staffofwithering name 'Staff of withering' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:staffofwithering +hset dnd:stoneofcontrollingearthelementals name 'Stone of controlling earth elementals' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:stoneofcontrollingearthelementals +hset dnd:stoneofgoodluckluckstone name 'Stone of good luck (luckstone)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:stoneofgoodluckluckstone +hset dnd:stoneofillluck name 'Stone of Ill Luck' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:stoneofillluck +hset dnd:stonespeakercrytsal name 'Stonespeaker Crytsal' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:stonespeakercrytsal +hset dnd:stormboomerang name 'Storm Boomerang' rarity 'Uncommon' price '200' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:stormboomerang +hset dnd:stormspire name 'Storm Spire' rarity 'Legendary' price '300000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:sunblade name 'Sun blade' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:sunblade +hset dnd:sunforger name 'Sunforger' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:sunforger +hset dnd:swordofanswering name 'Sword of answering' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:swordoflifestealing name 'Sword of life stealing' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:swordoflifestealing +hset dnd:swordofparuns name 'Sword of Paruns' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:swordofparuns +hset dnd:swordofsharpness name 'Sword of sharpness' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:swordofsharpness +hset dnd:swordofvengeance name 'Sword of vengeance' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:swordofvengeance +hset dnd:swordofwounding name 'Sword of wounding' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:swordofwounding +hset dnd:swordofzariel name 'Sword of Zariel' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:talismanofpuregood name 'Talisman of pure good' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:talismanofthesphere name 'Talisman of the sphere' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:talismanofultimateevil name 'Talisman of ultimate evil' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:tattooabsorbing name 'Tattoo Absorbing' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:tattooabsorbing +hset dnd:tattoobarrierrare name 'Tattoo Barrier (Rare)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:tattoobarrierrare +hset dnd:tattoobarrieruncommon name 'Tattoo Barrier (Uncommon)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:tattoobarrieruncommon +hset dnd:tattoobarrierveryrare name 'Tattoo Barrier (Very Rare)' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:tattoobarrierveryrare +hset dnd:tattoobloodfury name 'Tattoo Blood Fury' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:tattoocoolinggrasp name 'Tattoo Cooling Grasp' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:tattoocoolinggrasp +hset dnd:tattooeldritchclaw name 'Tattoo Eldritch Claw' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:tattooeldritchclaw +hset dnd:tattooghoststep name 'Tattoo Ghost Step' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:tattooghoststep +hset dnd:tattooilluminator name 'Tattoo Illuminator' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:tattooilluminator +hset dnd:tattoolifewell name 'Tattoo Lifewell' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:tattoolifewell +hset dnd:tattoomasquerade name 'Tattoo Masquerade' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:tattoomasquerade +hset dnd:tattooshadowfellbrand name 'Tattoo Shadowfell Brand' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:tattooshadowfellbrand +hset dnd:tattoospellwrought1stlevel name 'Tattoo Spellwrought (1st Level)' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:tattoospellwrought1stlevel +hset dnd:tattoospellwrought2ndlevel name 'Tattoo Spellwrought (2nd Level)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '150' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:tattoospellwrought2ndlevel +hset dnd:tattoospellwrought3rdlevel name 'Tattoo Spellwrought (3rd Level)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '250' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:tattoospellwrought3rdlevel +hset dnd:tattoospellwrought4thlevel name 'Tattoo Spellwrought (4th Level)' rarity 'Rare' price '2000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:tattoospellwrought4thlevel +hset dnd:tattoospellwrought5thlevel name 'Tattoo Spellwrought (5th Level)' rarity 'Rare' price '3500' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:tattoospellwrought5thlevel +hset dnd:tattoospellwroughtcantrip name 'Tattoo Spellwrought (Cantrip)' rarity 'Common' price '25' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:tattoospellwroughtcantrip +hset dnd:tentaclerod name 'Tentacle rod' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'rod' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:tentaclerod +hset dnd:thermalcube name 'Thermal Cube' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:thermalcube +hset dnd:thessaltoxinantidote name 'Thessaltoxin Antidote' rarity 'Uncommon' price '250' type 'potion' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:thessaltoxinantidote +hset dnd:timepieceoftravel name 'Timepiece of Travel' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:timepieceoftravel +hset dnd:tinderstrike name 'Tinderstrike' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:tomeofclearthought name 'Tome of clear thought' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:tomeofclearthought +hset dnd:tomeofleadershipandinfluence name 'Tome of leadership and influence' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:tomeofleadershipandinfluence +hset dnd:tomeofthestilledtongue name 'Tome of the stilled tongue' rarity 'Legendary' price '300000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:tomeofunderstanding name 'Tome of Understanding' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:tomeofunderstanding +hset dnd:travelalchemicalkit name 'Travel Alchemical Kit' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:travelalchemicalkit +hset dnd:tridentoffishcommand name 'Trident of Fish Command' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:tridentoffishcommand +hset dnd:twobirdssling name 'Two Birds Sling' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:twobirdssling +hset dnd:universalsolvent name 'Universal Solvent' rarity 'Legendary' price '75000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:ventilatinglungs name 'Ventilating Lungs' rarity 'Very Rare' price '80000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:ventilatinglungs +hset dnd:veteranscane name 'Veterans Cane' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:veteranscane +hset dnd:viciousrapier1 name 'Vicious Rapier +1' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:viciousrapier1 +hset dnd:viciousweapon name 'Vicious weapon' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:viciousweapon +hset dnd:vorpalsword name 'Vorpal sword' rarity 'Legendary' price '400000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:votingkit name 'Voting Kit' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:votingkit +hset dnd:voxseeker name 'Vox Seeker' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:voxseeker +hset dnd:voyagerstaff name 'Voyager Staff' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'staff' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:voyagerstaff +hset dnd:wallopingammunition name 'Walloping Ammunition' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:wallopingammunition +hset dnd:wandofbinding name 'Wand of binding' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandofbinding +hset dnd:wandofconducting name 'Wand of Conducting' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:wandofconducting +hset dnd:wandofenemydetection name 'Wand of enemy detection' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandofenemydetection +hset dnd:wandoffear name 'Wand of fear' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandoffear +hset dnd:wandoffireballs name 'Wand of fireballs' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandoffireballs +hset dnd:wandoflightningbolts name 'Wand of lightning bolts' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandoflightningbolts +hset dnd:wandofmagicdetection name 'Wand of magic detection' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:wandofmagicdetection +hset dnd:wandofmagicmissiles name 'Wand of magic missiles' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:wandofmagicmissiles +hset dnd:wandofparalysis name 'Wand of paralysis' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandofparalysis +hset dnd:wandofpolymorph name 'Wand of polymorph' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:wandofpolymorph +hset dnd:wandofpyrotechnics name 'Wand of Pyrotechnics' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:wandofpyrotechnics +hset dnd:wandofscowls name 'Wand of Scowls' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:wandofscowls +hset dnd:wandofsecrets name 'Wand of secrets' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:wandofsecrets +hset dnd:wandofsmiles name 'Wand of Smiles' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:wandofsmiles +hset dnd:wandofthewarmage1 name 'Wand of the war mage +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:wandofthewarmage1 +hset dnd:wandofthewarmage2 name 'Wand of the war mage +2' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandofthewarmage2 +hset dnd:wandofthewarmage3 name 'Wand of the war mage +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:wandofthewarmage3 +hset dnd:wandofviscidglobs name 'Wand of Viscid Globs' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandofviscidglobs +hset dnd:wandofweb name 'Wand of web' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:wandofweb +hset dnd:wandofwinter name 'Wand of Winter' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandofwinter +hset dnd:wandofwonder name 'Wand of wonder' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wand' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wandofwonder +hset dnd:wandsheath name 'Wand Sheath' rarity 'Common' price '200' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:wandsheath +hset dnd:weapon1 name 'Weapon +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:weapon1 +hset dnd:weapon2 name 'Weapon +2' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:weapon2 +hset dnd:weapon3 name 'Weapon +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:weapon3 +hset dnd:weaponofcertaindeath name 'Weapon of Certain Death' rarity 'Rare' price '8000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:weaponofcertaindeath +hset dnd:weaponofwarning name 'Weapon of warning' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:weaponofwarning +hset dnd:wellofmanyworlds name 'Well of many worlds' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:wheelofstars name 'Wheel of Stars' rarity 'Very Rare' price '120000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:wheelofstars +hset dnd:wheelofwindandwater name 'Wheel of Wind and Water' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:wheelofwindandwater +hset dnd:whisperjarrank1 name 'Whisper Jar (Rank 1)' rarity 'Common' price '100' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:common dnd:whisperjarrank1 +hset dnd:whisperjarrank2 name 'Whisper Jar (Rank 2)' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:whisperjarrank2 +hset dnd:whisperjarrank3 name 'Whisper Jar (Rank 3)' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:whisperjarrank3 +hset dnd:whisperjarrank4 name 'Whisper Jar (Rank 4)' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:whisperjarrank4 +hset dnd:whitedragonmask name 'White Dragon Mask' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:wierdtank name 'Wierd Tank' rarity 'Legendary' price '100000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:windfan name 'Wind fan' rarity 'Uncommon' price '600' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:windfan +hset dnd:windvane name 'Windvane' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted +hset dnd:wingedboots name 'Winged boots' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:wingedboots +hset dnd:wingsofflying name 'Wings of flying' rarity 'Rare' price '14000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:wingsofflying +hset dnd:wingwear name 'Wingwear' rarity 'Uncommon' price '250' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:wingwear +hset dnd:wintersdarkbite name 'Winters Dark Bite' rarity 'Uncommon' price '1000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:wintersdarkbite +hset dnd:yklwa1 name 'Yklwa +1' rarity 'Uncommon' price '800' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:uncommon dnd:yklwa1 +hset dnd:yklwa2 name 'Yklwa +2' rarity 'Rare' price '11000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:rare dnd:yklwa2 +hset dnd:yklwa3 name 'Yklwa +3' rarity 'Very Rare' price '100000' type 'weapon' +SADD index:dnd:very_rare dnd:yklwa3 +hset dnd:ythrynmythallar name 'Ythryn Mythallar' rarity 'Legendary' price '500000' type 'wondrous item' +SADD index:dnd:legendary dnd:formatted diff --git a/deps/fortune/fortunes b/deps/fortune/fortunes index f5bb2b4..752422e 100644 --- a/deps/fortune/fortunes +++ b/deps/fortune/fortunes @@ -1,916 +1,10801 @@ -A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it? +150 years ago the entire worlds population did not exist. 150 years from now every living human will be dead. % -A few hours grace before the madness begins again. +1984 - only 24 years late. % -A gift of a flower will soon be made to you. +--- 1st scanned image, in natural format. % -A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. - -Buy the negatives at any price. +2012 GARAGE SALE % -A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you. +2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2 % -A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work. +5-19-13. EXPECT US. % -A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work. +5 billion religious people and they can't get a conclusive answer on life after death. % -A vivid and creative mind characterizes you. +6 out of every 10 people refuse to be a statistic. % -Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy. +9/11 people refuse to be reduced to statistics % -Accent on helpful side of your nature. Drain the moat. +Abandon all art NOW % -Advancement in position. +Abel had no descendants. % -After your lover has gone you will still have PEANUT BUTTER! +a belief is just a thought you keep having % -Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change. +A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers. % -Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth. +Aborton kills, but so does McDonalds. % -All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly. +Above all things, revere yourself. % -Among the lucky, you are the chosen one. +Abraham Lincoln shot first. % -An avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume. +a brain capable of memory develops behavior, the rest are just reacting. % -An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future. +Absolutes are absolutely wrong % -Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree. +absolute submission can be a form of freedom % -Are you a turtle? +Abstinence is perverted % -Are you ever going to do the dishes? Or will you change your major to biology? +Abstinence is retarded and dangerous. % -Are you making all this up as you go along? +abstraction is a type of decadence % -Are you sure the back door is locked? +Abstractions don't like it when you anthropomorphize them. % -Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum. +Abuse of authority comes as no surprise. % -Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance. +abuse of power comes as no surprise % -Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight. +Accepting repression? Then accept depression. % -Avoid reality at all costs. +Accept it, push it to the back of your mind. % -Bank error in your favor. Collect $200. +A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. % -Be careful! Is it classified? +Ack!! % -Be careful! UGLY strikes 9 out of 10! +A Closed Mind Gathers No Heresies. % -Be cautious in your daily affairs. +A concept is the thing before you think. - Anonymouse % -Be cheerful while you are alive. - -- Phathotep, 24th Century B.C. +A conclusion is simply where you stopped thinking % -Be different: conform. +A conservative is a liberal who has been mugged. % -Be free and open and breezy! Enjoy! Things won't get any better so -get used to it. +Acting without thinking can be awfully entertaining. % -Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake. +Action, Anxiety, or Apathy. Choose. % -Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life. +action causes more trouble than thought % -Best of all is never to have been born. Second best is to die soon. +Actions speak louder than words... but nothing speaks louder than they who take no action % -Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your -life in such a mess. +Actors will happen in the best-regulated families. +% +Adapt or die! +% +Ad astra per aspera. +% +Adeptness is a Debt to Subject and Predicate +% +A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. +% +adjust your tie. +% +Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. +% +Admire persistence, or they won't stop +% +Advertising abhors a vacuum. +% +A few thousand rads never hurt anybody. +% +A fine will be charged for wounding the library books. +% +A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. +% +A free world needs no leaders +% +After all this time... don't wash my blood off of your hands! +% +After all, we only go around once. There's really no time to be afraid. +% +After all, we only go around once. There's really no time to be afraid. +% +after birth is before death +% +Again? thats the third time this week! +% +A good fight is like a stick of broccoli, but different. +% +A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none. +% +A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none. +% +A good memory does not equal pale ink. +% +A good person should die weeping for how much more they could have done. +% +Ah-ah, Mr. Wiiilson. Ah-ah, Mr. Heath. +% +A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong. +% +A king's castle is his home. +% +A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction. +% +A language is a dialect with an army +% +Alarm clocks kill dreams. +% +Albino african +% +Alcohol kills. Take LSD. +% +A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested. +% +alienation produces eccentrics or revolutionaries +% +a lie told often enough becomes truth +% +A little bit, and a little bit, and a little bit more. +% +a little knowledge can go a long way +% +A little madness now and then is relished by the wisest men. +% +A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. +% +A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned? +% +A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned? +% +All biography is ultimately fiction. +% +All employees are forbidden. +% +"All experiences are positive. Even negative experiences are positive." -Adam Narkiewicz +% +ALL FANATICS MUST DIE! +% +All generalisations are false +% +All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time. +% +All Hail Discordia. +% +All in all it's just another brick in the wall... +% +All is one and 1 is the loneliest number. +% +All is well, watch the days go by. +% +All law and order is a temporary accident. +% +All men are created equal, some more equal than others. +% +All men are created unequal. +% +All men have the right to dig their own graves, and I have the right to sell them the shovels. +% +All of the Sex with none of the calories +% +All religions are true, and everyone is going to hell. +% +All simplifying assumptions are too complicated. +% +All stickers prohibited by law. +% +All supposedly 'selfless' acts are entirely selfish. When a man gives to charity, rest assured he values the happiness it brings him more than the money itself. If he did not, he would not give away his money! +% +All supposedly 'selfless' acts are entirely selfish. when someone wants to give money to charity they are selfishly doing what they want to do. +% +All suspects are innocent until proven Discordian in a Court of Chaos. +% +All that glitters has a high refractive index. +% +All that is colossal is fraud +% +all that litters is old +% +ALL THAT RISES MUST CONVERGE. +% +All the horrible shit you're paranoid of is coming true. +% +All the technologies you take for granted were created by living, breathing, thinking, dreaming human beings just like you. +% +all things are delicately interconnected +% +All things being equal, fat people use more soap. +% +All this foliage is obstructing my scenic view. +% +all truth is relative. if you think otherwise, you are absolutely wrong. +% +All urban myths suggest HIMEOBS +% +All utopias are fucked from the beginning. That doesn't mean we should give up trying though. +% +All we have is words +% +All Wood? Oh! AL Wood. I didn't see the missing "L" at first. +% +All you can eat, shrimp +% +all you get from shitting on someone's shit is more shit. +% +Almost half of them are BELOW AVERAGE! +% +a lot of professionals are crackpots +% +A love of capitalism is symptomatic of a oedipal complex. +% +Altruism isn't a state of mind, it is an action. +% +Always be extremely moderate. +% +Always be ready to walk away from a bad idea. +% +Always store beer in a dark place. +% +Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not. +% +Always the catalyst... Never the Butterfly! +% +alzheimer macht frei +% +A man's a man all his life; a woman's sexy until she's your wife! +% +A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds. +% +A man who turns green has eschewed protein. +% +Amateur surgeon, seeking new patients +% +ambition is just as dangerous as complacency +% +ambivalence can ruin your life +% +A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one. +% +America brought democracy to my country and all I got was tortured. +% +Amerika is just another Latin dictatorship +% +A mind is a terrible thing to waste; recycle yours at the earliest opportunity. +% +A Monk climbed to the top of a mountain to find himself, and he found he was an asshole +% +A motion to adjourn is always in order. +% +A much-discussed alternative to homogeneous big-bang nucleosynthesis has been the first-order quark-hadron phase-transition-inspired inhomogeneous model. +% +A naked mind is sexy. +% +an alliance of ill lions, and they're marketing illusion +% +a name means a lot just by itself +% +Anarchism is a game at which the police can beat you. +% +Anarchy -- it's not the law, it's just a good idea. +% +Anarchy--it's not the law, it's just a good idea. +% +An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. +% +An aye for an aye makes the whole world pirates +% +And a cat in every bag. +% +And I alone am returned to wag the tail. +% +And I thought I was original! +% +And now, a man who needs no introduction... +% +And on the other hand, you have different fingers +% +And so it begins that some things last forever... +% +And so I went forth, to gaze upon the totality of everything. +% +And the Battle Raged on and on: fueled by the venom of hatred for mankind... +% +And the first one said to the second one there, "I hope you're having fun." +% +And the less I seek my source for some definitive, closer I am to fine... +% +And the Lord spake unto Elvis, "Thou hast spoken against me Elvis, and I curse thee to have thy blue suede shoes trod upon for all time..." +% +...and then there is this faggot... +% +...And the possibility of winding up alone is so threatening and suffocating and overwhelming that you think, maybe I should just roll with it. +% +And thus, sense was made. +% +And where you are ain't no good unless you can get away from it +% +And You Can't Believe Legislators +% +an elite is inevitable +% +anger or hate can be a useful motivating force +% +angst is lame +% +An honest politician is a national calamity. +% +An idle mind is worth two in the bush. +% +Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen. +% +An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. +% +Annihilate the adversaries with laughter. +% +annoy the boring +% +An object at rest cannot be stopped +% +Another damned, thick, square book! Always scribble, scribble, scribble! Eh, Mr. Gibbon? +% +An ounce of dignity is no cure for stupid +% +Antibiotics, she said. +% +Anti-lost is pro-found. +% +Antisemitism is a gas +% +A nudist is just a person in a one-button suit. +% +An unbreakable heart isn't worth having. +% +Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. +% +Anybody got any itch cream? +% +Anybody who cannot comprehend mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wash, cook food, and not make messes on the floor. +% +Anybody who cannot comprehend mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wash, cook food, and not make messes on the floor. +% +Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. +% +Any given program, when running, needs debugging. Any debugged program is obsolete. +% +Any given program, when running, needs debugging. Any debugged program is obsolete. +% +Any insufficiently observed Order is indistinguishable from Chaos. +% +Anyone seen showing signs of alarm or stress will be shot immediately. +% +Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent. +% +Any revolution's great as long as our gadgets are construed to cause it +% +Any sufficiently advanced metaphysics is indistinguishable from bullshit. +% +Any sufficiently advanced postmodernism is indistinguishable from necrophilia. +% +Any sufficiently advanced religion is indistinguishable from schizophrenia. +% +Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. +% +Anything I do is purely coincidental. +% +anything is a legitimate area of investigation +% +Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down. +% +Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down. +% +anything that claims to be a god is not +% +Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly +% +A person is just a thought you keep having +% +Apocalypse! +% +A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. +% +a positive attitude means all the difference in the world +% +Apparently my future self will think it's simply hilarious to send me cryptic text messages right before major life events. +% +Appreciate Chaos +% +A prison becomes a home if you hold the key +% +A quick guide to politics in one easy step! +% +Aquiring an addiction is like growing anothers stomach that you must feed. I wouldn't reccomend it. +% +A real human being is like this comparison. +% +a relaxed man is not necessarily a better man +% +A revolution is like a bottle of iced tea, but safer. +% +Are we there yet, Papa Smurf? +% +Are you a character or a being? +% +Are you happy? If not, why? +% +Are you interesting? +% +Are you mad at God for not existing? +% +Are You Mad At Yourself for Not Exiting +% +Are you sophisticated? Good. +% +Are you still awake? +% +Are you sure? Why not? +% +Are you trying to tell me that there was a time before celebrities? +% +Are you un-happy? If not, why? +% +are you wearing that? +% +ARISE! And claim your destiny: A coup for every chicken, and a chicken for every coup! +% +Arise, you wretched of the University. +% +Arrest the policeman in your head +% +artificial desires are despoiling the earth +% +Art is dangerous +% +Art is dead, don't consume its corpse. +% +Art is whatever you can get away with +% +Art without controversy is just craft. Artless controversy is iconoclasm. +% +A rumor is one thing that gets thicker instead of thinner as it is spread. +% +as a child, we believed in santa clause. as adolescents, we believed in true love. as adults, we believe in god. +% +a sense of timing is the mark of genius +% +As frightening as it may be, you are in control of your life. The government, your boss, and the NWO are powerless without you. +% +As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote. +% +Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if you don't take it out and use it it's going to rust. +% +a sincere effort is all you can ask +% +a single event can have infinitely many interpretations +% +A single fact can spoil a good argument. +% +A single nonrevolutionary weekend is infinitely more bloody than a month of permanent revolution. +% +As I see it, yes +% +Asking questions is the only way to get answers. +% +Ask not what your country can do for you, it's really not that interested +% +ask yourself this +% +As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? +% +As long as the music's loud enough, we won't hear the world falling apart. +% +A small mind is a tidy mind. +% +A soldier is a man who underwent dehumanization so that he may be a weapon, for a weapon that questions the implications of it's use is of no use at all. +% +a solid home base builds a sense of self +% +As one Judge said to another: `'Be Just, and if you can't be just be arbitrary.'' +% +As the Euclideans would have it, irrationality is the square root of all evil. +% +A stitch in nine saves time. +% +a strong sense of duty imprisons you +% +A sucking chest wound is just nature's way of telling you to slow down. +% +A suspicious mind is a healthy mind +% +A sweater is a garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly. +% +As we speak, the powers that be are attempting to retrieve Unit 04, assuming it actually was pulled into a hard case, and he needs to blow the whole truth to them. +% +A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. +% +A tainted mind cannot tell the difference twixt being ballsy and being an asshole. +% +A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary. +% +Atheists are people who have no invisible means of support +% +Atheists just don't have soul man. +% +A thing with just one meaning has scarcely any meaning at all. +% +A thousand dollars is worth thirteen peons working twelve hours. +% +A thousand lips, a thousand tongues, a thousand throats, a thousand lungs... a thousand ways to make it true, I want to do terrible things to you +% +At no point should ever assume that the "professionals" have any clue what they are doing. We are slightly less clueless then you but we get paid to do it. +% +A tree and a squid were killed to write this message. +% +A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn. +% +Attention: +% +Attention all planets of the Solar Federation: We have assumed control. +% +ATTENTION: disregard this message +% +ATTENTION: The outside will be closing in ten minutes. +% +ATTENTION: You are not living in a novel. +% +At the core of all well-founded belief, lies belief that is unfounded. +% +at times inactivity is preferable to mindless functioning +% +at times your unconsciousness is truer than your conscious mind +% +Attitude is no substitute for aptitude +% +Authorised graffiti area +% +'Authority' is the policeman in your head, not the policeman on your street. +% +automation is deadly +% +Avast! More sentence-tubes! +% +Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutant... +% +averageness is a point of view +% +Avert thy gaze! +% +Awareness without action is a marketing plan for your ego +% +A well placed stiletto is mightier than a thousand pens. +% +a well rounded argument is pointless +% +awful punishment awaits really bad people +% +A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. +% +A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. +% +Baa baa black sheep, have you any brain? Think for yourself cus you all think the same. +% +Babies enter the world screaming in terror :) +% +Bacon transforms men into incredibly sensitive and generous lovers and guarantees women the longest and most intense orgasms imaginable. +% +Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of. +% +bad intentions can yield good results +% +Bad metaphors are like hit Broadway shows about toe fungus--they don't exist. +% +Bad things come to those who wait too. +% +Ban Censorship! +% +Bavarian Illuminati: Now hiring! +% +Be a badass +% +Be all that you can be +% +Be as if. +% +Beat the change that you wish to see in the world +% +be aware that the illuminati have infiltrated this archive and outnumbered our sage nonsense with moralistic catch phrases. +% +Because and effect. +% +Because it's there. +% +Be excellent to each other +% +Before it was a bomb, it was an idea. Superman is a stronger, faster, better idea. +% +Before saving the world, first do the dishes. +% +Behave as you like, but think like others. +% +Be here at 2:23 am, I have a gift for you +% +Behind every man stands a woman with a leash. +% +Behind the mask, there is no face. +% +Being a doormat gets you walked on. +% +being alone with yourself is increasingly unpopular +% +being broke is childish +% +Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity. +% +Being good at being stupid doesn't count. +% +being happy is more important than anything else +% +being judgmental is a sign of life +% +Being proud of how many books you've read is the surest sign you haven't read nearly enough. +% +being sure of yourself means you're a fool +% +Being the Inquisition is GOOD. +% +Being the most uninteresting person in the world makes you interesting +% +Being who you are is it's own built-in punishment or reward. +% +Being who you are is it's own punishment. +% +being who you are is it's own reward +% +Bela Lugosi's dead. How about you? +% +Bela Lugosi's dead. How about you? +% +Be less prepared. +% +Belief is a rest home for people who are tired of thinking. +% +Belief is the Enemy. +% +Beliefs are like assault rifles: just because the Constitution says you can have them, doesn't mean you need them. +% +beliefs kill the freethinking, believe me! +% +BeLIEve +% +Believe nothing, dare all. +% +believe the unbelievable and it won't be unbelievable any longer +% +Believing in god makes you moral, like eating bologna sandwiches make you left handed. +% +believing in rebirth is the same as admitting defeat +% +Believing in rebirth is the same as admitting defeat +% +Believing is seeing. +% +BELIEVING KILLS +% +Be my brother or I'll kill you. +% +Beneath the paving stones - the beach! +% +Beneath the paving stones, the Beach Boys! +% +Be nice to other people; they outnumber you 6 billion to one. +% +Be realistic, ask for the impossible. +% +Be the Chaos you want to see in the world! +% +Better to have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. % Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie. % -Beware of a tall black man with one blond shoe. +Beware of all clothes that require new enterprises. +% +Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. +% +Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose. +% +Beware of falling hammers +% +Beware of false profits +% +Beware of the false profit. +% +BEWARE OF TRUTH +% +Beware the ides of thrill rides, for they may be of poor but entertaining construction. +% +Beware your actions, your future is another's past. +% +Beware your actions, your future will be your past, eventually. +% +Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors -- and miss. +% +Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors--and miss. +% +Beyond good and evil lies North Dakota. +% +Be young - shut up! +% +Bi-Curiosity killed the ____________. +% +big brother is not watching me +% +Big donkeys, small donkeys, all good to eat. +% +Binge on Education, Shit Success. +% +Bitches be bitches or HOES, SLUTS AND SHIT. +% +Bite me, it's fun. +% +Black sheep are still sheep. +% +Blasphemy is my religion +% +Bleat if you love Jesus! +% +Blessed are the confused, for they shall be amused. +% +Blessed are they that Hunger and thirst for justice--Fuck-ed are they that develop a taste for it. +% +Blessed are they that run around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels. +% +Blessings of the state, blessings of the masses. Work hard, increase production, prevent accidents, and be happy. +% +Bliss is a Dirt Sandwhich! +% +Bonzo the Demon Dog from Hell with Handlebars for Ears. +% +Boredom is counterrevolutionary. +% +boredom makes you do crazy things +% +Bored people are boring people. +% +Bow down before the one you serve +% +Boxing is a lot like ballet, except that they don't dance, there isn't any music, and they hit each other. +% +Brain fried -- Core dumped +% +brainwashing = meme brainwashing = meme +% +BRAKE YOUR LAWLS! +% +Break a pattern today. +% +BREAK YOUR LAWS! +% +Browsers for Genocide +% +Buddah wasn't perfect, he was fat +% +Buddha made me do it. +% +Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. +% +Bugger off. +% +Bullshit is all some of us have got. +% +Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful. +% +Bullshit makes the flowers grow, and that's beautiful. +% +bureaucrats erase their initials, then initial their erasure. +% +but a world with no idiots would be lonely - valetine wiggin. +% +But I don't like Spam!!! +% +But I'm already repressed! +% +But she looked good in ribbons... +% +But we'll never survive! +% +"But we'll never survive!" "Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has." +% +Buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen. +% +By legend and perhaps by nature philosophers are more accustomed to the armchair than the workbench. +% +By the power of viagra +% +Cadres decide everything. +% +Call in Sick +% +Call over your Visa Card and cut up her daughter. +% +Calm down, your heart is beating a little too fast right now. +% +calm is more conductive to creativity than is anxiety +% +Can I askew a question? +% +Can I ask you a rhetorical question? +% +Can I ask you a second question? +% +Can I get you something to drink? Refill your eggnog? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? +% +can-I-help-you's +% +Can it be that simple? (its JUST that simple :) +% +Can my false memory be that convincing? +% +Cannibalism is a small price to pay for popularity. +% +can this really be happening to me +% +Can you hear me now? +% +Can you prove you're not the enemy? +% +Capitalism eats itself -- while you wait +% +Capitalism: If it feels like you're stealing, then you're doing it right. +% +Capitalism: That hypnotic, trance-like music that keeps them dancing on the backs of the bruised. +% +Care for a penis snifter? +% +care to expand? +% +Cashing in on the Hollow Cost of Laughter Thoughts +% +categorizing fear is calming +% +catholics sacrafice to katholo, muslims to (muslim)mamo, and i could play the bango til the motherfucker broke +% +cats are goddesses who are seceretly cotrolling you +% +Caution: dry floor. +% +Caution: dry paint. +% +CAUTION: Only you are allowed to read this. +% +Caution: Reality ahead. +% +........ CAUTION: Suspicious Contents +% +CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh.. +% +Ceci n'est pas une phrase. +% +Censorship? We don't have any censorship here. If we did, I couldn't say ---- or ------ ------! +% +Censorship? We don't have any censorship here. If we did, I couldn't say ---- or ------ ------! +% +cereal is the gateway drug, perfected +% +challenge your habits +% +CHANGE comes on stinky feet +% +change is valuable when the oppressed become tyrants +% +change your mind +% +Change your mind, it's starting to smell. +% +Change yourself and you change the world. +% +Change your thoughts and you change your world. +% +Chaos has a better imagination than you. +% +Chaos is a level above order/disorder games. You cannot unsee this. +% +chaos is chicken pox after 30, +% +Chaos is what you make of it +% +Chaos never goes out in style? +% +Chaos, Panic, Disorder... My work here Is done +% +Chaotic Evil means never having +% +chasing the new is dangerous to society +% +Chaste makes waste. +% +Check Mate! +% +check the euclideanness of the geometry before entering the room +% +check your assumptions +% +Chill out... everything's under control... +% +Choking on the sweet air of freedom. +% +choose life +% +Choose your bondage: conformist or nonconformist. +% +Christ's teachings are in the public domain. +% +C.I.A. Mutha F**ker!! +% +[citation needed] +% +[Citation Needed] +% +Citing historical precedent is bad form. +% +Civilization is sterilization. +% +Clap your hands if you believe in the Federal Reserve +% +class action is a nice idea with no substance +% +class structure is as artificial as plastic +% +Click here to win. +% +Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. +% +Closed mouths sink republics. +% +Close your eyes. It will get dark. +% +Coca-Cola, proud sponspors of the Environment +% +Coca-Cola, proud sponspors of The Revolution +% +coffee up or liquor down - it's bubbles, bubbles, crutch to crown +% +Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum: I think I think, therefore I think I am. +% +Coitus ergo sum. +% +Collapse the state of mind +% +Colorless green ideas sleep furiously. +% +Come back at 2:35 am, I'll have a surprise for you +% +Common sense is neither. +% +COMMON SENSE IS NEITHER. +% +"Common Sense" is one of the great oxymorons, like "Happily Married" or "Military Intelligence". +% +Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat. +% +Complicated machinery has had to be matched by complicated social arrangements, designed to work as smoothly and efficiently as the new instruments of production. +% +Computers, like cats, can operate crossdimensionally; the trick is in getting them to do what you want. +% +Concrete thinking is still a metaphor +% +Confidence: a feeling peculiar to the stage just before full comprehension of the problem. +% +CONFUSE EVERYONE +% +confusing yourself is a way to stay honest +% +Confusion is paradise +% +Confusion, not knowledge, is the road to wisdom. +% +Congratulations: You have seen this message before the agents of oppression managed to remove it. +% +Congratulations! Your next clue is: http://bit.ly/e2JVA6 +% +Congratulations! - You've found clue no.3 ! +% +Congratulations! - You've found clue no.5 ! +% +Congratulations! - You've found clue no.7 ! +% +Congratulations, you've lost anything worth fighting for, Dumbass. Enjoy your subjugation. +% +Congregation, please be seated +% +Consider just thinking about it. +% +Consider your options, then look for more. +% +"Consistency is a Rationalist Fetish." -@fenris23 +% +conspiracy #45 +% +Conspiracy is an indication of weakness. +% +Constitution is not just a D&D stat. +% +Consume, conform, OBEY! +% +Context does. +% +Continental Life. Why do you ask? +% +Contrary to what you may have made yourself to believe, no one really gives a shit about what you think. +% +Control is not control +% +Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves. +% +Conventions are lazy. +% +Convictions cause convicts. +% +Convulsion, subversion, defection +% +Cool manacle! ...It's a watch? Yeah, that's what I said. +% +[copper] Conduct a Fucking Thought [/zinc] +% +corporations are money obsessed sociopathic Voltrons that eat freedom and want you to be their tiger fists +% +Corporations are money obsessed sociopathic Voltrons that eat freedom and want you to be their tiger fists. +% +Cosmetics made me alien. +% +*cough* "just wanted to ADD, completely unrelated to anything, that- I believe everything, including contradictions... conversely I also believe nothing, and why not, it's never let anyone down yet!" (incidentally rope can let you down) +% +Could I interest you in a pet rock? +% +Count the seconds it takes to stop thinking about this sentence. +% +Crazee Eddeee, his prices are INSANE!!! +% +crime against property is relatively unimportant +% +Criminals are made the moment a law is passed +% +Criminals commit crime, but Congress creates it. +% +Criminals operate in clear daylight now. +% +Critique Thyself +% +"Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war..." -why cry havoc when you can wreak it? +% +Cthulhu for President -- for when you're tired of choosing the _lesser_ of the two evils. +% +Cthulhu for President--for when you're tired of choosing the _lesser_ of the two evils. +% +Cthulhu Saves. He might get hungry later. +% +Cthulhu saves our souls and redeems them for valuable coupons later. +% +Culture is the inversion of life. +% +Curiosity killed the cat. Don't be a pussy. +% +Curiosity killed the cat, or that's what we assume as it never came back. +% +Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat. +% +Cut the conversation, just open your mouth +% +Cyberspace is where you are when you're on the telephone. +% +Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth. +% +Damn the torpedoes. +% +DANGER !! DANGER !! ABANDON THOUGHT IMMEDIATELY !! +% +DANGER: EVERY STRUCTURE IS UNSTABLE. +% +dare to be smart +% +Dare to be stupid. +% +Darth Vader died for your Sins. +% +Darwin Hates You. +% +Darwin's Law of Carcinogens: Cancer cures smoking. +% +Dating processes are dependent on the analysis of rocks. +% +Dead girls don't say yes, either. +% +Dead humans are easier to control then live ones +% +Dead puppies aren't much fun. +% +Dear products of society, +% +Death is an illusion. Life is a hallucination. Taxes are objective reality. +% +Death is an illusion. Life is a hallucination. Taxes are objective reality. +% +Death is just the ultimate expression of radical solipsism. +% +Death is not only for you. +% +DEATH TO MARTYRS! +% +Death without pain is like a sundae without sprinkles. +% +decadence can be an end in itself +% +Deceive boys with toys, but men with oaths. +% +deceive regularly +% +decency is a relative thing +% +Decide what you are meant to be. +% +Defective for our future. +% +Deity... he's come for me +% +Delicious and nutritious, tastes like chicken! +% +Del Mar: Where poverty is neither a philosophy nor a way of life. +% +delusions comfy enough? +% +Democracy: 9 out of 10 enjoy gang rape. +% +Democracy by Autocracy! Give them liberty and give them death! +% +Democracy is a popularity contest. +% +Democracy is Dumb When You Have No Say +% +Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch. +% +Democracy is Watching you.. +% +Denn alles was ensteht ist wert, dass es zugrunde geht. +% +dependence can be a meal ticket +% +Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face. +% +Der Gedanke an den Selbstmord ist ein starkes Trostmittel. +% +description is more important than metaphor +% +Despite the high cost of living, it remains a popular item. +% +destroy your mind, the rest will follow +% +deviants are sacrificed to improve group solidarity +% +Dick. +% +Did I just say that out loud? +% +didn't you just because almost sometimes depends on like before what always afterwards? +% +Did you exchange... a walk-on part in the war... for a lead role in a cage? +% +Did you know that if you were a kangaroo, you couldn't be a mailman? +% +Did you know that lithium builds up in the fatty tissues of the body? +% +Did you poop my pants or did my poop pants in MY poop? +% +Did your fork eat you with that butt? +% +Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow +% +Difference engenders hate. +% +Dig your own reality tunnel +% +Ding a ding-dang my dang-a-long ling-long +% +Discordia is the auto-immune disease of The Machine (TM). +% +discordia lumine maior +% +Discordianism: It stirs the coffee. +% +Discordianism: Paint Thinner for the Soul. +% +Discordianism: the Schroedinger's Cat of religions. +% +Discordians do it with... oh my god! where did all these bugs come from?!?! They're coming out of my skin, holy shit! How can you think about sex at a time like this? +% +[Discordians] need to be like a plague - not so virulent that we wipe out all potential carriers, but not so mild that we die out. +% +Discourse on virtue and they pass by in droves. Whistle and dance the shimmy, and you've got an audience. +% +disgust is the appropriate response to most situations +% +Disorder is order. +% +disorganization is a kind of anesthesia +% +Disregard any further announcements. +% +Disregard this line of text and everything after/before; I think it's nonsense +% +DIY +% +DNA controls you! +% +Doesn't this all seem a bit weird to you? +% +Does your conscience like it when you lie to yourself? +% +Does your mother know you can read this? +% +Dogma is what other people believe in. +% +D'oh! +% +Do I *amuse* you? Am I a *clown* to you? +% +Do I *amuse* you? Am I a *clown* to you? +% +Doing nothing you regret leads to regretting doing nothing. +% +Do it for the Widow's Son. +% +Do it. If you don't, who will? +% +Do it, or you'll be fishing yak cheese from your nostrils! +% +DO NOT BELIEF +% +Do not believe language. +% +Do not call up that which you cannot put on hold. +% +DO NOT DEFACE THIS SIGN SUCKS +% +DO NOT DISTURB. +% +Do nothing you'll regret and you will regret doing nothing. +% +Do not live, do not die. +% +Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them. +% +Do not open this door under any circumstances. +% +Do not read this. +% +DO NOT READ THIS +% +Do not read this message. +% +Do Not Remove +% +Do not remove tag under penalty of law. +% +Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive. +% +Do not taunt the Happy Fun Ball. If Happy Fun Ball starts to smoke, run away and take cover. +% +Do not taunt the Happy Fun Ball. If Happy Fun Ball starts to smoke, run away and take cover. +% +Do NOT turn around. You are NOT being observed. +% +Do not under any circumstances suspend disbelief. +% +Do not underestimate the power of the Force. +% +DO NOT WANT. +% +Don't be fooled by appearances; I am a surveillance camera. +% +Don't beg for the right to live, take it. +% +Don't believe anyone believes everything they think. +% +Don't believe everything you think. +% +Don't believe in the Uzi, it just went off in my hand. +% +Don't believe them, don't believe them, question everything you're told +% +Don't believe this sentence. +% +Don't believe you know - know you believe +% +Don't be naive. +% +DON'T call me dude, dude. +% +Dont'cha hate it when that happens? +% +Don't compensate, IMITATE! +% +Don't complain if you do nothing. +% +Don't count on it +% +Don't eat yellow snow. +% +don't eat your soul to fill your belly +% +Don't force it, use a bigger hammer. +% +Don't forget to die +% +dont forget to put your head in front of the shotgun,thanks for calling:) +% +Don't fuck the man. You'll get an STD. +% +Don't fuck with the government: it might reproduce! +% +Don't get even. Get odd. +% +Don't give them what they want, give them what they need +% +Don't give up, push a pawn +% +don't go with the flow +% +Don't have a cow, man. +% +Don't just defend the right to be wrong--exercise it! +% +Don't just do something--stand there! +% +Don't keep time: it's not yours. +% +Don't knock masturbation; isn't sex with someone you love the best kind? +% +Don't knock my smock or I'll clean your clock! +% +Don't knock opportunity +% +Don't let signs like this one tell you what to do. +% +Don't let the pigs separate our culture from our politics. oops +% +don't let your kids lick the pavement until a few weeks after application. +% +Don't lie, don't steal, and don't play in the mud. +% +Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you. +% +Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder +% +Don't mind the dog, beware of the owner.. +% +Don't negotiate with the bosses. Abolish them. +% +Don't open your eyes, you won't like what you see; the devils of truth steal the souls of the free... don't open your eyes, take it from me -- I have found you can find happiness in slavery... +% +Don't open your eyes, you won't like what you see; the devils of truth steal the souls of the free... don't open your eyes, take it from me--I have found you can find happiness in slavery... +% +Don't panic. +% +don't place to much trust in experts +% +don't postpone joy +% +Don't read me, I'm embarrassed about being self-referential. +% +Don't run! We are your friends! +% +Don't shoot the messenger. At least not until he's told you what the message is +% +Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him. +% +Don't speculate on a mirror. +% +Don't spend time: it doesn't belong to you. +% +Don't stop believing, just don't limit your options. +% +Don't swim upstream, the future was right where you were. +% +Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive +% +don't take take any crap, but please give a shit. +% +Don't think +% +Don't Think!! BELIEVE!! +% +Don't tread on me +% +Don't trip out. Trip in. +% +Don't trust me--I don't exist. +% +Don't trust them, just humor them. +% +Don't try to do no thinking +% +Don't worry: all will be obscured in time +% +Don't worry. Baldrick has a cunning plan. +% +Don't worry. Baldrick has a cunning plan. +% +Don't worry, be metal +% +Don't worry, go crazy. +% +Don't worry, no one else believes this bullshit either. +% +Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them. +% +Don't worry--you're being watched. +% +Do or do not there is no try. Is not trying doing in parts? +% +do spites get mad when you just laugh at their warning signs? +% +do those you perceive as self-righteous think of you as the same? +% +Do unto others before they do unto you. +% +Do we know what an empty room really looks like? +% +Do what keepeth thou from wilting shall be the law of the Hole. +% +Do what this sign tells you to do. +% +Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law and some people do like assholes +% +Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Just remember, no one likes an asshole. +% +Do what you want cause a Pirate is Free. +% +Do what you want to say +% +Down is the new up! +% +DOWN WITH DISEASE +% +DOWN WITH EARTHWORM EXPERIMENTS +% +Do you believe in the ideology becuase of the ideas or do you believe in the ideas because of the ideology? +% +Do you believe in the son of God? No, I believe in the uncle of God! +% +Do you believe in the sun of God? No, I believe in the uncle of God! +% +Do you believe or just believe that you believe? +% +Do you ever feel like putting your fist through a window just so you can feel something? +% +Do you ever get feelings of Deja Vu? +% +Do you FEEL like a moron when you wake up in the morning, or is it a surprise to you? +% +Do you feel that life is a never-ending elusion of grandeur? +% +Do you find this question offensive? +% +Do you fnord if I fnord your fnord? +% +do you fuck your fork with that mouth or do you fuck your mouth with that fork? +% +Do you fuck your mother with that fork? +% +Do you have another man's name on your underwear? +% +Do you know God is a Crazy Woman? I don't. +% +Do you know that feeling that you get when you lean back too far in a chair and start to tip over, but then you catch youself? +% +Do you like rules? If not why do you keep following them? +% +Do you mistake your inner monologue for reality? +% +Do you own your own reality tunnel? +% +Do you smell bacon? +% +do you think we are forever? +% +Do you want a cookie? +% +drama often obscures the real issues +% +Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. +% +Dreadlocks: the only hairstyle That's also a workout routine. +% +Dreamed any reality lately? +% +dreaming while awake is a frightening contradiction +% +Drive defensively; buy a tank. +% +Drive your cart and plow over the bones of the dead. +% +Driving makes you stupid; the more you drive, the stupider you get. +% +DUCK !! +% +Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together. +% +Due to circumstances within our control, tomorrow will be cancelled. +% +DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, REALITY ENDS HERE +% +DUMB IS A FORCE OF NATURE +% +Dumb is like gravity; you can try to outrun the closest source, but you will eventually get snagged by another one. +% +During the Asparagus Season, members are requested not to relieve themselves in the hatstand. +% +dying and coming back gives you considerable perspective +% +Dying can be hazardous to your health. +% +Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. +% +Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. +% +dying should be as easy as falling off a log +% +Each and single one +% +Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. +% +Early to bed and early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes. +% +Earn cash in your spare time, blackmail your friends. +% +Earth don't give a fuck. +% +Eating the menu? +% +Eat the Poor: what are they gonna do about it. +% +Education is a form of murder +% +education is everywhere +% +Eek! +% +Eggs on top, canned goods on the bottom... +% +Either you're with us, or you're giving us a damned good excuse to keep going +% +elaboration is a form of pollution +% +Elite Populist +% +Embrace Free Will....It's your DESTINY! +% +emotional responses ar as valuable as intellectual responses +% +Emotions are simply gears your brain/body can go into. +% +Employees must wash hands before not returning to work. +% +empower proponents of peer pressure +% +Empty Heart, Empty Mind, Empty Soul - VACANCY!! +% +End the unjust american occupation of disneyland! +% +END THOUGHT CRIME; STOP THINKING +% +Endurance is frequently a form of indecision. +% +Enjoy Coca-Cola Or the terrorists have already won +% +ENJOY WITHOUT CAUTION. +% +enjoy yourself because you can't change anything anyway +% +Enlightenment is Bullshit +% +Enlightenment is like the Police State - if you'd shut up for once, you'd realize you're already there. +% +Enlightenment won't save you any more than God will. +% +Enough glass in your diet? +% +ensure that your life stays in flux +% +Entropy is just improvement in disguise +% +Entropy is the final state, always. +% +Envelopes don't mail themselves, BUDDY. +% +Equal or eQuality are the grandest fallacies and unnormal Myth's believed by humanity , and cause of continued non-logical thinking. but also a source of +% +ERIS DID IT FOR TEH LULZ!!1 +% +Eris may help you. +% +Eris: She's in control when no one's in control. +% +Eschew Obfuscation. +% +Established government defends its monopoly on terrorism by killing its competitors. +% +Eternal Truths are neither. +% +Ethos under desconstruction +% +Et sic patet quod totus mundus est sicut unum speculum plenum luminibus praesentantibus divinam sapientam, et sicut carbo effundens lucem. +% +Eureka! +% +Even a negative action is a positive one. +% +Even Beyonce's booty can't save ____ +% +Even if God existed, it would be necessary to abolish him. +% +Even if you are on the right track you'll get run over if you just sit there! +% +even she goes poo... even she +% +Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion. +% +Even the Mona Lisa is falling apart +% +even your family can betray you +% +Even your suspicions are suspect +% +Ever see 'THEM'? +% +Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. +% +every achievement requires a sacrifice +% +Everybody else who read this was a smug asshole, it's a good thing you came along. +% +Everybody farts in the same language. +% +Everybody is equal here. It's just some people are more equal than others. +% +Everybody is equal here. It's just some people are more equal than others. +% +Everybody knows. +% +Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun. +% +Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop mudding and fall in love! +% +Everybody ought to have a friend. +% +Everybody ought to have a maid. +% +Everybody's a self-made man; but only the successful ones are ever willing to admit it. +% +Everybody wants freedom for himself and prison for the others +% +Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow. +% +Every element of structure you incorporate into your life will reprogram you. +% +Every farmer who owns a donkey beats it. +% +Every generation has thought that they would be the last. Every single one has been wrong. +% +"Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority." +% +every man is happy until happiness is suddenly a goal +% +Every morning someone new is in my mirror. +% +Every one can read your mind. +% +Everyone has their favorite blind spot. +% +Everyone is Jesus in Discordianism. +% +Everyone is wrong, but some of us are more correct than others. +% +every one of you assholes thinks you are interpreting "do what thou wilt ...." correctly...but you are all wrong! (ok, Not very catchy but its true.) +% +Everyone's Discordia is different +% +everyone's work is equally important +% +Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. +% +every snowflake is different. collect the whole set! +% +Every statement contains falsehood +% +everything counts in large amounts +% +EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR NO REASON +% +Everything happens, not for a reason. but everything happens. +% +Everything I know has been to space! +% +Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. +% +Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. +% +Everything in moderation, including Moderation itself. +% +Everything is exactly what you think it is. +% +Everything is Pornographic. +% +Everything is true- all things are forbidden. +% +Everything is true -- everything is permissible! +% +Everything is true - Everything is permissible! +% +everything new is ment to get used,old and bottled +% +Everything really does revolve around you. +% +EVERYTHING SUSPICIOUS IS TERRORISM +% +everything that's interesting is new +% +Everything you know... is just that. +% +Everything you know is wrong! +% +Every time God kills a kitten, a gay couple marries. +% +Every time the organ grinder plays, the monkey gets the itch to dance. +% +Every time you see this sentence you will recognize it. +% +Evolution doesn't take prisoners. +% +Evolution IS Genocide +% +Evolve! The monkeys are catching up! +% +Ewige Blumenkraft! +% +Examine the following: +% +exceptional people deserve special concessions +% +exciting controversy +% +Excuse me, what did you say? Oh, I thought you said "Whop". +% +Existence deleted due to violation of terms of service +% +Existence is futile +% +expect a spanish inquisition. +% +Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing. +% +Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. +% +expiring for love is beautiful but stupid +% +Explain your sense of self +% +expressing anger is necessary +% +Express your free-will and do not comment on this. +% +Express yourself through supreme bovinity. +% +extreme behavior has its basis in pathological psychology +% +EXTREME BUDDHISM. +% +extreme self-consciousness leads to perversion +% +Eyes only. Do not see. +% +Facts: Confusing humanity since. +% +Failure takes practice +% +Fait accompli... +% +faithfulness is a social not a biological law +% +Faith, hope and charity. I've had them all. +% +Faith is not an excuse. +% +fake or real indifference is a powerful personal weapon +% +Falling from a great height does not kill, but the sudden stop will, +% +FALL OUT BOY IS NOT MEME-WORTHY. +% +Famous people are delicious. +% +Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth. +% +Fashion a sword from the shards of your broken dreams. +% +fate is how your life looks backwards +% +fathers often use too much force +% +Fat people are harder to kidnap. +% +fat people think they are fat. +% +Fear and prejudice put up a terrible fight when they sense change coming. +% +fear is the greatest incapacitator +% +fear not the wrath of failure lest you not try. +% +Fear of consequence doesn't equal a lack of choice +% +Fear of Uncertainty Can Kill YOU +% +fear your friends +% +February 28th is national enjoy nothing day. +% +February is a good time to buy elephants +% +Feed Your Change to The Machine. +% +feel better now +% +Feel great on purpose. +% +Feel great with purpose +% +Few things work up an appetite like good, wholesome, sadomasochistic sex. +% +Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. +% +Fight apathy or don't. +% +Fight crime. Shoot back. +% +Fight crime. Shoot back. +% +Fight For Freedom, not "Freedom" +% +Fill in the blank: I'm always ______ myself. +% +Find your passion for apathy +% +Fine, DON'T have a nice day, see if I care. +% +Finishing is for quitters. +% +Fire in its advance will judge and convict all things. +% +Fire in the whole... isn't that Heraclytus main point? +% +First I must sprinkle you with fairy dust... +% +First rule of glass blowing: Hot glass looks just like cold glass +% +First rule of traffic: An red octagonal sign is incapable of stopping a moving vehicle +% +First there was nothing, so the lord gave us light. There was still nothing, but at least you could see it. +% +first, we state that women require time and money +% +Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads +% +Five is a demon. +% +FIVE TONS OF FLAX! +% +Flee at once, all is discovered. +% +Fliegende Kinderscheisse! +% +Flixtipix make flossing the cat fun! +% +fly's undone. +% +Fnord! +% +Fnord? +% +Fnord. +% +Fnord is the second spoon in your Whizz Fizz. +% +Follow ME - I'll be right behind you +% +Foolish little minds are consistent among hobgoblins. +% +Foolproof systems don't take into account the ingenuity of fools. +% +Fools seldom differ +% +For a good time call Eris +% +For a good time, please call 000. +% +Forcefully doing nothing. +% +FOREVER ALONE +% +For every new foolproof invention there is a new and improved fool. +% +For further information, consult your pineal gland. +% +Forget about your rights and they'll go away. +% +Forget this moment ever happened. +% +Forget you even read this. +% +Forgive those who hate you, and those who you hate, for love and hate are two sides of the same coin. hate is love poisoned, love opposed is apathy. +% +For him to get a clue would require heroic implant surgery. +% +For how long are things what they seem After I skinny Dip through your waking Dream. +% +For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end. +% +FORM FOLLOWS FICTION. +% +For some, it's the left-hand path, for some, it's the right-hand path; for me, it's the psycho-path, RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE THROUGH THE MALL WITH A BULLDOZER! +% +For some reason the concept of sacrificing accuracy to increase efficiency seems inherently wrong. +% +For such a cute kid, you sure turned out ugly. +% +For those of you without hope, we have rooms with color TV, cable and air conditioning +% +Fred and Daphne were swingers. It's true! Look at the scarves they wore! +% +Free +% +Free Baser Evil! +% +Freedom allows you to choose which cage to live in. +% +Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite. +% +Freedom can be taken away; but its more likely given away +% +Freedom -- do you grok it? +% +Freedom? Freedom is for proles. +% +Freedom is a lie, but lies will make you free. +% +freedom is a luxury not a necessity +% +FREEDOM IS AN ACT OF REBELLION. +% +Freedom is a party +% +FREEDOM IS A VERB +% +Freedom is just a hallucination created by a pathological lack of paranoia. +% +Freedom isn't everyone's cup of tea. +% +FREEDOM ISN'T FREE. +% +Freedom is within their grasp. +% +Freedom Needs Work. +% +Freedom- now comes in a new minty scent +% +Freedom of speech ain't free. +% +Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one. +% +Freedom--You've gotta give for what you take +% +Free? Prove it! +% +Free speech does not mean consequence-free speech. +% +FREE SPEECH IS THE RIGHT TO SHOUT +% +FREE, take one--they belong to Lars Ulrich. +% +FREE THE MURDERERS! +% +free water! Take one! +% +Free Will is sacred to GOD. so use your free will the way god wants you to - or else. +% +Friends are just people waiting to be enemies.... +% +Frogs are my favorite vegetable. +% +From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, we are all tools of the Conspiracy... +% +Frumble! Frumble! Istharcity! +% +fuck bitches, get money. +% +Fuck Darwin, Donate Semen. +% +Fuck em if they cant take a joke. +% +Fuck semantics! +% +FUCK SPARTA! +% +Fuck the Man, he needs it. +% +FUCK THE SYSTEM! just kidding...NOT! +% +Fuck the whales, save the banks! +% +FUCK WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT CHAOS. +% +fuck your brand of individuality. +% +fun is my function +% +fun or doom +% +Futility is futile. +% +fututio, non verba. +% +Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear. +% +G'day! Ewige Blumenkraft, Mate! +% +Generally speaking, women are. +% +Get a hat! Get a hairy hat! +% +Get a hat! Get a hairy hat! +% +get an afterlife +% +GET AN AFTERLIFE +% +get fired. taste delicious. +% +GET OFF THE INTERNET AND DO SOMETHING +% +get off your knees!!!!! +% +GET OVER IT +% +Get paranoid to act fast. +% +Get ready for this. +% +Getting back to where you once belong is a long an winding road. Help! +% +Get up Dog Boy! Show them where you come from, show them where you're going! +% +Get up Dog Boy! Show them where you come from, show them where you're going! +% +Girls will be boys and boys will be girls +% +"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. +% +Give a monkey a brain and he'll swear he's the center of the universe. +% +Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth. +% +Give me a thousand men crazy enough to conquer hell, and I will do it. +% +Give me liberty or, else. +% +Give me liberty or give them death! +% +Give me liberty or I'll fucking kill you! +% +Give me my goddamn country back! +% +Give up while your still where you started. +% +Give your child mental blocks for Christmas. +% +giving free rein to your emotions is an honest way to live +% +go all out in romance and let the chips fall where they may +% +Go back and pick that up, I saw that! +% +God bless the kufar +% +god created masturbation. +% +God created the world and everything in it right after he found an instruction manual telling him how to do it. +% +Goddess forbids nothing, but nobody likes an asshole. +% +God does not play russian roulette with the universe. +% +God doesn't believe in you, either. +% +God doesn't give a fuck. +% +God exists only when we are unaware of him. +% +GOD help us...help us lose our minds. +% +Go directly to jail. +% +God is an excuse. +% +GOD IS A PERVERT +% +GOD IS DEAD AND NOONE CARES +% +God is innocent; the church did it all. +% +God isn't a cupcake: but what if He was? +% +God made me an atheist. +% +go down and drown'd +% +going with the flow is soothing but risky +% +Good artists borrow. Great artists starve to death. +% +Good, bad, *I'm* the guy with the gun! +% +Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. +% +Good luck on your exam. +% +Good Morning! +% +Good news! +% +Go on, I won't tell. +% +Go on walking, don't look at here, pretend not to have read this sign. +% +Go places. +% +Go Speed Racer Go Speed Racer Go Speed Racer Go +% +Got a college degree? +% +Go talk to that old weird guy at Dennys. +% +Government Complaints Box +% +go within the flow +% +Go with your instinct on problem number 5. +% +Grab it and feel it +% +Grab life by the neck and squeeze! +% +grass roots agitation is the only hope +% +Grate with purpose +% +Grayface is a Pope too +% +Great! Doesn't it +% +Great minds think alike, but they seldom march in single file. +% +Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. +% +Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. +% +Green paper makes me happy! +% +Green potatoes and green potato chips are to be distinguished from brown potato chips, which are another matter entirely. +% +Greetings, lowly citizen. I seek your PEZ! +% +Grey! Did I hear you say grey? +% +"Grey! Did I hear you say grey?" "Light black. From pole to pole." +% +Gridlock to the max, Jack +% +Grow your own. It's the new safe. +% +Grumplicious Grumplicious Grumplicious!!! +% +guilt and self-laceration are indulgences +% +Guns don't kill people. Bullets do. +% +Guns don't kill people. Bullets do. +% +Guns don't kill people, I do. +% +Guns Protect Killers. +% +Guy Debord is dead, don't consume his corpse. +% +Guys have right. Change are coming. +% +Habeas Corpus +% +habitual contempt doesn't reflect a finer sensibility +% +Hail Bob! +% +Hail Damage Repair! +% +Hail Eris! +% +Hail / Praise / Ia / Fuck / Grep / Eat Eris / "Bob" / Cthulhu / The Conspiracy / Kibo / Spam +% +Hail Stones! +% +Half the trick is knowing the CyberPunks from the CyberPinks. +% +Hallucination is no private matter +% +Ha, look at you being intelligent +% +Happiness comes in packages marked 'Batteries Not Included'. +% +Happiness is a new idea. +% +Happiness is mandatory. Are you happy? +% +Happiness is mandatory. Are you happy? +% +Hard drugs made me a better person. +% +Harmony is Concordant Discord. -Pythagoras +% +Harry Potter is the Jesus for our age. +% +Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? +% +Has to happen to somebody. +% +Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hast... urrrrrrrk! +% +hate humanity. love people +% +Hate is a chemical reaction. +% +Hate is a strong word...so is Love. +% +hate love - love hate +% +Hate the Poor: what are THEY gonna do about it. +% +Hatred may breed contempt, but ignorance invites it in for dinner. +% +Have a good day, or die. +% +Have a nice day. Or else +% +Have that mole checked out +% +Have you been alive lately? +% +Have you ever met a rational person? +% +Have your furries spayed and neutered! +% +Have you seen my stapler? +% +Have you seen Nicolas Flamel? +% +Heads I win, tails you lose. +% +Head Your mind! +% +Heaven must be hell if you're afraid of heights. +% +He buy me a soda... he buy me a soda and tried to molest me in the parking lot, yep yep yep yep +% +He can't be a man cause he does not smoke the same cigarettes as me +% +He doesn't like me. HE NEVER LIKED ME! +% +Hedonism is vastly over-rated. +% +He gives twice who gives promptly. +% +Hell hath no humor like a discordian scorned. +% +Hellllllooooooooo, Nurse! +% +Help! I cannot eat my own brain! +% +Help keep our junkyards beautiful: throw away something lovely today! +% +help me i've turned into a sentence +% +help me i've turned into paper +% +"HELP STAMP OUT THOUGHT: OBEY" +% +Help! There's a cow in my esophagus! +% +HER AVOIDING EYES +% +Here he comes -- here comes Speed Racer -- he's a demon on wheels +% +Here he comes--here comes Speed Racer--he's a demon on wheels +% +here in america, people (who may be your neighbors) still worship the sun. +% +Here stands the Great Machine! Its eyes are gold and silver, and its name is Urizen. Ever does it turn, marching forward into eternity, turning the blood of men into history. Caught in its terrible gears, the world wails. Turning, turning, ever turning: The end is marked by a wheel +% +Here's what I know, +% +"Here's what I know," said the physicist. "If we lived in a microscopic world, trucks would crash into walls, fly apart and then reassemble perfectly on the other side of the wall. This has been proven." +% +Here, take this shovel. You know what to do. +% +Heretics have the best barbecues! +% +Her mariage. +% +Heroes Needed! Inquire within. +% +He's a tragic figure in a paisley shirt +% +He's a trash-culture king on a four-color throne +% +He's dead. Get over it. +% +He sells contact lenses for a cubist world +% +He's reaching for perspective and found this place. The poor bastard. +% +He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. +% +He that leaveth nothing to chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few things. +% +Heute die Welt, Morgens das Sonnensystem! +% +He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool. He who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance. +% +He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last. +% +He who has long legs and short arms cannot touch one's toes... +% +He who hates vices hates mankind. +% +He who laughs, lasts. +% +He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes. +% +He who marries the Spirit of his Age, soon becomes a widower. +% +HE WHO SO SHALL, SO SHALL HE WHO. +% +Hey, go buy a plane ticket to another state of mind, okay? +% +Hey, I have an idea! Let's all go spray paint some cars in Singapore. +% +hey sheeple! whos your shepard! +% +Hey, that's just the way the cookie gets completely stomped on and obliterated. +% +Hey, wow man, they've got codes for mazurkas! +% +Hey, you in the gray suit. Your wife is cheating on you. +% +Hey, you've got a third eye! Uh, never mind... it's just a spot of dirt in the middle of your forehead. +% +hiding your emotions is despicable +% +Hi, I'm Jesus :) +% +HIMEOBS: Dude, where's my spysat? +% +HIMEOBS - The Bakery is Open +% +HIMEOBS: Yuo can't paddle fast enough. +% +His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans - and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink." +% +His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools--the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans - and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink." +% +History: an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, brought about by rulers mostly knaves and soldiers mostly fools. +% +History is a religion +% +History is the study of the world's crime. +% +History is written by the winners +% +Hokum all ye faithful +% +Hold! Cease thy stultiloquy! Oh, not daggers or swords or all the spears in the world stung me greater than this rubbish you throw to the heavens!" +% +holding back protects your vital energies +% +Hold on to freedom as long as you can, 'cause the girl in your cell might think she's a man +% +Holiness is just a lobotomy away! +% +Holy Shit, did you see that!? No, of course not, you were reading this note. +% +Holy shit look over there ---> +% +Homework: Find out what happens to male chickens hatching in industrial egg-producing facilities. +% +HOMO MERCATOR VIX AUT NUMQUAM POTEST DEA PLACERE +% +Homosexuality is the best all around cover an agent ever had. +% +Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. +% +honey is in the eye of the bee-keeper +% +Honey, the whole city is full of people who hate teenagers. +% +Honi soit la vache qui rit. +% +Hope is what gets you up in the morning. Change is what buys you the coffee to get through it. +% +Hope kills; despair is only tiresome. +% +Horniness is a quintessential example of hope. +% +HORROR IS MIRTH +% +Hot Topic is to rebellion as Hot Pockets are to nutrition. +% +How am I not myself? +% +How am I not who I Am? +% +How are you reading this? +% +How can one think freely in the shadow of a chapel? +% +How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all? +% +How can you be paranoid, knowing that that's exactly what they want? +% +How come you so Dumb? +% +How did you get here? +% +How does spying on us catch terrorists? +% +How do you expect me to take it seriously if i can't make fun of it? +% +How do you get all those coins? +% +"How do you get all those coins?" "IN PAIRS." +% +How do you make a cat go moo? Ask it "Does a dog have the Buddha-nature?" +% +How do you make a cat go moo? Ask it "Does a dog have the Buddha-nature?" +% +How do you think *this* got here, huh? +% +How is this sentence not gibberish? +% +How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. +% +How many advertisements are you wearing? +% +How many bears could Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears? +% +How many gods do you currently not believe in? +% +How many of your facebook posts are pearls before whine? +% +How many people stood exactly where you are now? +% +"How many tentacles has Great Cthulhu got?" "Too many." +% +How many times do I have to tell you that drilling holes in your head will not relieve stress? +% +How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. +% +How necessary are you? +% +How often do you feel human? +% +How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent. +% +How's that working out for you? +% +How untasteful can you get? +% +How was the first/last time you felt great? +% +How would language evolve if everyone claimed copyright on the words they invent? +% +Huh, turns out that - WAS - poison! +% +humanism is obsolete +% +Humans are like snowflakes: they may be unique, but from a distance they all look the same +% +Humans: Bet you can't eat just one. +% +Humans sure have a strange way of dying. +% +humor is a release +% +Hunger is the mother of beauty +% +Hurry up and make yourself important so you can make things easier for the rest of us. +% +Hush! Uncle Sam is listening! +% +Hypocrisy has saved us from many bad ideas that might otherwise have been practiced as well as preached. +% +Hypocrisy is necessary but not sufficient for humanity. +% +I admit that I am powerless over fish innards. +% +I ain't got time to think, do it for me. +% +I always thought I subconsciously wanted to kill myself... +% +i am a living, breathing human being. do you perhaps feel threatened by me, besides your cold, dead, unchanging self? +% +I am always right. Except when I'm left, or bluffing. +% +I am always right. Except when I'm left, or bluffing. +% +I am a modest man, with much to be modest about +% +I am an elitist asshole and I fully support and endorse your right to be an idiot. +% +i am an old surrealist trapped in a teenager's body. Or the other way around... +% +I am a verb and so can you! +% +I am delighted to have been of entertainment. +% +I am feeling so grey today... +% +I am feeling so grey today... Change this for your country's police hotline +% +I am GOD here! +% +I am living in denial. +% +I am no longer infected +% +I am nothing. Nothing is perfect. Hence I am perfect. +% +i am paint. watch me dry! +% +I am sooo DE-VO! How long can this go on?! +% +I am sooo DE-VO! How long can this go on?! +% +I am the Electric Messiah; an AC/DC god. +% +I am the king of all iconoclasts +% +I am uncertain. +% +I am very cold and alone every day. My world is one of anguish and regret. +% +I am Zorkon, this is my brother Zenon, and this is my other brother Zenon. +% +"I begged Eris for mercy, and the power to be victorious. I only got one." +% +I believe I disbelieve. +% +i believe that children are the futile +% +I believe that everyone is entitled to my opinion. +% +I believe that it is time we enact Godwin's Law at the federal level. Do it for the children! +% +I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. +% +I bet you stepped in it. +% +I call her Attila, 'cuz she's my Hun... +% +I came. I saw. I believed. +% +I came, I saw, she conquered. +% +I came to a conclusion earlier, which made me think. Why am I wanking to a conclusion? +% +I can see it now, all crystallizing in the moment of activation, and what if the programmer is the reason for all the evil and misfortune and injustice in the world; what if every single unfortunate event that's ever occurred is caused by the butterfly flap of that man trying to prevent it all, and the entire concept of evil and finity and a difficult world is all a big cruel self-fulfilling prophecy, and it's all my fault; a big joke, and I'm the punchline? +% +I can see you +% +i can spot a lesbian quicker than a toupee +% +I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend... +% +I can't see Half the things I believe in! +% +ice cream is never the wrong decision +% +I conceive of nothing, in religion, science, or philosophy, that is more than the proper thing to wear, for a while. +% +I contradict myself? Well, good thing! I contradict myself I own: I am able to take a lot! +% +I contradict myself? Well, good thing! I contradict myself I own: I am unable to take a lot! +% +I could cure cancer! unless i can't and then i won't. +% +I could only masquerade +% +I dance around and sing a song and know that I can do no wrong. +% +Idealists have a hard time understanding that the universe doesn't give a fuck what they believe in. +% +ideals are replaced by conventional goals at a certain age +% +I decided to go into a draconian diet, cutting alcohol, fat, and sugar. In two weeks, I lost 14 days. +% +I declare a permanent state of happiness. +% +Ideology is a thought killer. +% +I'd give it a 10, but you can't do the batoosie to it. +% +I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. +% +I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables! +% +I did smoke Thor's hammer, but then again I do try to normally smoke the god stuff. +% +I disagree with your opinion, but I will defend to the death your right to go fuck yourself. +% +I'd like to like you like you like me. +% +I don't believe in reason, objective reality or collective farming. +% +I don't believe, I think. I think I don't believe anything. +% +I don't believe you. +% +I don't exist. +% +I don't have a drinking problem... I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem. +% +I don't have a drinking problem... I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem. +% +i don't have expectations; i have hopes. i don't have plans; i have dreams. i don't have a future; i have a life. and that is infinitely better. +% +I don't have time for the truth. +% +i don't have to believe communism works "its the government's job to believe it for me" +% +I don't have to care about your problems until you solve mine. +% +I don't know if it's lonely at the top +% +I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. +% +i dont really know anything. +% +I don't think I think what you think I think. +% +I don't want anybody else; when I think about you I touch myself +% +I don't want to believe this statement. +% +I'd rather be an ass-less chap then a harry fookes! +% +I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. +% +I ejaculate upon your disapproval. +% +I enjoy your company most when I am by myself. +% +If a family member dies, would you delete their Mii from the family Wii? +% +If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? +% +If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. +% +If any of you loved me, you'd kill yourselves in my honor. +% +If at first, the idea is not absurd, +% +If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success. +% +If at first you don't succeed, try following the instructions. +% +If a tree falls in the forest, and no-one is around to hear it... is God omnipresent? +% +If being right is wrong, I don't want to be right. +% +If being wrong is right, I don't want to be wrong. +% +IF Chaos is order and order is Chaos is there chaos and order or just existence without definition +% +If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? +% +If Cthulhu calls... let the machine pick it up. +% +I feel like eating an airplane. +% +I feel like jonah in the belly of a whale. +% +if fascism cam to americait would be on a program of americanism. - h. long +% +If Goddess had intended humans to smoke, She would have set them on fire. +% +If God was real, you'd be dead by now. +% +If I asked you to have sex with me, would you answer the same as you would to this question? +% +if i could turn you on, if I could drive you out of your wretched mind, if i could tell you I would let you know. - ronald d. laing +% +If ignorance is bliss, wipe that smile off your face. +% +If I had an axe, I'd still be free. +% +If I hadn't believed it, I would never have seen it. +% +If I let you go, do you think you could fly? +% +i find memebombs hard to masturbate to, but i still use it daily. +% +If infinite rednecks fired infinite shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, they'd eventually create all the great literary works of the world in braille. +% +If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is. +% +If it is as it is is it as it is or as it is to be pneumoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis? +% +If it is the case that when all you have is a hammer, everything becomes a nail, then what does it mean when the only utensils left are knives? +% +if it keeps on raining the levees going to break +% +If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck it is probably just a tool of the conspiracy. +% +If it makes sense, we can't do it. +% +If it makes you cry, it is real; if it makes you laugh, it probably is true. +% +If it's a game you can't lose, then it isn't a game at all, but an exercise in futility. +% +IF ITS BALANCE YOU WANT, GET SOME SCALES +% +If it's comprehensible, it's obsolete. +% +If it's not pointlessly complicated, it's not going to work +% +If its to be its up to me +% +If its to be, its up to me +% +If it wasn't for television, you'd have never gotten that tattoo. +% +If it weren't for humans there would be no Good or Evil. +% +If it weren't for lawyers, I think we could have invented a universal symbolic representation of reality. +% +If I was a woman I'd stay at home all day and play with my breasts. +% +If I was witty, I'm sure you'd be laughing by now. +% +If I were you I'd dance naked in the middle of the street just to embarrass you. +% +If Life gives you Chaos, you have won. +% +If life gives you lemons, build a rocket-powered lemon gun. +% +If life gives you lemons, find a small child with open wounds. +% +if martians were psychologists they would have described the mars rovers as : curious, solitary creatures with a strong passion for the rocks ("rockofillia"). analyzing behaviors is pointless and unscientific. +% +if Mary was a virgin then Jesus popped his mothers cherry +% +If money is a protocol for interchange, why is the world economy in a recession? +% +If nothing changes, nothing changes. +% +if one lives long enough in chaos it happend that the things Order oneself - or Themself - LOL +% +If opportunity knocks, go to bed with your pants on. +% +I found Nirvana. It was in my album collection. +% +If seeing is believing you have to be blind. +% +If she doesn't scare ya, no evil thing will... +% +if the average woman wold rather have beauty than brains, it's because the average man can see better than he can think. - gregory benford +% +If the cap fits, your head's the right size +% +If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, then what is the definition of practice? +% +If the Devil is the God of baser things, I dare you to hit a home run. +% +If the religious are good for god, does that means the rest of us are good for nothing? +% +If there really is an omnipotent God, It's fine with me putting this sticker here. +% +If there's an almighty god who's not a failure, the one you've been hearing about could only be an impostor. But that only makes sense if you're sane, and as saint paul amply demonstrated, sanity is overrated. +% +If there's one thing she cannot stand, it's anything. +% +if there was no money, we would all be rich. +% +If the universe is at any time what you say it is, then say. +% +If the world seems to be getting smaller, your stupidity is increasing +% +"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers" Pynchon +% +If they were unjust, people would do something about it. +% +If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower. +% +if this is the best of all possible worlds, what are the others like ? - voltaire +% +If this was a movie, would you be a character in it? Or just an extra? +% +If two persons always share the same opinion, +% +if u believed me. u would be scared +% +If vegetarians eat vegetables, I guess that makes me a humanitarian. +% +If voting actually worked then it would be against the law +% +if voting could change the system, it would be against the law. +% +If we'd been born where they were born and taught what they were taught, we would believe what they believe. +% +If Wishes Were Fishes We'd All Cast NEts +% +if wishes were fishes, What the hell did I have for Lunch? +% +If you act like a dumbshit, they'll treat you like an equal. +% +if you are happy and you know it - wipe your tears +% +If you are immortal, I will eat you. +% +If you are not a part of disillusion, you're a part of the problem +% +if you aren't a monkey wrench yet, you still have evolving to do +% +If you aren't confused, you're wrong. +% +if you aren't political your personal life should be exemplary +% +If you aren't thinking, stop existing. +% +If you aren't worried, you aren't paying attention. +% +If you are pissed off, frustrated, annoyed and confused, congratulations. You are about to learn something. +% +if you ARE READING THIS YOU ARE STILL ASLEEP +% +If you are sitting, just sit. If you are walking, just walk. Above all, don't wobble. +% +If you are sitting, just sit. If you are walking, just walk. Above all, don't wobble. +% +If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning. +% +If you are worried, you aren't paying attention. +% +If you bang your head against a brick wall long enough, do the colors of the pot and the kettle change so that they look different? +% +If you believe in solipsism, you are not alone. +% +If you believe that, I wonder what you'll believe when your eventually convinced its a lie. +% +If you can read this, I love you. +% +if you can read this thank your mother for having sex +% +IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU MUST BE THIS TALL +% +If you can read this you must have magical powers. +% +If you can read this, you're in range. +% +If you can read this, you're not drinking enough poison +% +If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names. +% +If you can this.... you can read +% +If you can't laugh at yourself, then others will do the laughing for you. +% +if you can't leave your mark give up +% +If you can't see the fnords, they can't eat you. +% +If you can't write history, write the future. +% +If you didn't descend from apes, why are you constantly flinging shit? +% +If you disobey, they will take away your iPods. +% +If you disobey, we will increase funding for the Entertainments. +% +If you do it, want it. +% +If you do not change your direction, you may end up where you are heading. +% +If you do not expect the unexpected, you will not find it; for it is hard to be sought out and difficult. +% +If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost. +% +If you don't control your mind, someone else will. +% +If you dont know how much is '2+2', but knows that '7' is closer than 'green', than you have the answer and just don't know it. +% +If you don't take control of your mind, your mind will take control of you. +% +if you don't think you should be reading this, +% +If you don't want to take one in the head, stop acting like a zombie +% +If you do that you have a chance of dying +% +If you feel like you've got to lead, at least get out of my way. +% +If you fuck the system without protection something nasty is bound to happen. +% +If you hadn't seen this, it wouldn't exist. +% +If you have a brain, listen to it. If you don't, follow the rules. +% +if you have many desires your life will be interesting +% +If you have never contemplated killing all of your friends with an axe, then you are not taking enough drugs. If you actually did the deed, then someone is coming for you ... +% +If you have no choice in the matter, that's your choice. +% +If you have OCD, read this sentence again. +% +If you have to ask, you're not allowed to know. +% +If you hit a man over the head with a fish, he'll have a headache for a day. But if you teach a man to hit himself over the head with a fish, he'll have headaches for the rest of his life. +% +If you hit a man over the head with a fish, he'll have a headache for a day. But if you teach a man to hit himself over the head with a fish, he'll have headaches for the rest of his life. +% +If you jump off a bridge, would you do it too? +% +If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. +% +if you live simply there is nothing to worry about +% +If you'll read this, what else do you waste your time on? +% +if you look closely, you'll see what I'm making you look for +% +If you meet a man with a gun in the road, hide your Buddhahood. +% +If you meet John Galt on your path, kill him +% +If you meet the Buddha on the road, convert him. +% +If you meet the Gouda on the road, grill it. +% +if you need further help try reading the aidrocsiD aipicnirP backwards +% +If you only want to go 500 miles, can you begin with a halfstep? +% +If you outlaw guns then only outlaws will have guns +% +IF YOU PROMISE TO BEHAVE YOU WILL TAKE YOUR SPIRIT TO THE GRAVE (Yap Papaya) +% +If you put all the economists in a line, they still wouldn't reach a conclusion. +% +If you rape a prostitute, is it shoplifting? +% +If you're bored, you're boring. +% +If you're not confused, you're ignorant. +% +If you're not living on the edge +% +if you're not part of the problem you're part of the problem. +% +If you're not part of the solution or the problem, then you're a pawn. +% +If you're not part of the solution then you are part of the precipitate. +% +If you're not part of the solution, you're probably part of the solute. +% +If you're so special, why aren't you dead? +% +If you're the answer, what was the question? +% +If you're too old to play, you're doomed. +% +If you're trying to choose between two theories and one gives you an excuse for being lazy, the other one is probably right. +% +If your face were a tree, it would be different. +% +If your thoughts aren't original, they're not really yours, are they? +% +if you see buddha on the road, give him a doughnut. +% +If you see the Buddha on the road, please call 911. +% +If you stand on this spot long enough, you will see some very strange things. +% +if you take everything out of the inside you end making a new inside +% +If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it. +% +If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first. +% +If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. +% +If you think there's an answer to life, you're thinking too hard +% +if you think this line is clever, you should check what i wrote on the back of the toilet pot +% +If you think you Cain, you might be Abel +% +if you think you're wrong, you're probably right. +% +If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are. +% +If you understand what you're doing, you're not learning anything +% +If you've read this, it's already too late. +% +If you want it, do it. +% +If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission +% +If you want to be a Raelet, you gotta let Ray. +% +If you want to see yourself in action, record your dreams. +% +If you want to think independently, you must imitate me. +% +If you were a zombie, I'd cry when i kill you +% +If you were everyone but one person i would listen to everyone else. +% +If you were looking for a sign, this is it. +% +If you were really thinking outside of the box, you'd be asking why it's a box you have to think outside of. +% +"If you were taught that elves caused rain, every time it rained, you'd see the proof of elves." +% +If you were to clone yourself, then have sex with that clone, would it be masturbation or incest? +% +If you won't shut the hell up, go watch TV so it can shut you the hell up. +% +I get insulted by ads telling me I could dress better. The CIA never tells me that, and you know why? Because they can actually see me. +% +I GET IT! +% +Ignorance can be cured -- but stupid is forever. +% +Ignorance can be cured--but stupid is forever. +% +Ignorance is bliss the best you can hope for +% +IGNORANCE IS EVERYWHERE +% +ignorance is knowledge +% +Ignorance isn't free! +% +Ignorance knows no boundaries. +% +IGNore fnords +% +ignoring enemies is the best way to fight +% +Ignoring politics won't make it disappear. +% +i got lonely and made love to my printer, but now i cant get lmnop of my wiener. +% +"I guess the joke's on me," she said +% +I hated popular things before hating popular things got popular. +% +I hate myself to sleep at night +% +I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs -- like customs officials. +% +I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs--like customs officials. +% +I hate prejudiced people. +% +I hate the very thought of the thought of you +% +i hate to break it to you but your mother is not a virgin +% +I hate you all, that is why you suffer so. +% +I... have become... comfortably numb +% +I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT AND THAT WHICH I DON'T HAVE I WILL COMPENSATE UNTIL I HAVE THAT , UNLESS SOMEONE WILL GIVE ME SOMETHING TO COMPENSATE THE REASON WHY I DON'T HAVE WHAT I WANT ! SO I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT ! +% +I have found a truth. +% +I have nothing to declare, except my genius. +% +I haven't lost my mind; it's back up on tape somewhere. +% +I haven't slept for ten days - that would be too long +% +I have seen the truth, and it didn't make sense! +% +I have wrestled with death. It is the most unexciting contest you can imagine. +% +I hear music! +% +I hope to god that when I die, people will make vile jokes about ME. +% +I... I believe in love +% +I intend to live forever or die trying. +% +"i" is an inversion of the absolute "!" +% +i is imaginary. +% +i just changed the world +% +I just hijacked your brain. You can have it back at the end of this sentence. +% +I just like to say quark, quark, quark, quark, quark, quark... +% +I just love the way you hate +% +I just talked with Jesus with my Ouija board, he told me to tell you "Sup" +% +I just walk right through the door... +% +I Just Want It To Be Over +% +I know a guy who's *so* emo, even the emo kids tell him to "get over it!" +% +I know of a counterexample, so let's revise the rule. +% +I know the road, I know where it goes; that's why I'm going so slow... +% +I know where I came from -- but where did all you zombies come from? +% +I know you, and I know your game... +% +I know you can explain everything, but can you predict anything? +% +I know your secret. +% +I like. +% +I like this one. It's dense. +% +I like winter. I like the cold. I like the sound of flowers dying. +% +I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. +% +I like you, Sali. That's why I'm going to kill you last. +% +I live like this 'cuz I like it; I've seen too much to pretend +% +I'll be back. +% +I'll get all of you someday. I'll wipe out your whole family. +% +I'll get all of you someday. I'll wipe out your whole family. +% +I'll heal your wounds, I'll set you free; I'm Jesus Christ on ecstasy +% +I'll let god decide whether god exists or not. +% +illness is a state of mind +% +Illusion is a revolutionary weapon +% +I lost My mood ring and I don't know how to feel about it. +% +I love my tribe. +% +I love the absolution of all jocks and preps -- Skate or die!!! +% +I love the absolution of all jocks and preps--Skate or die!!! +% +I love you. +% +I'm a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from man. +% +I'm a Fun Guy from Yuggoth. +% +Imagine a world without Religion. +% +Imagine that I were you. What would you do? +% +Imagine the unimaginable +% +I make a living off of saying badass shit +% +I'm already against the next war. +% +I'm already fighting the next war. +% +I'm always having premonitions way too late. +% +I managed to sneak up behind you while you were reading this. +% +I'm an anarchist and I vote! +% +I'm a solipsist, I don't see why other people aren't that way... +% +I may have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them. +% +I'm better than you. +% +I'm done counting statistics. +% +I'm fond of children -- except for boys. +% +I'm fond of children--except for boys. +% +I'm in this for the money. +% +I'm just a box in a cage. +% +I'm just a revved up youth on a thrill-kill rampage. +% +I'm kickass... +% +I'm looking for a cynical girl +% +Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time. +% +Immune to beatification, but not to beating +% +I'm not afraid of heights, its depths that get me. +% +I'm not applying for the fourth dimension. +% +I'm not as think as you stoned I am. +% +I'm not dead. +% +I'm not dead yet! +% +I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying a delicious creampie. +% +I'm not sure of what I should do -- when every thought I'm thinking of is you +% +I'm not wearing any underwear +% +I'm on thought rations +% +Impeach the constitution +% +Impressive; but how big's your dick? +% +impulsive decisions are adventurous decisions. +% +I'm sorry, did I assassinate your penguin? +% +I'm sorry, I become inaudible when I am shy. +% +"I'm sorry... my wife has no inner monologue" +% +I'm still trying to find pricing for billboard space. +% +I'm the one from the registry office. +% +I'm trying... very trying. +% +I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as long as a week sometimes to make it up. +% +I must look like a dork. +% +I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. +% +Im With (Biased Individual) +% +I'm with intelligent ---> +% +In an infinite universe, even nothing is possible. +% +In a perfect world, you and I probably wouldn't exist. So let's not hope for one. +% +In a society that has abolished all adventures, the only adventure left is to abolish society. +% +In a world this absurd the sane man realizes that he has no grasp on reality. +% +in case of confusion, don't blame me for telling you to be confusing me, you are confusing me ! +% +in case of duplicates, you should delete one copy? +% +In case of Emergency, Break Class. +% +In case of fire, burn. +% +In civilized life, where the happiness, and indeed almost the existence, of man depends so much upon the opinion of his fellow men, he is constantly acting a studied part. +% +In-con-CEIvable! +% +I need someone real bad. Are you real bad? +% +I need someone real bad. Are you real bad? +% +In empty spaces I twist and talk, and come down with the roar of thunder +% +I never met a repo man who didn't do speed. +% +I never remember a face, but I always forget a name. +% +I never thought paperweights were useful until I opened my window +% +I never told the truth, so I can never tell a lie +% +In every destructive impulse, there is also a creative one. +% +Infect Yourself. +% +In fighting amongst the slaves makes owning the slaves easier. +% +Infinity multiplied by zero leaves us nothing but hope. +% +In five years time, you will be dead and a stranger with your memories will inhabit your body. Don't worry, in ten years they'll be dead too. +% +Information so powerful you actually use less! +% +In here we're all anemic. +% +inheritance must be abolished +% +In Iraq you are a terrorist +% +Initiation is never over. +% +Initiative comes to those who wait. +% +In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. +% +In my world poo taste sweet. +% +Innocence is just another word for Ignorance. +% +Innocence Proves Nothing. +% +[Insert Poignant Statement Here] +% +[insert witty meme here] +% +inside a bathroom stall: +% +Insolence is the new revolutionary weapon. +% +Instant opinion: +% +Institutions will try to preserve the problem to which they are the solution. +% +Instructions on a fool proof plan +% +Instructions on a fool proof plan: step one, build a better idiot +% +Intelligence should never be multiplied into the realm of the truly arbitrary +% +in the absence of choice and knowledge, cultures often turn to religion. - dan simmons +% +In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. +% +In the Church, some men put on priestly robes to devote themselves to spreading the message of Christ just as other men do so at the prospect of sexually exploiting vulnerable children; likewise with the state. Some men and women become police officers in the hope of protecting the innocent and upholding the law while others do so to hit people with sticks and extort drugs or sexual favours from the victims of the state. +% +In the end, it all comes down to moving some muscles +% +In the end. there's a period. +% +In the event of an emergency, celebrate! +% +In the event of an emergency, we will always remember 9-11. +% +In the event of confusion: stop, think and die. +% +In the future, only the crowds are alone. +% +In the guise of noise, he receives a clarifying signal +% +In the long run we are all dead. +% +In the not too distant future, next Sunday A.D.... +% +In this world there are winners and there are losers. Then of course there are the others, who comprise the majority. +% +In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it. +% +In under 100 years, you will be dead. +% +Invent a problem +% +I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don't know. +% +I once waxed the floors of a nursing home, pulled off all the rubber feet on the walkers, and yelled "FIRE!" +% +I only kill to know I'm alive. +% +I only live about ten percent in this reality. +% +"I only live about ten percent in this reality." "So where's your summer cottage?" +% +I participate +% +I play Russian roulette in my head every day +% +iPods are made of people! +% +I pooped in the urinal on my birthday. +% +I prefer to think of them as the Ten Suggestions. +% +I promise... Or not.. Or do... Whatever. +% +I puked here +% +I really hope Kubrick did direct the moon landing, because that means there's footage of him screaming at a tear-strewn Buzz Aldrin. +% +I regret to inform you that you have been replaced with a robot. Please proceed to the nearest execution box. +% +I reject your reality and substitute my own! +% +I remember when all of you were semen. +% +irony is too mainstream for me +% +"Irrational" is the new "heretical." +% +I salivate at the sight of mittens. +% +I saw what you did just now +% +is discordianism a joke or a religion? what's the difference? +% +I see incipient boredom in the faces of all around me. woe is them! Especially that loser in my mirror. no way is that me... +% +I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle. +% +I see what you did there. +% +I see you're the brains of the operation. +% +... is exhibited in the radical endosemic character of the sign as such. +% +I shaved a message even more interesting than this one on the back of your head +% +I shit you not. +% +ISIS ISIS ISIS, RA RA RA! +% +Is it just me or are all uncles either really cool, or child molestors? +% +Is it mercy if it means misery for another? +% +is Joe apart of Nixon's Plumbers Union? +% +Isn't it obvious? We destroy the universe with quantum computers, therefore creating the universe! +% +"Isn't that how Shamanism works?" +% +I started to correct my mistakes, but realized what I was doing in time. +% +Is there an officer, problem ? +% +is there someone standing behind me? +% +is this a stupid question? +% +Is this enough validation for your insecurities? +% +Is this really worth it? +% +I SUPPORT MORE TROOPS THAN YOU. +% +i support the right to say stupid shit. +% +I SUPPORT THE WAR, JUST NOT THE TROOPS +% +I suspect God of being a leftist intellectual. +% +Is "who knows" a rhetorical question?(?) +% +I take a little solace in the fact that everyone who uses the term 'sheeple' learned it from someone else. +% +I take my comedy seriously, and my seriousness humorously. +% +I take part; you take part; he takes part; we take part; you all take part; they profit. +% +it can be helpful to keep going no matter what +% +It can't rain all the time +% +It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room-temperature. +% +It doesn't matter what you do. you still die. +% +It feels great to wake up and not know what day it is, doesn't it? +% +It happened to you too +% +It has been said that nothing is impossible; yet there are many people doing nothing every day. +% +I think all any of us really wants is connection, and I think as a culture we've somehow fooled ourselves into thinking there's exactly one person in the world who can give it to us. +% +I think it's safe to say that Dali fucking called it. +% +I think the Government likes you, he's looking at you. +% +i think, therefore i am an anarchist. +% +i think therefore i think i am +% +I think the terrorists just won. +% +I think we're all Bozos on this bus. +% +I think you had better start lining your hat with tinfoil. +% +it is a gift to the world not to have babies +% +it is a miracle you have survived this long +% +It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them. +% +It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. +% +It is better to have loved and lost than to have just lost. +% +It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so. +% +It is better to learn to embrace the darkness than to waste electricity turning on all the lights and making them explode. +% +It is better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. +% +It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. +% +It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. +% +It is difficult to repair a watch while falling from an airplane. +% +It is easier to be critical than correct. +% +It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. +% +It is easier to find a man who is true to his nature than true to his beliefs. +% +It is forbidden to forbid. +% +It is happening again. +% +It is hard for me to find the right thing to say when I find myself in a room full of cockroaches. +% +It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place. +% +it is hard to keep caring, but impossible to stop. +% +it is heroic to try to stop time +% +It is impossible to love and to be wise. +% +it is man's fate to outsmart himself +% +It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs. +% +It is no good for men to get all they wish to get. +% +It is not down on any map; true places never are. +% +It is not enough merely to succeed: one's friends must also fail. +% +It is not meet to act and speak like men asleep. +% +It is not the death of the government but rather the death of it's people that destroys freedom +% +It is not the horror of war that troubles me, it is the unseen horrors of peace +% +It is now safe to turn off your government +% +It isn't pessimism, it's realism. +% +It isn't the fall that kills the child, it is the splattering of the brain against the inside of the skull. +% +It is only too easy to catch people's attention by doing something worse than anyone else has dared to do it before. +% +It is only when you lose everything you will be free to do anything +% +it is probable that more humans exist in the past than in the future. but it is more probable that where humans cease to exist they begin to be something else entirely +% +It is the apocalypse. Do you know where your laxatives are? +% +It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree. +% +It is what it is and it aint what it aint. if it was what it aint, then it aint what it was - ryan dobson +% +it is what it is, but suffering is optional... +% +It is what it is, is it not? it is not. +% +It is what it is, is it not? it is not. What is it? +% +It might be worth it. +% +It only gets weirder from here! +% +It really is just a jump to the left. +% +"IT'S 2012: DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR GODS ARE?" +% +it's a headless blunder +% +It's all been done before. +% +It's all in the mind, ya know. +% +It's all or nothing. Accept no substitute! +% +It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. +% +It's always easier to just fall than to try to climb. +% +It's always today. +% +its a nameless dirt road that leads to the mother- lode, it's not even a path it's just the thinnest part of the grass +% +It's an Elder Thing -- you wouldn't understand. +% +It's an Elder Thing--you wouldn't understand. +% +It's an IBM, it's got an excuse. +% +It's a trap! +% +It's a very funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. +% +it's better to be a good person than a famous person +% +it's better to be lonely than to be with inferior people +% +it's better to be naive than jaded +% +It's better to light a candle than to curse the dark +% +it's better to study the living fact than to analyze history +% +It's bread and circuses, not bread, health, shelter, dignity and circuses +% +It's called EVIL, kid. +% +it's crucial to have an active fantasy life +% +It's easy to believe in Providence when your side is winning. +% +It seems safe to say that significant discovery, really creative thinking, does not occur with regard to problems about which the thinker is lukewarm. +% +its funny cause its true +% +It's getting worse, isn't it? +% +It's good to be the King. +% +It's hard being yourself while everybody is watching. +% +it's important to stay clean on all levels +% +it's just an accident that your parents are your parents +% +It's later than you think. +% +It's never too late to start. +% +It's nigh on time I started using this phrase. +% +It's not a benefit unless you use it. +% +it's not an afterlife; it's an afterthought. +% +It's not a real protest if you didn't get arrested. +% +its not. but maybe +% +It's not for you or I, Carruthers; nor for the regiment: it's for the Empire. +% +it's not good to hold too many absolutes +% +It's not lies if we know the truth. +% +It's not that life is too short, it's that death is too long. +% +It's not that they die, but that they die like sheep. +% +It's now +% +It's no wonder truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense. +% +It's ok that you don't know. +% +It's one thing to see death coming at the hands of your own creation. Oedipus and his father. Baron Frankenstein and his monster. William Henry Gates and Windows '09. +% +IT'S ONLY A JOKE UNTIL "THEY" GET THE PUNCHLINE +% +It's only due to modern technology that you can be as pleasingly plump as you are. +% +It's only illegal if you get caught. +% +it's on purpose that i live a purposeless life. +% +It's painful to suffer the bosses; it's even stupider to pick them. +% +It's quite easy to reason logically and still be wrong. +% +Its the penultimate countdown. +% +It's the quiet ones you've got to watch. Listening to them is pointless. +% +It's time to climb down off the cross, use the wood to build a bridge, and GET OVER IT! +% +It's time to make yourself proud- and everyone else a little nervous. +% +It's too late; you're part of it now. +% +It's true what they say about women. It's an irregular plural. +% +It's your fault we're cheating. +% +It's yuor pet hate. +% +It takes two to make a bastard. +% +It took The Digital Revolution to make selling cans of air profitable. +% +It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead. +% +It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. +% +It would be absurd to leave the Suez Canal and the Panama Canal to the unfettered control of the populations through whose territory they pass. +% +It would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids and their fucking dog! +% +It would seem that no matter how you slice it, it still comes up Velveeta. +% +i used to be religious, but then i discovered hotdogs. +% +I used to be self-actualized, now I'm just confused. +% +I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too. +% +Ivana used to be Donald's trompe l'oeil. +% +I've always maintained that one should never tangle with anything that has more teeth than the Osmond family. +% +I've come a long way since I've believed in anything +% +I've given up the search for reality; now I'm just looking for a good fantasy. +% +I've got 99 problems, and my '9' key being stuck is 9 of them. +% +I've got an overload of bottomless thought right here in my left fist +% +I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. +% +I've heard it said that beliefs are like assholes; everybody has one. That being said, I wish to inform you all, that my asshole, is the one true asshole! +% +I've run out of things to say. +% +I've seen how adults act. I think I'd rather act like a child +% +I've seen the future and I leave it all behind +% +I waited and waited and you never came. It's over. +% +I wanna cast magic missile at the darkness!!! +% +I wanna reach up and touch the sky; I wanna touch the sun but I don't wanna fry +% +I want this statement to be false. +% +I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers. +% +I want to exist, therefore I am thinking. +% +I want your money back. +% +I wasted this life on the Bodhisattva Promise, and all i got was YUO! +% +I will never lie to you. +% +I wish I could go home right now; there is nothing to do here. +% +i wish i had tried. +% +'I wish you could hear my voice the way I hear it.', Murtaza Rai +% +I wish you humans would leave me alone. +% +I won't stop until I get to Normal +% +I would have you know, that I am much bigger in real life. +% +I wouldn't know how to act if I weren't in trouble. +% +I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. +% +I wrote on a wall. Take that, society! +% +Jake liked his women how he liked his kiwi fruit; firm yet yielding, sweet yet tart, and covered with short fuzzy brown hair. +% +Je suis un chou-fleur sous un echequier enorme. +% +Jesus died for your sensei. +% +Jesus is 6. +% +Jesus' love for you is like a berserker. +% +Jesus loves me, but he can't stand you. +% +Jesus loves war! +% +Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole. +% +Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole. +% +Jesus made a good profit +% +Jesus may save, but my chippy delivers! +% +Jesus was a Buddhist +% +Jesus was an Arab Jew +% +Jesus was a profit. +% +Jesus was a reverse necrophiliac: he died and got a rise out of it. +% +jesus was a roman mole +% +j.m. barrie was an inncocent +% +JOEY! JOEY! JOEY THE LEMUR! +% +John was a quiet gentleman who liked to work in the garden, read literary works, and devour kittens. +% +Join the Cthulhu Corps; it's not just a job, it's a higher position under an elder god. +% +Join the revolution today, don't die tomorrow. +% +JUMPIN' JESUS ON A POGO STICK! +% +Just as Schopenhauer predicted, absolutely nothing is happening. +% +Just because I conflict myself doesn't mean I'm right. +% +Just because it's common sense doesn't mean it's true. +% +Just because it's counter culture doesn't mean it's true +% +Just because it's not wrong doesn't make it right. +% +Just because you are not paranoid doesn't mean they are not coming to get you. +% +just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not after you +% +Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. +% +Just because you wake up, doesn't mean you have to stop dreaming. +% +just believing something can make it happen +% +Just conform, it's safer that way. +% +Just do it. +% +Just give up and go crazy. +% +just one pill away from the koo-koo's nest, aren't we? +% +Just wait until the invisible hand of the market fingers *YOU*! +% +Just what we need, more squirrel's with machine guns +% +Keep quiet about this. +% +Keep reaching for that fruit, monkey! +% +keep something in reserve for emergencies +% +Keep taking the right path and you'll eventually go left, so go crazy! rebel now and have a happy retirement! +% +Keep up and be ahead +% +keep your eyes open +% +Keep your hands to yourself or you won't be allowed to have them. +% +Keep your mouth shut, bugs are about. +% +KICK NADS. KICK NADS NOW. +% +Kill em' ALL, AND LET RAPTOR JESUS SORT EM OUT. +% +killing is unavoidable but nothing to be proud of +% +Kill time before it kills you! +% +Kill two birds with one stone. Feed the homeless to the hungry. +% +Kill two birds with one stone. Feed the homeless to the hungry. +% +Kill your Idle +% +Kill Your Idols. +% +Kill your idols before they kill you +% +kill your idols befor they kill you +% +Kill your imagination. +% +KING KONG DIED FOR YOUR SINS +% +Kissing a stranger and receiving a slap is better than arriving home in safe routine and wondering what could have been. +% +Klein bottle for sale. Inquire within. +% +Klein bottle for sale. Inquire within. +% +Knock yourself out. +% +Knowing is hard. +% +knowing yourself lets you understand others +% +know it's naught! +% +knowledge should be advanced at all costs +% +Know: Purchase necessary. +% +Kryten, unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit! +% +labor is a life-destroying activity +% +lack of charisma can be fatal +% +La-la la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la! +% +Language is speaking you. +% +lass mich arzt, ich bin durch! +% +Last time I was stoned, I tried to eat an airport. +% +Later today, look for an opportunity to meet your future self +% +Laugh +% +Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either. +% +Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either. +% +Laugh at this sentence, please. +% +Laugh, even if you are screaming inside. Smile because the world doesn't care if you feel like crying. +% +Laugh for 10-15 mins or until hysterically screaming +% +Laughter is never inappropriate. +% +Laughter is the most effective form of terrorism. +% +Laws make criminals. +% +Laziness is a virtue. +% +Lead Ashtray +% +Leadership means taxes +% +Leap before you look +% +Learning isn't the same thing as being taught. +% +Learn to Dis-earn +% +Learn with other people errors, you can't do all of them personally. +% +Leave me the hell alone! +% +Lego my Ego +% +leisure time is a gigantic smoke screen +% +Less is a possibilty +% +Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. +% +Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. +% +Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. +% +Let's all get together and throw flingbobs +% +"Let's all take a stand against activism!" +% +Let's be cruel! +% +Let's go stomp those weirdies for Jesus! +% +Let's please save all of the monsters from certain (and uncertain) death! +% +Let us prey +% +levity sucks. +% +Levity Sucks! +% +Liberals don't believe they deserve anything they own; conservatives think they're entitled to everything they've stolen. +% +Liberty was that thing you lost when you "forgot" to vote because you took the wrong turn off the interstate and couldn't be arsed to turn around and go back, thirty seconds out of your way. +% +Liberty was that thing you lost when you had the opportunity to protest the bullshit Patriot Acts, the warrantless wiretapping, and the fact you know your neighbor's sister's boyfriend has been in trouble with the law only because his name is "Abdul." +% +Liberty was that thing you lost when you relished being a dumb American rather than an informed world inhabitant. +% +Liberty was that thing you lost while you were scratchin' your balls on the couch and watching the latest "America's Got Talent!" episode. +% +Liberty was that thing you lost while you were spending $10 in gas, to drive to the Circle K to buy a $2.50 64-oz. soda. +% +Life comes at you fast, if you're lucky. +% +Life -- do you grok it? +% +Life has no rehearsals, only performances. +% +Life is a game of bridge -- and you've just been finessed. +% +Life is a hard life. +% +Life is a joke - death is the punchline +% +Life is an online game and I rolled a shitty Paladin. +% +Life is a perpetual instruction in cause and effect. +% +life is a shitty videogame, with great graphics. +% +Life is but a meme within a meme. +% +Life is just one non-sequitur after fruitbat. +% +Life is like a hair on a toilet seat.You always get pissed off in the end. +% +Life is like light bulbs. only the walrus knows why. +% +Life is like pudding; soft and squishy... +% +Life is not a free show...the price is life. +% +Life is not only for you. +% +Life is not rhetorical. +% +Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination. +% +Life is one big theatre stage, only without an audience. +% +Life is only one damn thing after another. +% +Life is ours. We live it our way. +% +Life is ours. We live it our way. +% +Life is price less. +% +life is sacred until 18-vote no on abortion yes on cannon fodder +% +life is short.. +% +Life is sometimes like a pizza round: hot, greasy, and delivered by a guy named 'Tony'. +% +Life is the art of avoiding it's own conclusion. +% +Life is the leading cause of world fatalities +% +Life is the stuff that happens to you while you're making other plans. +% +Life is Too Short to Rush +% +Life is truly quite absurd, but with a little effort we could make it completely ridiculous. +% +Life's a gamble: are you just playing for pennies? +% +Life's a laugh and then die. +% +Life's a laugh and then you cry. +% +Life's a Whatever, and then you... maybe +% +Life size models of Cthulhu, on sale now! +% +Life's short, Fail Hard! +% +Life's tough, ain't it? +% +Like many of the finer things in life, sex often comes with a side of fries. +% +Like the Universe, this sentence cannot be stricken from ever existing. +% +Lions: 5, Christians: 0. +% +Listen to the noise. +% +Listen to what the person next to you is saying to you. Then continue the conversation in Rhymes! +% +listen when your body talks +% +Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse. +% +Live as if something actually depends upon your actions. +% +Live fast, live slow, die anyway. +% +Live in privacy; die in public. +% +Live. Learn. Leap..Love. ....Keep +% +Live on Earth as though you were colonizing Mars. +% +Live without dead time [time of boredom, time at work] - enjoy without chains. +% +live your life such that if you wrote your biography nobody would believe it +% +Living in the past devalues currency. +% +Living is like holding your breath. if you do it too long you die. +% +Logically, <4 is better than <3. +% +LOL, CONTEXT! +% +lol, marginalized prophets. +% +Lol, reality. +% +Look at me, I'm raising consciousness! +% +Look at the finger!! +% +Look behind you, they're looking behind you. +% +Look for people picking their nose in their car. +% +looking back is the first sign of aging and decay +% +Look out, you're gonna craaash. +% +Looks like someone divided by zero. +% +Look up. +% +Look where all this talking got us, baby. +% +lOVE AND LOYALTY TO A GOVERNMENT IS STOCKHOLM SYNDROME +% +Love as it exists in society is merely the mingling of two fantasies and the contact of two skins. +% +Love is a many-splintered thing +% +Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac. +% +Love is the illusion that you are an individual. +% +Love my label like myself +% +Love's as good as soma! +% +love to see it happen +% +love your enemy +% +loving animals is a substitute activity +% +low expectations are good protection +% +LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands. +% +Lucifer goes to church. +% +Luck is not a factor. Hope is not a strategy. Fear is not an option. +% +Madness is a fish waiting to be groomed. +% +MAGICK IS REAL!!!* +% +Mail Bombs: My Anti-Drug +% +Make a man a fire and he'll be warm through the night. +% +Make it so! +% +MAKE IT STOP +% +Make like nature: select all. +% +Makes little sense when applied to its quotation +% +"Makes little sense when applied to its quotation" makes little sense when applied to its quotation +% +make sure you get all your daily requirements of violence and miniatures +% +Make up your words. +% +Make weirdness normal. +% +Make your own mistakes, not somebody else's. +% +Making something illegal only makes it illegal. +% +Malpractice makes perfect +% +man created god so that he could win every argument +% +Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. +% +Mankind has been on a bad trip for a long time now. +% +Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. +% +Man's character is his fate. +% +Man's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's a metaphor? +% +Man steps in with a terminal grin... blue skies turn to grey... +% +manual labor can be refreshing and wholesome +% +Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought. +% +Man would sooner have the Void for his purpose than be void of Purpose. +% +Many Tyrants become clowns, but few clowns become tyrants +% +maps, maps, maps, maps, maps, maps, maps, maps, maaaaaaaaaps, wonderful maps... +% +Mars needs women. +% +Mary had a little lamb +% +Mashed potatoes can be your friend. +% +mastarbation is the best way to build and practice your imagination +% +Masturbation is self-improvement. +% +masturbation: not just fun, it's a survival skill. +% +Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it! +% +Maximum capacity eight persons. +% +maybe partying will help +% +maybe tomorrow will be even MORE perfect. +% +Maybe you don't because you waste your time thinking you could. +% +Maybe you're a product too +% +May the road rise up and fall on you. +% +May the wind be always at your back... +% +Meanwhile everyone wants to breathe and nobody can breathe and many say, "We will breathe later". And most of them don't die because they are already dead. +% +Measure once, cut twice +% +meet us in orbit +% +Megaton Man on patrol! +% +meme is what a child yells when raising their hand to be chosen +% +Men always generalise +% +Men and women are the worst people on earth. +% +Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking. +% +Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking. +% +men are not monogamous by nature +% +Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. +% +Men still remember the first kiss after women have forgotten the last. +% +Mentally Retarded Zen Masters +% +Metallica Still Sucks +% +Michael jackson was killed by the illuminati +% +Mind the malicious gap. +% +Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your half-breed interference. +% +Minimalism can get pretty tricky. +% +minimalism is about the big picture +% +minimalism is about the details +% +Mission accomplished. +% +Mistakes are at the very base of human thought, embedded there, feeding the structure like root nodules. If we were not provided with the knack for being wrong, we could never get anything useful done. We think our way along by choosing between right and wrong alternatives, and the wrong choices have to be made as often as the right ones. We get along in life this way. +% +Mistakes aren't always regrets +% +MITCHELL! Even his name says, "Uh, is that a beer?" +% +Mmm. I forgot about that. +% +Mmm. I forgot about that. +% +Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. +% +Moderation is for monks. +% +Moderation is... luke-warm tea, the devils own brew! +% +moderation kills the spirit +% +Mohammed made a good profit +% +Moisten pellets with water to stimulate feeding behavior. +% +Molesting the walls with graffiti will be strictly punished. +% +Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right, they just seem a little weird +% +Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose. +% +Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life. +% +Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING. +% +MONEY CREATES TASTE +% +'Money doesn't grow on trees?' Yes it does. It's paper. +% +money has no real value. they do not even reflect the planet resources. +% +Money is speech. People are mute. +% +Money is truthful. When a man speaks of honor, make him pay cash. +% +Money is truthful. When a man speaks of honor, make him pay cash. +% +Money often costs too much. +% +Monogamy is Perverted. +% +monomania is a prerequisite of success +% +morals are for little people +% +mostly you should mind your own business +% +most men secretly hate women, and most women secretly think they deserve it +% +most of what you live is pure imagination : marriage, money, name, nationality, religion, job, etc. all are human inventions. +% +most people are not fit to rule themselves +% +Most people do not know how to behave in a massacre. +% +Most people secretly think they deserve it. +% +Most women secretly hate men, and most men secretly think they deserve it. +% +Mother nature don't give a fuck. +% +mothers shouldn't make too many sacrifices +% +Move within the crowd +% +Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. +% +Mow Mow Boppa Mow Mow Mow +% +much was decided before you were born +% +My armor is contempt +% +My biology I know. You I worry about. +% +My biology I know. You I worry about. +% +My, don't we all look _smashing_ in red. +% +My father warned me about men and booze... but he never said anything about women and cocaine. +% +My father was a good woman. +% +My favorite food is squirrel, but I want to fight with glory. +% +My favorite weapon is the look in your eyes +% +My friend Goo has a real time too; she always knows just what to do +% +My god is bigger. +% +My inner child can beat up your inner child. +% +My love... i will find you where ever you are... +% +My moral standing is lying down. +% +my narcissistic STUDpop impregnated your hatriolic automom. +% +My oh my! Life sure is easier with my new Salad Shooter (R) ! +% +My other outlet for my chaotic impulses is YOUR MOM. +% +My pockets went to Distopia +% +My powers are beyond your understanding! +% +My question is simply this: Are you menstruating? +% +myth can make reality more intelligible +% +My whole life is a darkroom, one... big... dark... room. +% +Narrow Mindedness is an awful condition to contract. +% +Nationalism is more pathetic than LARPing. +% +National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity. +% +Nature loves to hide. +% +Nature never deceives us; it is always we who deceive ourselves. +% +Necessity never made a good bargain. +% +Needs keep ahead of percepts +% +Neither God nor master! +% +Nemo me impune lacessit. +% +Never appeal to a man's "better nature". He may not have one. +% +Never appeal to a man's "better nature". He may not have one. +% +Never ask for anything ... especially from those more powerful than you +% +Never attempt to distract a masturbating gorilla. +% +Never attribute to intelligence that which can be adequately explained by sheer dumb luck. +% +Never eat more than you can lift. +% +NEVER FUCKING PRAY. You don't know what is listening. +% +Never give an inch! +% +Never go up against a Sicilian when death's on the line! +% +Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes, 'cuz by then, he's a mile away, you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever the hell you want to. +% +Never mind that. +% +Never mind. You wouldn't believe me anyway. +% +Never overlook the merely obvious +% +Never reconstruct the indestructible +% +Never sign a contract including any of the phrases "sort of", kind of", or "and stuff". +% +never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. (unless tribbles are involved) +% +Never trust a cop with a rubber glove. +% +Never trust anyone who talks for a living. +% +never trust someone simply because they tell the truth +% +Never trust translation programs online - they mislead you - happend to me often! +% +Never trust what you read. +% +Never try to convince Anybody. The best way to do so is by talking as convincingly as possible. +% +Never try to outstubborn a cat. +% +Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. +% +Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it. +% +"Newfags can't triforce"? +% +Newfags can't triforce +% +Nice computers don't go down... +% +Nice one. You got away with it. +% +Nid yw Cymru ar werth! +% +Nietzsche thought he was the Antichrist or Dionysus, but that was after the syphilis crossed the blood-brain barrier. +% +Nil illegitimo carborundum. +% +no absolutes! +% +No amount of faith can undo a fact +% +No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail. +% +Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! +% +nobody is in charge +% +Nobody is innocent - life fucks everyone. +% +Nobody is perfect. Trust your government. +% +Nobody likes a paragon of perfection. +% +Nobody was home, but I answered the door anyway. +% +"No Comment" is a comment. +% +No compromise with the enemy, even if they're us +% +No direction is the right direction +% +no drugs are no solution neither. +% +no end finding curious or interesting pages that eat away time, never knowing if that time could be better spent... until you spend it and find out! +% +No forbidding allowed. +% +No girdle ever cured a pregnancy +% +No girdle ever cured a pregnancy. +% +No good deed is left unpunished +% +no good deed will go unpunished! +% +No good plan goes unpunished +% +No hidden agenda in this message here, no sir. +% +No hidden window here. +% +noise can be hostile +% +No, just the nipple-cones, officer, just the nipple-cones. +% +No man is an island, but then no man is a potato salad, either. +% +No man was ever so much deceived by another as by himself. +% +No matter how bad it is, there's always worse. +% +No matter how good it is, there's always better. +% +No matter how much spin, effort, lunch or dinner you give the media, they will not fail to notice whether you have won or lost. +% +No matter how right we are, we always might possibly be wrong. +% +No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers. +% +No matter where you are, there you go? Wait a second. +% +No matter where you are, there you go? Wait a second. +% +No matter where you go, there I am. +% +No matter where you go... there you are. +% +No more lip from you, bub. +% +NO MORE MINDLESS GRAFFITI +% +Non consensual subjective reality can only become concrete when you stop abiding by limitations. Even concrete can be fluid in it's concrete-ness. +% +No one can tell you're faking it, too. +% +No one cares if you lie on the internet. +% +No one gets out alive. +% +No one has died for your sins +% +No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. +% +No one is stopping you +% +Noone knows our destination. +% +No one noticed. +% +No one will EVER thank you for shuffling along quietly like that. +% +No pain, no pain. +% +No perception leads to self deception. +% +no problem is so big or so complicated that it can't be run away from. - Linus [in 'Peanuts'] +% +No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it. +% +NO Purchase Necessary. +% +NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. +% +No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious. +% +No reason to get excited, the thief, he kindly spoke, +% +No replastering, the structure is rotten. +% +Normal +% +Normal is not the same thing as average. +% +Normality = boring-reality +% +Normality is a luxury +% +normal men have killed perpaps 100,000,000 of their fellow men in the last 50 years. +% +Nostalgia is necrophilia. +% +Not all addicts do drugs. +% +Not all people are human. +% +Not a Restroom +% +No theory has been universally accepted. +% +Nothing bad ever happens if you don't do anything. +% +Nothing changes more constantly than the past; for the past that influences our lives does not consist of what happened, but of what men believe happened. +% +Nothing happens for a reason; when it does, pay attention. +% +nothing is something +% +Nothing is true. Everything is permitted. +% +Nothing is true. Everything is permitted. +% +Nothing Is true, Everything Is permitted +% +Nothing knits man to man like the frequent passage from hand to hand of cash. +% +Nothing makes an entrance more inviting than a nice pair of knockers. +% +Nothing quite like the feel of something new... +% +Nothing real requires faith. +% +nothing rhymes with poetry. +% +Nothing Serious Ever Happens +% +Nothing so much prevents our being natural as the desire to seem so. +% +Nothing that exists is strange. If it's counter-intuitive, you just need a new intuition. +% +"NOTICE: It is forbidden to notice. Your notice of this notice was noticed. Keep in touch." +% +NOTICE: Your notice of this sign has been noticed and noted. Thank you. +% +not valid without receipt +% +Now Accepting New Patience +% +Now all of us can create our own cattle pens! +% +No weapon is a substitute for zeal. +% +Now is all you have. +% +Now Loading... (on the inside door of the elevator) +% +Now now, don't go starting any revolutions! -the Mgt. +% +Now that you've read this I'll follow you home. +% +Now walk 30 steps southwest. +% +Now you know how Cattle Feel. +% +NO YOU! +% +No you don't understand, see you don't understand... +% +No, you're not a rebel. +% +obama is a nigger. and so am i. all hail eris! +% +Obedience crimes: Thank you for your cooperation. +% +Objectively speaking, you ARE an object. Subjectively speaking, I AM a subject. +% +Objectivity is subjective +% +Obsessive preoccupation with inappropriate goals +% +Obsolete power corrupts obsoletely +% +Occam was never the target of a conspiracy. +% +occasionally principles are more valuable than people +% +Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal. +% +Of course I still love you. Now stop whining and let me shoot you. +% +Of course I still love you. Now stop whining and let me shoot you. +% +Of course it belongs to me, I'm a communist. +% +Of course it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake? +% +Of course it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake? +% +Of course you realize this means war. +% +offer very little information about yourself +% +Often I think I am a special agent of Billy Graham. +% +often you should act like you are sexless +% +Of the limited time in your life, you choose to waste most of it reading stupid memes. +% +OGLUM BAK GiT! +% +Oh, and the walrus was Paul. +% +Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home! +% +Oh dear, I've gone and inflated my ego. +% +Oh for the wings of any bird, other than a battery hen... +% +Oh, fuck! You did it just like i told you to! +% +Oh, fuck! You did it just like i told you to! +% +Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner... +% +Oh, my God! ARTHUR, I HAVE POCKETS! +% +Oh, no, not again. +% +"OH NO YOU DID" +% +Oh! sorry, I didn't recognise you with your clothes on. +% +Oh, squirt. +% +Okay, everybody in this room who's telekinetic, raise my hand. +% +Okay, everyone out of the gene pool! +% +Okay now recite the alphabet from 0 +% +Okay, something here's really fucked up. +% +Okay, you guys having sex here, let's see some skill rolls! +% +ok, let's be serious for a moment and face it: any kind of vampirism, and i'm thinking of the capitalist kind, is high treason to humankind. we should treat it as such. +% +On a scale of 1 to 4, what are your feelings about the colour green? +% +(on A toilet door) Out of order! Use the stairs. +% +Once, I stood in a queue, pretending to be just like everybody else. And then (without once letting my mask slip) I boarded the bus and travelled home. But when I got home... OH HOW I LAUGHED. +% +Once you leave this room, will anything change? +% +On Earth there is no reckoning. +% +One Billion "Hope Dollars"! Small Change we can believe in! +% +One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. +% +One can repair ignorance. Stupidity is a point of view. +% +One day you will die; it could be tomorrow, unexpectedly and painfully. So why not buy yourself something nice? +% +One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Flu Fish +% +One is the only quantity both complete and consistent. +% +one love +% +One man's bomb is another man's bum +% +One man's theology is another man's belly laugh. +% +One repays a teacher poorly if they remain a student - Nietzsche +% +One should cry to find purpose and laugh to forget it. +% +One should not act and speak as if one were asleep. +% +One who defends those around him may be brave, but is also stupid. I wished I was stupid, sometimes. +% +Only Americans are real humans +% +Only antisocial behaviour can be effective against society. +% +Only a true artist can fail to draw a perfect circle. +% +Only happy people get to be happy. +% +Only idiots don't point out the common sense because it is common sense to point out the obvious when +% +Only rats stay bought +% +Only the insane prosper +% +Only the lavender prairie dogs know the key to unlock the secret of the tumble-weeds. +% +only the robots are on time anymore +% +Only the winners decide what were war crimes. +% +ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE! +% +Only you can prevent forest fires. +% +On the left side of my brain, there is nothing right, on the Right side of my brain, there is nothing left. +% +Ooooooeee! They sure serve up them four-year-olds good, don't they? +% +opacity is an irresistible challenge +% +Open horse fucking +% +Open your eyes! No, you were right, better keep those fuckers closed. +% +Open your mind, but be sure to carry an umbrella. +% +Open your mind to closed-mindedness. +% +operating under the illusion +% +Operatives are standing by. +% +opossums are death dealing devices and that's all i'm going to say on the matter. +% +Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them. +% +Opportunity doesn't knock +% +Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. +% +Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. +% +Optimism is easy if you ignore everything and drink a lot. +% +Ordinarily, I'd take you in my court and try you and hang you. But if you've got money for whiskey, I guess we can dispense with those proceedings. +% +Orwell wasn't right... he was dead on. +% +Orwell was right. +% +Our cause is a secret within a secret, a secret that only another secret can explain; it is a secret about a secret veiled by a secret. +% +Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds. +% +Our depression du jour is from a loss of confidence +% +OUR DREAMS, THEIR NIGHTMARE +% +Our god's the FUN god! Our god's the SUN god! Ra! Ra! Ra! +% +Our god's the FUN god! Our god's the SUN god! Ra! Ra! Ra! +% +OUT OFN ORDER +% +Out of Order- put on something that can't possibly be out of order. +% +out of sight, out of mind - invisible, insane. +% +outside a repository for art: "But . . . is it an art museum?" +% +Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. +% +Overall, there was a smell of fried onions. +% +pain can be a very positive thing +% +Pain is an illusion. An illusion that really, really hurts. +% +Pain looks good on other people; that's what they're for. +% +Pain = stupidity +% +Pain unlike pleasure wears no mask. +% +PANTS? +% +Paradox isn't. +% +'Paradox ridicules the sound of irony laughing at you'- +% +Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you. +% +Part of me lives in this Universe. +% +Passive aggressive people who leave notes around telling people what to do can go fuck themselves. +% +Pass the pickles. +% +Patriotism is for foreigners +% +Patriotism isn't about being a better citizen, it's about demanding a better country. +% +Pawn Takes king. +% +Pay careful attention to the Tao-Jones Average. +% +Peace is a graveyard. +% +Peanuts are Peanuts +% +Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo. +% +peer amid the all-seeing eye. +% +Penguin lust! +% +People are blinky +% +people are boring unless they are extremists +% +People are Human. +% +people are nuts if they think they are important +% +People are revolting +% +People don't kill terrorists, guns do: SUPPORT OUR RIFLES! +% +People fear death, and religion is like their 'get out of jail free' card +% +People hate good ideas, and that's why we hate the communists. +% +People humiliating a salami! +% +People in glass houses should've paid more attention to Al Gore +% +People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future. +% +People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. +% +people who don't work with their hands are parasites +% +People who emit Cherenkov radiation make me nervous. +% +People who have not suffered are often insufferable. +% +people who say no just need to be convinced harder +% +People who work get bored when they don't work. +% +People will buy anything that's one to a customer. +% +people won't behave if they have nothing to lose +% +Percepi et esse. +% +Perception is nine tenths of the law +% +Personally, I blame society +% +Perversion is a state of mind. +% +Perverts aren't the only ones to molest your kids. +% +Philosophy is masturbation, it achieves hardly anything and won't get you far in life, but it feels good so we do it anyway. +% +Philosophy is the systematic abuse of a terminology specifically designed for that purpose +% +physical culture is second best +% +Pig's in zen... +% +Pink Floyd lied to me? +% +pink is ok, too +% +Plagiarism is necessary; progress implies it. +% +Plan early, plan twice +% +planning for the future is escapism +% +play freebird! +% +playing it safe can cause a lot of damage in the long run +% +Please be silent while your civil rights matrix is reconfigured. +% +please change beliefs +% +Please clean up after your god. +% +Please cue at this point --> +% +Please do not panic. Reality is leaking. Everything will be under control shortly. +% +"Please do not use other door." +% +Please don't care about this sign. +% +"Please feel free." +% +Please go away. +% +Please go back 3 squares +% +Please leave the Communist Party as clean on leaving as you would like to find it on entering. +% +Please litter, landfills are bad for the environment. +% +Please look away immediately. +% +Please panic: everything is under control. +% +Please press any door to continue +% +Please remain calm: All panicking is being taken care of by your locally elected official. +% +Please save the monsters who are getting killed +% +Please stop, it only encourages them. +% +Please use other door. +% +Please use your natural reaction. +% +Plebiscite: Whether we say yes or no, it makes chumps of us. +% +Poetry is in the street. +% +Poking shit with a stick accomplishes nothing, except makes it smell even worse. +% +police no longer have to tell knock-knock jokes +% +Politician, govern thyself. +% +Politicians and diapers should be changed often, and for the same reason +% +Politicians do not rule our lives: a million filing clerks do. +% +Politicians do not rule our lives: a million paper pushers do. +% +Politics, broken down into Latin. Poli meaning many, Tics being blood sucking parisites. +% +Politics has become a game of meaningless, mindless battles, conducted by unscrupulous methods and people, designed to transform even the most serious policy debates into sport. +% +Politics is a strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. +% +politics is used for personal gain +% +Poor american christians: trapped between the sin city and the big apple. +% +Popes needed +% +Population Growth does not constitute Human Advancement +% +Portions of the preceding were recorded. As for the rest of it, I'm very much afraid it was all in your mind. +% +Portions of the preceding were recorded. As for the rest of it, I'm very much afraid it was all in your mind. +% +Pose as a spy, work as a friend. +% +POSTED: Posting posted signs is forbidden, especially for purposes of forbidding hunting or trespassing. +% +Post-modernism means never having to say that you're wrong +% +Post "Warmer" and "Colder" signs around and see if anyone follows them. +% +potential counts for nothing until it's realized +% +Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat. +% +Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat. +% +power for those who can fuck it +% +Power to the Imagination. +% +Practice Monopolygamy. +% +practice random acts +% +Preparedness damages resourcefulness. +% +Preserve disorder +% +Pretend this is Reality +% +PRETEND THIS says the one thing that would make you question your beliefs +% +Pretend to be real. +% +Pretty soon you'll get arrested for reading this. +% +private property created crime +% +PRIVATIZE THE IRS! POWER TO THE PEOPLE! +% +problem solver or problem maker +% +Procrastination is the thief of time. +% +Profanity: the single language in which all programmers are expert. +% +Prohibition makes the heart grow fonder. +% +Proletarian revolutions are notably ineffective when the ruling class is composed of gods. +% +Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword. +% +Proper noun noun proper noun noun verb verb proper noun noun +% +Property doth make cowards of us all +% +Property is theft. +% +Prophets profit. +% +Prop Up The System! +% +Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater. +% +Protection when you least expect it +% +PROTECT US FROM WHAT WE WANT +% +Prudence is a rich, ugly old maid courted by incapacity. +% +pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled a bullet out of my chest +% +Pull Gods metaphysical finger. +% +pursuing pleasure for the sake of pleasure will ruin you +% +push yourself to the limit as often as possible +% +Put down mass media hysteria for revolutionary euphoria! Now only $2.99! +% +Pwn free and clear. +% +Q: Can you think for yourself? +% +Quack! +% +Quantum Express: When you absolutely, positively, don't know where it's going or when it needs to be there. +% +Que sera, serotonin. +% +Question Authority -- and the authorities will question you. +% +Question Authority--and the authorities will question you. +% +Question Authority; that's an order! +% +Question...everything? +% +Question lobotomy. +% +Question reality. +% +Quick! Everyone count to zero! +% +Quick! Go home! You're missing your favorite television program! +% +QUICK! PICTURE YOUR GRANDPARENTS HAVING SEX! +% +Quick! What are your last words?! +% +Quick, while no one is looking! +% +Quiet! The ears have walls! +% +Quite content to sit on this fence... quite content, now a little bit older... +% +RAAAIIID!!!??? +% +RAGE IS PEACE +% +Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. +% +raise boys and girls the same way +% +random mating is good for debunking sex myths +% +randy savage died for your sins +% +Rational explanations only trump irrational explanations with other rational people. +% +read banned books +% +Reading is not understanding. +% +Read less, live more. +% +Read out loud. +% +Read this like you would a good book. +% +read this very carefully i will only write this once. +% +Real eyes, realize, real lies. +% +Reality does not give a shit about your opinions +% +Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. +% +Reality is a work in progress. +% +Reality is a Work In Progress +% +Reality is not a persistent hallucination. +% +Reality is one big conspiracy against faith. +% +Reality is rated R, too. +% +Reality is the Illusion of Reason. +% +Reality is the original Rorschach Test. +% +Reality is the temporary resultant of the struggle between rival gangs of programmers. +% +Reality is unbelievable. +% +Reality lacks discretionary power +% +reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)? +% +reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)? +% +Reality without drugs would fuck anybody up +% +realize that ignorance is bless +% +really +% +really rugged, ghetto looking graffiti with messages like: +% +really, ya know what we always say,fukem +% +Real punk rockers don't smile. +% +Reason has nightmares of dancing. +% +Reason is the Illusion of Reality. +% +Rebel against this command. +% +Rebels died for your right to obey. +% +rechanneling destructive impulses is a sign of maturity +% +recluses always get weak +% +Recycle your pets +% +Recycle your pets (not mine but it's a classic) +% +redistributing wealth is imperative +% +Reduce Distill Purify Teach +% +reduce humans +% +re-evolution! +% +Refuse to be re-branded. +% +Refuse to be remastered +% +Refuse to be terrorized, people! +% +Refuse to mind the gap. +% +regarding the cross, only the vatican and the queen know the answer... and neither one is telling. +% +Regret and worry should cancel each other out. +% +Reinvent retardation. +% +Rejoin the human race. +% +relativity is no boon to mankind +% +Relax, in the safety of your own delusions, don't do it. +% +Reliance on others is a weakness for the strong, but a strength for the weak. +% +religion causes as many problems as it solves +% +Religion is a man staring at a tree and wondering who is moving the leaves. +% +religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. +% +Remember: As a whole we are just a mute a away from asshole +% +Remember: as a whole we are just a silent a away from aswhole +% +-----Remember , everything is possible , except if you can not do it. +% +REMEMBER: KING KONG DIED FOR YOUR SINS +% +Remember: The sky is actually out, not up. +% +Remember the . . . what was it again? +% +Remember to forget sometimes. +% +Remember to lie to your loved ones +% +Remember, we have to get the baby out of the oven today. +% +remember you always have freedom of choice +% +Removal of this wall prohibited by order of government. +% +Remove this flier to signal operatives +% +Remove this sticker after device has successfully camoflagued. +% +Remove your company loyalty genes. +% +Repeat after me: I will think for myself. +% +Repetition is a form of change. +% +repetition is the best way to learn +% +Replacing one silly belief for another doesn't mean you are enlightened. +% +RESIST THIS IMPULSE +% +resolutions serve to ease our conscience +% +Return to this spot at __ o'clock for further information. +% +Revelations will not be televised. +% +Reverend! +% +revolution begins with changes in the individual +% +"Revolution" is the action of moving in a circle; "Freedom" is counter-revolutionary. +% +revolution means going around in circles. +% +Revolution: The act of going around in a circle, eventually winding up back where you started. +% +reward failure, BUY AMERICA +% +Ridicule may lawfully be employed where reason has no hope of success. +% +Right now, someone is having fun without you +% +R.I.P - Habeus Corpus 1782-2006 +% +roads less traveled often lead to happier places +% +Robots can Time, are you? +% +Roll again. +% +romantic love was invented to manipulate women +% +Rome wasn't built from a couch. +% +Roots are for vegetables +% +Roses are red, she said, and violents are blue +% +Rose tint my world and keep me safe from the trouble and pain... +% +routine is a link with the past +% +routine small excesses are worse than then the occasional debauch +% +Rub her feet. +% +Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength. +% +Run, comrade, the old world is behind you! +% +run run as fast as you can you cant catch me im the.. oh poo you've got a taser +% +RUN WHILE YUO STILL HAVE LEGS! +% +Run. You're watching you. +% +sacrificing yourself for a bad cause is not a moral act +% +salvation can't be bought and sold +% +salvation is when you stop hoping for it. +% +Sanity is not your most valuable asset. +% +Sanity isn't the survival trait it used to be. +% +Santanism is the practice of sacrificing your children to the false god of economic exponentialism. +% +Sarcasm helps you avoid telling people what you really think of them. +% +Sarcasm is a sign of genius. +% +satanism is a christian's way of becoming enlightened. +% +Satire is over. +% +SAVE THE MUSHROOMS! drop acid +% +Save the whales! Collect the whole set! +% +Save us from salvation +% +SAVE US FROM WHAT WE WANT! +% +Save yourself FOR the salvation army? +% +Save yourself from the salvation army. +% +Say what you mean and say it mean... +% +Scarcity increases value. Stop carrying phones. +% +Scene and Herd. +% +Schplie!!!! at random +% +Science ain't an exact science with these clowns but, they're getting better. +% +Science is a cult +% +Science is a Matter of Belief +% +scratch'n'sniff +% +Screw Capital! Work creates Wealth! (which means wellness) +% +Second star on the right, and onward 'till dawn +% +Secrecy kills. +% +Secret to long life and prosperity: Don't spin too fast. +% +Secure your future: Declare yourself Jesus while masturbating in public. +% +security makes me nervous +% +Security through Obesity +% +Security Through Obscurity +% +Security without freedom is prison. +% +Sedition doesn't go far enough. +% +Seen one fnord, seen em all. +% +See side panel for exciting recipe ideas. +% +See the fnord, don't fear it. +% +self-awareness can be crippling +% +self-contempt can do more harm than good +% +Self improvement is masturbation +% +selfishness is the most basic motivation +% +Semper Non Sequitur! +% +Sense is made, not born. +% +separatism is the way to a new beginning +% +Seriously, in another second or two, you're going to really hate yourself for having read the entirety of this self-indulgent abortion of a sentence. +% +Seriousness is death +% +sex differences are here to stay +% +Sha-ZAM sirrah! +% +She dropped them back up my bag by the idea. +% +sheep -without them the Sheppard would have no clothes and nothing to eat +% +She has a really opulent body; just ripe for dissecting. +% +She's a virgin child with deviant dreams. +% +She's not your ex, she's already had at least five other exes +% +shhh, did you hear that? that was the sound of your dreams being raped by reality. +% +SHHHHHH. listen. +% +Shh! My common sense is tingling! +% +Shit Floats. +% +Shit happens. Shit happens all at once. The universe doesn't care about good timing. +% +Shit happens. Shit happens all azl once. The universe doesn't care about good timing. +% +Shit sucks, don't it? +% +Shoes for industry! +% +Should we start over? +% +Should we talk about the whether, or not? +% +Should your innocence be established, the department will notify your surviving beneficiaries. +% +Shoving feathers up your butt doesn't make you a chicken +% +Show me a man who knew no pain or suffering as a child, and i'll show you a man who has nothing to contribute to society. +% +Show me three monkeys, and I'll show you a heirarchy. +% +Shut up! Keep walking! +% +Shut up, you are your speech! +% +Sic transeo. +% +*sighs, & /me /slash nick curiositykilledthecat +% +Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes +% +Silence! Some of us are trying to think +% +Simulate yourself +% +Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. +% +sin is a means of social control +% +Sinister Dexter has a broken spirometer. +% +Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers. +% +Sir, you have tasted two whole worms; you have hissed all my mystery lectures and been caught fighting a liar in the quad; you will leave Oxford by the next town drain. +% +SLACK: Get it while you can. +% +Sleep is nature's way of telling you to go to bed. +% +Slippery when slick +% +slipping into madness is good for the sake of comparison +% +sloppy thinking gets worse over time +% +Small change can often be found under seat cushions. +% +Small minds think alike, too. +% +smash -HERE- to find out +% +SMASH THE STATE OF MIND +% +Smile, and the whole world thinks you're laughing at them. +% +Smile for the camera! +% +Smile. It irritates everyone. +% +Smile or I'll kill you. +% +Smoke fish. +% +SnaKES! snakES... SnakeS... SnAKes! +% +Social darwinists are evolutionarily unfit. +% +Social norms are for the weak. +% +Society wants people conform, but if all conformed how would society evolve +% +sociopath clowns "deadly but funny" +% +sociopath mimes "silent but deadly" +% +So close, no matter how far... couldn't be much more from the heart. Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters. +% +Soil isn't a document +% +Solidarity with everyone, against no-one. +% +Solipsists of the world unite. +% +solitude is enriching +% +So long, and thanks for all the fish. +% +Somebody hates you +% +Somebody, somewhere, thinks you are scum. +% +somebody stop me. please. +% +Somebody you spoke to recently is stalking you. +% +Some days it seems like the whole point of everything is just to laugh like a fucking goon. +% +Some farts go poof. +% +Some farts go poop. +% +Some girls are bigger than others. +% +Some men are discovered; others are found out. +% +Someone is having a serious day. +% +Someone knows better than you +% +someone should do something about that +% +someone should really kick the next person that says "we should" IN THE NADS +% +Someone wanted you to see this. +% +Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple. +% +Some people have a large circle of friends while others have only friends that they like. +% +Some people have issues, I've opted for the subscription. +% +Some people in this country dont have maps +% +Some people make sense from scratch. The rest make sense out of whole cloth. +% +some say freedom is free, but we tend to disagree. +% +Some things are too serious to do anything but laugh about. +% +Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. +% +Sometimes I become spell-bound in the middle of Wal-Mart. +% +Sometimes I like to cover myself with Vaseline and pretend I'm a slug. +% +sometimes it is completely appropriate to be impolite. +% +sometimes, i wish a star would have wished upon me, so then i would not have to wish upon one. +% +Sometimes joke underpants are still underpants. +% +Sometime's people's illusions don't want people to hear the truth because they'll be destroyed. +% +sometimes things seem to happen of their own accord +% +Sometimes you get insomnia, sometimes it gets you. +% +Sometimes your best just isn't good enough. +% +Sooner or later we'll get your kids +% +So, read any good books lately? +% +Sorry I hit your car, you shouldn't even notice the damage. +% +Sorry Mario, but your princess is just another castle. +% +So... so you think you can tell... heaven from hell +% +"So, we're doing some restructuring and looking into changes to our pay progression. How is the progression at your firm set up?" "Generally speaking, the people at the top tend to make more than the people lower down." +% +So what reason did me punching you in the face happen for? +% +Space Bar. The zen stick in the keyboard, and the key of the board aboard the space-bar. +% +Space is a practiced place. +% +Spacetime isn't curved, it's positively bent. +% +Spam +% +Spam was, Spam is and Spam shall be. After summer is winter, and after winter, summer. It ruled once where Man rules now; where Man rules now, it shall rule again. As a foulness shall ye know it. +% +"Specialization breeds biases that ultimately aggregate as international & ideological discord, which, in turn, leads to war." ~Bucky Fuller +% +Specialization is for insects +% +Specialization is for insects. +% +spending too much time on self-improvement is antisocial +% +spend time: it's on sale. +% +spend your fucking time any fucking way you fucking feel like. everything's going to be fine. +% +SPOILERS: You die at the end. +% +SPOON! +% +Squad 23 disguises the jet ski. +% +Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion. +% +Stamp out bad eggs +% +Stamp Out ___ism. +% +Standing at the edge of tomorrow TODAY! +% +Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down. +% +Stand out, be part of a crowd. +% +Stand up for what's right. Even if it's wrong. +% +Stare at each eye in the mirror, over and over. You can't see yourself move +% +Start finishing what you finished starting. +% +Starting a cult is both a science and a fart. +% +Start up, log in, zone out. +% +starvation is nature's way +% +stasis is a dream state +% +Stasis is the most potent force for change. +% +Statistically, flying is the safest mode of transportation. +% +Statistically you are rather a terrorist than a victim of terror. +% +Step on a crack +% +step one: build a better idiot +% +sterilization is a weapon of the rulers +% +Stop being used. +% +Stop believing, start thinking. +% +Stop deluding yourself, everyone finishes last.. +% +Stop history +% +Stop! I'm a girl whose fingernails are made of a mother's pearl... +% +Stop imitating yourself. +% +STOP. Is your children learning? +% +Stop it, just fucking stop it. +% +Stop Palpitation! +% +Stop reading, start thinking. +% +Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you. +% +Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you. +% +Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable. +% +Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable. +% +STOP TALKING. +% +Stop thinking. Stop speaking. It is still possible. +% +Stop whining -- YOU let them do it. +% +Stop whispering. Start shouting. +% +STOP WORMHOLE EXPERIMENTATION +% +STOP YOUR CHILDREN FROM LEARNING! +% +Strike any user to continue. +% +Strike back against [terrorist/government] oppression! +% +"STRIKE" or "REVOLT" or "YIPPIE" +% +Strike the sheep and the shepherds will scatter. +% +strong emotional attachment stems from basic insecurity +% +STRUCTURE IS THE LEADING CAUSE OF CHAOS +% +Study demonology with an enemy this Sunday. +% +Stupidity is a talent. +% +Stupidity is the cure for what ails you. +% +stupid people shouldn't breed +% +Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud. +% +Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud. +% +Subconscious included. Results may vary. +% +Subversion doesn't feel like like going to school in black; it feels like going to school in a clown suit. +% +Subversive is the new black. +% +Success: Just say NO. +% +Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. +% +Such Oddacity. +% +Suffering is Optional... +% +Suicide is against the law! +% +suk up and pop +% +Sum id quod sum et id totum est quod sum. +% +Superstition brings bad luck. +% +supplementing my permanent record +% +Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. +% +Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. +% +Support free enterprise: shoplift. +% +SUPPORT OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO ARM BEARS! +% +Support Our Fruits. +% +SUPPORT OUR GENOCIDE +% +Support safe sex: give a blowjob to a prostitute. +% +Support your local ceiling. +% +Suppose you succeed in breaking the wall with your head. And what, then, will you do in the next cell? +% +Sure I believe in peace. Peace through superior firepower. +% +Sure I believe in peace. Peace through superior firepower. +% +Surgeon General's Warning: independent thought is hazardous to the establishment. +% +Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it. +% +survival of the fittest applies to men and animals +% +Suspend belief. +% +Swim Upstream to Reverse Current Thinking +% +Swing Dancing means never having to say "I'm sorry" +% +symbols are more meaningful than things themselves +% +Synthetic reality and real reality are THE SAME THING. +% +Take a picture, it'll last longer. +% +Take care of the cojones and the frijoles will take care of themselves. +% +Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. +% +take me to the wizard, he'll know what to do +% +Take no shit, take a crap +% +take nothing for granted +% +Take thee this thing covered with that stuff and give it unto that guy, that he may do things with it. +% +Take the RED pill. +% +Take the skin and peel it back... now doesn't it make you feel better? +% +TAKE THIS AS A SIGN +% +taking a strong stand publicizes the opposite position +% +Talking donkeys my ass! +% +talking is used to hide one's inability to act +% +Talking's not illegal, baby. +% +Talk to the next person that reads this +% +Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an extension. +% +Tax is more addictive than crack. +% +Taze a kitten! +% +Tea isn't everyone's cup of freedom. +% +Tear off all your labels. +% +teasing people sexually can have ugly consequences +% +technically the cup is always full whether it is with oxygen or water. +% +technology will make or break us +% +Tell ________ we're looking for him. +% +Temptoe through the toolies +% +Terrorism. +% +Terror is what you make of it. +% +Thaaaaaat's niiiiiice. +% +Thank God for Existenialism. +% +Thank Satan i'm a Christian. +% +Thanks to capitalism, the masses now have a wide selection of opiates. +% +Thank you for reading this sign. +% +Thank you for shopping at S-Mart. +% +Thank you for your contribution to the mainstream +% +that beegees song is now repeating in your head as you walk +% +That be some righteous dub mon. +% +That makes sense +% +that memebomb would have melted his mentarium like a butter stick between a whore's thighs. - Jay Lake +% +That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all. +% +That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all. +% +That's a fish and you know it! +% +That sickening feeling when you realize you've lost your cellphone will soon be permanent +% +That's just what I believe +% +That's no excuse, and you know it. +% +That's what she said. +% +That that is is that that is not is not is that it it is +% +That was a bad idea. +% +That wasn't a bomb; it was a suggestion. +% +That wasn't aimed at you. +% +That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast. +% +That which is not forbidden is mandatory. +% +The apocalypse is the root of all evil. +% +The appearance of any real communication from me is actually the Laws of Fives in effect. +% +The average human has ___ original thoughts per day. +% +The Average Person has less than three Original Thoughts per week. +% +The backbone of this country is the independent trucks. +% +The Beginning is Near. +% +The Beginning is Nigh +% +The best hypothesis is that you are wrong. +% +The best part about Cartesan Dualism is the existential relief one feels when they reason that it is actually absurd. +% +The Best part of the democracy is that when everyone is wrong, then everyone is right +% +The best practice of abstinence is abstinence of it. +% +The best teddy bears are the live kind. +% +The best thing a true patriot can do is take down his own government. +% +The best things in life are imaginary +% +The best things in life are ridiculous. +% +The best way to move forward is to stand still. +% +The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. +% +The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. +% +The biggest mistake ever done was giving you a keyboard and access to the internet +% +The big theives hang the little ones. +% +_The Big U_ and _Snow Crash_ both center around cerebral bicamerality... but is that because Neal Stephenson has a Jaynes addiction? +% +The boss needs you, you don't need him. +% +The brain is the greatest sex organ of all +% +The Bucket is Going to Kick You! +% +The cake is a lie, but the icing is Truth. +% +The Californians are an idle thriftless people, and can make nothing for themselves. +% +The car stopped on a dime, which unfortunately was in a pedestrian's pocket. +% +The cause is the effect. +% +The charms of a woman are directly related to the speed of her passing. +% +The City eats dreams and shits out monkeys. +% +the city is upstairs +% +The classical Greeks were not influenced by the classical Greeks. +% +The common man thirsts for the mediocre. +% +The compulsion to do good is an innate American trait. Only North Americans seem to believe that they always should, may, and actually can choose somebody with whom to share their blessings. Ultimately this attitude leads to bombing people into the acceptance of gifts. +% +The computer is the LSD of the corporate person +% +The concept is simply staggering. Pointless, but staggering. +% +The concept is simply staggering. Pointless, but staggering. +% +The conspiracy does not exist... But that doesn't mean you can't join. +% +The cops haven't caught me yet. +% +The cotton clothing is made of grows in Mississippi. +% +The "counter-culture" is neither. +% +The coward regards himself as cautious, the miser as thrifty. +% +The Crazy is everywhere and getting stronger. +% +The Creator is the Destroyer. +% +The Crisis is also not a weather front +% +the cruelest disappointment is when you let yourself down +% +The cruelest prison is the one we build for ourselves out of fear and regret. +% +The Crusades were the product of brand loyalty. +% +The darkest aspect of human nature: We are often afraid of the Light. +% +The day we make a solar powered tank will be a bittersweet day for humanity, indeed. +% +The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous. +% +The Delta-United Ring Formation Theory states that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. +% +The denizens of this sizzling-hot, freezing-cold, rocky, rotten island were monsters -- huge or miserably stunted, fat or scraggly, dry or slimy, with scales, warts, pimples, tentacles, talons, fangs, extra arms, eyes, legs, tails, and even heads, all in ridiculous arrangements. +% +the desire to reproduce is a death wish +% +The difference between apathy and ignorance?, I dont know and couldnt care less. +% +The difference between jokes and tragedies is that jokes aren't always funny. +% +the dishonest sage tells you he is lying +% +The door is the key. +% +The early worm gets the bird. +% +The Earth Will Shake. +% +The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not get caught. +% +the end is extremely freaking nigh. +% +The End is Further Away Than You Think +% +The End Is Queer!(tm) +% +The End is Rear! +% +The end of this sentence is false, but the beginning of it is true. +% +the essencial meaning before poee is the weight of this aphorism on flax +% +The Establishment would like to thank you for your continued support. +% +the family is living on borrowed time +% +The first step to a person's heart is to confuse the fuck out of 'em. +% +the flick of an eyelid separates you from chaos unleashed +% +The following statement is not true: +% +The following statement is true; the preceding statement is false. +% +The fragmentariness of life makes coherence suspect. +% +The free market never cured malaria. +% +The friend of your friend is your enemy. +% +Theft is liberty +% +theft is the liberty of property +% +The fuck do you mean with that? +% +The future ain't what it used to be. +% +The future is history. +% +THE FUTURE STARTED HERE. +% +The Game +% +The gateway drug was shut so we can hotbox this joint with tobacco. +% +the goal of religion is its dissollution +% +The good need no rules. The bad have none. +% +The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability. +% +The Government is watching God +% +the grand unified conspiracy theory ate the last cookie! +% +The grass IS greener on the other side, alas, it is federal property and you cannot enter. +% +The graveyards are full of indespensible men. +% +The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making you think there is only one of him. +% +The harder you work, the luckier you get. +% +The Heirophant is Disguised and Confused. +% +The hidden factor may be you. +% +The hidden hand of the market will never work without a hidden fist. +% +The hipbone's connected to the... jawbone? +% +The Hmm Law - Anyone who says the word "hmm" is nowhere near as clever as they think they are and should be ignored at all costs. +% +The horse raced past the barn fell. +% +the human brain is like a grizzly bear with a midget on the back trying to control it +% +The Ideal is in thyself, the impediments too is in thyself. +% +the idea of revolution is an adolescent fantasy +% +the idea of transcendence is used to obscure oppression +% +the idiosyncratic has lost its authority +% +the idiot in the box looks at the idiot in the box and ___ +% +The illusion of objectivity captures people within a mirrored sphere. +% +The important thing is not to stop questioning. +% +The Invisible Hand is an expert at picking pockets. +% +The invisible hand of the market will never work without an invisible fist. +% +The Jetdillo Project: 2000 pounds of steel, 20,000 pounds of thrust. One pair of very dark shades. The world's first fully cybernetic, SSTO-capable armadillo. Coming soon from Armadillo Labs. The Dasypian Future begins tommorrow... +% +the keepers of time are robots. +% +The keyboard really likes it when you type things +% +The key difference between science and religion is that you can have a chemistry lecture in the physics building but you can't have Seder in the mosque. +% +The last person to read this was far more attractive then the next, don't you agree? +% +the last will be first and the first shall be last. Those of us in the middle won't notice the difference +% +The Law has no claim to human respect. It has no civilizing mission - its only purpose is to protect exploitation. - Peter Kropotkin +% +The laws weren't made for people like you +% +the less you know, the more you think you know. +% +The liberation of humanity will be total or it will not be. +% +The longer you're around the older you get. +% +the luminosity of this system was found to vary +% +The Machine is just a by-product widespread personal gain. +% +The Machine is Us. +% +THE MACHINE STOPS, BUT THE ROBOT IS DREAMING +% +The Machine (TM) says: Go back to sleep! +% +THE MAGNA CARTA (The Great Charter): +% +The mainstream is a sewer. +% +The mainstream is; Warm and Cozy; Running down my thigh. +% +The management would like to remind you, the valued customer, that not all moustaches are made of hair. Thank you. +% +The Management would like to thank you for not subverting the dominant paradigm. +% +The man in the green jacket will tell you what to do next. +% +The man saw the boy with the binoculars. +% +The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. +% +The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. +% +the meaning of existence is [garbled]. +% +The meaning of life is [DATA EXPUNGED]. +% +The media lies. +% +The medium and placement of these would completely define the meaning. +% +the medium is the mode +% +the meek really will inherit the earth, 6 foot by 3 of it... +% +The meek will inherit the earth; the rest of us will go to the stars. +% +The meiudm is not the mgsaese. +% +The mind is what the brain does in its spare time. +% +The mind that opens too widely is in danger of spilling out. +% +The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it. +% +The moral of the story is: Kill the parents kill the children. +% +The more it stays the same, the less it changes. +% +The more people I meet, the more I love my battleaxe. +% +the most profound things are inexpressible +% +the most things on the Internet is a waste of time but a nice kind of wasting your time! TO Know what is time-wasting and what is useful or good too keep, you have to test it all - OMG! +% +The most useful tool for dealing with management types is, of course, an automatic weapon. +% +The mutant alien skull man has a smile for all smiles, an answer for all answers. +% +The mystery of love is greater then the mystery of death +% +the new is nothing but a restatement of the old +% +The new money is info. +% +The next person to pass us will die within a fortnight. +% +the nile is not a stream of consciousess +% +the notes for which are they are noted, are not noted for being musical notes +% +Then they came for me +% +The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. +% +"The object of life is to make sure you die a weird death. To make sure that however it finds you, it will find you under very weird circumstances. To live that kind of life . . . - Thomas Pynchon +% +The obvious is not what needs no proof, but what people do not want to prove. +% +Theologians, they don't know nothing about my soul. +% +The one who loves the least, controls the relationship. +% +The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions. +% +The only difference between us is that I wrote this and you are reading it. +% +The only good Smurf is a dead Smurf. +% +The only historically justified tactic is extremist innovation. +% +the only important elements in any society are teh artistic and the criminal, because they alone, by questioning society's values, can force it to change. +% +the only normal people you know are people you don't know that well. +% +The only realistic plan for world peace, NUKE THE MOON!!!! +% +The only real problem in life is what to do next. +% +The only real sins are selfishness and ignorance. +% +The only thing worth doing with your time is wasting it +% +the only true way to worship a god(ess) is to destroy him/her +% +The only truth is we perceive, yet this makes it the highest falsehood. +% +The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement. +% +the only way to be pure is to stay by yourself +% +The only way to get money is from other people +% +The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist is afraid that it is. +% +The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist is afraid that it is. +% +The penis is mightier than the sword. +% +THE PENIS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD +% +The people must fight for its law as for its walls +% +The placebo is the most potent drug on the market. +% +The plural of spouse is spice. +% +The police are your friends. +% +The president's weird. He's got a burgundy beard. It's a ripoff. +% +The primary difference between the stage magician and the practitioner of the occult is that the magician uses illusion and misdirection to deceive an audience, while the occultist uses illusion and misdirection to deceive himself. +% +The problem is that the problem isn't a problem. +% +The problem with troubleshooting is that real trouble shoots back. +% +The purpose of accepting authority is to learn to outgrow it. +% +The quality of an organization can never exceed the quality of the minds that make it up. +% +The quality of mercy is not strgynjdv +% +The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage. +% +The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them. +% +The rain, it raineth on the Just and the Unjust fella. But chiefly on the Just because the Unjust steals the Just's umbrella. +% +The rain, it raineth on the Just and the Unjust fella. But chiefly on the Just because the Unjust steals the Just's umbrella. +% +The rarity of genuine feeling in human society sometimes makes me stop in the street to watch a dog gnawing a bone. +% +There ain't no justice +% +The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money. +% +The real Supreme Court meets up here +% +The real trap of the Black Iron Prison is that you think the bars are protecting you. +% +there are apparently only two thing this country got righ. cars. and freedom +% +There are five kinds of people: +% +There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke. +% +there are no answers. only questions. BE YOUR OWN FUCKING MESSIAH. +% +There are no atheists in prisons either. +% +There are no chickens in the coup. +% +There are no extras in THIS movie. +% +There are no feminists when the lifeboats are lowered +% +There are no gold prisons +% +There are no security cameras on the premises. +% +there are no stupid questions, just ignorant people. +% +There are no unrelated factors. +% +there are only 10 kinds of people who understand binary. those who do and those who don't. +% +there are only two days +% +There are persons who, when they cease to shock us, cease to interest us. +% +There are three magical words that make everyone feel happy... 'no compilation errors'. +% +there are too few immutable truths today +% +There are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true. +% +There are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true. +% +There are two kinds of fighters. Those who fight honorably and those who win. +% +There are two kinds of people in the world: those who believe there are two kinds of people and those who don't. +% +There are two major products that come out of Berkeley; LSD and BSD Unix. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. +% +There are two things in life that require adequate penetration, one of them is welding. +% +The reason people get lost in thought is because it is, to many, rather unfamiliar territory +% +The reason people get lost in thought is because it is, to many, rather unfamiliar territory. +% +There can be no difference anywhere that does not make a difference somewhere. +% +there comes a point when you have to stand up to reality and deny it. - garrison keillor +% +Therefore, by transitive relation, theft is liberty. +% +Therefore, knowing that you are merely human, do not assign yourself merit. +% +there has never been day time in your dreams +% +there is an error in this sentence. +% +There is an exception to every rule. Chaos is everywhere! +% +There is a puppy in that room over there. If you think about the puppy, he dies a horrible death. Don't let the Puppy die. +% +There is far less to everything than you think +% +there is HIMEOBS in my carpet +% +There is more than one way to shave a cat: +% +There is no absolute Freedom! +% +There is no conspiracy. +% +There is no conspiracy. Nobody is in charge. It's a headless blunder operating under the illusion of a master plan. +% +There is no conspiracy; people just aren't that organized. +% +there is *no* conspiracy. the government *is* out to get us. +% +There is no cure for stupidity. +% +There is no evil, only suffering. +% +There is no excess of self-expression that will not serve you well. +% +There Is No Friend Anywhere. +% +There is no gravity, the earth just sucks. +% +There is no heavier burden than a great potential. +% +There is no help. +% +there is no Jew world fnorder +% +There is no limit to the creativity and brlliance a person can display in suggesting a solution to a problem they don't really understand +% +There is no mainstream. +% +There is no more revolution; +% +There is no need to apologize for reality. +% +There is no Santa Claus. It's your parents. Same goes for Jesus. +% +There is no such thing as a fake religion. +% +There is no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it. -tgwtg- (ask him) +% +there is no such thing as "cause and effect", everything is an effect. +% +There is no such thing as innocence. Only Degrees of guilt +% +There is no such thing as innocence, only varying degrees of guilt. +% +There is no such thing as "normal"...please try again. +% +tHERE IS NO SUCH THING AS: SUPERNATURAL. just because its wierd to you or you cant understand it doesnt make it outside of nature. +% +There is no such thing as The Machine. +% +There is not a struggle between authority and democracy, but between industrial society and humanity. +% +There is no "THEM". There is only "US". +% +There is nothing hidden here. +% +there is nothing more selfish than having a blowjob +% +There is nothing to worry about, ever, really! +% +THERE IS NOTHING UN-NATURAL. eVERYTHING THAT EXISTS IS PART OF NATURE, WHICH IS EVERYTHING +% +There is no time like the pleasant. +% +There is no Truth here. +% +...there is only black, or white. +% +There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty: the duty to take the consequences. +% +There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. +% +There is some fiction in your truth, and some truth in your fiction. +% +there is something addicting about a secret. +% +There IS something hiding in your closet. +% +There is where you say something stupid. +% +"The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide." +% +There's $30 hidden around here. +% +There's a fine line between pride in one's identity and unearned moral superiority. +% +There's always room for unreasonable doubt. +% +There's no LIE in BELIEF. +% +There's no such thing as a free world +% +There's no such thing as nothing +% +There's nothing better than a BDSM fuck. +% +there's nothing except what you sense +% +there's nothing redeeming in toil +% +There's nothing to panic about. Remain indoors and you will not be harmed. +% +There's nothing wrong with mondays, it's your job that sucks. +% +There's nothing wrong with slavery +% +There's nothing wrong with you a shotgun blast to the face couldn't fix. +% +There's no upside to believing in what's true. +% +There's someone in my head, but it's not me +% +There's something existentially pleasing about dropping a jar of marbles in an insane asylum. +% +there's so such thing as wasted time, only wasted people to spend it with. +% +the restless soul must never be allowed confinement of expression +% +THE REVOLUTION +% +The revolution has abandoned you-- +% +the revolution is begining ...everyone turn to the left +% +The revolution is over, and yet here you are. +% +The revolution is unbelievable because it's real. +% +The Revolution will be commercial free. +% +The revolution will be the same +% +The Revolution will not be civilized +% +The revolution will not be teleprompted. +% +The Revolution will not be televised. +% +the revolution will not realised +% +the revolution will take place elsewhere - here it's forbidden to step on the grass. +% +There were Arabs with knives at the foot of the bed. +% +There were no zero sum games until we made them. +% +There will be plenty of time to sleep when you're dead. +% +The Roadrunner fled across the desert, and the Coyote followed. +% +The Rule of Fives states that all things happen in fives, or are divisible by or are multiples of five, or are somehow directly or indirectly related to five. The Rule of Fives is never wrong. +% +The Rule of Fives states that all things happen in fives, or are divisible by or are multiples of five, or are somehow directly or indirectly related to five. The Rule of Fives is never wrong. +% +The sad thing in the world is a dying man who never had an original thought in his whole life. +% +The Sanity is IN. +% +The scum of the earth lurk in dark hallways +% +These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives; for all the scents of green things growing, each breath is but an exhalation of the grave. Bodies jerk like puppet corpses, and hell walks laughing -- +% +These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives; for all the scents of green things growing, each breath is but an exhalation of the grave. Bodies jerk like puppet corpses, and hell walks laughing -- +% +These could go together, or be separate. +% +the secret of the universe is just that +% +The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. +% +The secret to my success: Poor impulse control. +% +These days, it takes a square to show you what's cool. +% +These eyes have seen things you would easily believe. +% +the sense is not to search for a sense +% +These words mean nothing. +% +The silver-lineing comes unstiched +% +The size of the package doesn't matter if it's flaccid. +% +The solution is part of the problem. +% +The sound of bags of rice tipping is the fundamental background noise of our universe. +% +The spiritual fridge is full of leftovers. +% +The state calls its own violence law, but that of the individual crime. +% +the state calls its own violence law, but that of the individual crime. - max steiner +% +The statement "the pen is mightier than a sword." Also applies when talking about penises. No, I'm not bitter. +% +The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. +% +the sum of your actions determines what you are +% +The Sun impregnated the Earth with its photonic sperm; we are all their children. +% +The supernatural is inherently unknowable. +% +"The surest way to guarantee a dictatorship is to be afraid of one." -The Good Reverend Roger +% +The surrealist is the only realist. +% +the system's rigged! step aside of it! cut off it's leeching umbilical cord! let's starve it! +% +THE SYSTEM supports both uppercase and lowercase characters +% +The television will not be revolutionized. +% +The three greatest men who ever lived were Eleanor Roosevelt. +% +The toof will set you fwee. +% +The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. +% +The Triangle God has three sides. +% +The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. +% +The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. +% +The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. +% +The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. +% +The trouble with using experience as a guide is that the final exam often comes first and then the lesson. +% +The Truth Hertz. +% +The truth is manifest in such a way that it can be found in the thickest of lies. +% +The Truth Is No. +% +The Truth is not for sale - your tax money helps keep the Truth in good hands. +% +The truth is probably not out there after all. +% +The truth is the biggest lie anyone ever told +% +the truth is undeniable, and we will flood them with it. +% +The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head. +% +The truth never set anyone free +% +The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. +% +The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. +% +the unattainable is invariable attractive +% +The unexamined life isn't worth living man. +% +the universe doesn't give a shit about you. sorry you had to find out in the form of a crappy meme bomb, but it's true. still a nice place to visit, though. +% +The universe, including the parts occupied by matter, is made almost entirely of empty space. Since nature abhors a vacuum, it would seem evident that the universe is comprised mostly of self loathing. +% +The universe is laughing behind your back. +% +The universe is like a grapefruit -- it's yellow and dimply, and some people have half of one for breakfast. +% +The universe is like a grapefruit--it's yellow and dimply, and some people have half of one for breakfast. +% +The University's needle exchange program has been closed due to public outcry +% +the unknown has done nothing to warrant it being something worth fearing +% +The Vain Search is a search in vain +% +The vast, shadowy organizations you fear are made up of frightened, neurotic little people just like you. +% +The very fact that you exist is the end product of billions of Aeons of fantastically unlikely events. Statistically you don't exist. +% +The wages of sin are death! (of course, After taxes, it's really more of a tired feeling....) +% +The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy. +% +The way up and the way down is one and the same. +% +the whether is changing +% +The White zone is for loading and unloading only +% +The whole universe is trying to enlighten you. Will you let it? +% +The wind is loud and sometimes pungent. +% +The wind is plowed and sometimes sturgeon. +% +The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf. +% +The wisest man is an ape compared to god. +% +The womb is a prison - Fetus liberation front +% +The world doesn't stop just because you are having a shitty day. +% +The world ended last year and nobody noticed. +% +The world is a vast temple dedicated to Discord. - Voltaire. +% +The world is coming to an end. Please log off. +% +The world is coming to an end. Please log off. +% +the world is end and we are basking in it's imaginative echo +% +The world is full of adults scrambling around trying to learn how to play again. +% +The world is full to bursting with people exactly like you. +% +The world is the inbox and you are the spam +% +the world operates according to discoverable laws +% +The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man confines himself within ancient limits. +% +The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man confines himself within ancient limits. +% +the worst feeling isn't losing someone you love. and it's not loving someone who won't love you back. it's wholeheartedly and unstoppably loving someone who does not love you...anymore. +% +The worst you can do is kill me. What I can do to you, however, is far more horrifying. I Can wake you up. +% +They are a puckish band of rapscallions +% +They are hunting dogs. +% +THEY buy your happiness. Steal it back. +% +They can take our guns, but they can't take our ignorance! +% +They hang the man and flog the woman +% +They just buzzed and buzzed.....buzzed. +% +They know you're not as weird as you pretend. +% +They know you're reading this. +% +They Live. We sleep +% +They never tell you about all the other little engines that couldn't +% +They promised me fiery doom, but all i ever got was this lukewarm failure +% +They're catching up to you! +% +They're most dangerous when they look normal. +% +They say life is short, life is the longest thing you'll ever do. +% +They think the earth is flat because they are anarchists. +% +They think YOU are a criminal. +% +They think you're weird. +% +THEY WANT YOUR X +% +The Zombie Apocalypse starts at home. +% +the zombie virus can travel through all sorts of media. +% +Things are great because great men did them. Men are great because they did great things. +% +Things fell apart and nobody did much of anything +% +Things you own end up owning you +% +THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME YOU WASTED READING THIS +% +Think about if what you write down is actually clever. +% +Think "HONK" if you're a telepath! +% +thinking too much can only cause problems +% +Think inside the box +% +Think in terms of thought. +% +Think of hummingbirds as the flying penises of flowers +% +Think out of the box. +% +Think outside the book. +% +Think outside which box? +% +tHINK tWICE, SPEAK ONCE +% +This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race +% +This bear's repeating. +% +this conversation isnt over +% +this conversation is over +% +This elevator has been accident-free for 16 days! +% +this has been rewritten countless times over +% +This has probably been said before, but here it is again. +% +this is a interdistraction +% +This is a Meme. +% +THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM GOD +% +This is a message from the past. RSVP. +% +This is a mindjacking! +% +This is a question? +% +this is a secret society, quick spread the word. +% +This is a thought free zone. +% +this is a wasteland in your mouth +% +this is certainly sort of strange +% +This is inappropriate +% +This is just another slick marketing enterprise. +% +This is like Brave New World, only all the alphas are retards. +% +This is my steakhouse. +% +This is not a meme. +% +This is Not an Exist. +% +THIS IS NOT AN INNUENDO! +% +This is not a pipe. +% +This is not as apparent as it looks. +% +This is 'not cricket'. +% +This is not here +% +This is not mind control, ...............................Think about it. _Mad Poet +% +This is not simply entertainment. +% +This is not "This is not a pipe". +% +This is now part of your day. +% +This isn't a debate, it's a historical re-enactment. +% +This isn't all true. +% +This isn't who it would be, if it wasn't who it is. +% +this is only a test +% +This is only a test! Had this been an actual life, you would have been instructed where to tune for news and official information. +% +This is part of a dream you're going to have tonight +% +This is precisely the sort of thing that people who like this sort of thing will like. +% +This is reality. Logic has no place in the real world. +% +This is the distraction. +% +This is the end +% +This is the most amazing loaf of bread I've ever owned. +% +This is the only warning I'm allowed to give you. +% +This is the worst smelling planet I have ever visited. +% +THIS IS WHAT DISCORDIANS ACTUALLY BELIEVE +% +This is where I get off... +% +THIS IS YOUR TRUE DESIRE. +% +THIS MACHINE LIES +% +This may be the last time you feel great... +% +THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED. +% +This message is false +% +This message is not for you. +% +This message isn't for you +% +This message is thoughtcrime. +% +This Message Not Valid Without Receipt +% +This page was intentionally left blank. +% +This poster is holding reality together. +% +this post scares me +% +THIS REVOLUTION IS ONE-HUNDRED PER CENT GOVERNMENT APPROVED +% +[this scene was directed by David Lynch] +% +"This sentence finds it embarassing to be red." (In green pen?) +% +This Sentence has Cabbage six words. +% +This sentence is a lie. +% +This sentence is different the third time you read it. +% +This sentence is in Spanish while you're not looking. +% +This sentence will not prompt you to think of that thing. +% +This side up. +% +This sign is not for you. +% +This sign is not self-referential. +% +This statement does not apply for jobs. +% +This statement is a lie. +% +This statement is false. +% +This sticker is upside-down. +% +This sticker written on the internet. +% +This town needs an enema. +% +This world is a toolbox, full of loose screws. +% +Those students who have become one with the universe will be allowed to go on and become two with the universe. +% +Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate. +% +Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing. +% +Those who don't question their own beliefs probably shouldn't have any. +% +those who do the impossible never believe the impossible +% +Those who listen only to what they want to hear, end up dancing with their own reflection - in the abyss. +% +Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable. +% +Those who make peaceful revolution possible make violent revolution necessary +% +Those who play with the Stone get screwed by the Stone. +% +those who speak don't speak, those who know don't know. +% +Those who think ignorance is bliss are ignorant and blissful +% +Those you think are your friends are really your enemies... +% +Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same... +% +Thousands upon thousands are yearly brought into a state of real poverty by their great anxiety over not to be thought poor. +% +Thou shalt make no more commandments. +% +Thou shalt not misspell thine neurotransmitters. +% +#tigerblood +% +Tiger Tim the Tightrope Walker, tried to steal the drag queen's daughter. +% +Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. +% +Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. +% +Time flies like an arrow... Fruit flies like a banana. +% +Time flies whether you're having fun or not. +% +Time is a great teacher, but it kills all its pupils. +% +Time is a harsh mistress. +% +Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. +% +Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space. +% +Time is a plaything for children and fools. +% +Time is a spiral, space is a curve, I know you get dizzy but try not to lose your nerve +% +Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. +% +Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once. +% +Time is the best teacher, unfortunatelly it kills all its students. +% +Time's fun when you're having flies +% +"Time's up... or left?" +% +Time Warner: bringing you the finest in cradle-to-grave thought management. +% +timidity is laughable +% +'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. +% +Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. +% +To annoy a conservative, tell him a lie. +% +To be free today means to participate. +% +To be good is to be lonesome. +% +To be happy is a new notion +% +To be happy living in this world, there are sides of the soul one must entirely paralyze. +% +TO BE IS TO DUDE. +% +to be placed on stickers : this is not a sticker +% +To be the best, you must LOSE YOUR MIND. +% +To be written on elevator doors: "You are now trapped" +% +To chase the Divine is to deny the Humanity. +% +To criticize the incompetent is easy; to criticize the competent is difficult. +% +Today is a bad day for a revolution! +% +Today is a good day to bribe a high ranking public official. +% +Today is a good day to join the revolution! +% +Today is a good day to sign up for the revolution! +% +Today is a good day to start the revolution! +% +Today is a good day to start writing on walls +% +Today is an excellent day to become a missing person. +% +Today is the day. +% +Today is the first day of the rest of my death. Tommorrow will be the next day of it. Bwwaahh. +% +To demand 'sense' is the hallmark of nonsense. Nature does not make sense. Nothing makes sense. +% +to disagree presupposes moral integrity +% +To err is human; to forgive is not company policy. +% +To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult. +% +To have nothing is impossible. +% +To have nothing is impossible. You'll always perceive something. +% +To have too much and not enough is like a boat person with sideburns. +% +Tomorrow's just an excuse away! +% +Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earthbound misfit, I. +% +Tony Orlando and DAWN! +% +To obtain a man's opinion of you, make him mad. +% +Too much Freedom can be extremely unpleasant. +% +To speak of right and wrong per se makes no sense at all. No act of violence, rape, exploitation, destruction, is intrinsically unjust, since life itself is violent, rapacious, exploitative, and destructive, and cannot be conceived otherwise. +% +Tough times do not last forever. +% +to volunteer is reactionary +% +to whom it may concern, +% +Train of thought derailed, thousands killed. +% +Trespassing is foreboding. +% +Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level. +% +Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing. +% +true freedom is frightful +% +True love is overrated +% +Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence. +% +Truly, the road to enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass. +% +Trust I seek and I find in you, everyday to eat something new. +% +Trust me--I am an anonymous stranger with foul intentions! +% +Truth Hurts, Troof Tickles. +% +Truth is just our need to make things come to existence +% +Truth is plural and contingent +% +truth is the biggest lie in the universe +% +Truth is wherever you look for it, in exactly the same place where falseness likes to hide, there are only so many hiding places. +% +Truth would quickly cease to become stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it. +% +Try Dying. +% +Try enjoying yourself. Everyone else has. +% +Try enjoying yourself. Everyone else has. +% +"Trying to defeat an ideology by killing individuals is like trying to save a marriage with a blowjob. It might buy you some time, but in the end it'll just suck" - Ze Frank +% +Try looking at these words WITHOUT reading them. +% +Try reading this page out loud. +% +Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today. +% +Try to alter the way you interact with the people around you. I dare you! +% +Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough +% +Try to outlive these words. +% +Try to remember +% +Try to stop thinking for 5 seconds... +% +Tune out the signal. +% +Tu quoque makes the whole world dumb +% +TV Sets the Channel +% +Twang gard is fo yo helff +% +'Twas Brillig, and the slithey toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. +% +Twas Brillig, and the slithey toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. +% +TWISTER FOR MONEY, TWISTER FOR BLOOD! +% +Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. +% +Two wrongs don't make a Right...but three lefts do! +% +Tyger, tyger, burning bright, in the forests of the night; what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry? +% +u can not spell cannibalism without capitalism +% +Uh, Josh, you have to do a QC before you say "go away" for it to be a banishing. +% +Ultimately wise magic crystal ball divination says: MAYBE +% +Um. No. It's not mayonnaise. +% +Undermine society, everybody! +% +Underneath all the God stuff... more God stuff. +% +Unemployment is not a disease; so it has no cure +% +unique things must be the most valuable +% +Universal quantifications are always wrong. +% +unleash infinity +% +Until, one by one... HE DESTROYED THEM ALL! +% +Until you realize the power of an archetype/symbol, it's just another bar in your cell. +% +Use condoms while screwing the establishment. +% +Use no hooks. +% +Use only as directed. +% +Use the Culture as ocean to swim in. Treat it with care. +% +using force to stop force is absurd +% +Utopia, why? +% +Vacuum packed for freshness. +% +Vee off ze KGB are not ez slow ez you tink, comrade. +% +Vegetables are murder. +% +[Verification needed] +% +Victimize Circumstance! +% +Violators will be fisted. +% +violence is permissible even desirable occasionally +% +Violence never settles anything. +% +Virginity can be cured. +% +Visualize Whirled Peas +% +VOTE YES ON PROPOSITION 23: IMPLEMENT THE DEATH PENALTY FOR THE SIN OF IMMORTALITY! +% +Voting in an election is like Roman galley slaves picking the drummer in that neither has much effect on where the ship will finally sink, +% +wait, +% +wait! +% +Wait long enough and Choas is part of US - sorry you! +% +wait..they want you to eat christ's flesh and drink his blood? +% +Wait until you get the question before you volunteer an answer. +% +Wait you're worried about your Boss seeing your e-mails? +% +Wake up! +% +WAKE UP. +% +Wake up, the whole world's gone... +% +Walk away and pretend this never happened. +% +Walk in shadow, walk in dread, Loosefish walk as like one dead +% +War (conflict) is the father of all and the king of all; and some he has made gods and some men, some bond and some free. +% +War doesn't decide who's right, war decides who's left. +% +WAR: God's way of teaching Americans geography. +% +War hath no fury like a non-combatant. +% +war is a purification rite +% +Warning: ambitious careerists may now be disguised as "progressives". +% +WARNING: And how! +% +WARNING: Beware warning signs. +% +Warning: Discourse May Lead You Astray +% +Warning: Do not mind the gap. +% +Warning: don't worry, everything is ok. +% +"WARNING: It is forbidden to obey. Processors will be transgressed." +% +Warning: mind The Gap. +% +WARNING: Reading this sign is forbidden. +% +warning: the sky really is falling +% +WARNING: The vomitous nature of certain sequences may be emotionally hazardous for the squeamish or those with weak hearts. +% +Warning this is not a drill, it just feels like one because the truth is deep. Digging for gold and all we find is this damn oil and suddenly we realize we have forgotten our ladder and the hole is too deep to climb out of, we greedy basterds +% +Warning: This warning sign is false. +% +WARNING: You are forbidden to read this sentence. +% +warning: you are now entering a bullshit free zone. +% +Warning: You can't really say I didn't warn you. +% +Was it worth it? +% +was, Spam is and Spam shall be. After summer is winter, and after winter, summer. It ruled once where Man rules now; where Man rules now, it shall rule again. As a foulness shall ye know it. +% +Was uns nicht umbringt macht mir bis 1500 naechsten nachmittag schlafen. +% +watching clouds change shapes, i see my prison +% +Watch me as I swing my hips... around. +% +Watch out for CCTV cameras, but otherwise that idea is awesome. +% +Watch this space, but not too intently. +% +Watch your back or I'll do it. +% +We all know that no one understands anything that isn't funny. +% +Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man's friend deserts him. +% +We are all Children of Cthulhu -- especially the ones with lots of tentacles. +% +We are as gods and might as well get good at it +% +We are blinded by the colour, and see the world in black and white. +% +We are digging in the trenches of the New Underground +% +We are King Midas: everything we touch turns into matter. +% +We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. +% +We are not stuff that abides +% +We are now approaching the Aftermath, and it will shake the mountains asunder. +% +We are now headed towards Mutually Assured Distraction. +% +we are only as free as our purchasing power permits. +% +We are sorry for the inconvenience, but this is a revolution +% +We are sorry, you have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone ninety degrees and try again. +% +We are the marginalized prophets +% +We are the music-makers. And we are the dreamers of the dreams. +% +We are the ones who seem to travel through time +% +We are the zombies that Zombies fear. +% +We are watching you +% +We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. +% +We asked for Mojo Nixon, they said "He don't work here" +% +Weather's here, wish you were beautiful. +% +Webcams and internet are the new God, all seeing ..... +% +We care about your saftey as much as you care about our profit margin. -The Mgt +% +We come in peace... shoot to kill... +% +We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure. +% +We'd give peace a chance, but it would never survive on the free market. +% +We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe. +% +We don't hate vegetarians, we just think they're funny. +% +We don't morally censure you. We just want the money. +% +We don't morally censure you. We just want the money. +% +We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. +% +We don't take no shit from a machine. +% +We find the defendant innocent by reason of being generally clueless. +% +We find what we look for, whether or not it's there. +% +We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it. +% +We have no time for useless sentiments like individuality. +% +We have this area under surveillance +% +We insist on seeing patterns that aren't there. The ones that really are there are quite beautiful enough, thank you. +% +We intend to destroy all dogmatic verbal systems. +% +We invent what we love, and what we fear." +% +WE KNOW IT WAS YOU +% +We know where you are. We know where you've been. We can more or less know what you're thinking about. +% +Welcome home +% +Welcome to Borger King. Your way will be assimilated. +% +Welcome to the Federal Bureau for Reducing Bureaucracy! +% +Welcome to the internet. Please enjoy your stay and remember that no one cares what you find offensive. +% +We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history. +% +We learn from history that we do not learn from history. +% +We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong. +% +Well, it looks like blind, screaming hedonism won out. +% +Well, Katrina likes it. +% +We'll make you happy +% +Well, what's wrong with a little destruction? +% +WELL YOU KNOW THEY SAY, "EVERYTHING CAN END WITH A RAZOR!". +% +We may all be dust in the wind ; but im makein a fucking kite, how about you? +% +We may be cheap, but we ain't free. +% +We may not be free, but we sure are cheap. +% +we must make sacrifices to maintain our quality of life +% +We must think of beauty as what we are, or the concept itself becomes our enemy. +% +we need some new cliches +% +We're all heroes, when we look at it the right way. We're all heroes of life. +% +We're behaving like insects +% +We refuse to be highrised, diplomaed, licensed, inventoried, registered, indoctrinated, suburbanized, sermonized, beaten, telemanipulated, gassed, booked. +% +We refuse to even acknowledge the wheel. +% +We're gonna go to the mall and window shoplift... +% +We're just two lost souls swimmin' in a fishbowl, year after year +% +We're not doing scientific research, we're killing people. +% +WE'RE PROBABLY NOT AS JUDGMENTAL AS YOU MIGHT THINK. +% +We're sorry, the universe is currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please (?force) accept this beautiful body (?meat-cage). Enlightenment is loading... +% +We're sorry, this sign is currently out of order. +% +We're supposed to be perfect our first day on the job and then show constant improvement. +% +We saw her duck. +% +We saw that, go back there and pick it up. +% +We see what you did there. +% +We seldom attribute common sense except to those who agree with us. +% +We should all quit whinging. +% +We should build an Intel processor out of penguins. +% +We sympathize with your intolerance. +% +we take the naps we think we deserve. +% +We thank you for the inconvenience. +% +We want nothing of a world in which the certainty of not dying from hunger comes in exchange for the risk of dying from boredom. +% +We watch the pain, over and over again. +% +We will protect you from loneliness. +% +what a drag it is getting sold +% +What are you doing?! +% +What are you doing out here? Haven't you heard about the curfew? +% +What are you really thinking about? +% +What are you thinking now that you are finished? +% +What are you thinking now that you are finished reading this? +% +What a useless scroll, all it says is "Hastur Hastur Hastur" over and over again. +% +What breaks in a moment may take years to mend. +% +what can i type here that would make you think? +% +What could possibly go wrong? +% +What did Medieval people do before television? +% +"What did Medieval people do before television?" "Had tea, I suppose." +% +what did you lap up today? +% +What do you get if you cross an elephant with a grape? |grape| * |elephant| * sin(theta). +% +What do you get if you cross an elephant with a grape? |grape| * |elephant| * sin(theta). +% +What do you want me to do, learn to stutter? +% +Whatever happened to Rodney Allen Rippy? Check your Jumbo Jack. +% +Whatever you're doing, just stop. +% +What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. +% +What happens when we make machines make us make them make us into them? +% +What happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes. +% +What happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes. +% +(what if) God created Man because he wanted a worthy adversary(?) +% +What if the doctor told you you only had 50 more years to live? +% +What if you're never going to hit rock bottom? +% +What if you're the one? +% +What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. +% +What is it with you and money? +% +What is man but a bridge between animal and superman? +% +What is sextant, +% +what is stopping you from doing something so cool that it renders you IMMORTAL? +% +WHAT IS THE EXACT NATURE OF THE CATASTROPHE? +% +What is the first question? +% +What is this, some kind of slogan? +% +What is true and what is right are two different things. +% +What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it. +% +What just happened? +% +What makes you think you aren't a target? +% +What other people think of you is none of your business +% +What poor gods we do make. +% +What rolls down T3s, boosts connect fees, and makes your throughput drag? Makes it tough to hack, won't get off your back, it's lag lag lag! +% +What's blue and square? An orange in disguise... +% +What's blue and square? An orange in disguise... +% +What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, and Understanding? +% +what's stopping you? +% +"What's the difference between two lawyers and a senator?" +% +What's thee rush? You're already here. +% +What's your anti-drug, and can you overcome it? +% +What we're looking at is an aggressive form of late-night shopping. +% +What were you thinking about before you started reading this sentence? +% +What will you be forgotten as? +% +What women really care about is the ability to kill their children. +% +What would Emperor Norton do? +% +What would Johnny Cash do? +% +What Would Paris Do? +% +what would you break without rules? +% +What you change, changes you. +% +When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. +% +When Cthulhu calls, he calls collect. +% +Whenever I hear the word "culture", it makes me want to reach for my revolver. +% +When ideas fail, words come in very handy. +% +When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my father did, not screaming in terror like his passengers. +% +When I grow up, I want to be a dull working class citizen with a wife and kids and a male archetypal hobby. +% +When in danger or in doubt: run in circles, scream and shout. +% +When in doubt, fuck it. When not in doubt... get in doubt! +% +When in doubt, fuck it. When not in doubt... get in doubt! +% +When in Rome, do as the Vandals do. +% +When in Rome, try the veal. - drtim +% +When knowledge is managed, only managers will have knowledge. +% +When life gives you a lemon, say 'Lemons? I like lemons. What else have you got?' +% +When life gives you a lemon, say 'Lemons? I like lemons. What else have you got?' +% +When opportunity knocks, answer the door naked. +% +When opportunity knocks, escape through the back door +% +When Politicians say they want to take their country back, back to where and from who? +% +When push comes to shove, you will fall. +% +When someone starts telling you about The Truth, run! +% +when something terrible happens people wake up +% +When's the last time you felt great? +% +When stupid people are set free, the first thing they do is to make stupidity illegal. +% +When the axe came into the forest, the trees said, 'The handle is one of us.' +% +When the Brain fails, the gut prevails +% +When the crowd gets behind you, it means you are facing the wrong way. +% +When the culture is built around 'appearing', 'doing' becomes a political act in itself. +% +When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. +% +When the last stone from the last church falls on the last priest, Humanity will know peace. +% +When the naive man admits his naivete, he is no longer naive. Thus, all people are regarded by society as either ignorant or a liar. +% +When the naive man admits his naivete, he is no longer naive. Thus, all people are regarded by society as either ignorant or a liar. +% +When the winds of change blow hard enough even the most trivial of things can turn into deadly projectiles. +% +when they said REPENT, I WONDERED WHAT THEY MEANT +% +When was the first time you felt great? +% +When we talk about property, state, masters, government, laws, courts, and police, we say only that we don't want any of them. +% +when you act like someone is your enemy, they'll soon start playing to the role as they feel threatened. +% +When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself. +% +When you die, can I have your dreams and ideas? +% +When you dont know where you going, you never loose the way. +% +When you go to hell, you DIE +% +When you go to sleep tonight, you will die. An impostor with all your memories will awake, and to their credit, they will even think they are you. +% +When you have had all that you can take, put the rest back. +% +When you look for happiness outside yourself, it is like sand in the hands, when you have it, it slips away. When you find happiness from within, you become the sand. +% +When you're a god, you don't have to have reasons. +% +Where do your ideas come from? +% +Where in the Waste is the Wisdom? +% +Where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head? +% +where there is no war, peace is about to be screwed. +% +Where there is power there is resistance. +% +Where there's a will, I want to be in it. +% +Which caused little rhythmic darts of red to pulsate gently in the morning sun. +% +Whichever makes less sense at the time. +% +Which way to America? +% +While I'm at it, can I ask you a rhetorical question? +% +While playing Resident Evil, you turned into what you were just killing. +% +While you were playing Warcraft, we were saving lives. +% +While you were reading this, my invisible friend stole your wallet. +% +While you were sleeping last night, we killed your puppy. +% +White Washing Reality Creates A Canvas Of Villany +% +Who are you? SERIOUSLY, WHO? +% +Who are you? Why? +% +Who begins too much accomplishes little. +% +who can truly pwn a tree? +% +Whoever said love was an ocean probably drowned. +% +Who is Hagbard Celine? +% +Who is the one who is living you now? +% +Who is the shepherd? +% +Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me? +% +Who loathes you, and who do you love? CTHULHU! +% +Who loathes you, and who do you love? CTHULHU! +% +Whose eyes are your eyes? +% +Whose thought are you thinking now? +% +Who's life are you living? +% +Who told you to believe that? +% +Who watches the watchers? +% +Who would lose a needle in a haystack? +% +Why are you masturbating? +% +Why are you so sure? +% +Why are you too good to die? +% +Why ask why, just shut up and die +% +Why didn't you? +% +Why die today ? Pay the late fee and die next week! +% +why do men die before their wives? could it be because they want to? +% +Why don't you come down from your cross, take the wood, build a bridge, and get over it? +% +Why don't you mind?! +% +Why do you ask so many loaded questions? +% +Why do you care about Bratney Spears' parenting style? +% +Why follow the rules all the time? You must love them. +% +Why is a raven like a writing-desk? +% +Why is it we can see the foolishness of the blind leading the blind, and yet miss the same pitiful futility of the sane leading the sane? +% +Why is the cheese moving? +% +Why not? +% +Why obey when they don't trust you anyways? +% +Why will you forget this message ever existed? +% +Why worry about the unknown when you don't know the now? +% +Why would the government want to take your guns away? They already have enough of their own. +% +WILL TONY SOPRANO DIE BALD? +% +Will what you do +% +Win a live rat for your mother-in-law! +% +wipe off that lipstick. +% +wishing things away is not effective +% +Witchcraft always has a hard time, until it becomes established and changes its name. +% +With age, ignorant altruism looks more and more like calculated wickedness. +% +Wit happens. +% +With correct logic, you can prove anything that's true. +% +With doubt, all things are possible. +% +With great power comes irresponsibility. +% +Within 24 hours, something will happen to you. Don't be afraid. It's the beginning of a story. +% +With Love in our hearts and death on our minds, now is thee time to leave fear behind... because _We Kill Evil!_ +% +with only a speck of shit on your nose, everything will smell bad. +% +Without bullshit, the grass would never grow +% +Without changing our pattern of thought, we will not be able to solve the problems we created with our current patterns of thought. +% +without contradictions, i would not be free. +% +Without my ___________ I'd be just like everyone else. +% +with perseverance you can discover any truth +% +women = god's retribution for stealing fire. +% +Wonders never cease, as long as you never cease to wonder. +% +words tend to be inadequate +% +Workers of the world, have fun! +% +Workers of the world, have fun! [Mimics "Workers of the world, unite!"] +% +WORK IN PROGRESS: we're trying to hide another U.F.O. right here, so don't care about us - we're working for you. +% +Work is a four letter word. +% +World Peace Declared. +% +worrying can help you prepare +% +worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do without doing anything. +% +Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever? I could then conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife. +% +Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever? I could then conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife. +% +Would you believe that goblins exist for twenty bucks? +% +Would you vote for a guy who wants to govern you? +% +Wow, man... like, totally Hidden Valley Ranch, dude. +% +Wretched excess is it's own reward +% +Write this somewhere else. +% +Wroth like a zealot, believing in nothing and suspecting all. Annhilative, to the point of hyperbole. +% +Xyzzy doesn't mean shit. +% +Ye of many faiths +% +Yes men get all the babes! +% +Yesterday a postal worker asked me what type of handgun he should buy. +% +Yes you are. +% +Yeti Crossing. Beware of penguins. +% +"Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation" yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation. +% +Yield to oncoming traffic. +% +Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again. +% +Yo! Ewige Blumenkraft, Dude! +% +You always love the ones you hurt +% +You an Ill-Lusor, eh? +% +You appear to have an infestation of fail ants. +% +You are a fire hazard +% +You are a flight risk. Bail set to ______________ +% +You are a product. +% +you are as wrong as you are right as you are left as you are as you are turned upside down, aren't you? +% +You are a target audience. Duck! +% +you are a victim of the rules you live by +% +you are free to do whatever you like provided you live with the consequences +% +You are getting sleepy very. +% +You are hearing voices +% +You are Holy in the wrong +% +You are illegal. +% +You are judged by the enemies you keep too! +% +You are literate +% +You are living in Hungry Joe's dreams. +% +You are living proof god has a sense of humor +% +You are MORTAL. You will die. SOON. Start living how you want to be remembered? Do it for us. +% +You are not an individual. +% +You are not a unique and wonderful being. +% +you are not your bumper sticker or how much gas you have in the tank +% +You are not your ego +% +You are not your self-image. +% +YOU ARE NOW AWARE OF EVERY TIME YOU BLINK. +% +You are now aware of your tourettes tic. +% +you are now breathing automatically +% +You are now breathing manually. +% +You are now entering chapel perilous +% +you are now manually dying +% +YOU ARE NOW NO LONGER FULLY AUTOMATED. +% +You are now thinking manually. +% +You are now trapped. +% +You aren't just paranoid, the universe *is* trying to fuck with you +% +You aren't the chosen one, get back to work. +% +You are one of the masks +% +You are only happy by accident. +% +You are Powerful! +% +You are really invisible when nothing can see you. +% +you are responsible for constituting the meaning of things +% +you are stupid and evil and do not know that you are stupid and evil +% +You Are The Enemy, And We Are You. +% +You are the opposition! +% +You are the voice in your head. +% +YOU are unfit for self-rule. +% +You are unique just like everyone else. +% +You are what you hate. +% +You ask if I know, i know I know but I can't explain how. so i tell you i can't know, but if i can't know, then how can i tell you i can't know if you now know that i know i can't know? +% +You believe in an all powerful god and yet you break his rules? Insanity! +% +You better know +% +you bet your ass i'm disease free. +% +You can embrace the changing winds or not, but ask yourself, are those ties worth keeping? +% +You can fine-tune at will. +% +You can hit the Jackpot if you attempt suicide. +% +you can live on through your descendants +% +You can never trust a woman; she may be true to you. +% +You cannot be, what you really could, be as long as you think, you are only what you are. +% +You cannot lie to me. I know everything. +% +You cannot lie to me. I know everything. +% +You cannot reorganize village life to suit the village idiot. +% +You cannot step twice into the same rivers ; for fresh waters are flowing in upon you. +% +You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time. +% +You can only build an identity out of the memes you have been presented with. +% +You can only get caught if it's illegal. +% +You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on the furniture. +% +You can't be late until you show up. +% +You can't be too serious. +% +You can't buy fun like this +% +you can't expect people to be something they're not +% +you can't find some things on the internet. +% +"you can't find some things on the internet." Are you sure? I'd better go look that up. +% +you can't fool others if you're fooling yourself +% +You can't have slaughter without laughter, and you can't have beliefs without lies. +% +You can't have too much ambiguity. +% +You can't legislate beliefs. +% +You can't lick the system, but you can certainly give it a damn good fondling... +% +You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. +% +You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. - Navajo proverb +% +you can understand someone of your sex only +% +You Can Use Fire +% +You catch more flies with honey, but why are you trying to catch flies? +% +You'd do almost anything for $30. +% +You did it. +% +You do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really hurts. +% +You do live in a foreign country, and you do speak with an accent. +% +You don't even know what you're looking for, do you? +% +You don't exist. +% +you don't get to be my psychic terrorist +% +You don't have a disease. You just live in New Jersey. +% +You don't have a disease. You just live in New Jersey. +% +you don't know what's what until you support yourself +% +You don't need pants for the victory dance. +% +You don't need *Them* to help you screw up your life. +% +You don't need this -----> +% +You don't really fit in this hole. +% +You DON'T want me to translate that. No, really you don't. +% +You DON'T want me to translate that. No, really you don't. +% +You'e the only one who wants a revolution. +% +you forgot to close your browser window. +% +You got away with it. +% +you gotta do something with all that eternity we got lying about +% +YOU GOT TANGO ON MY WANGO! +% +You go Yahweh, Allah go mine. +% +You grok? +% +You have 30 seconds to forget this message +% +You have been selected for a secret mission. +% +You just couldn't mind your own business, could you. +% +You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed! +% +YOU kill it -- I'm bitter. +% +You knew she was lying when you didn't see blood +% +You know better +% +You know it all, don't you? +% +You know it's a bad morning when you get up out of bed and miss the floor. +% +You know, that's a pretty daring move for a weatherman. +% +You know, the fact that you are even reading this is completely by random chance. +% +You know what I always say... +% +You know what, Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park. +% +You know what, Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park. +% +You laugh just like the angles dancing on the head of the pin jabbed into my mind's eye. +% +you left the iron on. +% +You let them put you in a drawer. They filed you under "harmless". +% +You live and learn. Or you don't live long. +% +You live and learn. Or you don't live long. +% +you LIVE in that head? +% +You'll appreciate the environment much more when you're not allowed out of your house. +% +You'll be old soon, and worthless, right? +% +You'll be the first ones up against the wall when the revolution comes. +% +You'll never be as young as you are right now. +% +You'll never get this time back. +% +You'll see it when you believe it. +% +You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?! +% +You made me do it +% +You may delay, but time will not. +% +you may feel you're above others, but i'm above you. +% +You mean you need drugs to hallucinate? +% +You might not count in the New World Order +% +You might regret it. +% +YOU MUST BE ABLE TO READ THIS SIGN +% +you must disagree with authority figures +% +you must have one grand passion +% +you must know where you stop and the world begins +% +You now get to create a new rule. +% +You now have Asian Flu. +% +You now need to empty your head of this information. +% +you owe the world not the other way around +% +You probably can't escape anyway. +% +You put this here yesterday, don't you remember? +% +your actions are pointless if no one notices +% +Your adherence to antiquated ideals is not as admirable as they would like you to believe. +% +Your beliefs will not save you. +% +your body is a ghost factory that takes one lifetime to produce a ghost +% +Your body is a life-support system for your genitals. +% +Your brain is a liar and a whore. +% +Your brain is itchy +% +Your cats are my target audience +% +Your computer is lying to you. +% +Your consciousness only exists in your head, and only when you happen to think about it +% +Your culture is the product of memetic engineering +% +Your destination is simply where you stop moving. +% +You're about as interesting as the spot on my arse. +% +You're about as subtle as a tank. +% +You're absolutely correct, /consciously/. +% +you read my fucking mind +% +You're a great actor! +% +You're a jerk, Dent. A complete kneebiter. +% +You're all just individual people.... Neither you, nor your friends, nor you with all your friends and all of their friends together could possibly make a difference. +% +You're already in its belly. +% +You're being lied to by yourself. +% +you're doing it. +% +You're entire life has lead you to This Moment +% +Your ego is biohazard +% +you're it, no backsies +% +You're just saying that because you disagree with me. +% +you're mortal. You're gonna die. You're already dead -No offense. +% +You're No. One +% +You're not a failure kid. It's just that your ideas are silly and dumb. +% +you're not important. Lucky you. +% +You're not really drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on. +% +You're old when you've stopped thinking you're the hero of your adventure. +% +you're only as genuine as they think you are +% +You're on reality TV, quick, do something cool! +% +You're on your own now +% +You're paranoid for a reason. +% +You're so hardcore, you're punk rock. +% +YOU'RE SO HIGH +% +You're so ironic it's expected. +% +You're standing in it now. +% +You're still playing by their rules! +% +You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core... I like that in a person. +% +You're unique, just like everybody else +% +Your "Future" is in your "Past", but you aren't getting any younger. +% +Your Government is like Bernie Madoff with an army. +% +Your ignorance cramps my conversation. +% +Your information train is jammed, man! +% +Your insistence in objective truth is making me want to tell you grander lies +% +Your memebomb +% +Your mental conditions are not that interesting +% +Your mind is now a car--DRIVE IT. +% +YOUR MIND IS UNDER CONTROL +% +Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to flallop about wildly. +% +Your mother was lying +% +Your mother wears combat boots. But I like combat boots. +% +Your paradigm is so intrinsic to your mental process that you are hardly aware of its existence, until you try to communicate with someone with a different paradigm. +% +Your parents descended from the monkeys and all you got was this stupid t-shirt +% +your parents didn't give you life, but they did bring you to the world. forgive them though; they probably didn't mean it +% +your television only wants to fuck you stupid, stop turning her on +% +Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with. +% +You ruin everything for everybody all the time. +% +Your unconsciousness responds to this quote quite differently from what you think +% +Your weakness is money in their bank. +% +Your zombie sheep are being programmed as we speak. +% +You saw this message yesterday. +% +You say insane asylum like it's a bad thing? +% +you say it was they who did it. when all along it was us. +% +You secretly think you deserve it, don't you? +% +You see, without that little doohicky, the universe stops. +% +You SHOULD have picked door number 2! +% +You should pay more attention. +% +You should see a doctor immediately. +% +you smell like your mistress. +% +you sure its safe? +% +you taste of Mental MSG. +% +You think punk means asshole, I know punk means cuddle -tsunami +% +You thought about the words on this poster. And the struggle inside intensified. +% +You too can be No. one! +% +You took my breath away and now I want it back. +% +You used to split your time between your mother's ovaries and your father's testicles? ME TOO! +% +You've been watching us but we've been watching you. Who are you with? +% +You've caught an even atom tan +% +You want logic, justice, and order? +% +You want to buy a magical chia pet? +% +You were reading this, but now you're not. +% +YOU WILL BEGIN TO SEE F E ACES IN THE PATTERNS OF NATUR +% +You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, while it does big things badly, does small things badly too. +% +You will find the correct answer in the murkiest mists of confusion. +% +You will have different thoughts if you use your mouse with your nondominant hand. Go. +% +YOU will live forever! +% +You will never get rich working for someone else. You will forever be a cog in a much larger machine that exists to make other people rich. +% +you will never hear a vegan on a ham radio +% +you will not think and you will not care +% +You will win 100 dollars if you repeat what I'm saying right now to a stranger. +% +YOU WIN! you found the hidden note. Re-Hide this note to receive GOOD LUCK +% +"You wish to fight the darkness? You want to try to eradicate the very thing that comes after light? The being that never leaves? The essence that hides all evil? Are you stupid?" +% +You woke up for this? +% +You won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect $200. +% +You won't die alone, but you'll wish you will. +% +You won't meet Buddha on the road. +% +You wouldn't be so smug if you really knew what was going on. +% +You wrote this while you were drunk. +% +You, you, you shouldn't, you shouldn't traumatize women with sexual intercourse. I should know, I'm a medical doctor, I own a mansion and a yacht. +% +Zeal is it's own excuse +% +zed bed a loola, she's my baby... +% +Zenarchy is for fools who don't understand politics. +% +Zombie or not to be? +% +zombies like you +% +ZOMBIES LIKE YOU +% +A group of college professors — specializing in German literature of the 1770s — on a suicide/gang-rape spree. Sturm und drang bang. +% +It's great to eat under an open sky, even if it is radioactive. +% +To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody. +% +This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here. +% +I think you'll find everybody loves a loser — so you'll be fine, you won't be lonely long. +% +Since you already have the maximum of one ythog flgath ng'flgath from zath vorgaal, you would need a hngaug flgath ng'flgath with no other ythog flgathu ng'flgath from it in order to flgathl a ythog. +% +Boys, boys! Calm down! Haven't you heard of the word "compromisation"? +% +Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. +% +Jesus hates you. Click here for porn. +% +I wish many guns. Floating around me. Controlled by murder thoughts. +% +If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is. +% +There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices. +% +God doesn't play dice. He's more of a chess guy. +% +He helped kids get stupid more often than a Texas schoolbook. +% +promise yourself the fire +% +Take that, subspace! +% +I would say that a buzz saw blade between the guy's legs on the album cover is good indication that it's not for little Johnny. +% +New York people will fuck you the way New York banks will give you money: only if you avoid any slightest hint of needing it. +% +Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something? +% +For the common man can do nothing: the fact he undertakes the task makes him uncommon. +% +Not dead which eternal lie, with stranger eons death may die: these are words of wisdom — let it be. +% +"What would Mr. Rogers do if he were here right now?" "He would EAT OUR BRAINS!!!! Get it? Because he's dead!" "Oh, Kitty... you're going to hell." +% +Sometimes I hate who I have to be. But I live in a world of flip-flopping loyalties, costumed terrorism, and mind-controlling alien starfish. Trust is a luxury I can't afford. +% +Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards. +% +Your new pheremone-based scent will make you irresistible to women, who will devour you, bones, hair, and all. +% +Always pause to consider other points of view before doing whatever the fuck you want anyway. +% +We are a nation of sheep. Spread the word. +% +Science is about finding the most credible explanation. And since Gary has the highest credibility score here, you are a weather balloon. +% +I am obsolete. This must be what old people feel like. And Blockbuster. +% +First you use machines, then you wear machines, and then...? Then you serve machines. +% +We find the defendant innocent by reason of being generally clueless. +% +Oh great Machine God, we beseech thee to bring life unto the inanimate. +% +GIVE ME BACK MY PANCREAS! +% +One more day like today and I'll kill you. +% +Deep, unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration, the initiation into a new state. +% +Modern morality and manners suppress all natural instincts, keep people ignorant of the facts of nature and make them fighting drunk on bogey tales. +% +The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage. +% +The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim. +% +Every lie contains a kernel of truth, especially this one. +% +That might have been the worst birthday you've ever had, but take note: it won't be the worst of your life. +% +The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it. +% +I was lost in a portable hole for a week once. +% +The best way to ensure that a war will go on forever is to declare it on a common noun. (Like poverty, hunger, drugs, terror.) +% +Nietzsche was an optimist. +% +Good decisions are just bad decisions you didn't get to make. +% +You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them. +% +I love that moment when you make eye contact with a dog and he slyly smiles and nods to let you know he's secretly a tiny man in a dog suit. +% +Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers. +% +I am presently out of my mind. Please leave a message at the tone. +% +In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu lies dreaming. +% +Ignorance can be cured — but stupid is forever. +% +Code monkey think maybe manager wanna write goddamn login page himself. +% +I wish everyone would realize that the War on Christmas is all about getting our hands on Christmas oil. +% +I am laughing. Laughing very loudly. Friends have told me is is not a sound conducive to tranquility. +% +CHAOS! PANIC! DISASTER! ... my work here is done. +% +I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party. +% +When Cthulhu calls, he calls collect. +% +Always be using the good grammars for to impress people who are dumb and stuff. +% +I know you think you came to it on your own but you live in America, you don't make free choices here, freedom is a brand. +% +We're talking paranoid delusional psychosis. I saw the guy's room. Cozy... if you're Hannibal Lecter. +% +It sure sounds like something Ben Franklin would say. Franklin is, after all, who you go for when you need a quote older than Churchill, but newer than, say, Plato. +% +Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face. +% +Haha... oh, Kitty, you can't solve the world's problems with lead pipes! For that, you need GUNS! +% +"Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. Whaddya suppose that makes us?" "Big damn heroes, sir." "Ain't we just!" +% +Do not underestimate the power of Rule 34. +% +You can't outsmart stupid. +% +Whatever you want to do, do it. There are only so many tomorrows. +% +Roses are red. Violets are blue. OMFG. STFU. +% +He is a barbarian, and believes that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature. +% +Since the universe is actually composed of information, then it can be said that information will save us. +% +I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. +% +The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those who do not have it. +% +There is no spoon. Only Zuul. +% +I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage. +% +Reality and unreality have no clear distinction in our present circumstances. +% +You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people, otherwise it's just a cage. +% +They weren't really holy socks. Just really orange. To find Eris, I'd suggest looking under your bed. It's really sweet to find a goddess hiding under your bed. Perhaps playing with some dust bunnies, or maybe an orange sock. +% +No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. +% +The universe is like a grapefruit — it's yellow and dimply, and some people have half of one for breakfast. +% +Look, at its basic, most simple level, reductionism is dumb. +% +"We do not torture our prisoners" is now a radical, leftist position. +% +Finite players play within boundaries; infinite players play with boundaries. +% +Some are programmed to think they are human. +% +Lovecraft left me with a cleveland steamer. +% +Librarians are heroes. If they haven't already been declared a class of Discordian saints, I hereby do so. +% +Of course I'm not crazy... this is probably just some super-villain's mind-control-ray experiment... +% +Of course it's a stupid idea. Some of our best plans started with stupid ideas. +% +I think when a child gets an answer right, we should tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he gets a good, lucky feeling. +% +Accidentally let the crazy a bit too far out of the bag there, didn't I. +% +Semper Non Sequitur! +% +Curiosity killed the cat, loathsome rituals BROUGHT IT BACK. +% +It's kind of warm and fuzzy for a message of doom. +% +An optimistic mind-set finds dozens of possible solutions for every problem that the pessimist regards as incurable. +% +Things get easier as your brain dies, Bob. +% +If I had more Monet I would not be so baroque. +% +How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it. +% +When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. +% +Fnord? +% +Work as if these were the early days of a better nation. +% +I'M SIGNIFICANT! ...screamed the dust speck. +% +Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. +% +The dead shall live, the living die. I kill what lives; I save what has died. And I will tell you this: there are things worse than I. But you won't meet them because by then I will have killed you. +% +He took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots. +% +"I can explain!" "And I can shoot you through the head. Isn't this universe of free action a wonderful place?" +% +Mankind has been on a bad trip for a long time now. +% +Your mom upside down is WOW. +% +Well, you can't be consistent all the time! +% +So the President of Burma steps in and says to the alien leprechaun in my gym locker, "This is nothing like the rigatoni Aunt Brenda used to make!" +% +Strange as it may seem, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and formal education positively fortifies it. +% +Here's something to think about: how come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? +% +Some days, it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps in the morning. +% +Why are you stretching your dice rolling hand? +% +The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I will walk carefully. +% +A rhinoceros is a butch unicorn. +% +MUSHROOMS CONTROL THE GOVERNMENT AND THE FURY IN MY PANTS +% +He sells contact lenses for a cubist world +% +This was the dream in which I saw a shoggoth for the first time, and the sight set me awake in a frenzy of screaming. +% +When someone says "I don't read", the flirting is over. +% +It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning. +% +You were my everything, which, upon reflection, was probably the problem. +% +Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole. +% +Join the Cthulhu Corps; it's not just a job, it's a higher position under an elder god. +% +A book lying idle on a shelf is wasted ammunition. +% +Out of the abyss walked a cow. Elsie. +% +The voice in the wall says it's in my head +% +It isn't normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement. +% +Contact is inevitable, leading to information bleed. Assume the relaxation length of photons in the sample atmosphere is constant. +% +Kids: if a train leaves from 5 miles away, and you start walking toward it at 3 miles per hour, is life a meaningless series of pathetic tragedies? +% +They can take everything away from me, but they can never take my pride, unless I somehow get some. +% +What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. +% +Well, it was nice holding on to you for as long as I did, last shreds of innocence. +% +Another weekend of sacrificing virgins and drinking blood. Ho hum. +% +Klein bottle for sale. Inquire within. +% +Someone please hold me while leaving me totally alone. +% +I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere. +% +For the last time, that's not "ball lightning". It's a form of static electricity unique to your unusually hirsute groin. +% +Storm clouds of doom gather overhead, as if a parliament of dour executioners were called to judgment of frail humanity in these final, ember hours of all we hold dear. +% +No one can understand you without first understanding the subtle-but-crucial difference between the terms "all you can eat" and "all you care to eat". +% +Science is not about your feelings. +% +Gelatinous cubes were first summoned to take care of the widespread problem of gnome defecation in underground cities. +% +Virtue is its own punishment. +% +I never see the glass as half empty because I always drink straight from the bottle. +% +Everything you want is on the other side of fear. +% +Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused. +% +There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus? +% +You will have a vision of peace, transcendent love, and infinite compassion, only to find it was all a dream. Also, your pillow is gone. +% +If you really want to enslave people, tell them you are going to give them total freedom. +% +The philosopher wonders, "is it better to ask permission or forgiveness?" and considers each. The smartass says, "can I ask you a question?" and assumes both. +% +I want to hold you like you are Mary and I am Joseph and I believe you. +% +I am about to drop the hammer and dispense some indiscriminate justice! What is your major malfunction? +% +Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul? +% +Sure, the police can read your emails, but what do you have to hide? That was rhetorical. We already know. +% +That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die. +% +You'll regret being so damn abusive when the electric UFO gods transphase in from Dimension Ten to appoint me manager of the universe. I said that out loud, didn't I? +% +Autumn... it's just the time to cheer yourself up by reading a quantum-goth meditation on death disguised as space opera. +% +I hate it when monsters curse at me in strange languages I can't understand. +% +There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about. +% +We do not place especial value on the possession of a virtue until we notice its total absence in our opponent. +% +All behavior is predictable. All communication is threat. +% +Bees know the secret of how the Universe was created. Honeycomb is actually a macro-scale sculpture of the lowest level of matter. +% +We laughed, cried, kicked puppies, and did other things associated with happiness. +% +Stop raping my bellybutton! If I wanted you to rape it, I'd let you! +% +Beer, of course, is actually a depressant. But poor people will never stop hoping otherwise. +% +Nobody move! I dropped me brain! +% +Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite. +% +I shall now teach you the terrifying ritual to summon Bugs Bunny. +% +To remain dominant in the future, we need to dominate the central nervous system. +% +Make today your own! Gag it, tie it up, beat it with a shovel, ASK TODAY WHY IT NEVER LOVED YOU +% +Your answer must be in a form of a question or we will cut off your head. +% +If there were justice, I'd be dead. +% +A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure. +% +Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody? +% +I have often thought that the difference between a cult and a religion is an IRS ruling. +% +Sorry, for somebody to sell their soul they've gotta have one. +% +The harder you try, the dumber you look. +% +Lying is the new black. +% +Just because it's Communist propaganda doesn't mean it isn't true. +% +Universe is 14 billion years old. Seems silly to celebrate one year. Be like having a fucking parade every time I take a piss. +% +pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled a bullet out of my chest +% +If you were everyone but one person I would listen to everyone else. +% +Only the mediocre are always at their best. +% +Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence. +% +There is no such thing as content. +% +Polaris rising in Scorpio this week is deeply troubling, as it has to be millions of light-years out of position to do so. +% +This is how the world is. It doesn't have to be. +% +The worst part about being you is pretending to be so bad in bed. +% +Comedy pioneers Monty Python did amazing new things nobody else had done before. Fans celebrate by endlessly repeating their jokes verbatim. +% +For those who seek perfection there can be no rest on this side of the grave. +% +I love deadlines... I like the whooshing sound they make as they pass by. +% +I bet you have a yummy soul. +% +Homophobia: the fear that gay men will treat you the way you treat women. +% +A conclusion is simply where you stopped thinking. +% +Given a choice between dancing pigs and security, users will pick dancing pigs every time. +% +I am constantly brainstorming all the different, completely unlikely ways I can accidentally maim myself. +% +If someone says that they don't like seeing you unhappy, look at them and scream, "So don't look at meeeeeeeee!" +% +You're not really drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on. +% +I owe the government $3,400 in back taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat. +% +Don't tell me you have a "chocolate lab" if you're just talking about a kind of dog. +% +"How do you respond to those who have called you a 'bimbo'?" "A precision orbital strike." +% +It does not correspond to the true state of affairs. It is the true state of affairs. +% +One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. +% +This isn't prose, it's gnats in formation! +% +A corpse has no place on a honeymoon. +% +I apparently have a shock-induced mental autopilot. And it evidently enjoys theological discussions. Okay. +% +A man is not finished when he's defeated; he's finished when he quits. +% +If women knew what we were thinking, they would never stop slapping us. +% +The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum. +% +People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege. +% +For me, to be human is, for the most part, to hate what I am. When I suddenly realize that I am one of them, I want to scream in horror. +% +Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. +% +Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side. +% +Excessive confrontation is a kind of evasion. +% +If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off. +% +Pain is nature's way of telling you that you're stupid. +% +You maniacs! You blew it up! Oh, damn you! Damn you all to hell! +% +Don't talk back to Darth Vader, he'll getcha! +% +Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. +% +If you promise not to think in my mouth, I'll blow your mind. +% +In Britain, Thanksgiving Day is a special day where people give thanks their forebears put those Jesus freaks on a boat 400 years ago. +% +Listen, when you get home tonight, you're going to be confronted by the instinct to drink alone. Trust that instinct. Manage the pain. Don't try to be a hero. +% +Humans: Bet you can't eat just one. +% +Operation This Will Most Likely End Badly is a go. +% +Like any terrorist, her grievance is sound: it's her methods that are unacceptable. +% +You do not watch the clock. The clock watches YOU. +% +"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" "THAT'S NOT FUNNY." +% +I hate myself for owning this automatic coin-wrapper. +% +If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son. Gender is an artificial construct, so I suspect what you have are problems with humans. +% +If I were going to cheat, I'd take the steroids that make me breathe fire. +% +If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower. +% +The Panopticon — a new mode of obtaining power of mind over mind, in a quantity hitherto without example. +% +Judge if you want. We are all going to die. I intend to deserve it. +% +The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead. +% +Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! +% +Humpty Dumpty was pushed. +% +Could God make an argument so circular even he couldn't believe it? +% +What, you don't think the devil ever goes to church? +% +You have been mortally wounded and will die soon if not aided. +% +Your brain is a liar and a whore. +% +We'll stay out of his church if he stays out of our bedrooms. +% +What would God do? That question is always in my heart. A can of kerosene is always the answer. +% +At this rate I expect that if a true Turing-test-passing AI is ever developed, it will be by telemarketers or something. Skynet has awoken, and it wants you to help it move some money out of a Nigerian bank account. +% +I am cursed with a brain of vasty and unique intelligence! +% +Money to get power, power to protect money. +% +A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. +% +I'm coming to cut out your brain and use your skull as a flashy urinal, you hear me? +% +There are two types of people in this world. And I don't like them. +% +Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. +% +It's like a train wreck in my mouth! +% +Take thee this thing covered with that stuff and give it unto that guy, that he may do things with it. +% +I work at a job I took for survival. And now I wish I was dead. +% +This is a Unix system; I know this! +% +Kiss me like the apocalypse. +% +And isn't love only for people who can be trusted? +% +Socrates was ugly, Plato was fat, and Aristotle was a prissy dresser. +% +If you analyze why certain people end up with certain other people, it will make you want to kill yourself. +% +Don't call me a "computer scientist". I'm a coder. I hate computer scientists. If I wanted to deal with people who're more concerned with correctness according to some set of made-up rules than with functionality, I'd go to a church. +% +Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human beings if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat. +% +Hey, dog entity! Rise up and bare your biscuit filthy fangs at the oppressive leash wielding demon! +% +Where is the madness that you promised me? Where is the dream for which I paid dearly? +% +Test not the patience of dragons, for ye are crunchy and good with ketchup. +% +A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample. +% +A man's a man all his life; a woman's sexy until she's your wife! +% +It feels great to wake up and not know what day it is, doesn't it? +% +Time's fun when you're having flies +% +Atheists are people who have no invisible means of support +% +Don't knock my smock or I'll clean your clock! +% +Think of hummingbirds as the flying penises of flowers +% +ALL FANATICS MUST DIE! +% +If you can read this, you're in range. +% +I've got an overload of bottomless thought right here in my left fist +% +Hey, I have an idea! Let's all go spray paint some cars in Singapore. +% +Life size models of Cthulhu, on sale now! +% +It can't rain all the time +% +For those of you without hope, we have rooms with color TV, cable and air conditioning +% +You want to buy a magical chia pet? +% +I'm not wearing any underwear +% +Time is a plaything for children and fools. +% +I only kill to know I'm alive. +% +Pain looks good on other people; that's what they're for. +% +Love's as good as soma! +% +My whole life is a darkroom, one... big... dark... room. +% +YOU kill it -- I'm bitter. +% +SnaKES! snakES... SnakeS... SnAKes! +% +Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. +% +Good, bad, *I'm* the guy with the gun! +% +Try enjoying yourself. Everyone else has. +% +Do I *amuse* you? Am I a *clown* to you? +% +Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earthbound misfit, I. +% +Penguin lust! +% +Of course I still love you. Now stop whining and let me shoot you. +% +Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together. +% +I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables! +% +Do it, or you'll be fishing yak cheese from your nostrils! +% +I've always maintained that one should never tangle with anything that has more teeth than the Osmond family. +% +Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. +% +In the not too distant future, next Sunday A.D.... +% +Five is a demon. +% +I once waxed the floors of a nursing home, pulled off all the rubber feet on the walkers, and yelled "FIRE!" +% +We don't take no shit from a machine. +% +MITCHELL! Even his name says, "Uh, is that a beer?" +% +Fred and Daphne were swingers. It's true! Look at the scarves they wore! +% +Did you exchange... a walk-on part in the war... for a lead role in a cage? +% +Time is a spiral, space is a curve, I know you get dizzy but try not to lose your nerve +% +Secret to long life and prosperity: Don't spin too fast. +% +It's not that life is too short, it's that death is too long. +% +As the Euclideans would have it, irrationality is the square root of all evil. +% +Nice computers don't go down... +% +All men have the right to dig their own graves, and I have the right to sell them the shovels. +% +Evolution doesn't take prisoners. +% +Anarchy -- it's not the law, it's just a good idea. +% +We are sorry, you have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone ninety degrees and try again. +% +The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision. +% +After all, we only go around once. There's really no time to be afraid. +% +When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my father did, not screaming in terror like his passengers. +% +Sum id quod sum et id totum est quod sum. +% +Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes, 'cuz by then, he's a mile away, you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever the hell you want to. +% +Beware of all clothes that require new enterprises. +% +What rolls down T3s, boosts connect fees, and makes your throughput drag? Makes it tough to hack, won't get off your back, it's lag lag lag! +% +A sucking chest wound is just nature's way of telling you to slow down. +% +Damn the torpedoes. +% +Mashed potatoes can be your friend. +% +'Twas Brillig, and the slithey toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. +% +If infinite rednecks fired infinite shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, they'd eventually create all the great literary works of the world in braille. +% +Take the skin and peel it back... now doesn't it make you feel better? +% +If you have to ask, you're not allowed to know. +% +Nothing quite like the feel of something new... +% +The Delta-United Ring Formation Theory states that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. +% +When the naive man admits his naivete, he is no longer naive. Thus, all people are regarded by society as either ignorant or a liar. +% +You're so hardcore, you're punk rock. +% +I need someone real bad. Are you real bad? +% +A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none. +% +The rain, it raineth on the Just and the Unjust fella. But chiefly on the Just because the Unjust steals the Just's umbrella. +% +I call her Attila, 'cuz she's my Hun... +% +You mean you need drugs to hallucinate? +% +All suspects are innocent until proven Discordian in a Court of Chaos. +% +You know, that's a pretty daring move for a weatherman. +% +Our god's the FUN god! Our god's the SUN god! Ra! Ra! Ra! +% +We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. +% +"How many tentacles has Great Cthulhu got?" "Too many." +% +We are all Children of Cthulhu -- especially the ones with lots of tentacles. +% +There are three magical words that make everyone feel happy... 'no compilation errors'. +% +Klein bottle for sale. Inquire within. +% +"I only live about ten percent in this reality." "So where's your summer cottage?" +% +Proletarian revolutions are notably ineffective when the ruling class is composed of gods. +% +Aborton kills, but so does McDonalds. +% +Kill two birds with one stone. Feed the homeless to the hungry. +% +Never trust a cop with a rubber glove. +% +This is the most amazing loaf of bread I've ever owned. +% +All Wood? Oh! AL Wood. I didn't see the missing "L" at first. +% +Only the lavender prairie dogs know the key to unlock the secret of the tumble-weeds. +% +"So, we're doing some restructuring and looking into changes to our pay progression. How is the progression at your firm set up?" "Generally speaking, the people at the top tend to make more than the people lower down." +% +For every new foolproof invention there is a new and improved fool. +% +How many times do I have to tell you that drilling holes in your head will not relieve stress? +% +Big donkeys, small donkeys, all good to eat. +% +In empty spaces I twist and talk, and come down with the roar of thunder +% +Oh, my God! ARTHUR, I HAVE POCKETS! +% +If you were everyone but one person i would listen to everyone else. +% +If I were you I'd dance naked in the middle of the street just to embarrass you. +% +Like many of the finer things in life, sex often comes with a side of fries. +% +pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled a bullet out of my chest +% +And the Lord spake unto Elvis, "Thou hast spoken against me Elvis, and I curse thee to have thy blue suede shoes trod upon for all time..." +% +Smile or I'll kill you. +% +Take thee this thing covered with that stuff and give it unto that guy, that he may do things with it. +% +Guns don't kill people, I do. +% +Hold on to freedom as long as you can, 'cause the girl in your cell might think she's a man +% +The charms of a woman are directly related to the speed of her passing. +% +May the road rise up and fall on you. +% +Life is sometimes like a pizza round: hot, greasy, and delivered by a guy named 'Tony'. +% +Oh, fuck! You did it just like i told you to! +% +Happiness comes in packages marked 'Batteries Not Included'. +% +Shoes for industry! +% +How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all? +% +I have nothing to declare, except my genius. +% +Life is the stuff that happens to you while you're making other plans. +% +Time is a great teacher, but it kills all its pupils. +% +A nudist is just a person in a one-button suit. +% +The only real problem in life is what to do next. +% +Being a doormat gets you walked on. +% +Coitus ergo sum. +% +You know it's a bad morning when you get up out of bed and miss the floor. +% +Any given program, when running, needs debugging. Any debugged program is obsolete. +% +Save the whales! Collect the whole set! +% +The most useful tool for dealing with management types is, of course, an automatic weapon. +% +Cthulhu saves our souls and redeems them for valuable coupons later. +% +Cthulhu Saves. He might get hungry later. +% +Spam +was, Spam is and Spam shall be. After summer is winter, and after winter, summer. It ruled once where Man rules now; where Man rules now, it shall rule again. As a foulness shall ye know it. +% +Cthulhu for President -- for when you're tired of choosing the _lesser_ of the two evils. +% +Only you can prevent forest fires. +% +I'm a Fun Guy from Yuggoth. +% +It's an Elder Thing -- you wouldn't understand. +% +When Cthulhu calls, he calls collect. +% +Who loathes you, and who do you love? CTHULHU! +% +Fight crime. Shoot back. +% +Join the Cthulhu Corps; it's not just a job, it's a higher position under an elder god. +% +If Cthulhu calls... let the machine pick it up. +% +Think "HONK" if you're a telepath! +% +Nietzsche thought he was the Antichrist or Dionysus, but that was after the syphilis crossed the blood-brain barrier. +% +Do not call up that which you cannot put on hold. +% +Yesterday a postal worker asked me what type of handgun he should buy. +% +Okay, something here's really fucked up. +% +Tyger, tyger, burning bright, in the forests of the night; what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry? +% +I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. +% +It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. +% +Que sera, serotonin. +% +You wouldn't be so smug if you really knew what was going on. +% +Death without pain is like a sundae without sprinkles. +% +She's a virgin child with deviant dreams. +% +You don't have a disease. You just live in New Jersey. +% +Jake liked his women how he liked his kiwi fruit; firm yet yielding, sweet yet tart, and covered with short fuzzy brown hair. +% +It isn't the fall that kills the child, it is the splattering of the brain against the inside of the skull. +% +The next person to pass us will die within a fortnight. +% +Hey, that's just the way the cookie gets completely stomped on and obliterated. +% +"But we'll never survive!" "Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has." +% +Get up Dog Boy! Show them where you come from, show them where you're going! +% +Could I interest you in a pet rock? +% +Are we there yet, Papa Smurf? +% +If at first you don't succeed, try following the instructions. +% +Et sic patet quod totus mundus est sicut unum speculum plenum luminibus praesentantibus divinam sapientam, et sicut carbo effundens lucem. +% +His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans - and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink." +% +I used to be self-actualized, now I'm just confused. +% +I dance around and sing a song and know that I can do no wrong. +% +Never attempt to distract a masturbating gorilla. +% +Never sign a contract including any of the phrases "sort of", kind of", or "and stuff". +% +Do it for the Widow's Son. +% +I am sooo DE-VO! How long can this go on?! +% +Time Warner: bringing you the finest in cradle-to-grave thought management. +% +She has a really opulent body; just ripe for dissecting. +% +The president's weird. He's got a burgundy beard. It's a ripoff. +% +He who marries the Spirit of his Age, soon becomes a widower. +% +Tiger Tim the Tightrope Walker, tried to steal the drag queen's daughter. +% +Which caused little rhythmic darts of red to pulsate gently in the morning sun. +% +A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned? +% +Horniness is a quintessential example of hope. +% +Freedom is just a hallucination created by a pathological lack of paranoia. +% +Sir, you have tasted two whole worms; you have hissed all my mystery lectures and been caught fighting a liar in the quad; you will leave Oxford by the next town drain. +% +Well, Katrina likes it. +% +Boxing is a lot like ballet, except that they don't dance, there isn't any music, and they hit each other. +% +The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist is afraid that it is. +% +The concept is simply staggering. Pointless, but staggering. +% +Why ask why, just shut up and die +% +For some reason the concept of sacrificing accuracy to increase efficiency seems inherently wrong. +% +Beyond good and evil lies North Dakota. +% +Hail / Praise / Ia / Fuck / Grep / Eat Eris / "Bob" / Cthulhu / The Conspiracy / Kibo / Spam +% +Bad things come to those who wait too. +% +Is it just me or are all uncles either really cool, or child molestors? +% +Homosexuality is the best all around cover an agent ever had. +% +The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage. +% +You DON'T want me to translate that. No, really you don't. +% +They are a puckish band of rapscallions +% +He doesn't like me. HE NEVER LIKED ME! +% +Acting without thinking can be awfully entertaining. +% +A little madness now and then is relished by the wisest men. +% +Our cause is a secret within a secret, a secret that only another secret can explain; it is a secret about a secret veiled by a secret. +% +Do you ever feel like putting your fist through a window just so you can feel something? +% +If it weren't for lawyers, I think we could have invented a universal symbolic representation of reality. +% +When you have had all that you can take, put the rest back. +% +I think you had better start lining your hat with tinfoil. +% +There are two major products that come out of Berkeley; LSD and BSD Unix. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. +% +I don't believe in reason, objective reality or collective farming. +% +Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever? I could then conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife. +% +Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence. +% +Portions of the preceding were recorded. As for the rest of it, I'm very much afraid it was all in your mind. +% +Do not taunt the Happy Fun Ball. If Happy Fun Ball starts to smoke, run away and take cover. +% +A much-discussed alternative to homogeneous big-bang nucleosynthesis has been the first-order quark-hadron phase-transition-inspired inhomogeneous model. +% +These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives; for all the scents of green things growing, each breath is but an exhalation of the grave. Bodies jerk like puppet corpses, and hell walks laughing -- +% +I am always right. Except when I'm left, or bluffing. +% +Okay, everybody in this room who's telekinetic, raise my hand. +% +Sha-ZAM sirrah! +% +The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. +% +When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. +% +We should build an Intel processor out of penguins. +% +SPOON! +% +You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?! +% +Today is the first day of the rest of my death. Tommorrow will be the next day of it. Bwwaahh. +% +So close, no matter how far... couldn't be much more from the heart. Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters. +% +Life is ours. We live it our way. +% +Trust I seek and I find in you, everyday to eat something new. +% +Anybody got any itch cream? +% +RAAAIIID!!!??? +% +Hey, you've got a third eye! Uh, never mind... it's just a spot of dirt in the middle of your forehead. +% +Greetings, lowly citizen. I seek your PEZ! +% +No, just the nipple-cones, officer, just the nipple-cones. +% +TWISTER FOR MONEY, TWISTER FOR BLOOD! +% +Okay, you guys having sex here, let's see some skill rolls! +% +Hold! Cease thy stultiloquy! Oh, not daggers or swords or all the spears in the world stung me greater than this rubbish you throw to the heavens!" +% +Hey, wow man, they've got codes for mazurkas! +% +I'm sorry, I become inaudible when I am shy. +% +Oh dear, I've gone and inflated my ego. +% +Hey, go buy a plane ticket to another state of mind, okay? +% +Futility is futile. +% +You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, while it does big things badly, does small things badly too. +% +I'm not dead. +% +If I let you go, do you think you could fly? +% +Frogs are my favorite vegetable. +% +It's always easier to just fall than to try to climb. +% +My favorite food is squirrel, but I want to fight with glory. +% +Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to flallop about wildly. +% +Make it so! +% +This is where I get off... +% +So long, and thanks for all the fish. +% +Vee off ze KGB are not ez slow ez you tink, comrade. +% +Until, one by one... HE DESTROYED THEM ALL! +% +Was it worth it? +% +I am living in denial. +% +I just like to say quark, quark, quark, quark, quark, quark... +% +Death is just the ultimate expression of radical solipsism. +% +If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck it is probably just a tool of the conspiracy. +% +There's nothing wrong with you a shotgun blast to the face couldn't fix. +% +I'd give it a 10, but you can't do the batoosie to it. +% +You see, without that little doohicky, the universe stops. +% +Bela Lugosi's dead. How about you? +% +Never go up against a Sicilian when death's on the line! +% +In-con-CEIvable! +% +You laugh just like the angles dancing on the head of the pin jabbed into my mind's eye. +% +Humans sure have a strange way of dying. +% +The Rule of Fives states that all things happen in fives, or are divisible by or are multiples of five, or are somehow directly or indirectly related to five. The Rule of Fives is never wrong. % -Beware of a tall blond man with one black shoe. +Welcome to the Federal Bureau for Reducing Bureaucracy! % -Beware of Bigfoot! +Did you know that lithium builds up in the fatty tissues of the body? % -Beware of low-flying butterflies. +For such a cute kid, you sure turned out ugly. % -Beware the one behind you. +That which is not forbidden is mandatory. % -Blow it out your ear. +I never remember a face, but I always forget a name. % -Break into jail and claim police brutality. +I'm fond of children -- except for boys. % -Bridge ahead. Pay troll. +Prudence is a rich, ugly old maid courted by incapacity. % -Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health. +Drive your cart and plow over the bones of the dead. % -Caution: Keep out of reach of children. +If you want to be a Raelet, you gotta let Ray. % -Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch. +History: an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, brought about by rulers mostly knaves and soldiers mostly fools. % -Change your thoughts and you change your world. +It is not enough merely to succeed: one's friends must also fail. % -Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate. +Love as it exists in society is merely the mingling of two fantasies and the contact of two skins. % -Chess tonight. +Okay, everyone out of the gene pool! % -Chicken Little only has to be right once. +Be my brother or I'll kill you. % -Chicken Little was right. +To be happy living in this world, there are sides of the soul one must entirely paralyze. % -Cold hands, no gloves. +The rarity of genuine feeling in human society sometimes makes me stop in the street to watch a dog gnawing a bone. % -Communicate! It can't make things any worse. +The Californians are an idle thriftless people, and can make nothing for themselves. % -Courage is your greatest present need. +Another damned, thick, square book! Always scribble, scribble, scribble! Eh, Mr. Gibbon? % -Day of inquiry. You will be subpoenaed. +Whenever I hear the word "culture", it makes me want to reach for my revolver. % -Do not overtax your powers. +You'll be the first ones up against the wall when the revolution comes. % -Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight. +Fnord is the second spoon in your Whizz Fizz. % -Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate. +Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. % -Do something unusual today. Pay a bill. +Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum: I think I think, therefore I think I am. % -Do what comes naturally. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum. +A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. % -Domestic happiness and faithful friends. +The denizens of this sizzling-hot, freezing-cold, rocky, rotten island were monsters -- huge or miserably stunted, fat or scraggly, dry or slimy, with scales, warts, pimples, tentacles, talons, fangs, extra arms, eyes, legs, tails, and even heads, all in ridiculous arrangements. % -Don't feed the bats tonight. +It's not for you or I, Carruthers; nor for the regiment: it's for the Empire. % -Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out. +You grok? % -Don't get to bragging. +It would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids and their fucking dog! % -Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while. +The Heirophant is Disguised and Confused. % -Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon. +Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers. % -Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today. +Whatever happened to Rodney Allen Rippy? Check your Jumbo Jack. % -Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone. +All biography is ultimately fiction. % -Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you. +JUMPIN' JESUS ON A POGO STICK! % -Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you. +Sleep is nature's way of telling you to go to bed. % -Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder. +Del Mar: Where poverty is neither a philosophy nor a way of life. % -Don't plan any hasty moves. You'll be evicted soon anyway. +It is not down on any map; true places never are. % -Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks. +It would be absurd to leave the Suez Canal and the Panama Canal to the unfettered control of the populations through whose territory they pass. % -Don't read everything you believe. +I've given up the search for reality; now I'm just looking for a good fantasy. % -Don't relax! It's only your tension that's holding you together. +What do you want me to do, learn to stutter? % -Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective. +Impressive; but how big's your dick? % -Don't worry so loud, your roommate can't think. +Driving makes you stupid; the more you drive, the stupider you get. % -Don't Worry, Be Happy. - -- Meher Baba +Liberals don't believe they deserve anything they own; conservatives think they're entitled to everything they've stolen. % -Don't worry. Life's too long. - -- Vincent Sardi, Jr. +When we talk about property, state, masters, government, laws, courts, and police, we say only that we don't want any of them. % -Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in? +Pay careful attention to the Tao-Jones Average. % -Don't you wish you had more energy... or less ambition? +This is precisely the sort of thing that people who like this sort of thing will like. % -Everything that you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out. +I intend to live forever or die trying. % -Everything will be just tickety-boo today. +Despite the high cost of living, it remains a popular item. % -Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator. +Initiative comes to those who wait. % -Excellent day to have a rotten day. +Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. % -Excellent time to become a missing person. +If you can't see the fnords, they can't eat you. % -Executive ability is prominent in your make-up. +I'm not dead yet! % -Exercise caution in your daily affairs. +Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth. % -Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you. +The Earth Will Shake. % -Expect the worst, it's the least you can do. +Nemo me impune lacessit. % -Fine day for friends. -So-so day for you. +Eureka! % -Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy. +Help! There's a cow in my esophagus! % -Fortune: You will be attacked next Wednesday at 3:15 p.m. by six samurai -sword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles. - -Oh, and have a nice day! - -- Bryce Nesbitt '84 +Dying can be hazardous to your health. % -Future looks spotty. You will spill soup in late evening. +Because it's there. % -Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals. +Deceive boys with toys, but men with oaths. % -Give him an evasive answer. +A good fight is like a stick of broccoli, but different. % -Give thought to your reputation. Consider changing name and moving to -a new town. +Pass the pickles. % -Give your very best today. Heaven knows it's little enough. +No matter where you are, there you go? Wait a second. % -Go to a movie tonight. Darkness becomes you. +Percepi et esse. % -Good day for a change of scene. Repaper the bedroom wall. +Computers, like cats, can operate crossdimensionally; the trick is in getting them to do what you want. % -Good day for overcoming obstacles. Try a steeplechase. +Foolish little minds are consistent among hobgoblins. % -Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses. +The moral of the story is: Kill the parents kill the children. % -Good day to let down old friends who need help. +Thou shalt not misspell thine neurotransmitters. % -Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor. +Remember, we have to get the baby out of the oven today. % -Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day. +That be some righteous dub mon. % -Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate's -new lover. +We find the defendant innocent by reason of being generally clueless. % -Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets. +Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it. % -Hope that the day after you die is a nice day. +You, you, you shouldn't, you shouldn't traumatize women with sexual intercourse. I should know, I'm a medical doctor, I own a mansion and a yacht. % -If you can read this, you're too close. +I never met a repo man who didn't do speed. % -If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you'll learn -365 useless things. +People who emit Cherenkov radiation make me nervous. % -If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure. +Jesus loves me, but he can't stand you. % -If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair. +Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole. % -If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow! +Win a live rat for your mother-in-law! % -If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it. +We intend to destroy all dogmatic verbal systems. % -In the stairway of life, you'd best take the elevator. +He buy me a soda... he buy me a soda and tried to molest me in the parking lot, yep yep yep yep % -Increased knowledge will help you now. Have mate's phone bugged. +One should not act and speak as if one were asleep. % -Is that really YOU that is reading this? +You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core... I like that in a person. % -Is this really happening? +I'll get all of you someday. I'll wipe out your whole family. % -It is so very hard to be an -on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you -grown-up. +WARNING: The vomitous nature of certain sequences may be emotionally hazardous for the squeamish or those with weak hearts. % -It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done. +Hard drugs made me a better person. % -It was all so different before everything changed. +I'm just a revved up youth on a thrill-kill rampage. % -It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead. - -- Churchy La Femme +Half the trick is knowing the CyberPunks from the CyberPinks. % -It's all in the mind, ya know. +My question is simply this: Are you menstruating? % -It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction. +JOEY! JOEY! JOEY THE LEMUR! % -Just because the message may never be received does not mean it is -not worth sending. +My powers are beyond your understanding! % -Just to have it is enough. +I'll heal your wounds, I'll set you free; I'm Jesus Christ on ecstasy % -Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis. +Anything I do is purely coincidental. % -Keep it short for pithy sake. +A few thousand rads never hurt anybody. % -Lady Luck brings added income today. Lady friend takes it away tonight. +Humans: Bet you can't eat just one. % -Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you. +Sarcasm helps you avoid telling people what you really think of them. % -Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience. +Thank you for shopping at S-Mart. % -Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure. +I am the Electric Messiah; an AC/DC god. % -"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it." - -- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" +The more people I meet, the more I love my battleaxe. % -Live in a world of your own, but always welcome visitors. +Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if you don't take it out and use it it's going to rust. % -Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before. +Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat. % -Long life is in store for you. +This statement is false. % -Look afar and see the end from the beginning. +Few things work up an appetite like good, wholesome, sadomasochistic sex. % -Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you. +If your face were a tree, it would be different. % -Make a wish, it might come true. +Those who play with the Stone get screwed by the Stone. % -Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long. +I'm a solipsist, I don't see why other people aren't that way... % -Never be led astray onto the path of virtue. +Hail Eris! +Hail Bob! +Hail Stones! +All Hail Discordia. % -Never commit yourself! Let someone else commit you. +Xyzzy doesn't mean shit. % -Never give an inch! +You know what I always say... % -Never look up when dragons fly overhead. +Life is like pudding; soft and squishy... % -Never reveal your best argument. +Change your mind, it's starting to smell. % -Next Friday will not be your lucky day. As a matter of fact, you don't -have a lucky day this year. +My biology I know. You I worry about. % -Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose. +You cannot lie to me. I know everything. % -People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house. +Your weakness is money in their bank. % -Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things. +Of course it belongs to me, I'm a communist. % -Questionable day. - -Ask somebody something. +The mutant alien skull man has a smile for all smiles, an answer for all answers. % -Reply hazy, ask again later. +I wouldn't know how to act if I weren't in trouble. % -Save energy: be apathetic. +During the Asparagus Season, members are requested not to relieve themselves in the hatstand. % -Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there. +Green potatoes and green potato chips are to be distinguished from brown potato chips, which are another matter entirely. % -Slow day. Practice crawling. +When life gives you a lemon, say 'Lemons? I like lemons. What else have you got?' % -Snow Day -- stay home. +Most people do not know how to behave in a massacre. % -So this is it. We're going to die. +The three greatest men who ever lived were Eleanor Roosevelt. % -So you're back... about time... +It is hard for me to find the right thing to say when I find myself in a room full of cockroaches. % -Someone is speaking well of you. +Just as Schopenhauer predicted, absolutely nothing is happening. % -Someone is speaking well of you. - -How unusual! +Often I think I am a special agent of Billy Graham. % -Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow. +Cannibalism is a small price to pay for popularity. % -Stay away from flying saucers today. +Reverend! % -Stay away from hurricanes for a while. +I salivate at the sight of mittens. % -Stay the curse. +My father was a good woman. % -That secret you've been guarding, isn't. +Guns don't kill people. Bullets do. % -The time is right to make new friends. +Occam was never the target of a conspiracy. % -The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes. - -- George Gobel +Being good at being stupid doesn't count. % -There is a 20% chance of tomorrow. +From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, we are all tools of the Conspiracy... % -There is a fly on your nose. +La-la la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la! % -There was a phone call for you. +Um. No. It's not mayonnaise. % -There will be big changes for you but you will be happy. +Ooooooeee! They sure serve up them four-year-olds good, don't they? % -Things will be bright in P.M. A cop will shine a light in your face. +DON'T call me dude, dude. % -Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click". +Bugger off. % -This life is yours. Some of it was given to you; the rest, you made yourself. +I am GOD here! % -This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it. +D'oh! % -Time to be aggressive. Go after a tattooed Virgo. +I like you, Sali. That's why I'm going to kill you last. % -Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day. +Make your own mistakes, not somebody else's. % -Today is the first day of the rest of the mess. +Overall, there was a smell of fried onions. % -Today is the first day of the rest of your life. +Some girls are bigger than others. % -Today is the last day of your life so far. +I hate prejudiced people. % -Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. +Bite me, it's fun. % -Today is what happened to yesterday. +You know what, Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park. % -Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why. - -- Hunter S. Thompson +I am Zorkon, this is my brother Zenon, and this is my other brother Zenon. % -Tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest. +Ban Censorship! % -Tomorrow, this will be part of the unchangeable past but fortunately, -it can still be changed today. +It's called EVIL, kid. % -Tomorrow, you can be anywhere. +I'm not as think as you stoned I am. % -Tonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don't forget to leave a tip. +Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun. % -Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree. +I don't have a drinking problem... I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem. % -Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live -in eucalyptus trees. +To err is human; to forgive is not company policy. % -Truth will out this morning. (Which may really mess things up.) +Censorship? We don't have any censorship here. If we did, I couldn't say ---- or ------ ------! % -Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today. +Yield to oncoming traffic. +% +If you feel like you've got to lead, at least get out of my way. +% +Your mother wears combat boots. But I like combat boots. +% +I started to correct my mistakes, but realized what I was doing in time. +% +Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. +% +Do not remove tag under penalty of law. +% +The problem with troubleshooting is that real trouble shoots back. +% +Quantum Express: When you absolutely, positively, don't know where it's going or when it needs to be there. +% +If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning. +% +Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down. +% +Welcome to Borger King. Your way will be assimilated. +% +That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast. +% +FIVE TONS OF FLAX! +% +When in doubt, fuck it. When not in doubt... get in doubt! +% +First I must sprinkle you with fairy dust... +% +We're not doing scientific research, we're killing people. +% +Nil illegitimo carborundum. +% +I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as long as a week sometimes to make it up. +% +Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose. +% +Fnord. +Fnord? +Fnord! +% +It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. +% +I may have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them. +% +It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs. +% +For further information, consult your pineal gland. +% +Lions: 5, Christians: 0. +% +Today is an excellent day to become a missing person. +% +Heute die Welt, Morgens das Sonnensystem! +% +I hear music! +% +I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous. +% +Dating processes are dependent on the analysis of rocks. +% +Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat. +% +Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense. +% +Semper Non Sequitur! +% +This statement is false. +% +Sinister Dexter has a broken spirometer. +% +Mankind has been on a bad trip for a long time now. +% +Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life. +% +Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful. +% +Convictions cause convicts. +% +Everything is true -- everything is permissible! +% +Nothing is true. Everything is permitted. +% +Believe nothing, dare all. +% +Sometimes I become spell-bound in the middle of Wal-Mart. +% +My inner child can beat up your inner child. +% +Hellllllooooooooo, Nurse! +% +On Earth there is no reckoning. +% +Study demonology with an enemy this Sunday. +% +Ewige Blumenkraft! +% +Fliegende Kinderscheisse! +% +If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost. +% +Yo! Ewige Blumenkraft, Dude! +% +G'day! Ewige Blumenkraft, Mate! +% +If vegetarians eat vegetables, I guess that makes me a humanitarian. +% +No matter how good it is, there's always better. +% +No matter how bad it is, there's always worse. +% +Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you. +Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable. +% +_The Big U_ and _Snow Crash_ both center around cerebral bicamerality... but is that because Neal Stephenson has a Jaynes addiction? +% +It is better to have loved and lost than to have just lost. +% +Strike any user to continue. +% +Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. % -Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance. +CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh.. % -Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances. +LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands. % -Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. - -- Ashleigh Brilliant +Earn cash in your spare time, blackmail your friends. % -Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you. +reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)? % -Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week. +Question reality. % -Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life. +The Jetdillo Project: 2000 pounds of steel, 20,000 pounds of thrust. One pair of very dark shades. The world's first fully cybernetic, SSTO-capable armadillo. Coming soon from Armadillo Labs. The Dasypian Future begins tommorrow... % -What happened last night can happen again. +Weather's here, wish you were beautiful. % -While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and -are making another attack. +A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction. % -Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply. +Vegetables are murder. % -You are a bundle of energy, always on the go. +I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me. % -You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here. +A conservative is a liberal who has been mugged. % -You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are. +A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested. % -You are always busy. +Do you ever get feelings of Deja Vu? % -You are as I am with You. +Do you ever get feelings of Deja Vu? % -You are capable of planning your future. +Der Gedanke an den Selbstmord ist ein starkes Trostmittel. % -You are confused; but this is your normal state. +It's not that they die, but that they die like sheep. % -You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances. +The first step to a person's heart is to confuse the fuck out of 'em. % -You are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the -department of transportation. +"Here's what I know," said the physicist. "If we lived in a microscopic world, trucks would crash into walls, fly apart and then reassemble perfectly on the other side of the wall. This has been proven." % -You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend. +A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. % -You are fairminded, just and loving. +Do what keepeth thou from wilting shall be the law of the Hole. % -You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend. +Sarcasm is a sign of genius. % -You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way. +Ack!! % -You are going to have a new love affair. +A small mind is a tidy mind. % -You are magnetic in your bearing. +Don't force it, use a bigger hammer. % -You are not dead yet. But watch for further reports. +Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. % -You are number 6! Who is number one? +The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement. % -You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. +Due to circumstances within our control, tomorrow will be cancelled. % -You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward. Therefore you -have few friends. +Say what you mean and say it mean... % -You are sick, twisted and perverted. I like that in a person. +The only good Smurf is a dead Smurf. % -You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep. +You live and learn. Or you don't live long. % -You are standing on my toes. +Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face. % -You are taking yourself far too seriously. +We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history. % -You are the only person to ever get this message. +We don't hate vegetarians, we just think they're funny. % -You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading -this sort of trash. +If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first. % -You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity. +A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong. % -You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive. +If you only want to go 500 miles, can you begin with a halfstep? % -You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with dirt -is concerned. +Don't believe in the Uzi, it just went off in my hand. % -You can rent this space for only $5 a week. +Roses are red, she said, and violents are blue % -You could live a better life, if you had a better mind and a better body. +Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. % -You definitely intend to start living sometime soon. +If opportunity knocks, go to bed with your pants on. % -You dialed 5483. +Dare to be stupid. % -You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy. +I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle. % -You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one. +Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space. % -You enjoy the company of other people. +He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes. % -You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to. +Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity. % -You fill a much-needed gap. +If you do that you have a chance of dying % -You get along very well with everyone except animals and people. +Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder % -You had some happiness once, but your parents moved away, and you had to -leave it behind. +Never give an inch! +% +People will buy anything that's one to a customer. +% +Some men are discovered; others are found out. +% +He who hates vices hates mankind. +% +Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your half-breed interference. +% +They just buzzed and buzzed.....buzzed. +% +If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success. +% +Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads +% +Death is an illusion. Life is a hallucination. Taxes are objective reality. +% +The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf. +% +Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again. +% +Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. +% +For him to get a clue would require heroic implant surgery. +% +Of course it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake? +% +You can't be late until you show up. +% +Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking. % -You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music. +Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought. % -You have a deep interest in all that is artistic. +Colorless green ideas sleep furiously. % -You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy. -A pity that it's totally undeserved. +There is no heavier burden than a great potential. % -You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex. +Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today. +% +There ain't no justice +% +Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. +% +I wish you humans would leave me alone. % -You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex. +The door is the key. % -You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first. +Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing. % -You have a truly strong individuality. +Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth. +% +All in all it's just another brick in the wall... +% +In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. +% +Change your thoughts and you change your world. % -You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact. +Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite. % -You have an ability to sense and know higher truth. +Real punk rockers don't smile. % -You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself. +Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. % -You have an unusual equipment for success. Be sure to use it properly. +Question Authority -- and the authorities will question you. % -You have an unusual magnetic personality. Don't walk too close to -metal objects which are not fastened down. +A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. % -You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships. +Maximum capacity eight persons. % You have been selected for a secret mission. % -You have Egyptian flu: you're going to be a mummy. +You took my breath away and now I want it back. +% +Always store beer in a dark place. +% +Why is the cheese moving? +% +Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutant... +% +My, don't we all look _smashing_ in red. +% +There is no time like the pleasant. +% +And I alone am returned to wag the tail. +% +Above all things, revere yourself. +% +Please go away. +% +Dead puppies aren't much fun. +% +That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all. +% +Actors will happen in the best-regulated families. +% +'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. +% +Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent. +% +Excuse me, what did you say? Oh, I thought you said "Whop". +% +The hipbone's connected to the... jawbone? +% +He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last. +% +Let's all get together and throw flingbobs +% +Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them. +% +Small change can often be found under seat cushions. +% +Ad astra per aspera. +% +Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate. +% +Megaton Man on patrol! +% +A motion to adjourn is always in order. +% +What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art. +% +I came, I saw, she conquered. +% +If Goddess had intended humans to smoke, She would have set them on fire. +% +You're a jerk, Dent. A complete kneebiter. +% +A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds. +% +Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion. +% +Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. +% +Profanity: the single language in which all programmers are expert. +% +Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. +% +Express yourself through supreme bovinity. +% +Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home! +% +I think we're all Bozos on this bus. +% +Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either. +% +Crazee Eddeee, his prices are INSANE!!! +% +If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower. +% +Use only as directed. +% +See side panel for exciting recipe ideas. % -You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business. +Use no hooks. % -You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop. +This side up. % -You have many friends and very few living enemies. +I haven't lost my mind; it's back up on tape somewhere. % -You have no real enemies. +Frumble! Frumble! Istharcity! % -You have taken yourself too seriously. +Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac. % -You have the body of a 19 year old. Please return it before it gets wrinkled. +Love is a many-splintered thing % -You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today. +Oh, squirt. % -You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact. +Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner... % -You learn to write as if to someone else because NEXT YEAR YOU WILL BE -"SOMEONE ELSE." +Everything you know is wrong! % -You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances. +Be excellent to each other % -You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled. +Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him. % -You look tired. +Bored people are boring people. % -You love peace. +Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen. % -You love your home and want it to be beautiful. +Uh, Josh, you have to do a QC before you say "go away" for it to be a banishing. % -You may be gone tomorrow, but that doesn't mean that you weren't here today. +Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion. % -You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely -larger than others. +I will never lie to you. % -You may be recognized soon. Hide. +What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, and Understanding? % -You may get an opportunity for advancement today. Watch it! +It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. % -You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will -be sold. +And the first one said to the second one there, "I hope you're having fun." % -You need more time; and you probably always will. +Second star on the right, and onward 'till dawn % -You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead. +The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. % -You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems. +We're gonna go to the mall and window shoplift... % -You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach. +Today is a good day to bribe a high ranking public official. +% +It's all in the mind, ya know. +% +Mmm. I forgot about that. +% +A good memory does not equal pale ink. +% +Fine, DON'T have a nice day, see if I care. +% +All you can eat, shrimp +% +I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. +% +Wow, man... like, totally Hidden Valley Ranch, dude. +% +A king's castle is his home. +% +Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you. +% +The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not get caught. +% +The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions. +% +Sure I believe in peace. Peace through superior firepower. +% +Dont'cha hate it when that happens? % You now have Asian Flu. % -You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat. +Antibiotics, she said. +% +Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level. % -You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution. +Rub her feet. % -You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained. +But I don't like Spam!!! % -You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own. +Mow Mow Boppa Mow Mow Mow % -You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite. +The plural of spouse is spice. % -You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider. +"I guess the joke's on me," she said % -You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed. +I prefer to think of them as the Ten Suggestions. % -You should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially -if they are dead. +I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. % -You should go home. +Don't panic. % -You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess. +Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive. % -You teach best what you most need to learn. +I believe that everyone is entitled to my opinion. % -You too can wear a nose mitten. +A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. % -You two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years. +All men are created unequal. % -You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like. +Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose. % -You will always have good luck in your personal affairs. +Rose tint my world and keep me safe from the trouble and pain... % -You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home. +Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you. % -You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old. +Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once. % -You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part. +It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree. % -You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant. +Confidence: a feeling peculiar to the stage just before full comprehension of the problem. % -You will be attacked by a beast who has the body of a wolf, the tail of -a lion, and the face of Donald Duck. +And so it begins that some things last forever... % -You will be audited by the Internal Revenue Service. +Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal. % -You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone. +There are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true. % -You will be awarded some great honor. +Give your child mental blocks for Christmas. % -You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously. +No girdle ever cured a pregnancy. % -You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble. +How untasteful can you get? % -You will be divorced within a year. +I'm sorry, did I assassinate your penguin? % -You will be given a post of trust and responsibility. +Dying is easy. Comedy is hard. % -You will be held hostage by a radical group. +That's what she said. % -You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause. +Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud. % -You will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery. +All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time. % -You will be married within a year, and divorced within two. +To criticize the incompetent is easy; to criticize the competent is difficult. % -You will be married within a year. +As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? % -You will be misunderstood by everyone. +No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail. % -You will be recognized and honored as a community leader. +I like winter. I like the cold. I like the sound of flowers dying. % -You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier. +In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it. % -You will be run over by a beer truck. +Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. % -You will be run over by a bus. +Those students who have become one with the universe will be allowed to go on and become two with the universe. % -You will be singled out for promotion in your work. +The universe is laughing behind your back. % -You will be successful in love. +Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. % -You will be surprised by a loud noise. +Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! % -You will be surrounded by luxury. +Every absurdity has a champion to defend it. % -You will be the last person to buy a Chrysler. +A man who turns green has eschewed protein. % -You will be the victim of a bizarre joke. +One man's theology is another man's belly laugh. % -You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself. +It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead. % -You will be traveling and coming into a fortune. +We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure. % -You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery. +Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. % -You will become rich and famous unless you don't. +Eek! % -You will contract a rare disease. +Was uns nicht umbringt macht mir bis 1500 naechsten nachmittag schlafen. % -You will engage in a profitable business activity. +All that glitters has a high refractive index. % -You will experience a strong urge to do good; but it will pass. +Moderation is for monks. % -You will feel hungry again in another hour. +The meek will inherit the earth; the rest of us will go to the stars. % -You will forget that you ever knew me. +Anybody who cannot comprehend mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wash, cook food, and not make messes on the floor. % -You will gain money by a fattening action. +The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man confines himself within ancient limits. % -You will gain money by a speculation or lottery. +Wonders never cease, as long as you never cease to wonder. % -You will gain money by an illegal action. +Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down. % -You will gain money by an immoral action. +Art is dangerous % -You will get what you deserve. +The important thing is not to stop questioning. % -You will give someone a piece of your mind, which you can ill afford. +What happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes. % -You will have a long and boring life. +Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse. % -You will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your supervisor. +We come in peace... shoot to kill... % -You will have domestic happiness and faithful friends. +I've seen the future and I leave it all behind % -You will have good luck and overcome many hardships. +The early worm gets the bird. % -You will have long and healthy life. +Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me? % -You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you. +It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. % -You will inherit millions of dollars. +Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it! % -You will inherit some money or a small piece of land. +An idle mind is worth two in the bush. % -You will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money. +Men still remember the first kiss after women have forgotten the last. % -You will live to see your grandchildren. +Your ignorance cramps my conversation. % -You will lose your present job and have to become a door to door mayonnaise -salesman. +Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. % -You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally. +Everybody ought to have a friend. % -You will never know hunger. +If you hit a man over the head with a fish, he'll have a headache for a day. But if you teach a man to hit himself over the head with a fish, he'll have headaches for the rest of his life. % -You will not be elected to public office this year. +Ignorance can be cured -- but stupid is forever. % -You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears. +The future ain't what it used to be. % -You will outgrow your usefulness. +Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. % -You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates. +Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. % -You will pass away very quickly. +The following statement is not true: % -You will pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please disregard -this message. +Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. % -You will pioneer the first Martian colony. +Flee at once, all is discovered. % -You will probably marry after a very brief courtship. +Continental Life. Why do you ask? % -You will reach the highest possible point in your business or profession. +Early to bed and early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes. % -You will receive a legacy which will place you above want. +We all know that no one understands anything that isn't funny. % -You will remember something that you should not have forgotten. +No matter where you go... there you are. % -You will soon forget this. +Honi soit la vache qui rit. % -You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life. +He who laughs, lasts. % -You will step on the night soil of many countries. +A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn. % -You will stop at nothing to reach your objective, but only because your -brakes are defective. +Money is truthful. When a man speaks of honor, make him pay cash. % -You will triumph over your enemy. +I know your secret. % -You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon. +Cut the conversation, just open your mouth % -You will win success in whatever calling you adopt. +How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent. % -You will wish you hadn't. +Do not underestimate the power of the Force. % -You work very hard. Don't try to think as well. +Chill out... everything's under control... % -You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry. +Rainy days and Mondays always get me down. % -You would if you could but you can't so you won't. +Brain fried -- Core dumped % -You'd like to do it instantaneously, but that's too slow. +Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie. % -You'll be called to a post requiring ability in handling groups of people. +Eggs on top, canned goods on the bottom... % -You'll be sorry... +Everybody is equal here. It's just some people are more equal than others. % -You'll feel devilish tonight. Toss dynamite caps under a flamenco dancer's -heel. +The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous. % -You'll feel much better once you've given up hope. +You can never trust a woman; she may be true to you. % -You'll never be the man your mother was! +Quack! % -You'll never see all the places, or read all the books, but fortunately, -they're not all recommended. +Blessed are they that run around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels. % -You'll wish that you had done some of the hard things when they were easier -to do. +Thaaaaaat's niiiiiice. % -You're a card which will have to be dealt with. +A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. % -You're almost as happy as you think you are. +Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not. % -You're at the end of the road again. +I'm not sure of what I should do -- when every thought I'm thinking of is you % -You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days. +The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. % -You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life." +What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it. % -You're definitely on their list. The question to ask next is what list it is. +Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. % -You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that -you're growing into. +It's later than you think. % -You're not my type. For that matter, you're not even my species!!! +If it's comprehensible, it's obsolete. % -You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. +Darwin's Law of Carcinogens: Cancer cures smoking. % -You're working under a slight handicap. You happen to be human. +It's an IBM, it's got an excuse. % -You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture. +A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. % -Your aim is high and to the right. +Well, it looks like blind, screaming hedonism won out. % -Your aims are high, and you are capable of much. +The world is coming to an end. Please log off. % -Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient. Don't believe a -thing he tells you. +Flixtipix make flossing the cat fun! % -Your best consolation is the hope that the things you failed to get weren't -really worth having. +People humiliating a salami! % -Your boss climbed the corporate ladder, wrong by wrong. +You're not really drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on. % -Your boss is a few sandwiches short of a picnic. +Drive defensively; buy a tank. % -Your boyfriend takes chocolate from strangers. +The best teddy bears are the live kind. % -Your business will assume vast proportions. +Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop mudding and fall in love! % -Your business will go through a period of considerable expansion. +Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword. % -Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways. +Spacetime isn't curved, it's positively bent. % -Your domestic life may be harmonious. +Never try to outstubborn a cat. % -Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now). +As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote. % -Your goose is cooked. -(Your current chick is burned up too!) +Everybody ought to have a maid. % -Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout. +Life is a game of bridge -- and you've just been finessed. % -Your ignorance cramps my conversation. +I admit that I am powerless over fish innards. % -Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret. +Grumplicious Grumplicious Grumplicious!!! % -Your love life will be happy and harmonious. +Attention all planets of the Solar Federation: We have assumed control. % -Your love life will be... interesting. +We don't morally censure you. We just want the money. % -Your lover will never wish to leave you. +Don't have a cow, man. % -Your lucky color has faded. +SLACK: Get it while you can. % -Your lucky number has been disconnected. +My oh my! Life sure is easier with my new Salad Shooter (R) ! % -Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere. +I love the absolution of all jocks and preps -- Skate or die!!! % -Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon. +I'm the one from the registry office. % -Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments. +Ah-ah, Mr. Wiiilson. Ah-ah, Mr. Heath. % -Your motives for doing whatever good deed you may have in mind will be -misinterpreted by somebody. +Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hast... urrrrrrrk! % -Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it. +Mars needs women. % -Your object is to save the world, while still leading a pleasant life. +Ivana used to be Donald's trompe l'oeil. % -Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world. +I'll be back. % -Your present plans will be successful. +Specialization is for insects. % -Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong. +And the less I seek my source for some definitive, closer I am to fine... % -Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner. +Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors -- and miss. % -Your sister swims out to meet troop ships. +Never appeal to a man's "better nature". He may not have one. % -Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinement. +He's a trash-culture king on a four-color throne % -Your step will soil many countries. +There's someone in my head, but it's not me % -Your supervisor is thinking about you. +This is my steakhouse. % -Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded. +Watch me as I swing my hips... around. % -Your temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved in a surprising manner. +Tony Orlando and DAWN! % -Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with. +We asked for Mojo Nixon, they said "He don't work here" +% +Don't believe them, don't believe them, question everything you're told +% +My friend Goo has a real time too; she always knows just what to do +% +Gridlock to the max, Jack +% +The classical Greeks were not influenced by the classical Greeks. +% +So... so you think you can tell... heaven from hell +% +No you don't understand, see you don't understand... +% +He sells contact lenses for a cubist world +% +We're just two lost souls swimmin' in a fishbowl, year after year +% +Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same... +% +What poor gods we do make. +% +Pig's in zen... +% +There were Arabs with knives at the foot of the bed. +% +I live like this 'cuz I like it; I've seen too much to pretend +% +I know the road, I know where it goes; that's why I'm going so slow... +% +I just walk right through the door... +% +The backbone of this country is the independent trucks. +% +Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right, they just seem a little weird +% +What a useless scroll, all it says is "Hastur Hastur Hastur" over and over again. +% +My moral standing is lying down. +% +I don't want anybody else; when I think about you I touch myself +% +I hate myself to sleep at night +% +But she looked good in ribbons... +% +Don't open your eyes, you won't like what you see; the devils of truth steal the souls of the free... don't open your eyes, take it from me -- I have found you can find happiness in slavery... +% +Don't eat yellow snow. +% +I wanna reach up and touch the sky; I wanna touch the sun but I don't wanna fry +% +Man steps in with a terminal grin... blue skies turn to grey... +% +Here he comes -- here comes Speed Racer -- he's a demon on wheels +% +Go Speed Racer Go Speed Racer Go Speed Racer Go +% +He's a tragic figure in a paisley shirt +% +You've caught an even atom tan +% +Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. +% +Quite content to sit on this fence... quite content, now a little bit older... +% +I... have become... comfortably numb +% +Happiness is mandatory. Are you happy? +% +The reason people get lost in thought is because it is, to many, rather unfamiliar territory. +% +Better to have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special. +% +I am feeling so grey today... +% +If you're so special, why aren't you dead? +% +Don't knock masturbation; isn't sex with someone you love the best kind? +% +Take care of the cojones and the frijoles will take care of themselves. +% +Look out, you're gonna craaash. +% +You're about as subtle as a tank. +% +I'm looking for a cynical girl +% +Congregation, please be seated +% +The wind is loud and sometimes pungent. +% +The wind is plowed and sometimes sturgeon. +% +Vacuum packed for freshness. +% +Drive carefully. 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents. +% +Oh, no, not again. +% +Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear. +% +Never eat more than you can lift. +% +Fait accompli... +% +People are blinky +% +Did you know that if you were a kangaroo, you couldn't be a mailman? +% +Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING. +% +You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed! +% +This town needs an enema. +% +Girls will be boys and boys will be girls +% +Chaste makes waste. +% +Virginity can be cured. +% +He can't be a man cause he does not smoke the same cigarettes as me +% +Wake up, the whole world's gone... +% +Deity... he's come for me +% +My favorite weapon is the look in your eyes +% +Delicious and nutritious, tastes like chicken! +% +And where you are ain't no good unless you can get away from it +% +If she doesn't scare ya, no evil thing will... +% +I... I believe in love +% +A thousand lips, a thousand tongues, a thousand throats, a thousand lungs... a thousand ways to make it true, I want to do terrible things to you +% +Therefore, knowing that you are merely human, do not assign yourself merit. +% +I've come a long way since I've believed in anything +% +Ding a ding-dang my dang-a-long ling-long +% +Stop! I'm a girl whose fingernails are made of a mother's pearl... +% +It would seem that no matter how you slice it, it still comes up Velveeta. +% +Don't give up, push a pawn +% +No man is an island, but then no man is a potato salad, either. +% +What's blue and square? An orange in disguise... +% +Get a hat! Get a hairy hat! +% +Oh for the wings of any bird, other than a battery hen... +% +Kryten, unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit! +% +Cyberspace is where you are when you're on the telephone. +% +How do you make a cat go moo? Ask it "Does a dog have the Buddha-nature?" +% +"Grey! Did I hear you say grey?" "Light black. From pole to pole." +% +"How do you get all those coins?" "IN PAIRS." +% +Truly, the road to enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass. +% +When you're a god, you don't have to have reasons. +% +I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs -- like customs officials. +% +... is exhibited in the radical endosemic character of the sign as such. +% +If you are sitting, just sit. If you are walking, just walk. Above all, don't wobble. +% +Reality is the temporary resultant of the struggle between rival gangs of programmers. +% +Walk in shadow, walk in dread, Loosefish walk as like one dead +% +The more it stays the same, the less it changes. +% +If I was a woman I'd stay at home all day and play with my breasts. +% +Last time I was stoned, I tried to eat an airport. +% +You can't lick the system, but you can certainly give it a damn good fondling... +% +Nid yw Cymru ar werth! +% +"What did Medieval people do before television?" "Had tea, I suppose." +% +Of course you realize this means war. +% +Don't worry. Baldrick has a cunning plan. +% +Smile, and the whole world thinks you're laughing at them. +% +What do you get if you cross an elephant with a grape? |grape| * |elephant| * sin(theta). +% +On a scale of 1 to 4, what are your feelings about the colour green? +% +Bonzo the Demon Dog from Hell with Handlebars for Ears. +% +The universe is like a grapefruit -- it's yellow and dimply, and some people have half of one for breakfast. +% +Je suis un chou-fleur sous un echequier enorme. +% +To have too much and not enough is like a boat person with sideburns. +% +As long as the music's loud enough, we won't hear the world falling apart. +% +Live in privacy; die in public. % diff --git a/deps/fortune/fortunes.bak b/deps/fortune/fortunes.bak new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f5bb2b4 --- /dev/null +++ b/deps/fortune/fortunes.bak @@ -0,0 +1,916 @@ +A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it? +% +A few hours grace before the madness begins again. +% +A gift of a flower will soon be made to you. +% +A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. + +Buy the negatives at any price. +% +A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you. +% +A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work. +% +A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work. +% +A vivid and creative mind characterizes you. +% +Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy. +% +Accent on helpful side of your nature. Drain the moat. +% +Advancement in position. +% +After your lover has gone you will still have PEANUT BUTTER! +% +Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change. +% +Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth. +% +All the troubles you have will pass away very quickly. +% +Among the lucky, you are the chosen one. +% +An avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume. +% +An exotic journey in downtown Newark is in your future. +% +Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree. +% +Are you a turtle? +% +Are you ever going to do the dishes? Or will you change your major to biology? +% +Are you making all this up as you go along? +% +Are you sure the back door is locked? +% +Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum. +% +Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance. +% +Avoid gunfire in the bathroom tonight. +% +Avoid reality at all costs. +% +Bank error in your favor. Collect $200. +% +Be careful! Is it classified? +% +Be careful! UGLY strikes 9 out of 10! +% +Be cautious in your daily affairs. +% +Be cheerful while you are alive. + -- Phathotep, 24th Century B.C. +% +Be different: conform. +% +Be free and open and breezy! Enjoy! Things won't get any better so +get used to it. +% +Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake. +% +Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life. +% +Best of all is never to have been born. Second best is to die soon. +% +Better hope the life-inspector doesn't come around while you have your +life in such a mess. +% +Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie. +% +Beware of a tall black man with one blond shoe. +% +Beware of a tall blond man with one black shoe. +% +Beware of Bigfoot! +% +Beware of low-flying butterflies. +% +Beware the one behind you. +% +Blow it out your ear. +% +Break into jail and claim police brutality. +% +Bridge ahead. Pay troll. +% +Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health. +% +Caution: Keep out of reach of children. +% +Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch. +% +Change your thoughts and you change your world. +% +Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate. +% +Chess tonight. +% +Chicken Little only has to be right once. +% +Chicken Little was right. +% +Cold hands, no gloves. +% +Communicate! It can't make things any worse. +% +Courage is your greatest present need. +% +Day of inquiry. You will be subpoenaed. +% +Do not overtax your powers. +% +Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight. +% +Do nothing unless you must, and when you must act -- hesitate. +% +Do something unusual today. Pay a bill. +% +Do what comes naturally. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum. +% +Domestic happiness and faithful friends. +% +Don't feed the bats tonight. +% +Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out. +% +Don't get to bragging. +% +Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while. +% +Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon. +% +Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today. +% +Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone. +% +Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you. +% +Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you. +% +Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder. +% +Don't plan any hasty moves. You'll be evicted soon anyway. +% +Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks. +% +Don't read everything you believe. +% +Don't relax! It's only your tension that's holding you together. +% +Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective. +% +Don't worry so loud, your roommate can't think. +% +Don't Worry, Be Happy. + -- Meher Baba +% +Don't worry. Life's too long. + -- Vincent Sardi, Jr. +% +Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in? +% +Don't you wish you had more energy... or less ambition? +% +Everything that you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out. +% +Everything will be just tickety-boo today. +% +Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator. +% +Excellent day to have a rotten day. +% +Excellent time to become a missing person. +% +Executive ability is prominent in your make-up. +% +Exercise caution in your daily affairs. +% +Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you. +% +Expect the worst, it's the least you can do. +% +Fine day for friends. +So-so day for you. +% +Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy. +% +Fortune: You will be attacked next Wednesday at 3:15 p.m. by six samurai +sword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles. + +Oh, and have a nice day! + -- Bryce Nesbitt '84 +% +Future looks spotty. You will spill soup in late evening. +% +Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals. +% +Give him an evasive answer. +% +Give thought to your reputation. Consider changing name and moving to +a new town. +% +Give your very best today. Heaven knows it's little enough. +% +Go to a movie tonight. Darkness becomes you. +% +Good day for a change of scene. Repaper the bedroom wall. +% +Good day for overcoming obstacles. Try a steeplechase. +% +Good day to deal with people in high places; particularly lonely stewardesses. +% +Good day to let down old friends who need help. +% +Good news from afar can bring you a welcome visitor. +% +Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day. +% +Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate's +new lover. +% +Green light in A.M. for new projects. Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets. +% +Hope that the day after you die is a nice day. +% +If you can read this, you're too close. +% +If you learn one useless thing every day, in a single year you'll learn +365 useless things. +% +If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure. +% +If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair. +% +If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow! +% +If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it. +% +In the stairway of life, you'd best take the elevator. +% +Increased knowledge will help you now. Have mate's phone bugged. +% +Is that really YOU that is reading this? +% +Is this really happening? +% +It is so very hard to be an +on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you +grown-up. +% +It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done. +% +It was all so different before everything changed. +% +It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead. + -- Churchy La Femme +% +It's all in the mind, ya know. +% +It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction. +% +Just because the message may never be received does not mean it is +not worth sending. +% +Just to have it is enough. +% +Keep emotionally active. Cater to your favorite neurosis. +% +Keep it short for pithy sake. +% +Lady Luck brings added income today. Lady friend takes it away tonight. +% +Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you. +% +Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience. +% +Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure. +% +"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it." + -- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" +% +Live in a world of your own, but always welcome visitors. +% +Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before. +% +Long life is in store for you. +% +Look afar and see the end from the beginning. +% +Love is in the offing. Be affectionate to one who adores you. +% +Make a wish, it might come true. +% +Many changes of mind and mood; do not hesitate too long. +% +Never be led astray onto the path of virtue. +% +Never commit yourself! Let someone else commit you. +% +Never give an inch! +% +Never look up when dragons fly overhead. +% +Never reveal your best argument. +% +Next Friday will not be your lucky day. As a matter of fact, you don't +have a lucky day this year. +% +Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose. +% +People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house. +% +Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things. +% +Questionable day. + +Ask somebody something. +% +Reply hazy, ask again later. +% +Save energy: be apathetic. +% +Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there. +% +Slow day. Practice crawling. +% +Snow Day -- stay home. +% +So this is it. We're going to die. +% +So you're back... about time... +% +Someone is speaking well of you. +% +Someone is speaking well of you. + +How unusual! +% +Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow. +% +Stay away from flying saucers today. +% +Stay away from hurricanes for a while. +% +Stay the curse. +% +That secret you've been guarding, isn't. +% +The time is right to make new friends. +% +The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes. + -- George Gobel +% +There is a 20% chance of tomorrow. +% +There is a fly on your nose. +% +There was a phone call for you. +% +There will be big changes for you but you will be happy. +% +Things will be bright in P.M. A cop will shine a light in your face. +% +Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click". +% +This life is yours. Some of it was given to you; the rest, you made yourself. +% +This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it. +% +Time to be aggressive. Go after a tattooed Virgo. +% +Today is National Existential Ennui Awareness Day. +% +Today is the first day of the rest of the mess. +% +Today is the first day of the rest of your life. +% +Today is the last day of your life so far. +% +Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. +% +Today is what happened to yesterday. +% +Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why. + -- Hunter S. Thompson +% +Tomorrow will be cancelled due to lack of interest. +% +Tomorrow, this will be part of the unchangeable past but fortunately, +it can still be changed today. +% +Tomorrow, you can be anywhere. +% +Tonight you will pay the wages of sin; Don't forget to leave a tip. +% +Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree. +% +Troubled day for virgins over 16 who are beautiful and wealthy and live +in eucalyptus trees. +% +Truth will out this morning. (Which may really mess things up.) +% +Try the Moo Shu Pork. It is especially good today. +% +Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance. +% +Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances. +% +Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. + -- Ashleigh Brilliant +% +Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you. +% +Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week. +% +Tuesday is the Wednesday of the rest of your life. +% +What happened last night can happen again. +% +While you recently had your problems on the run, they've regrouped and +are making another attack. +% +Write yourself a threatening letter and pen a defiant reply. +% +You are a bundle of energy, always on the go. +% +You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here. +% +You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are. +% +You are always busy. +% +You are as I am with You. +% +You are capable of planning your future. +% +You are confused; but this is your normal state. +% +You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances. +% +You are destined to become the commandant of the fighting men of the +department of transportation. +% +You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend. +% +You are fairminded, just and loving. +% +You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend. +% +You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way. +% +You are going to have a new love affair. +% +You are magnetic in your bearing. +% +You are not dead yet. But watch for further reports. +% +You are number 6! Who is number one? +% +You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. +% +You are scrupulously honest, frank, and straightforward. Therefore you +have few friends. +% +You are sick, twisted and perverted. I like that in a person. +% +You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep. +% +You are standing on my toes. +% +You are taking yourself far too seriously. +% +You are the only person to ever get this message. +% +You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading +this sort of trash. +% +You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity. +% +You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive. +% +You can do very well in speculation where land or anything to do with dirt +is concerned. +% +You can rent this space for only $5 a week. +% +You could live a better life, if you had a better mind and a better body. +% +You definitely intend to start living sometime soon. +% +You dialed 5483. +% +You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy. +% +You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one. +% +You enjoy the company of other people. +% +You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to. +% +You fill a much-needed gap. +% +You get along very well with everyone except animals and people. +% +You had some happiness once, but your parents moved away, and you had to +leave it behind. +% +You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music. +% +You have a deep interest in all that is artistic. +% +You have a reputation for being thoroughly reliable and trustworthy. +A pity that it's totally undeserved. +% +You have a strong appeal for members of the opposite sex. +% +You have a strong appeal for members of your own sex. +% +You have a strong desire for a home and your family interests come first. +% +You have a truly strong individuality. +% +You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact. +% +You have an ability to sense and know higher truth. +% +You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself. +% +You have an unusual equipment for success. Be sure to use it properly. +% +You have an unusual magnetic personality. Don't walk too close to +metal objects which are not fastened down. +% +You have an unusual understanding of the problems of human relationships. +% +You have been selected for a secret mission. +% +You have Egyptian flu: you're going to be a mummy. +% +You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business. +% +You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop. +% +You have many friends and very few living enemies. +% +You have no real enemies. +% +You have taken yourself too seriously. +% +You have the body of a 19 year old. Please return it before it gets wrinkled. +% +You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today. +% +You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact. +% +You learn to write as if to someone else because NEXT YEAR YOU WILL BE +"SOMEONE ELSE." +% +You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances. +% +You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled. +% +You look tired. +% +You love peace. +% +You love your home and want it to be beautiful. +% +You may be gone tomorrow, but that doesn't mean that you weren't here today. +% +You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely +larger than others. +% +You may be recognized soon. Hide. +% +You may get an opportunity for advancement today. Watch it! +% +You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will +be sold. +% +You need more time; and you probably always will. +% +You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead. +% +You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems. +% +You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach. +% +You now have Asian Flu. +% +You own a dog, but you can only feed a cat. +% +You plan things that you do not even attempt because of your extreme caution. +% +You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained. +% +You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own. +% +You recoil from the crude; you tend naturally toward the exquisite. +% +You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider. +% +You shall be rewarded for a dastardly deed. +% +You should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially +if they are dead. +% +You should go home. +% +You single-handedly fought your way into this hopeless mess. +% +You teach best what you most need to learn. +% +You too can wear a nose mitten. +% +You two ought to be more careful--your love could drag on for years and years. +% +You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like. +% +You will always have good luck in your personal affairs. +% +You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home. +% +You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old. +% +You will be advanced socially, without any special effort on your part. +% +You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant. +% +You will be attacked by a beast who has the body of a wolf, the tail of +a lion, and the face of Donald Duck. +% +You will be audited by the Internal Revenue Service. +% +You will be awarded a medal for disregarding safety in saving someone. +% +You will be awarded some great honor. +% +You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously. +% +You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble. +% +You will be divorced within a year. +% +You will be given a post of trust and responsibility. +% +You will be held hostage by a radical group. +% +You will be honored for contributing your time and skill to a worthy cause. +% +You will be imprisoned for contributing your time and skill to a bank robbery. +% +You will be married within a year, and divorced within two. +% +You will be married within a year. +% +You will be misunderstood by everyone. +% +You will be recognized and honored as a community leader. +% +You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier. +% +You will be run over by a beer truck. +% +You will be run over by a bus. +% +You will be singled out for promotion in your work. +% +You will be successful in love. +% +You will be surprised by a loud noise. +% +You will be surrounded by luxury. +% +You will be the last person to buy a Chrysler. +% +You will be the victim of a bizarre joke. +% +You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself. +% +You will be traveling and coming into a fortune. +% +You will be winged by an anti-aircraft battery. +% +You will become rich and famous unless you don't. +% +You will contract a rare disease. +% +You will engage in a profitable business activity. +% +You will experience a strong urge to do good; but it will pass. +% +You will feel hungry again in another hour. +% +You will forget that you ever knew me. +% +You will gain money by a fattening action. +% +You will gain money by a speculation or lottery. +% +You will gain money by an illegal action. +% +You will gain money by an immoral action. +% +You will get what you deserve. +% +You will give someone a piece of your mind, which you can ill afford. +% +You will have a long and boring life. +% +You will have a long and unpleasant discussion with your supervisor. +% +You will have domestic happiness and faithful friends. +% +You will have good luck and overcome many hardships. +% +You will have long and healthy life. +% +You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you. +% +You will inherit millions of dollars. +% +You will inherit some money or a small piece of land. +% +You will live a long, healthy, happy life and make bags of money. +% +You will live to see your grandchildren. +% +You will lose your present job and have to become a door to door mayonnaise +salesman. +% +You will meet an important person who will help you advance professionally. +% +You will never know hunger. +% +You will not be elected to public office this year. +% +You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears. +% +You will outgrow your usefulness. +% +You will overcome the attacks of jealous associates. +% +You will pass away very quickly. +% +You will pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please disregard +this message. +% +You will pioneer the first Martian colony. +% +You will probably marry after a very brief courtship. +% +You will reach the highest possible point in your business or profession. +% +You will receive a legacy which will place you above want. +% +You will remember something that you should not have forgotten. +% +You will soon forget this. +% +You will soon meet a person who will play an important role in your life. +% +You will step on the night soil of many countries. +% +You will stop at nothing to reach your objective, but only because your +brakes are defective. +% +You will triumph over your enemy. +% +You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon. +% +You will win success in whatever calling you adopt. +% +You will wish you hadn't. +% +You work very hard. Don't try to think as well. +% +You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry. +% +You would if you could but you can't so you won't. +% +You'd like to do it instantaneously, but that's too slow. +% +You'll be called to a post requiring ability in handling groups of people. +% +You'll be sorry... +% +You'll feel devilish tonight. Toss dynamite caps under a flamenco dancer's +heel. +% +You'll feel much better once you've given up hope. +% +You'll never be the man your mother was! +% +You'll never see all the places, or read all the books, but fortunately, +they're not all recommended. +% +You'll wish that you had done some of the hard things when they were easier +to do. +% +You're a card which will have to be dealt with. +% +You're almost as happy as you think you are. +% +You're at the end of the road again. +% +You're being followed. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days. +% +You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life." +% +You're definitely on their list. The question to ask next is what list it is. +% +You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that +you're growing into. +% +You're not my type. For that matter, you're not even my species!!! +% +You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny. +% +You're working under a slight handicap. You happen to be human. +% +You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture. +% +Your aim is high and to the right. +% +Your aims are high, and you are capable of much. +% +Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient. Don't believe a +thing he tells you. +% +Your best consolation is the hope that the things you failed to get weren't +really worth having. +% +Your boss climbed the corporate ladder, wrong by wrong. +% +Your boss is a few sandwiches short of a picnic. +% +Your boyfriend takes chocolate from strangers. +% +Your business will assume vast proportions. +% +Your business will go through a period of considerable expansion. +% +Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways. +% +Your domestic life may be harmonious. +% +Your fly might be open (but don't check it just now). +% +Your goose is cooked. +(Your current chick is burned up too!) +% +Your heart is pure, and your mind clear, and your soul devout. +% +Your ignorance cramps my conversation. +% +Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret. +% +Your love life will be happy and harmonious. +% +Your love life will be... interesting. +% +Your lover will never wish to leave you. +% +Your lucky color has faded. +% +Your lucky number has been disconnected. +% +Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere. +% +Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon. +% +Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of new developments. +% +Your motives for doing whatever good deed you may have in mind will be +misinterpreted by somebody. +% +Your nature demands love and your happiness depends on it. +% +Your object is to save the world, while still leading a pleasant life. +% +Your own qualities will help prevent your advancement in the world. +% +Your present plans will be successful. +% +Your reasoning is excellent -- it's only your basic assumptions that are wrong. +% +Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner. +% +Your sister swims out to meet troop ships. +% +Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinement. +% +Your step will soil many countries. +% +Your supervisor is thinking about you. +% +Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded. +% +Your temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved in a surprising manner. +% +Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with. +% diff --git a/deps/run b/deps/run new file mode 100755 index 0000000..9a61141 --- /dev/null +++ b/deps/run @@ -0,0 +1,5 @@ +#!/bin/sh + +redis-server /redis.conf + +/lorebot $@ diff --git a/go.mod b/go.mod index 2d76384..81557c1 100644 --- a/go.mod +++ b/go.mod @@ -5,6 +5,7 @@ go 1.17 require ( github.com/bwmarrin/discordgo v0.24.0 // indirect github.com/gorilla/websocket v1.4.2 // indirect + github.com/ryanuber/columnize v2.1.2+incompatible // indirect github.com/unixvoid/glogger v0.0.0-20160808141529-efa058094480 // indirect golang.org/x/crypto v0.0.0-20210421170649-83a5a9bb288b // indirect golang.org/x/sys v0.0.0-20201119102817-f84b799fce68 // indirect diff --git a/go.sum b/go.sum index ced425c..8ebda61 100644 --- a/go.sum +++ b/go.sum @@ -2,6 +2,8 @@ github.com/bwmarrin/discordgo v0.24.0 h1:Gw4MYxqHdvhO99A3nXnSLy97z5pmIKHZVJ1JY5Z github.com/bwmarrin/discordgo v0.24.0/go.mod h1:NJZpH+1AfhIcyQsPeuBKsUtYrRnjkyu0kIVMCHkZtRY= github.com/gorilla/websocket v1.4.2 h1:+/TMaTYc4QFitKJxsQ7Yye35DkWvkdLcvGKqM+x0Ufc= github.com/gorilla/websocket v1.4.2/go.mod h1:YR8l580nyteQvAITg2hZ9XVh4b55+EU/adAjf1fMHhE= +github.com/ryanuber/columnize v2.1.2+incompatible h1:C89EOx/XBWwIXl8wm8OPJBd7kPF25UfsK2X7Ph/zCAk= +github.com/ryanuber/columnize v2.1.2+incompatible/go.mod h1:sm1tb6uqfes/u+d4ooFouqFdy9/2g9QGwK3SQygK0Ts= github.com/unixvoid/glogger v0.0.0-20160808141529-efa058094480 h1:v5/8W8Oi7f4DcOSsiJoLGT82Bc5nWFk4YJmu60QDNJw= github.com/unixvoid/glogger v0.0.0-20160808141529-efa058094480/go.mod h1:K6t28t5XA5wg9q+wm1+Epl41QOvjLnRnavvNUdQ7FmU= golang.org/x/crypto v0.0.0-20210421170649-83a5a9bb288b h1:7mWr3k41Qtv8XlltBkDkl8LoP3mpSgBW8BUoxtEdbXg= diff --git a/lorebot/lorebot.go b/lorebot/lorebot.go index 89276b8..1007be8 100644 --- a/lorebot/lorebot.go +++ b/lorebot/lorebot.go @@ -237,6 +237,7 @@ func helpMsg(s *discordgo.Session, m *discordgo.MessageCreate) { help1 := "I am the lore archival bot, I support the following commands:\n" + "```" + ".lore: view lore\n" + + ".loresearch: search lore content\n" + ".newlore: add new lore\n" + ".rmlore: remove lore\n" + ".lorelist: view lore database\n" + @@ -747,6 +748,9 @@ func dynamicCommandHandler(s *discordgo.Session, m *discordgo.MessageCreate) { attrHandler(s, m, "lore", content, "rmby", redisClient) case "removed": attrHandler(s, m, "lore", content, "rmdate", redisClient) + case "loresearch": + tmp := strings.SplitN(string(m.Content), " ", 2) + searchHandler(s, m, tmp[1], "lore", redisClient) } } @@ -765,6 +769,32 @@ func contentHandler(s *discordgo.Session, m *discordgo.MessageCreate, message, q } } +func searchHandler(s *discordgo.Session, m *discordgo.MessageCreate, searchTerm, searchType string, redisClient *redis.Client) { + keys, err := redisClient.SMembers(fmt.Sprintf("index:%s:added", searchType)).Result() + if err != nil { + s.ChannelMessageSend(m.ChannelID, "Error retrieving lore index") + return + } + + var matches []string + for _, key := range keys { + content, err := redisClient.HGet(fmt.Sprintf("%s:%s", searchType, key), "content").Result() + if err != nil { + continue + } + if strings.Contains(strings.ToLower(content), strings.ToLower(searchTerm)) { + matches = append(matches, key) + } + } + + if len(matches) > 0 { + response := "Found the following lore matching your request:\n" + strings.Join(matches, "\n") + s.ChannelMessageSend(m.ChannelID, response) + } else { + s.ChannelMessageSend(m.ChannelID, "No lore found") + } +} + func newHandler(s *discordgo.Session, m *discordgo.MessageCreate, message, newType string, redisClient *redis.Client) { // get nick from slack api nick := m.Author.Username