lorebot/deps/fortune/fortunes

150 years ago the entire worlds population did not exist. 150 years from now every living human will be dead.
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1984 - only 24 years late.
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--- 1st scanned image, in natural format.
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2012 GARAGE SALE
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2+2=5 for extremely large values of 2
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5-19-13. EXPECT US.
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5 billion religious people and they can't get a conclusive answer on life after death.
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6 out of every 10 people refuse to be a statistic.
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9/11 people refuse to be reduced to statistics
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Abandon all art NOW
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Abel had no descendants.
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a belief is just a thought you keep having
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A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers.
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Aborton kills, but so does McDonalds.
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Above all things, revere yourself.
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Abraham Lincoln shot first.
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a brain capable of memory develops behavior, the rest are just reacting.
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Absolutes are absolutely wrong
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absolute submission can be a form of freedom
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Abstinence is perverted
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Abstinence is retarded and dangerous.
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abstraction is a type of decadence
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Abstractions don't like it when you anthropomorphize them.
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Abuse of authority comes as no surprise.
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abuse of power comes as no surprise
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Accepting repression? Then accept depression.
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Accept it, push it to the back of your mind.
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A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
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Ack!!
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A Closed Mind Gathers No Heresies.
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A concept is the thing before you think. - Anonymouse
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A conclusion is simply where you stopped thinking
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A conservative is a liberal who has been mugged.
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Acting without thinking can be awfully entertaining.
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Action, Anxiety, or Apathy. Choose.
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action causes more trouble than thought
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Actions speak louder than words... but nothing speaks louder than they who take no action
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Actors will happen in the best-regulated families.
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Adapt or die!
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Ad astra per aspera.
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Adeptness is a Debt to Subject and Predicate
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A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
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adjust your tie.
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Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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Admire persistence, or they won't stop
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Advertising abhors a vacuum.
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A few thousand rads never hurt anybody.
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A fine will be charged for wounding the library books.
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A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
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A free world needs no leaders
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After all this time... don't wash my blood off of your hands!
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After all, we only go around once.  There's really no time to be afraid.
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After all, we only go around once. There's really no time to be afraid.
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after birth is before death
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Again? thats the third time this week!
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A good fight is like a stick of broccoli, but different.
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A good man has few enemies.  A ruthless man has none.
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A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none.
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A good memory does not equal pale ink.
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A good person should die weeping for how much more they could have done.
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Ah-ah, Mr. Wiiilson.  Ah-ah, Mr. Heath.
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A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.
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A king's castle is his home.
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A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
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A language is a dialect with an army
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Alarm clocks kill dreams.
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Albino african
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Alcohol kills. Take LSD.
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A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.
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alienation produces eccentrics or revolutionaries
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a lie told often enough becomes truth
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A little bit, and a little bit, and a little bit more.
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a little knowledge can go a long way
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A little madness now and then is relished by the wisest men.
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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
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A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles.  Structurally, there's no discernible difference.  Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts.  Why should I be concerned?
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A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?
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All biography is ultimately fiction.
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All employees are forbidden.
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"All experiences are positive. Even negative experiences are positive." -Adam Narkiewicz
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ALL FANATICS MUST DIE!
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All generalisations are false
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All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.
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All Hail Discordia.
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All in all it's just another brick in the wall...
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All is one and 1 is the loneliest number.
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All is well, watch the days go by.
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All law and order is a temporary accident.
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All men are created equal, some more equal than others.
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All men are created unequal.
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All men have the right to dig their own graves, and I have the right to sell them the shovels.
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All of the Sex with none of the calories
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All religions are true, and everyone is going to hell.
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All simplifying assumptions are too complicated.
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All stickers prohibited by law.
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All supposedly 'selfless' acts are entirely selfish. When a man gives to charity, rest assured he values the happiness it brings him more than the money itself. If he did not, he would not give away his money!
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All supposedly 'selfless' acts are entirely selfish. when someone wants to give money to charity they are selfishly doing what they want to do.
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All suspects are innocent until proven Discordian in a Court of Chaos.
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All that glitters has a high refractive index.
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All that is colossal is fraud
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all that litters is old
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ALL THAT RISES MUST CONVERGE.
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All the horrible shit you're paranoid of is coming true.
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All the technologies you take for granted were created by living, breathing, thinking, dreaming human beings just like you.
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all things are delicately interconnected
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All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
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All this foliage is obstructing my scenic view.
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all truth is relative. if you think otherwise, you are absolutely wrong.
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All urban myths suggest HIMEOBS
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All utopias are fucked from the beginning. That doesn't mean we should give up trying though.
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All we have is words
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All Wood?  Oh!  AL Wood.  I didn't see the missing "L" at first.
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All you can eat, shrimp
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all you get from shitting on someone's shit is more shit.
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Almost half of them are BELOW AVERAGE!
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a lot of professionals are crackpots
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A love of capitalism is symptomatic of a oedipal complex.
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Altruism isn't a state of mind, it is an action.
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Always be extremely moderate.
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Always be ready to walk away from a bad idea.
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Always store beer in a dark place.
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Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
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Always the catalyst... Never the Butterfly!
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alzheimer macht frei
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A man's a man all his life; a woman's sexy until she's your wife!
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A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
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A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
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Amateur surgeon, seeking new patients
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ambition is just as dangerous as complacency
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ambivalence can ruin your life
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A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one.
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America brought democracy to my country and all I got was tortured.
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Amerika is just another Latin dictatorship
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A mind is a terrible thing to waste; recycle yours at the earliest opportunity.
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A Monk climbed to the top of a mountain to find himself, and he found he was an asshole
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A motion to adjourn is always in order.
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A much-discussed alternative to homogeneous big-bang nucleosynthesis has been the first-order quark-hadron phase-transition-inspired inhomogeneous model.
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A naked mind is sexy.
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an alliance of ill lions, and they're marketing illusion
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a name means a lot just by itself
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Anarchism is a game at which the police can beat you.
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Anarchy -- it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
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Anarchy--it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
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An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.
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An aye for an aye makes the whole world pirates
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And a cat in every bag.
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And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
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And I thought I was original!
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And now, a man who needs no introduction...
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And on the other hand, you have different fingers
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And so it begins that some things last forever...
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And so I went forth, to gaze upon the totality of everything.
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And the Battle Raged on and on: fueled by the venom of hatred for mankind...
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And the first one said to the second one there, "I hope you're having fun."
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And the less I seek my source for some definitive, closer I am to fine...
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And the Lord spake unto Elvis, "Thou hast spoken against me Elvis, and I curse thee to have thy blue suede shoes trod upon for all time..."
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...and then there is this faggot...
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...And the possibility of winding up alone is so threatening and suffocating and overwhelming that you think, maybe I should just roll with it.
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And thus, sense was made.
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And where you are ain't no good unless you can get away from it
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And You Can't Believe Legislators
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an elite is inevitable
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anger or hate can be a useful motivating force
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angst is lame
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An honest politician is a national calamity.
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An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
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Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen.
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An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.
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Annihilate the adversaries with laughter.
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annoy the boring
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An object at rest cannot be stopped
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Another damned, thick, square book!  Always scribble, scribble, scribble!  Eh, Mr. Gibbon?
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An ounce of dignity is no cure for stupid
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Antibiotics, she said.
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Anti-lost is pro-found.
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Antisemitism is a gas
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A nudist is just a person in a one-button suit.
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An unbreakable heart isn't worth having.
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Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
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Anybody got any itch cream?
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Anybody who cannot comprehend mathematics is not fully human.  At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wash, cook food, and not make messes on the floor.
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Anybody who cannot comprehend mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wash, cook food, and not make messes on the floor.
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Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
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Any given program, when running, needs debugging.  Any debugged program is obsolete.
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Any given program, when running, needs debugging. Any debugged program is obsolete.
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Any insufficiently observed Order is indistinguishable from Chaos.
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Anyone seen showing signs of alarm or stress will be shot immediately.
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Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.
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Any revolution's great as long as our gadgets are construed to cause it
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Any sufficiently advanced metaphysics is indistinguishable from bullshit.
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Any sufficiently advanced postmodernism is indistinguishable from necrophilia.
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Any sufficiently advanced religion is indistinguishable from schizophrenia.
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Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
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Anything I do is purely coincidental.
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anything is a legitimate area of investigation
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Anything not nailed down is mine.  Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.
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Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.
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anything that claims to be a god is not
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Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly
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A person is just a thought you keep having
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Apocalypse!
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A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
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a positive attitude means all the difference in the world
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Apparently my future self will think it's simply hilarious to send me cryptic text messages right before major life events.
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Appreciate Chaos
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A prison becomes a home if you hold the key
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A quick guide to politics in one easy step!
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Aquiring an addiction is like growing anothers stomach that you must feed. I wouldn't reccomend it.
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A real human being is like this comparison.
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a relaxed man is not necessarily a better man
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A revolution is like a bottle of iced tea, but safer.
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Are we there yet, Papa Smurf?
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Are you a character or a being?
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Are you happy? If not, why?
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Are you interesting?
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Are you mad at God for not existing?
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Are You Mad At Yourself for Not Exiting
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Are you sophisticated? Good.
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Are you still awake?
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Are you sure? Why not?
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Are you trying to tell me that there was a time before celebrities?
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Are you un-happy? If not, why?
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are you wearing that?
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ARISE! And claim your destiny: A coup for every chicken, and a chicken for every coup!
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Arise, you wretched of the University.
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Arrest the policeman in your head
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artificial desires are despoiling the earth
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Art is dangerous
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Art is dead, don't consume its corpse.
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Art is whatever you can get away with
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Art without controversy is just craft. Artless controversy is iconoclasm.
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A rumor is one thing that gets thicker instead of thinner as it is spread.
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as a child, we believed in santa clause. as adolescents, we believed in true love. as adults, we believe in god.
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a sense of timing is the mark of genius
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As frightening as it may be, you are in control of your life. The government, your boss, and the NWO are powerless without you.
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As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if you don't take it out and use it it's going to rust.
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a sincere effort is all you can ask
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a single event can have infinitely many interpretations
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A single fact can spoil a good argument.
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A single nonrevolutionary weekend is infinitely more bloody than a month of permanent revolution.
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As I see it, yes
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Asking questions is the only way to get answers.
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Ask not what your country can do for you, it's really not that interested
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ask yourself this
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As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
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As long as the music's loud enough, we won't hear the world falling apart.
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A small mind is a tidy mind.
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A soldier is a man who underwent dehumanization so that he may be a weapon, for a weapon that questions the implications of it's use is of no use at all.
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a solid home base builds a sense of self
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As one Judge said to another: `'Be Just, and if you can't be just be arbitrary.''
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As the Euclideans would have it, irrationality is the square root of all evil.
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A stitch in nine saves time.
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a strong sense of duty imprisons you
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A sucking chest wound is just nature's way of telling you to slow down.
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A suspicious mind is a healthy mind
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A sweater is a garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly.
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As we speak, the powers that be are attempting to retrieve Unit 04, assuming it actually was pulled into a hard case, and he needs to blow the whole truth to them.
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A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
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A tainted mind cannot tell the difference twixt being ballsy and being an asshole.
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A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
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Atheists are people who have no invisible means of support
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Atheists just don't have soul man.
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A thing with just one meaning has scarcely any meaning at all.
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A thousand dollars is worth thirteen peons working twelve hours.
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A thousand lips, a thousand tongues, a thousand throats, a thousand lungs... a thousand ways to make it true, I want to do terrible things to you
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At no point should ever assume that the "professionals" have any clue what they are doing. We are slightly less clueless then you but we get paid to do it.
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A tree and a squid were killed to write this message.
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A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
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Attention:
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Attention all planets of the Solar Federation: We have assumed control.
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ATTENTION: disregard this message
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ATTENTION: The outside will be closing in ten minutes.
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ATTENTION: You are not living in a novel.
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At the core of all well-founded belief, lies belief that is unfounded.
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at times inactivity is preferable to mindless functioning
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at times your unconsciousness is truer than your conscious mind
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Attitude is no substitute for aptitude
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Authorised graffiti area
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'Authority' is the policeman in your head, not the policeman on your street.
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automation is deadly
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Avast! More sentence-tubes!
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Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutant...
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averageness is a point of view
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Avert thy gaze!
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Awareness without action is a marketing plan for your ego
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A well placed stiletto is mightier than a thousand pens.
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a well rounded argument is pointless
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awful punishment awaits really bad people
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A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
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A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
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Baa baa black sheep, have you any brain? Think for yourself cus you all think the same.
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Babies enter the world screaming in terror :)
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Bacon transforms men into incredibly sensitive and generous lovers and guarantees women the longest and most intense orgasms imaginable.
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Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
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bad intentions can yield good results
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Bad metaphors are like hit Broadway shows about toe fungus--they don't exist.
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Bad things come to those who wait too.
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Ban Censorship!
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Bavarian Illuminati: Now hiring!
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Be a badass
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Be all that you can be
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Be as if.
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Beat the change that you wish to see in the world
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be aware that the illuminati have infiltrated this archive and outnumbered our sage nonsense with moralistic catch phrases.
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Because and effect.
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Because it's there.
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Be excellent to each other
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Before it was a bomb, it was an idea. Superman is a stronger, faster, better idea.
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Before saving the world, first do the dishes.
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Behave as you like, but think like others.
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Be here at 2:23 am, I have a gift for you
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Behind every man stands a woman with a leash.
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Behind the mask, there is no face.
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Being a doormat gets you walked on.
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being alone with yourself is increasingly unpopular
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being broke is childish
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Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity.
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Being good at being stupid doesn't count.
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being happy is more important than anything else
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being judgmental is a sign of life
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Being proud of how many books you've read is the surest sign you haven't read nearly enough.
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being sure of yourself means you're a fool
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Being the Inquisition is GOOD.
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Being the most uninteresting person in the world makes you interesting
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Being who you are is it's own built-in punishment or reward.
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Being who you are is it's own punishment.
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being who you are is it's own reward
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Bela Lugosi's dead.  How about you?
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Bela Lugosi's dead. How about you?
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Be less prepared.
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Belief is a rest home for people who are tired of thinking.
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Belief is the Enemy.
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Beliefs are like assault rifles: just because the Constitution says you can have them, doesn't mean you need them.
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beliefs kill the freethinking, believe me!
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BeLIEve
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Believe nothing, dare all.
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believe the unbelievable and it won't be unbelievable any longer
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Believing in god makes you moral, like eating bologna sandwiches make you left handed.
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believing in rebirth is the same as admitting defeat
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Believing in rebirth is the same as admitting defeat
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Believing is seeing.
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BELIEVING KILLS
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Be my brother or I'll kill you.
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Beneath the paving stones - the beach!
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Beneath the paving stones, the Beach Boys!
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Be nice to other people; they outnumber you 6 billion to one.
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Be realistic, ask for the impossible.
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Be the Chaos you want to see in the world!
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Better to have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
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Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
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Beware of all clothes that require new enterprises.
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Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
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Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.
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Beware of falling hammers
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Beware of false profits
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Beware of the false profit.
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BEWARE OF TRUTH
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Beware the ides of thrill rides, for they may be of poor but entertaining construction.
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Beware your actions, your future is another's past.
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Beware your actions, your future will be your past, eventually.
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Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors -- and miss.
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Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors--and miss.
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Beyond good and evil lies North Dakota.
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Be young - shut up!
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Bi-Curiosity killed the ____________.
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big brother is not watching me
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Big donkeys, small donkeys, all good to eat.
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Binge on Education, Shit Success.
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Bitches be bitches or HOES, SLUTS AND SHIT.
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Bite me, it's fun.
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Black sheep are still sheep.
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Blasphemy is my religion
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Bleat if you love Jesus!
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Blessed are the confused, for they shall be amused.
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Blessed are they that Hunger and thirst for justice--Fuck-ed are they that develop a taste for it.
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Blessed are they that run around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.
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Blessings of the state, blessings of the masses. Work hard, increase production, prevent accidents, and be happy.
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Bliss is a Dirt Sandwhich!
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Bonzo the Demon Dog from Hell with Handlebars for Ears.
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Boredom is counterrevolutionary.
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boredom makes you do crazy things
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Bored people are boring people.
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Bow down before the one you serve
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Boxing is a lot like ballet, except that they don't dance, there isn't any music, and they hit each other.
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Brain fried -- Core dumped
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brainwashing = meme brainwashing = meme
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BRAKE YOUR LAWLS!
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Break a pattern today.
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BREAK YOUR LAWS!
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Browsers for Genocide
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Buddah wasn't perfect, he was fat
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Buddha made me do it.
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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
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Bugger off.
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Bullshit is all some of us have got.
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Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful.
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Bullshit makes the flowers grow, and that's beautiful.
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bureaucrats erase their initials, then initial their erasure.
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but a world with no idiots would be lonely - valetine wiggin.
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But I don't like Spam!!!
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But I'm already repressed!
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But she looked good in ribbons...
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But we'll never survive!
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"But we'll never survive!"  "Nonsense.  You're only saying that because no one ever has."
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Buy a lot of stuff, you're a good citizen.
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By legend and perhaps by nature philosophers are more accustomed to the armchair than the workbench.
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By the power of viagra
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Cadres decide everything.
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Call in Sick
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Call over your Visa Card and cut up her daughter.
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Calm down, your heart is beating a little too fast right now.
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calm is more conductive to creativity than is anxiety
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Can I askew a question?
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Can I ask you a rhetorical question?
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Can I ask you a second question?
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Can I get you something to drink? Refill your eggnog? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
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can-I-help-you's
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Can it be that simple? (its JUST that simple :)
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Can my false memory be that convincing?
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Cannibalism is a small price to pay for popularity.
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can this really be happening to me
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Can you hear me now?
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Can you prove you're not the enemy?
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Capitalism eats itself -- while you wait
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Capitalism: If it feels like you're stealing, then you're doing it right.
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Capitalism: That hypnotic, trance-like music that keeps them dancing on the backs of the bruised.
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Care for a penis snifter?
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care to expand?
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Cashing in on the Hollow Cost of Laughter Thoughts
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categorizing fear is calming
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catholics sacrafice to katholo, muslims to (muslim)mamo, and i could play the bango til the motherfucker broke
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cats are goddesses who are seceretly cotrolling you
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Caution: dry floor.
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Caution: dry paint.
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CAUTION: Only you are allowed to read this.
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Caution: Reality ahead.
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........ CAUTION: Suspicious Contents
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CChheecckk  yyoouurr  dduupplleexx  sswwiittcchh..
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Ceci n'est pas une phrase.
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Censorship?  We don't have any censorship here.  If we did, I couldn't say ---- or ------ ------!
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Censorship? We don't have any censorship here. If we did, I couldn't say ---- or ------ ------!
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cereal is the gateway drug, perfected
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challenge your habits
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CHANGE comes on stinky feet
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change is valuable when the oppressed become tyrants
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change your mind
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Change your mind, it's starting to smell.
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Change yourself and you change the world.
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Change your thoughts and you change your world.
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Chaos has a better imagination than you.
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Chaos is a level above order/disorder games. You cannot unsee this.
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chaos is chicken pox after 30,
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Chaos is what you make of it
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Chaos never goes out in style?
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Chaos, Panic, Disorder... My work here Is done
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Chaotic Evil means never having
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chasing the new is dangerous to society
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Chaste makes waste.
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Check Mate!
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check the euclideanness of the geometry before entering the room
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check your assumptions
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Chill out... everything's under control...
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Choking on the sweet air of freedom.
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choose life
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Choose your bondage: conformist or nonconformist.
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Christ's teachings are in the public domain.
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C.I.A. Mutha F**ker!!
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[citation needed]
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[Citation Needed]
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Citing historical precedent is bad form.
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Civilization is sterilization.
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Clap your hands if you believe in the Federal Reserve
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class action is a nice idea with no substance
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class structure is as artificial as plastic
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Click here to win.
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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
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Closed mouths sink republics.
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Close your eyes. It will get dark.
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Coca-Cola, proud sponspors of the Environment
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Coca-Cola, proud sponspors of The Revolution
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coffee up or liquor down - it's bubbles, bubbles, crutch to crown
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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum: I think I think, therefore I think I am.
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Coitus ergo sum.
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Collapse the state of mind
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Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
%
Come back at 2:35 am, I'll have a surprise for you
%
Common sense is neither.
%
COMMON SENSE IS NEITHER.
%
"Common Sense" is one of the great oxymorons, like "Happily Married" or "Military Intelligence".
%
Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat.
%
Complicated machinery has had to be matched by complicated social arrangements, designed to work as smoothly and efficiently as the new instruments of production.
%
Computers, like cats, can operate crossdimensionally; the trick is in getting them to do what you want.
%
Concrete thinking is still a metaphor
%
Confidence: a feeling peculiar to the stage just before full comprehension of the problem.
%
CONFUSE EVERYONE
%
confusing yourself is a way to stay honest
%
Confusion is paradise
%
Confusion, not knowledge, is the road to wisdom.
%
Congratulations: You have seen this message before the agents of oppression managed to remove it.
%
Congratulations! Your next clue is: http://bit.ly/e2JVA6
%
Congratulations! - You've found clue no.3 !
%
Congratulations! - You've found clue no.5 !
%
Congratulations! - You've found clue no.7 !
%
Congratulations, you've lost anything worth fighting for, Dumbass. Enjoy your subjugation.
%
Congregation, please be seated
%
Consider just thinking about it.
%
Consider your options, then look for more.
%
"Consistency is a Rationalist Fetish." -@fenris23
%
conspiracy #45
%
Conspiracy is an indication of weakness.
%
Constitution is not just a D&D stat.
%
Consume, conform, OBEY!
%
Context does.
%
Continental Life.  Why do you ask?
%
Contrary to what you may have made yourself to believe, no one really gives a shit about what you think.
%
Control is not control
%
Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves.
%
Conventions are lazy.
%
Convictions cause convicts.
%
Convulsion, subversion, defection
%
Cool manacle! ...It's a watch? Yeah, that's what I said.
%
[copper] Conduct a Fucking Thought [/zinc]
%
corporations are money obsessed sociopathic Voltrons that eat freedom and want you to be their tiger fists
%
Corporations are money obsessed sociopathic Voltrons that eat freedom and want you to be their tiger fists.
%
Cosmetics made me alien.
%
*cough* "just wanted to ADD, completely unrelated to anything, that- I believe everything, including contradictions... conversely I also believe nothing, and why not, it's never let anyone down yet!" (incidentally rope can let you down)
%
Could I interest you in a pet rock?
%
Count the seconds it takes to stop thinking about this sentence.
%
Crazee Eddeee, his prices are INSANE!!!
%
crime against property is relatively unimportant
%
Criminals are made the moment a law is passed
%
Criminals commit crime, but Congress creates it.
%
Criminals operate in clear daylight now.
%
Critique Thyself
%
"Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war..." -why cry havoc when you can wreak it?
%
Cthulhu for President -- for when you're tired of choosing the _lesser_ of the two evils.
%
Cthulhu for President--for when you're tired of choosing the _lesser_ of the two evils.
%
Cthulhu Saves.  He might get hungry later.
%
Cthulhu saves our souls and redeems them for valuable coupons later.
%
Culture is the inversion of life.
%
Curiosity killed the cat. Don't be a pussy.
%
Curiosity killed the cat, or that's what we assume as it never came back.
%
Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.
%
Cut the conversation, just open your mouth
%
Cyberspace is where you are when you're on the telephone.
%
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
%
Damn the torpedoes.
%
DANGER !! DANGER !! ABANDON THOUGHT IMMEDIATELY !!
%
DANGER: EVERY STRUCTURE IS UNSTABLE.
%
dare to be smart
%
Dare to be stupid.
%
Darth Vader died for your Sins.
%
Darwin Hates You.
%
Darwin's Law of Carcinogens: Cancer cures smoking.
%
Dating processes are dependent on the analysis of rocks.
%
Dead girls don't say yes, either.
%
Dead humans are easier to control then live ones
%
Dead puppies aren't much fun.
%
Dear products of society,
%
Death is an illusion.  Life is a hallucination.  Taxes are objective reality.
%
Death is an illusion. Life is a hallucination. Taxes are objective reality.
%
Death is just the ultimate expression of radical solipsism.
%
Death is not only for you.
%
DEATH TO MARTYRS!
%
Death without pain is like a sundae without sprinkles.
%
decadence can be an end in itself
%
Deceive boys with toys, but men with oaths.
%
deceive regularly
%
decency is a relative thing
%
Decide what you are meant to be.
%
Defective for our future.
%
Deity... he's come for me
%
Delicious and nutritious, tastes like chicken!
%
Del Mar: Where poverty is neither a philosophy nor a way of life.
%
delusions comfy enough?
%
Democracy: 9 out of 10 enjoy gang rape.
%
Democracy by Autocracy! Give them liberty and give them death!
%
Democracy is a popularity contest.
%
Democracy is Dumb When You Have No Say
%
Democracy is two wolves and a sheep voting on lunch.
%
Democracy is Watching you..
%
Denn alles was ensteht ist wert, dass es zugrunde geht.
%
dependence can be a meal ticket
%
Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
%
Der Gedanke an den Selbstmord ist ein starkes Trostmittel.
%
description is more important than metaphor
%
Despite the high cost of living, it remains a popular item.
%
destroy your mind, the rest will follow
%
deviants are sacrificed to improve group solidarity
%
Dick.
%
Did I just say that out loud?
%
didn't you just because almost sometimes depends on like before what always afterwards?
%
Did you exchange... a walk-on part in the war... for a lead role in a cage?
%
Did you know that if you were a kangaroo, you couldn't be a mailman?
%
Did you know that lithium builds up in the fatty tissues of the body?
%
Did you poop my pants or did my poop pants in MY poop?
%
Did your fork eat you with that butt?
%
Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow
%
Difference engenders hate.
%
Dig your own reality tunnel
%
Ding a ding-dang my dang-a-long ling-long
%
Discordia is the auto-immune disease of The Machine (TM).
%
discordia lumine maior
%
Discordianism: It stirs the coffee.
%
Discordianism: Paint Thinner for the Soul.
%
Discordianism: the Schroedinger's Cat of religions.
%
Discordians do it with... oh my god! where did all these bugs come from?!?! They're coming out of my skin, holy shit! How can you think about sex at a time like this?
%
[Discordians] need to be like a plague - not so virulent that we wipe out all potential carriers, but not so mild that we die out.
%
Discourse on virtue and they pass by in droves. Whistle and dance the shimmy, and you've got an audience.
%
disgust is the appropriate response to most situations
%
Disorder is order.
%
disorganization is a kind of anesthesia
%
Disregard any further announcements.
%
Disregard this line of text and everything after/before; I think it's nonsense
%
DIY
%
DNA controls you!
%
Doesn't this all seem a bit weird to you?
%
Does your conscience like it when you lie to yourself?
%
Does your mother know you can read this?
%
Dogma is what other people believe in.
%
D'oh!
%
Do I *amuse* you?  Am I a *clown* to you?
%
Do I *amuse* you? Am I a *clown* to you?
%
Doing nothing you regret leads to regretting doing nothing.
%
Do it for the Widow's Son.
%
Do it. If you don't, who will?
%
Do it, or you'll be fishing yak cheese from your nostrils!
%
DO NOT BELIEF
%
Do not believe language.
%
Do not call up that which you cannot put on hold.
%
DO NOT DEFACE THIS SIGN SUCKS
%
DO NOT DISTURB.
%
Do nothing you'll regret and you will regret doing nothing.
%
Do not live, do not die.
%
Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
%
Do not open this door under any circumstances.
%
Do not read this.
%
DO NOT READ THIS
%
Do not read this message.
%
Do Not Remove
%
Do not remove tag under penalty of law.
%
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
%
Do not taunt the Happy Fun Ball.  If Happy Fun Ball starts to smoke, run away and take cover.
%
Do not taunt the Happy Fun Ball. If Happy Fun Ball starts to smoke, run away and take cover.
%
Do NOT turn around. You are NOT being observed.
%
Do not under any circumstances suspend disbelief.
%
Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
%
DO NOT WANT.
%
Don't be fooled by appearances; I am a surveillance camera.
%
Don't beg for the right to live, take it.
%
Don't believe anyone believes everything they think.
%
Don't believe everything you think.
%
Don't believe in the Uzi, it just went off in my hand.
%
Don't believe them, don't believe them, question everything you're told
%
Don't believe this sentence.
%
Don't believe you know - know you believe
%
Don't be naive.
%
DON'T call me dude, dude.
%
Dont'cha hate it when that happens?
%
Don't compensate, IMITATE!
%
Don't complain if you do nothing.
%
Don't count on it
%
Don't eat yellow snow.
%
don't eat your soul to fill your belly
%
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
%
Don't forget to die
%
dont forget to put your head in front of the shotgun,thanks for calling:)
%
Don't fuck the man. You'll get an STD.
%
Don't fuck with the government: it might reproduce!
%
Don't get even. Get odd.
%
Don't give them what they want, give them what they need
%
Don't give up, push a pawn
%
don't go with the flow
%
Don't have a cow, man.
%
Don't just defend the right to be wrong--exercise it!
%
Don't just do something--stand there!
%
Don't keep time: it's not yours.
%
Don't knock masturbation; isn't sex with someone you love the best kind?
%
Don't knock my smock or I'll clean your clock!
%
Don't knock opportunity
%
Don't let signs like this one tell you what to do.
%
Don't let the pigs separate our culture from our politics. oops
%
don't let your kids lick the pavement until a few weeks after application.
%
Don't lie, don't steal, and don't play in the mud.
%
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
%
Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder
%
Don't mind the dog, beware of the owner..
%
Don't negotiate with the bosses. Abolish them.
%
Don't open your eyes, you won't like what you see; the devils of truth steal the souls of the free... don't open your eyes, take it from me -- I have found you can find happiness in slavery...
%
Don't open your eyes, you won't like what you see; the devils of truth steal the souls of the free... don't open your eyes, take it from me--I have found you can find happiness in slavery...
%
Don't panic.
%
don't place to much trust in experts
%
don't postpone joy
%
Don't read me, I'm embarrassed about being self-referential.
%
Don't run! We are your friends!
%
Don't shoot the messenger. At least not until he's told you what the message is
%
Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
%
Don't speculate on a mirror.
%
Don't spend time: it doesn't belong to you.
%
Don't stop believing, just don't limit your options.
%
Don't swim upstream, the future was right where you were.
%
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive
%
don't take take any crap, but please give a shit.
%
Don't think
%
Don't Think!! BELIEVE!!
%
Don't tread on me
%
Don't trip out. Trip in.
%
Don't trust me--I don't exist.
%
Don't trust them, just humor them.
%
Don't try to do no thinking
%
Don't worry: all will be obscured in time
%
Don't worry.  Baldrick has a cunning plan.
%
Don't worry. Baldrick has a cunning plan.
%
Don't worry, be metal
%
Don't worry, go crazy.
%
Don't worry, no one else believes this bullshit either.
%
Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.
%
Don't worry--you're being watched.
%
Do or do not there is no try. Is not trying doing in parts?
%
do spites get mad when you just laugh at their warning signs?
%
do those you perceive as self-righteous think of you as the same?
%
Do unto others before they do unto you.
%
Do we know what an empty room really looks like?
%
Do what keepeth thou from wilting shall be the law of the Hole.
%
Do what this sign tells you to do.
%
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law and some people do like assholes
%
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Just remember, no one likes an asshole.
%
Do what you want cause a Pirate is Free.
%
Do what you want to say
%
Down is the new up!
%
DOWN WITH DISEASE
%
DOWN WITH EARTHWORM EXPERIMENTS
%
Do you believe in the ideology becuase of the ideas or do you believe in the ideas because of the ideology?
%
Do you believe in the son of God? No, I believe in the uncle of God!
%
Do you believe in the sun of God? No, I believe in the uncle of God!
%
Do you believe or just believe that you believe?
%
Do you ever feel like putting your fist through a window just so you can feel something?
%
Do you ever get feelings of Deja Vu?
%
Do you FEEL like a moron when you wake up in the morning, or is it a surprise to you?
%
Do you feel that life is a never-ending elusion of grandeur?
%
Do you find this question offensive?
%
Do you fnord if I fnord your fnord?
%
do you fuck your fork with that mouth or do you fuck your mouth with that fork?
%
Do you fuck your mother with that fork?
%
Do you have another man's name on your underwear?
%
Do you know God is a Crazy Woman? I don't.
%
Do you know that feeling that you get when you lean back too far in a chair and start to tip over, but then you catch youself?
%
Do you like rules? If not why do you keep following them?
%
Do you mistake your inner monologue for reality?
%
Do you own your own reality tunnel?
%
Do you smell bacon?
%
do you think we are forever?
%
Do you want a cookie?
%
drama often obscures the real issues
%
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
%
Dreadlocks: the only hairstyle That's also a workout routine.
%
Dreamed any reality lately?
%
dreaming while awake is a frightening contradiction
%
Drive defensively; buy a tank.
%
Drive your cart and plow over the bones of the dead.
%
Driving makes you stupid; the more you drive, the stupider you get.
%
DUCK !!
%
Duct tape is like the Force.  It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together.
%
Due to circumstances within our control, tomorrow will be cancelled.
%
DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, REALITY ENDS HERE
%
DUMB IS A FORCE OF NATURE
%
Dumb is like gravity; you can try to outrun the closest source, but you will eventually get snagged by another one.
%
During the Asparagus Season, members are requested not to relieve themselves in the hatstand.
%
dying and coming back gives you considerable perspective
%
Dying can be hazardous to your health.
%
Dying is easy.  Comedy is hard.
%
Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.
%
dying should be as easy as falling off a log
%
Each and single one
%
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
%
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes.
%
Earn cash in your spare time, blackmail your friends.
%
Earth don't give a fuck.
%
Eating the menu?
%
Eat the Poor: what are they gonna do about it.
%
Education is a form of murder
%
education is everywhere
%
Eek!
%
Eggs on top, canned goods on the bottom...
%
Either you're with us, or you're giving us a damned good excuse to keep going
%
elaboration is a form of pollution
%
Elite Populist
%
Embrace Free Will....It's your DESTINY!
%
emotional responses ar as valuable as intellectual responses
%
Emotions are simply gears your brain/body can go into.
%
Employees must wash hands before not returning to work.
%
empower proponents of peer pressure
%
Empty Heart, Empty Mind, Empty Soul - VACANCY!!
%
End the unjust american occupation of disneyland!
%
END THOUGHT CRIME; STOP THINKING
%
Endurance is frequently a form of indecision.
%
Enjoy Coca-Cola Or the terrorists have already won
%
ENJOY WITHOUT CAUTION.
%
enjoy yourself because you can't change anything anyway
%
Enlightenment is Bullshit
%
Enlightenment is like the Police State - if you'd shut up for once, you'd realize you're already there.
%
Enlightenment won't save you any more than God will.
%
Enough glass in your diet?
%
ensure that your life stays in flux
%
Entropy is just improvement in disguise
%
Entropy is the final state, always.
%
Envelopes don't mail themselves, BUDDY.
%
Equal or eQuality are the grandest fallacies and unnormal Myth's believed by humanity , and cause of continued non-logical thinking. but also a source of
%
ERIS DID IT FOR TEH LULZ!!1
%
Eris may help you.
%
Eris: She's in control when no one's in control.
%
Eschew Obfuscation.
%
Established government defends its monopoly on terrorism by killing its competitors.
%
Eternal Truths are neither.
%
Ethos under desconstruction
%
Et sic patet quod totus mundus est sicut unum speculum plenum luminibus praesentantibus divinam sapientam, et sicut carbo effundens lucem.
%
Eureka!
%
Even a negative action is a positive one.
%
Even Beyonce's booty can't save ____
%
Even if God existed, it would be necessary to abolish him.
%
Even if you are on the right track you'll get run over if you just sit there!
%
even she goes poo... even she
%
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
%
Even the Mona Lisa is falling apart
%
even your family can betray you
%
Even your suspicions are suspect
%
Ever see 'THEM'?
%
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
%
every achievement requires a sacrifice
%
Everybody else who read this was a smug asshole, it's a good thing you came along.
%
Everybody farts in the same language.
%
Everybody is equal here.  It's just some people are more equal than others.
%
Everybody is equal here. It's just some people are more equal than others.
%
Everybody knows.
%
Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun.
%
Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop mudding and fall in love!
%
Everybody ought to have a friend.
%
Everybody ought to have a maid.
%
Everybody's a self-made man; but only the successful ones are ever willing to admit it.
%
Everybody wants freedom for himself and prison for the others
%
Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow.
%
Every element of structure you incorporate into your life will reprogram you.
%
Every farmer who owns a donkey beats it.
%
Every generation has thought that they would be the last. Every single one has been wrong.
%
"Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority."
%
every man is happy until happiness is suddenly a goal
%
Every morning someone new is in my mirror.
%
Every one can read your mind.
%
Everyone has their favorite blind spot.
%
Everyone is Jesus in Discordianism.
%
Everyone is wrong, but some of us are more correct than others.
%
every one of you assholes thinks you are interpreting "do what thou wilt ...." correctly...but you are all wrong! (ok, Not very catchy but its true.)
%
Everyone's Discordia is different
%
everyone's work is equally important
%
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
%
every snowflake is different. collect the whole set!
%
Every statement contains falsehood
%
everything counts in large amounts
%
EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR NO REASON
%
Everything happens, not for a reason. but everything happens.
%
Everything I know has been to space!
%
Everything in excess!  To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites.
%
Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites.
%
Everything in moderation, including Moderation itself.
%
Everything is exactly what you think it is.
%
Everything is Pornographic.
%
Everything is true- all things are forbidden.
%
Everything is true -- everything is permissible!
%
Everything is true - Everything is permissible!
%
everything new is ment to get used,old and bottled
%
Everything really does revolve around you.
%
EVERYTHING SUSPICIOUS IS TERRORISM
%
everything that's interesting is new
%
Everything you know... is just that.
%
Everything you know is wrong!
%
Every time God kills a kitten, a gay couple marries.
%
Every time the organ grinder plays, the monkey gets the itch to dance.
%
Every time you see this sentence you will recognize it.
%
Evolution doesn't take prisoners.
%
Evolution IS Genocide
%
Evolve! The monkeys are catching up!
%
Ewige Blumenkraft!
%
Examine the following:
%
exceptional people deserve special concessions
%
exciting controversy
%
Excuse me, what did you say?  Oh, I thought you said "Whop".
%
Existence deleted due to violation of terms of service
%
Existence is futile
%
expect a spanish inquisition.
%
Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
%
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
%
expiring for love is beautiful but stupid
%
Explain your sense of self
%
expressing anger is necessary
%
Express your free-will and do not comment on this.
%
Express yourself through supreme bovinity.
%
extreme behavior has its basis in pathological psychology
%
EXTREME BUDDHISM.
%
extreme self-consciousness leads to perversion
%
Eyes only. Do not see.
%
Facts: Confusing humanity since.
%
Failure takes practice
%
Fait accompli...
%
faithfulness is a social not a biological law
%
Faith, hope and charity. I've had them all.
%
Faith is not an excuse.
%
fake or real indifference is a powerful personal weapon
%
Falling from a great height does not kill, but the sudden stop will,
%
FALL OUT BOY IS NOT MEME-WORTHY.
%
Famous people are delicious.
%
Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
%
Fashion a sword from the shards of your broken dreams.
%
fate is how your life looks backwards
%
fathers often use too much force
%
Fat people are harder to kidnap.
%
fat people think they are fat.
%
Fear and prejudice put up a terrible fight when they sense change coming.
%
fear is the greatest incapacitator
%
fear not the wrath of failure lest you not try.
%
Fear of consequence doesn't equal a lack of choice
%
Fear of Uncertainty Can Kill YOU
%
fear your friends
%
February 28th is national enjoy nothing day.
%
February is a good time to buy elephants
%
Feed Your Change to The Machine.
%
feel better now
%
Feel great on purpose.
%
Feel great with purpose
%
Few things work up an appetite like good, wholesome, sadomasochistic sex.
%
Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
%
Fight apathy or don't.
%
Fight crime.  Shoot back.
%
Fight crime. Shoot back.
%
Fight For Freedom, not "Freedom"
%
Fill in the blank: I'm always ______ myself.
%
Find your passion for apathy
%
Fine, DON'T have a nice day, see if I care.
%
Finishing is for quitters.
%
Fire in its advance will judge and convict all things.
%
Fire in the whole... isn't that Heraclytus main point?
%
First I must sprinkle you with fairy dust...
%
First rule of glass blowing: Hot glass looks just like cold glass
%
First rule of traffic: An red octagonal sign is incapable of stopping a moving vehicle
%
First there was nothing, so the lord gave us light. There was still nothing, but at least you could see it.
%
first, we state that women require time and money
%
Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads
%
Five is a demon.
%
FIVE TONS OF FLAX!
%
Flee at once, all is discovered.
%
Fliegende Kinderscheisse!
%
Flixtipix make flossing the cat fun!
%
fly's undone.
%
Fnord!
%
Fnord?
%
Fnord.
%
Fnord is the second spoon in your Whizz Fizz.
%
Follow ME - I'll be right behind you
%
Foolish little minds are consistent among hobgoblins.
%
Foolproof systems don't take into account the ingenuity of fools.
%
Fools seldom differ
%
For a good time call Eris
%
For a good time, please call 000.
%
Forcefully doing nothing.
%
FOREVER ALONE
%
For every new foolproof invention there is a new and improved fool.
%
For further information, consult your pineal gland.
%
Forget about your rights and they'll go away.
%
Forget this moment ever happened.
%
Forget you even read this.
%
Forgive those who hate you, and those who you hate, for love and hate are two sides of the same coin. hate is love poisoned, love opposed is apathy.
%
For him to get a clue would require heroic implant surgery.
%
For how long are things what they seem After I skinny Dip through your waking Dream.
%
For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.
%
FORM FOLLOWS FICTION.
%
For some, it's the left-hand path, for some, it's the right-hand path; for me, it's the psycho-path, RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE THROUGH THE MALL WITH A BULLDOZER!
%
For some reason the concept of sacrificing accuracy to increase efficiency seems inherently wrong.
%
For such a cute kid, you sure turned out ugly.
%
For those of you without hope, we have rooms with color TV, cable and air conditioning
%
Fred and Daphne were swingers.  It's true!  Look at the scarves they wore!
%
Free
%
Free Baser Evil!
%
Freedom allows you to choose which cage to live in.
%
Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
%
Freedom can be taken away; but its more likely given away
%
Freedom -- do you grok it?
%
Freedom? Freedom is for proles.
%
Freedom is a lie, but lies will make you free.
%
freedom is a luxury not a necessity
%
FREEDOM IS AN ACT OF REBELLION.
%
Freedom is a party
%
FREEDOM IS A VERB
%
Freedom is just a hallucination created by a pathological lack of paranoia.
%
Freedom isn't everyone's cup of tea.
%
FREEDOM ISN'T FREE.
%
Freedom is within their grasp.
%
Freedom Needs Work.
%
Freedom- now comes in a new minty scent
%
Freedom of speech ain't free.
%
Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one.
%
Freedom--You've gotta give for what you take
%
Free? Prove it!
%
Free speech does not mean consequence-free speech.
%
FREE SPEECH IS THE RIGHT TO SHOUT
%
FREE, take one--they belong to Lars Ulrich.
%
FREE THE MURDERERS!
%
free water! Take one!
%
Free Will is sacred to GOD. so use your free will the way god wants you to - or else.
%
Friends are just people waiting to be enemies....
%
Frogs are my favorite vegetable.
%
From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, we are all tools of the Conspiracy...
%
Frumble!  Frumble!  Istharcity!
%
fuck bitches, get money.
%
Fuck Darwin, Donate Semen.
%
Fuck em if they cant take a joke.
%
Fuck semantics!
%
FUCK SPARTA!
%
Fuck the Man, he needs it.
%
FUCK THE SYSTEM! just kidding...NOT!
%
Fuck the whales, save the banks!
%
FUCK WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT CHAOS.
%
fuck your brand of individuality.
%
fun is my function
%
fun or doom
%
Futility is futile.
%
fututio, non verba.
%
Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear.
%
G'day!  Ewige Blumenkraft, Mate!
%
Generally speaking, women are.
%
Get a hat!  Get a hairy hat!
%
Get a hat! Get a hairy hat!
%
get an afterlife
%
GET AN AFTERLIFE
%
get fired. taste delicious.
%
GET OFF THE INTERNET AND DO SOMETHING
%
get off your knees!!!!!
%
GET OVER IT
%
Get paranoid to act fast.
%
Get ready for this.
%
Getting back to where you once belong is a long an winding road. Help!
%
Get up Dog Boy!  Show them where you come from, show them where you're going!
%
Get up Dog Boy! Show them where you come from, show them where you're going!
%
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
%
"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
%
Give a monkey a brain and he'll swear he's the center of the universe.
%
Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth.
%
Give me a thousand men crazy enough to conquer hell, and I will do it.
%
Give me liberty or, else.
%
Give me liberty or give them death!
%
Give me liberty or I'll fucking kill you!
%
Give me my goddamn country back!
%
Give up while your still where you started.
%
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
%
giving free rein to your emotions is an honest way to live
%
go all out in romance and let the chips fall where they may
%
Go back and pick that up, I saw that!
%
God bless the kufar
%
god created masturbation.
%
God created the world and everything in it right after he found an instruction manual telling him how to do it.
%
Goddess forbids nothing, but nobody likes an asshole.
%
God does not play russian roulette with the universe.
%
God doesn't believe in you, either.
%
God doesn't give a fuck.
%
God exists only when we are unaware of him.
%
GOD help us...help us lose our minds.
%
Go directly to jail.
%
God is an excuse.
%
GOD IS A PERVERT
%
GOD IS DEAD AND NOONE CARES
%
God is innocent; the church did it all.
%
God isn't a cupcake: but what if He was?
%
God made me an atheist.
%
go down and drown'd
%
going with the flow is soothing but risky
%
Good artists borrow. Great artists starve to death.
%
Good, bad, *I'm* the guy with the gun!
%
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
%
Good luck on your exam.
%
Good Morning!
%
Good news!
%
Go on, I won't tell.
%
Go on walking, don't look at here, pretend not to have read this sign.
%
Go places.
%
Go Speed Racer  Go Speed Racer  Go Speed Racer Go
%
Got a college degree?
%
Go talk to that old weird guy at Dennys.
%
Government Complaints Box
%
go within the flow
%
Go with your instinct on problem number 5.
%
Grab it and feel it
%
Grab life by the neck and squeeze!
%
grass roots agitation is the only hope
%
Grate with purpose
%
Grayface is a Pope too
%
Great! Doesn't it
%
Great minds think alike, but they seldom march in single file.
%
Greatness is a transitory experience.  It is never consistent.
%
Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent.
%
Green paper makes me happy!
%
Green potatoes and green potato chips are to be distinguished from brown potato chips, which are another matter entirely.
%
Greetings, lowly citizen.  I seek your PEZ!
%
Grey! Did I hear you say grey?
%
"Grey! Did I hear you say grey?"  "Light black.  From pole to pole."
%
Gridlock to the max, Jack
%
Grow your own. It's the new safe.
%
Grumplicious Grumplicious Grumplicious!!!
%
guilt and self-laceration are indulgences
%
Guns don't kill people.  Bullets do.
%
Guns don't kill people. Bullets do.
%
Guns don't kill people, I do.
%
Guns Protect Killers.
%
Guy Debord is dead, don't consume his corpse.
%
Guys have right. Change are coming.
%
Habeas Corpus
%
habitual contempt doesn't reflect a finer sensibility
%
Hail Bob!
%
Hail Damage Repair!
%
Hail Eris!
%
Hail / Praise / Ia / Fuck / Grep / Eat     Eris / "Bob" / Cthulhu / The Conspiracy / Kibo / Spam
%
Hail Stones!
%
Half the trick is knowing the CyberPunks from the CyberPinks.
%
Hallucination is no private matter
%
Ha, look at you being intelligent
%
Happiness comes in packages marked 'Batteries Not Included'.
%
Happiness is a new idea.
%
Happiness is mandatory.  Are you happy?
%
Happiness is mandatory. Are you happy?
%
Hard drugs made me a better person.
%
Harmony is Concordant Discord. -Pythagoras
%
Harry Potter is the Jesus for our age.
%
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
%
Has to happen to somebody.
%
Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hast... urrrrrrrk!
%
hate humanity. love people
%
Hate is a chemical reaction.
%
Hate is a strong word...so is Love.
%
hate love - love hate
%
Hate the Poor: what are THEY gonna do about it.
%
Hatred may breed contempt, but ignorance invites it in for dinner.
%
Have a good day, or die.
%
Have a nice day. Or else
%
Have that mole checked out
%
Have you been alive lately?
%
Have you ever met a rational person?
%
Have your furries spayed and neutered!
%
Have you seen my stapler?
%
Have you seen Nicolas Flamel?
%
Heads I win, tails you lose.
%
Head Your mind!
%
Heaven must be hell if you're afraid of heights.
%
He buy me a soda... he buy me a soda and tried to molest me in the parking lot, yep yep yep yep
%
He can't be a man cause he does not smoke the same cigarettes as me
%
He doesn't like me.  HE NEVER LIKED ME!
%
Hedonism is vastly over-rated.
%
He gives twice who gives promptly.
%
Hell hath no humor like a discordian scorned.
%
Hellllllooooooooo, Nurse!
%
Help! I cannot eat my own brain!
%
Help keep our junkyards beautiful: throw away something lovely today!
%
help me i've turned into a sentence
%
help me i've turned into paper
%
"HELP STAMP OUT THOUGHT: OBEY"
%
Help!  There's a cow in my esophagus!
%
HER AVOIDING EYES
%
Here he comes -- here comes Speed Racer -- he's a demon on wheels
%
Here he comes--here comes Speed Racer--he's a demon on wheels
%
here in america, people (who may be your neighbors) still worship the sun.
%
Here stands the Great Machine! Its eyes are gold and silver, and its name is Urizen. Ever does it turn, marching forward into eternity, turning the blood of men into history. Caught in its terrible gears, the world wails. Turning, turning, ever turning: The end is marked by a wheel
%
Here's what I know,
%
"Here's what I know," said the physicist.  "If we lived in a microscopic world, trucks would crash into walls, fly apart and then reassemble perfectly on the other side of the wall.  This has been proven."
%
Here, take this shovel. You know what to do.
%
Heretics have the best barbecues!
%
Her mariage.
%
Heroes Needed! Inquire within.
%
He's a tragic figure in a paisley shirt
%
He's a trash-culture king on a four-color throne
%
He's dead. Get over it.
%
He sells contact lenses for a cubist world
%
He's reaching for perspective and found this place. The poor bastard.
%
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
%
He that leaveth nothing to chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few things.
%
Heute die Welt, Morgens das Sonnensystem!
%
He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool. He who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.
%
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
%
He who has long legs and short arms cannot touch one's toes...
%
He who hates vices hates mankind.
%
He who laughs, lasts.
%
He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.
%
He who marries the Spirit of his Age, soon becomes a widower.
%
HE WHO SO SHALL, SO SHALL HE WHO.
%
Hey, go buy a plane ticket to another state of mind, okay?
%
Hey, I have an idea! Let's all go spray paint some cars in Singapore.
%
hey sheeple! whos your shepard!
%
Hey, that's just the way the cookie gets completely stomped on and obliterated.
%
Hey, wow man, they've got codes for mazurkas!
%
Hey, you in the gray suit. Your wife is cheating on you.
%
Hey, you've got a third eye!  Uh, never mind... it's just a spot of dirt in the middle of your forehead.
%
hiding your emotions is despicable
%
Hi, I'm Jesus :)
%
HIMEOBS: Dude, where's my spysat?
%
HIMEOBS - The Bakery is Open
%
HIMEOBS: Yuo can't paddle fast enough.
%
His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans - and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
%
His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools--the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans - and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
%
History: an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, brought about by rulers mostly knaves and soldiers mostly fools.
%
History is a religion
%
History is the study of the world's crime.
%
History is written by the winners
%
Hokum all ye faithful
%
Hold!  Cease thy stultiloquy!  Oh, not daggers or swords or all the spears in the world stung me greater than this rubbish you throw to the heavens!"
%
holding back protects your vital energies
%
Hold on to freedom as long as you can, 'cause the girl in your cell might think she's a man
%
Holiness is just a lobotomy away!
%
Holy Shit, did you see that!? No, of course not, you were reading this note.
%
Holy shit look over there --->
%
Homework: Find out what happens to male chickens hatching in industrial egg-producing facilities.
%
HOMO MERCATOR VIX AUT NUMQUAM POTEST DEA PLACERE
%
Homosexuality is the best all around cover an agent ever had.
%
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
%
honey is in the eye of the bee-keeper
%
Honey, the whole city is full of people who hate teenagers.
%
Honi soit la vache qui rit.
%
Hope is what gets you up in the morning. Change is what buys you the coffee to get through it.
%
Hope kills; despair is only tiresome.
%
Horniness is a quintessential example of hope.
%
HORROR IS MIRTH
%
Hot Topic is to rebellion as Hot Pockets are to nutrition.
%
How am I not myself?
%
How am I not who I Am?
%
How are you reading this?
%
How can one think freely in the shadow of a chapel?
%
How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
%
How can you be paranoid, knowing that that's exactly what they want?
%
How come you so Dumb?
%
How did you get here?
%
How does spying on us catch terrorists?
%
How do you expect me to take it seriously if i can't make fun of it?
%
How do you get all those coins?
%
"How do you get all those coins?"  "IN PAIRS."
%
How do you make a cat go moo?  Ask it "Does a dog have the Buddha-nature?"
%
How do you make a cat go moo? Ask it "Does a dog have the Buddha-nature?"
%
How do you think *this* got here, huh?
%
How is this sentence not gibberish?
%
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
%
How many advertisements are you wearing?
%
How many bears could Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears?
%
How many gods do you currently not believe in?
%
How many of your facebook posts are pearls before whine?
%
How many people stood exactly where you are now?
%
"How many tentacles has Great Cthulhu got?"  "Too many."
%
How many times do I have to tell you that drilling holes in your head will not relieve stress?
%
How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.
%
How necessary are you?
%
How often do you feel human?
%
How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
%
How's that working out for you?
%
How untasteful can you get?
%
How was the first/last time you felt great?
%
How would language evolve if everyone claimed copyright on the words they invent?
%
Huh, turns out that - WAS - poison!
%
humanism is obsolete
%
Humans are like snowflakes: they may be unique, but from a distance they all look the same
%
Humans: Bet you can't eat just one.
%
Humans sure have a strange way of dying.
%
humor is a release
%
Hunger is the mother of beauty
%
Hurry up and make yourself important so you can make things easier for the rest of us.
%
Hush! Uncle Sam is listening!
%
Hypocrisy has saved us from many bad ideas that might otherwise have been practiced as well as preached.
%
Hypocrisy is necessary but not sufficient for humanity.
%
I admit that I am powerless over fish innards.
%
I ain't got time to think, do it for me.
%
I always thought I subconsciously wanted to kill myself...
%
i am a living, breathing human being. do you perhaps feel threatened by me, besides your cold, dead, unchanging self?
%
I am always right.  Except when I'm left, or bluffing.
%
I am always right. Except when I'm left, or bluffing.
%
I am a modest man, with much to be modest about
%
I am an elitist asshole and I fully support and endorse your right to be an idiot.
%
i am an old surrealist trapped in a teenager's body. Or the other way around...
%
I am a verb and so can you!
%
I am delighted to have been of entertainment.
%
I am feeling so grey today...
%
I am feeling so grey today...	Change this for your country's police hotline
%
I am GOD here!
%
I am living in denial.
%
I am no longer infected
%
I am nothing. Nothing is perfect. Hence I am perfect.
%
i am paint. watch me dry!
%
I am sooo DE-VO!  How long can this go on?!
%
I am sooo DE-VO! How long can this go on?!
%
I am the Electric Messiah; an AC/DC god.
%
I am the king of all iconoclasts
%
I am uncertain.
%
I am very cold and alone every day. My world is one of anguish and regret.
%
I am Zorkon, this is my brother Zenon, and this is my other brother Zenon.
%
"I begged Eris for mercy, and the power to be victorious. I only got one."
%
I believe I disbelieve.
%
i believe that children are the futile
%
I believe that everyone is entitled to my opinion.
%
I believe that it is time we enact Godwin's Law at the federal level. Do it for the children!
%
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
%
I bet you stepped in it.
%
I call her Attila, 'cuz she's my Hun...
%
I came. I saw. I believed.
%
I came, I saw, she conquered.
%
I came to a conclusion earlier, which made me think. Why am I wanking to a conclusion?
%
I can see it now, all crystallizing in the moment of activation, and what if the programmer is the reason for all the evil and misfortune and injustice in the world; what if every single unfortunate event that's ever occurred is caused by the butterfly flap of that man trying to prevent it all, and the entire concept of evil and finity and a difficult world is all a big cruel self-fulfilling prophecy, and it's all my fault; a big joke, and I'm the punchline?
%
I can see you
%
i can spot a lesbian quicker than a toupee
%
I can't pretend a stranger is a long awaited friend...
%
I can't see Half the things I believe in!
%
ice cream is never the wrong decision
%
I conceive of nothing, in religion, science, or philosophy, that is more than the proper thing to wear, for a while.
%
I contradict myself? Well, good thing! I contradict myself I own: I am able to take a lot!
%
I contradict myself? Well, good thing! I contradict myself I own: I am unable to take a lot!
%
I could cure cancer! unless i can't and then i won't.
%
I could only masquerade
%
I dance around and sing a song and know that I can do no wrong.
%
Idealists have a hard time understanding that the universe doesn't give a fuck what they believe in.
%
ideals are replaced by conventional goals at a certain age
%
I decided to go into a draconian diet, cutting alcohol, fat, and sugar. In two weeks, I lost 14 days.
%
I declare a permanent state of happiness.
%
Ideology is a thought killer.
%
I'd give it a 10, but you can't do the batoosie to it.
%
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
%
I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables!
%
I did smoke Thor's hammer, but then again I do try to normally smoke the god stuff.
%
I disagree with your opinion, but I will defend to the death your right to go fuck yourself.
%
I'd like to like you like you like me.
%
I don't believe in reason, objective reality or collective farming.
%
I don't believe, I think. I think I don't believe anything.
%
I don't believe you.
%
I don't exist.
%
I don't have a drinking problem... I drink, I get drunk, I fall down.  No problem.
%
I don't have a drinking problem... I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem.
%
i don't have expectations; i have hopes. i don't have plans; i have dreams. i don't have a future; i have a life. and that is infinitely better.
%
I don't have time for the truth.
%
i don't have to believe communism works "its the government's job to believe it for me"
%
I don't have to care about your problems until you solve mine.
%
I don't know if it's lonely at the top
%
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
%
i dont really know anything.
%
I don't think I think what you think I think.
%
I don't want anybody else; when I think about you I touch myself
%
I don't want to believe this statement.
%
I'd rather be an ass-less chap then a harry fookes!
%
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
%
I ejaculate upon your disapproval.
%
I enjoy your company most when I am by myself.
%
If a family member dies, would you delete their Mii from the family Wii?
%
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
%
If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
%
If any of you loved me, you'd kill yourselves in my honor.
%
If at first, the idea is not absurd,
%
If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
%
If at first you don't succeed, try following the instructions.
%
If a tree falls in the forest, and no-one is around to hear it... is God omnipresent?
%
If being right is wrong, I don't want to be right.
%
If being wrong is right, I don't want to be wrong.
%
IF Chaos is order and order is Chaos is there chaos and order or just existence without definition
%
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
%
If Cthulhu calls... let the machine pick it up.
%
I feel like eating an airplane.
%
I feel like jonah in the belly of a whale.
%
if fascism cam to americait would be on a program of americanism. - h. long
%
If Goddess had intended humans to smoke, She would have set them on fire.
%
If God was real, you'd be dead by now.
%
If I asked you to have sex with me, would you answer the same as you would to this question?
%
if i could turn you on, if I could drive you out of your wretched mind, if i could tell you I would let you know. - ronald d. laing
%
If ignorance is bliss, wipe that smile off your face.
%
If I had an axe, I'd still be free.
%
If I hadn't believed it, I would never have seen it.
%
If I let you go, do you think you could fly?
%
i find memebombs hard to masturbate to, but i still use it daily.
%
If infinite rednecks fired infinite shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, they'd eventually create all the great literary works of the world in braille.
%
If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.
%
If it is as it is is it as it is or as it is to be pneumoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
%
If it is the case that when all you have is a hammer, everything becomes a nail, then what does it mean when the only utensils left are knives?
%
if it keeps on raining the levees going to break
%
If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck it is probably just a tool of the conspiracy.
%
If it makes sense, we can't do it.
%
If it makes you cry, it is real; if it makes you laugh, it probably is true.
%
If it's a game you can't lose, then it isn't a game at all, but an exercise in futility.
%
IF ITS BALANCE YOU WANT, GET SOME SCALES
%
If it's comprehensible, it's obsolete.
%
If it's not pointlessly complicated, it's not going to work
%
If its to be its up to me
%
If its to be, its up to me
%
If it wasn't for television, you'd have never gotten that tattoo.
%
If it weren't for humans there would be no Good or Evil.
%
If it weren't for lawyers, I think we could have invented a universal symbolic representation of reality.
%
If I was a woman I'd stay at home all day and play with my breasts.
%
If I was witty, I'm sure you'd be laughing by now.
%
If I were you I'd dance naked in the middle of the street just to embarrass you.
%
If Life gives you Chaos, you have won.
%
If life gives you lemons, build a rocket-powered lemon gun.
%
If life gives you lemons, find a small child with open wounds.
%
if martians were psychologists they would have described the mars rovers as : curious, solitary creatures with a strong passion for the rocks ("rockofillia"). analyzing behaviors is pointless and unscientific.
%
if Mary was a virgin then Jesus popped his mothers cherry
%
If money is a protocol for interchange, why is the world economy in a recession?
%
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
%
if one lives long enough in chaos it happend that the things Order oneself - or Themself - LOL
%
If opportunity knocks, go to bed with your pants on.
%
I found Nirvana. It was in my album collection.
%
If seeing is believing you have to be blind.
%
If she doesn't scare ya, no evil thing will...
%
if the average woman wold rather have beauty than brains, it's because the average man can see better than he can think. - gregory benford
%
If the cap fits, your head's the right size
%
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, then what is the definition of practice?
%
If the Devil is the God of baser things, I dare you to hit a home run.
%
If the religious are good for god, does that means the rest of us are good for nothing?
%
If there really is an omnipotent God, It's fine with me putting this sticker here.
%
If there's an almighty god who's not a failure, the one you've been hearing about could only be an impostor. But that only makes sense if you're sane, and as saint paul amply demonstrated, sanity is overrated.
%
If there's one thing she cannot stand, it's anything.
%
if there was no money, we would all be rich.
%
If the universe is at any time what you say it is, then say.
%
If the world seems to be getting smaller, your stupidity is increasing
%
"If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about the answers" Pynchon
%
If they were unjust, people would do something about it.
%
If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower.
%
if this is the best of all possible worlds, what are the others like ? - voltaire
%
If this was a movie, would you be a character in it? Or just an extra?
%
If two persons always share the same opinion,
%
if u believed me. u would be scared
%
If vegetarians eat vegetables, I guess that makes me a humanitarian.
%
If voting actually worked then it would be against the law
%
if voting could change the system, it would be against the law.
%
If we'd been born where they were born and taught what they were taught, we would believe what they believe.
%
If Wishes Were Fishes We'd All Cast NEts
%
if wishes were fishes, What the hell did I have for Lunch?
%
If you act like a dumbshit, they'll treat you like an equal.
%
if you are happy and you know it - wipe your tears
%
If you are immortal, I will eat you.
%
If you are not a part of disillusion, you're a part of the problem
%
if you aren't a monkey wrench yet, you still have evolving to do
%
If you aren't confused, you're wrong.
%
if you aren't political your personal life should be exemplary
%
If you aren't thinking, stop existing.
%
If you aren't worried, you aren't paying attention.
%
If you are pissed off, frustrated, annoyed and confused, congratulations. You are about to learn something.
%
if you ARE READING THIS YOU ARE STILL ASLEEP
%
If you are sitting, just sit.  If you are walking, just walk.  Above all, don't wobble.
%
If you are sitting, just sit. If you are walking, just walk. Above all, don't wobble.
%
If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning.
%
If you are worried, you aren't paying attention.
%
If you bang your head against a brick wall long enough, do the colors of the pot and the kettle change so that they look different?
%
If you believe in solipsism, you are not alone.
%
If you believe that, I wonder what you'll believe when your eventually convinced its a lie.
%
If you can read this, I love you.
%
if you can read this thank your mother for having sex
%
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU MUST BE THIS TALL
%
If you can read this you must have magical powers.
%
If you can read this, you're in range.
%
If you can read this, you're not drinking enough poison
%
If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
%
If you can this.... you can read
%
If you can't laugh at yourself, then others will do the laughing for you.
%
if you can't leave your mark give up
%
If you can't see the fnords, they can't eat you.
%
If you can't write history, write the future.
%
If you didn't descend from apes, why are you constantly flinging shit?
%
If you disobey, they will take away your iPods.
%
If you disobey, we will increase funding for the Entertainments.
%
If you do it, want it.
%
If you do not change your direction, you may end up where you are heading.
%
If you do not expect the unexpected, you will not find it; for it is hard to be sought out and difficult.
%
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
%
If you don't control your mind, someone else will.
%
If you dont know how much is '2+2', but knows that '7' is closer than 'green', than you have the answer and just don't know it.
%
If you don't take control of your mind, your mind will take control of you.
%
if you don't think you should be reading this,
%
If you don't want to take one in the head, stop acting like a zombie
%
If you do that you have a chance of dying
%
If you feel like you've got to lead, at least get out of my way.
%
If you fuck the system without protection something nasty is bound to happen.
%
If you hadn't seen this, it wouldn't exist.
%
If you have a brain, listen to it. If you don't, follow the rules.
%
if you have many desires your life will be interesting
%
If you have never contemplated killing all of your friends with an axe, then you are not taking enough drugs. If you actually did the deed, then someone is coming for you ...
%
If you have no choice in the matter, that's your choice.
%
If you have OCD, read this sentence again.
%
If you have to ask, you're not allowed to know.
%
If you hit a man over the head with a fish, he'll have a headache for a day.  But if you teach a man to hit himself over the head with a fish, he'll have headaches for the rest of his life.
%
If you hit a man over the head with a fish, he'll have a headache for a day. But if you teach a man to hit himself over the head with a fish, he'll have headaches for the rest of his life.
%
If you jump off a bridge, would you do it too?
%
If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting.
%
if you live simply there is nothing to worry about
%
If you'll read this, what else do you waste your time on?
%
if you look closely, you'll see what I'm making you look for
%
If you meet a man with a gun in the road, hide your Buddhahood.
%
If you meet John Galt on your path, kill him
%
If you meet the Buddha on the road, convert him.
%
If you meet the Gouda on the road, grill it.
%
if you need further help try reading the aidrocsiD aipicnirP backwards
%
If you only want to go 500 miles, can you begin with a halfstep?
%
If you outlaw guns then only outlaws will have guns
%
IF YOU PROMISE TO BEHAVE YOU WILL TAKE YOUR SPIRIT TO THE GRAVE (Yap Papaya)
%
If you put all the economists in a line, they still wouldn't reach a conclusion.
%
If you rape a prostitute, is it shoplifting?
%
If you're bored, you're boring.
%
If you're not confused, you're ignorant.
%
If you're not living on the edge
%
if you're not part of the problem you're part of the problem.
%
If you're not part of the solution or the problem, then you're a pawn.
%
If you're not part of the solution then you are part of the precipitate.
%
If you're not part of the solution, you're probably part of the solute.
%
If you're so special, why aren't you dead?
%
If you're the answer, what was the question?
%
If you're too old to play, you're doomed.
%
If you're trying to choose between two theories and one gives you an excuse for being lazy, the other one is probably right.
%
If your face were a tree, it would be different.
%
If your thoughts aren't original, they're not really yours, are they?
%
if you see buddha on the road, give him a doughnut.
%
If you see the Buddha on the road, please call 911.
%
If you stand on this spot long enough, you will see some very strange things.
%
if you take everything out of the inside you end making a new inside
%
If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it.
%
If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.
%
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
%
If you think there's an answer to life, you're thinking too hard
%
if you think this line is clever, you should check what i wrote on the back of the toilet pot
%
If you think you Cain, you might be Abel
%
if you think you're wrong, you're probably right.
%
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.
%
If you understand what you're doing, you're not learning anything
%
If you've read this, it's already too late.
%
If you want it, do it.
%
If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission
%
If you want to be a Raelet, you gotta let Ray.
%
If you want to see yourself in action, record your dreams.
%
If you want to think independently, you must imitate me.
%
If you were a zombie, I'd cry when i kill you
%
If you were everyone but one person i would listen to everyone else.
%
If you were looking for a sign, this is it.
%
If you were really thinking outside of the box, you'd be asking why it's a box you have to think outside of.
%
"If you were taught that elves caused rain, every time it rained, you'd see the proof of elves."
%
If you were to clone yourself, then have sex with that clone, would it be masturbation or incest?
%
If you won't shut the hell up, go watch TV so it can shut you the hell up.
%
I get insulted by ads telling me I could dress better. The CIA never tells me that, and you know why? Because they can actually see me.
%
I GET IT!
%
Ignorance can be cured -- but stupid is forever.
%
Ignorance can be cured--but stupid is forever.
%
Ignorance is bliss the best you can hope for
%
IGNORANCE IS EVERYWHERE
%
ignorance is knowledge
%
Ignorance isn't free!
%
Ignorance knows no boundaries.
%
IGNore fnords
%
ignoring enemies is the best way to fight
%
Ignoring politics won't make it disappear.
%
i got lonely and made love to my printer, but now i cant get lmnop of my wiener.
%
"I guess the joke's on me," she said
%
I hated popular things before hating popular things got popular.
%
I hate myself to sleep at night
%
I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs -- like customs officials.
%
I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs--like customs officials.
%
I hate prejudiced people.
%
I hate the very thought of the thought of you
%
i hate to break it to you but your mother is not a virgin
%
I hate you all, that is why you suffer so.
%
I... have become... comfortably numb
%
I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT AND THAT WHICH I DON'T HAVE I WILL COMPENSATE UNTIL I HAVE THAT , UNLESS SOMEONE WILL GIVE ME SOMETHING TO COMPENSATE THE REASON WHY I DON'T HAVE WHAT I WANT ! SO I HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT !
%
I have found a truth.
%
I have nothing to declare, except my genius.
%
I haven't lost my mind; it's back up on tape somewhere.
%
I haven't slept for ten days - that would be too long
%
I have seen the truth, and it didn't make sense!
%
I have wrestled with death. It is the most unexciting contest you can imagine.
%
I hear music!
%
I hope to god that when I die, people will make vile jokes about ME.
%
I... I believe in love
%
I intend to live forever or die trying.
%
"i" is an inversion of the absolute "!"
%
i is imaginary.
%
i just changed the world
%
I just hijacked your brain. You can have it back at the end of this sentence.
%
I just like to say quark, quark, quark, quark, quark, quark...
%
I just love the way you hate
%
I just talked with Jesus with my Ouija board, he told me to tell you "Sup"
%
I just walk right through the door...
%
I Just Want It To Be Over
%
I know a guy who's *so* emo, even the emo kids tell him to "get over it!"
%
I know of a counterexample, so let's revise the rule.
%
I know the road, I know where it goes; that's why I'm going so slow...
%
I know where I came from -- but where did all you zombies come from?
%
I know you, and I know your game...
%
I know you can explain everything, but can you predict anything?
%
I know your secret.
%
I like.
%
I like this one. It's dense.
%
I like winter.  I like the cold.  I like the sound of flowers dying.
%
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
%
I like you, Sali.  That's why I'm going to kill you last.
%
I live like this 'cuz I like it; I've seen too much to pretend
%
I'll be back.
%
I'll get all of you someday.  I'll wipe out your whole family.
%
I'll get all of you someday. I'll wipe out your whole family.
%
I'll heal your wounds, I'll set you free; I'm Jesus Christ on ecstasy
%
I'll let god decide whether god exists or not.
%
illness is a state of mind
%
Illusion is a revolutionary weapon
%
I lost My mood ring and I don't know how to feel about it.
%
I love my tribe.
%
I love the absolution of all jocks and preps -- Skate or die!!!
%
I love the absolution of all jocks and preps--Skate or die!!!
%
I love you.
%
I'm a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from man.
%
I'm a Fun Guy from Yuggoth.
%
Imagine a world without Religion.
%
Imagine that I were you. What would you do?
%
Imagine the unimaginable
%
I make a living off of saying badass shit
%
I'm already against the next war.
%
I'm already fighting the next war.
%
I'm always having premonitions way too late.
%
I managed to sneak up behind you while you were reading this.
%
I'm an anarchist and I vote!
%
I'm a solipsist, I don't see why other people aren't that way...
%
I may have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them.
%
I'm better than you.
%
I'm done counting statistics.
%
I'm fond of children -- except for boys.
%
I'm fond of children--except for boys.
%
I'm in this for the money.
%
I'm just a box in a cage.
%
I'm just a revved up youth on a thrill-kill rampage.
%
I'm kickass...
%
I'm looking for a cynical girl
%
Immorality: The morality of those who are having a better time.
%
Immune to beatification, but not to beating
%
I'm not afraid of heights, its depths that get me.
%
I'm not applying for the fourth dimension.
%
I'm not as think as you stoned I am.
%
I'm not dead.
%
I'm not dead yet!
%
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying a delicious creampie.
%
I'm not sure of what I should do -- when every thought I'm thinking of is you
%
I'm not wearing any underwear
%
I'm on thought rations
%
Impeach the constitution
%
Impressive; but how big's your dick?
%
impulsive decisions are adventurous decisions.
%
I'm sorry, did I assassinate your penguin?
%
I'm sorry, I become inaudible when I am shy.
%
"I'm sorry... my wife has no inner monologue"
%
I'm still trying to find pricing for billboard space.
%
I'm the one from the registry office.
%
I'm trying... very trying.
%
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as long as a week sometimes to make it up.
%
I must look like a dork.
%
I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.  Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.
%
Im With (Biased Individual)
%
I'm with intelligent --->
%
In an infinite universe, even nothing is possible.
%
In a perfect world, you and I probably wouldn't exist. So let's not hope for one.
%
In a society that has abolished all adventures, the only adventure left is to abolish society.
%
In a world this absurd the sane man realizes that he has no grasp on reality.
%
in case of confusion, don't blame me for telling you to be confusing me, you are confusing me !
%
in case of duplicates, you should delete one copy?
%
In case of Emergency, Break Class.
%
In case of fire, burn.
%
In civilized life, where the happiness, and indeed almost the existence, of man depends so much upon the opinion of his fellow men, he is constantly acting a studied part.
%
In-con-CEIvable!
%
I need someone real bad.  Are you real bad?
%
I need someone real bad. Are you real bad?
%
In empty spaces I twist and talk, and come down with the roar of thunder
%
I never met a repo man who didn't do speed.
%
I never remember a face, but I always forget a name.
%
I never thought paperweights were useful until I opened my window
%
I never told the truth, so I can never tell a lie
%
In every destructive impulse, there is also a creative one.
%
Infect Yourself.
%
In fighting amongst the slaves makes owning the slaves easier.
%
Infinity multiplied by zero leaves us nothing but hope.
%
In five years time, you will be dead and a stranger with your memories will inhabit your body. Don't worry, in ten years they'll be dead too.
%
Information so powerful you actually use less!
%
In here we're all anemic.
%
inheritance must be abolished
%
In Iraq you are a terrorist
%
Initiation is never over.
%
Initiative comes to those who wait.
%
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
%
In my world poo taste sweet.
%
Innocence is just another word for Ignorance.
%
Innocence Proves Nothing.
%
[Insert Poignant Statement Here]
%
[insert witty meme here]
%
inside a bathroom stall:
%
Insolence is the new revolutionary weapon.
%
Instant opinion:
%
Institutions will try to preserve the problem to which they are the solution.
%
Instructions on a fool proof plan
%
Instructions on a fool proof plan: step one, build a better idiot
%
Intelligence should never be multiplied into the realm of the truly arbitrary
%
in the absence of choice and knowledge, cultures often turn to religion. - dan simmons
%
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
%
In the Church, some men put on priestly robes to devote themselves to spreading the message of Christ just as other men do so at the prospect of sexually exploiting vulnerable children; likewise with the state. Some men and women become police officers in the hope of protecting the innocent and upholding the law while others do so to hit people with sticks and extort drugs or sexual favours from the victims of the state.
%
In the end, it all comes down to moving some muscles
%
In the end. there's a period.
%
In the event of an emergency, celebrate!
%
In the event of an emergency, we will always remember 9-11.
%
In the event of confusion: stop, think and die.
%
In the future, only the crowds are alone.
%
In the guise of noise, he receives a clarifying signal
%
In the long run we are all dead.
%
In the not too distant future, next Sunday A.D....
%
In this world there are winners and there are losers. Then of course there are the others, who comprise the majority.
%
In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it.
%
In under 100 years, you will be dead.
%
Invent a problem
%
I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don't know.
%
I once waxed the floors of a nursing home, pulled off all the rubber feet on the walkers, and yelled "FIRE!"
%
I only kill to know I'm alive.
%
I only live about ten percent in this reality.
%
"I only live about ten percent in this reality."  "So where's your summer cottage?"
%
I participate
%
I play Russian roulette in my head every day
%
iPods are made of people!
%
I pooped in the urinal on my birthday.
%
I prefer to think of them as the Ten Suggestions.
%
I promise... Or not.. Or do... Whatever.
%
I puked here
%
I really hope Kubrick did direct the moon landing, because that means there's footage of him screaming at a tear-strewn Buzz Aldrin.
%
I regret to inform you that you have been replaced with a robot. Please proceed to the nearest execution box.
%
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
%
I remember when all of you were semen.
%
irony is too mainstream for me
%
"Irrational" is the new "heretical."
%
I salivate at the sight of mittens.
%
I saw what you did just now
%
is discordianism a joke or a religion? what's the difference?
%
I see incipient boredom in the faces of all around me. woe is them! Especially that loser in my mirror. no way is that me...
%
I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle.
%
I see what you did there.
%
I see you're the brains of the operation.
%
... is exhibited in the radical endosemic character of the sign as such.
%
I shaved a message even more interesting than this one on the back of your head
%
I shit you not.
%
ISIS ISIS ISIS, RA RA RA!
%
Is it just me or are all uncles either really cool, or child molestors?
%
Is it mercy if it means misery for another?
%
is Joe apart of Nixon's Plumbers Union?
%
Isn't it obvious? We destroy the universe with quantum computers, therefore creating the universe!
%
"Isn't that how Shamanism works?"
%
I started to correct my mistakes, but realized what I was doing in time.
%
Is there an officer, problem ?
%
is there someone standing behind me?
%
is this a stupid question?
%
Is this enough validation for your insecurities?
%
Is this really worth it?
%
I SUPPORT MORE TROOPS THAN YOU.
%
i support the right to say stupid shit.
%
I SUPPORT THE WAR, JUST NOT THE TROOPS
%
I suspect God of being a leftist intellectual.
%
Is "who knows" a rhetorical question?(?)
%
I take a little solace in the fact that everyone who uses the term 'sheeple' learned it from someone else.
%
I take my comedy seriously, and my seriousness humorously.
%
I take part; you take part; he takes part; we take part; you all take part; they profit.
%
it can be helpful to keep going no matter what
%
It can't rain all the time
%
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room-temperature.
%
It doesn't matter what you do. you still die.
%
It feels great to wake up and not know what day it is, doesn't it?
%
It happened to you too
%
It has been said that nothing is impossible; yet there are many people doing nothing every day.
%
I think all any of us really wants is connection, and I think as a culture we've somehow fooled ourselves into thinking there's exactly one person in the world who can give it to us.
%
I think it's safe to say that Dali fucking called it.
%
I think the Government likes you, he's looking at you.
%
i think, therefore i am an anarchist.
%
i think therefore i think i am
%
I think the terrorists just won.
%
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
%
I think you had better start lining your hat with tinfoil.
%
it is a gift to the world not to have babies
%
it is a miracle you have survived this long
%
It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
%
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
%
It is better to have loved and lost than to have just lost.
%
It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
%
It is better to learn to embrace the darkness than to waste electricity turning on all the lights and making them explode.
%
It is better to live on your feet than to die on your knees.
%
It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.  It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning.  It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
%
It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion. It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
%
It is difficult to repair a watch while falling from an airplane.
%
It is easier to be critical than correct.
%
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It is easier to find a man who is true to his nature than true to his beliefs.
%
It is forbidden to forbid.
%
It is happening again.
%
It is hard for me to find the right thing to say when I find myself in a room full of cockroaches.
%
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
%
it is hard to keep caring, but impossible to stop.
%
it is heroic to try to stop time
%
It is impossible to love and to be wise.
%
it is man's fate to outsmart himself
%
It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs.
%
It is no good for men to get all they wish to get.
%
It is not down on any map; true places never are.
%
It is not enough merely to succeed: one's friends must also fail.
%
It is not meet to act and speak like men asleep.
%
It is not the death of the government but rather the death of it's people that destroys freedom
%
It is not the horror of war that troubles me, it is the unseen horrors of peace
%
It is now safe to turn off your government
%
It isn't pessimism, it's realism.
%
It isn't the fall that kills the child, it is the splattering of the brain against the inside of the skull.
%
It is only too easy to catch people's attention by doing something worse than anyone else has dared to do it before.
%
It is only when you lose everything you will be free to do anything
%
it is probable that more humans exist in the past than in the future. but it is more probable that where humans cease to exist they begin to be something else entirely
%
It is the apocalypse. Do you know where your laxatives are?
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It is what it is and it aint what it aint. if it was what it aint, then it aint what it was - ryan dobson
%
it is what it is, but suffering is optional...
%
It is what it is, is it not? it is not.
%
It is what it is, is it not? it is not. What is it?
%
It might be worth it.
%
It only gets weirder from here!
%
It really is just a jump to the left.
%
"IT'S 2012: DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR GODS ARE?"
%
it's a headless blunder
%
It's all been done before.
%
It's all in the mind, ya know.
%
It's all or nothing. Accept no substitute!
%
It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.
%
It's always easier to just fall than to try to climb.
%
It's always today.
%
its a nameless dirt road that leads to the mother- lode, it's not even a path it's just the thinnest part of the grass
%
It's an Elder Thing -- you wouldn't understand.
%
It's an Elder Thing--you wouldn't understand.
%
It's an IBM, it's got an excuse.
%
It's a trap!
%
It's a very funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
%
it's better to be a good person than a famous person
%
it's better to be lonely than to be with inferior people
%
it's better to be naive than jaded
%
It's better to light a candle than to curse the dark
%
it's better to study the living fact than to analyze history
%
It's bread and circuses, not bread, health, shelter, dignity and circuses
%
It's called EVIL, kid.
%
it's crucial to have an active fantasy life
%
It's easy to believe in Providence when your side is winning.
%
It seems safe to say that significant discovery, really creative thinking, does not occur with regard to problems about which the thinker is lukewarm.
%
its funny cause its true
%
It's getting worse, isn't it?
%
It's good to be the King.
%
It's hard being yourself while everybody is watching.
%
it's important to stay clean on all levels
%
it's just an accident that your parents are your parents
%
It's later than you think.
%
It's never too late to start.
%
It's nigh on time I started using this phrase.
%
It's not a benefit unless you use it.
%
it's not an afterlife; it's an afterthought.
%
It's not a real protest if you didn't get arrested.
%
its not. but maybe
%
It's not for you or I, Carruthers; nor for the regiment: it's for the Empire.
%
it's not good to hold too many absolutes
%
It's not lies if we know the truth.
%
It's not that life is too short, it's that death is too long.
%
It's not that they die, but that they die like sheep.
%
It's now
%
It's no wonder truth is stranger than fiction; fiction has to make sense.
%
It's ok that you don't know.
%
It's one thing to see death coming at the hands of your own creation. Oedipus and his father. Baron Frankenstein and his monster. William Henry Gates and Windows '09.
%
IT'S ONLY A JOKE UNTIL "THEY" GET THE PUNCHLINE
%
It's only due to modern technology that you can be as pleasingly plump as you are.
%
It's only illegal if you get caught.
%
it's on purpose that i live a purposeless life.
%
It's painful to suffer the bosses; it's even stupider to pick them.
%
It's quite easy to reason logically and still be wrong.
%
Its the penultimate countdown.
%
It's the quiet ones you've got to watch. Listening to them is pointless.
%
It's time to climb down off the cross, use the wood to build a bridge, and GET OVER IT!
%
It's time to make yourself proud- and everyone else a little nervous.
%
It's too late; you're part of it now.
%
It's true what they say about women. It's an irregular plural.
%
It's your fault we're cheating.
%
It's yuor pet hate.
%
It takes two to make a bastard.
%
It took The Digital Revolution to make selling cans of air profitable.
%
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
%
It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.
%
It would be absurd to leave the Suez Canal and the Panama Canal to the unfettered control of the populations through whose territory they pass.
%
It would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids and their fucking dog!
%
It would seem that no matter how you slice it, it still comes up Velveeta.
%
i used to be religious, but then i discovered hotdogs.
%
I used to be self-actualized, now I'm just confused.
%
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
%
Ivana used to be Donald's trompe l'oeil.
%
I've always maintained that one should never tangle with anything that has more teeth than the Osmond family.
%
I've come a long way since I've believed in anything
%
I've given up the search for reality; now I'm just looking for a good fantasy.
%
I've got 99 problems, and my '9' key being stuck is 9 of them.
%
I've got an overload of bottomless thought right here in my left fist
%
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
%
I've heard it said that beliefs are like assholes; everybody has one. That being said, I wish to inform you all, that my asshole, is the one true asshole!
%
I've run out of things to say.
%
I've seen how adults act. I think I'd rather act like a child
%
I've seen the future and I leave it all behind
%
I waited and waited and you never came. It's over.
%
I wanna cast magic missile at the darkness!!!
%
I wanna reach up and touch the sky; I wanna touch the sun but I don't wanna fry
%
I want this statement to be false.
%
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers.
%
I want to exist, therefore I am thinking.
%
I want your money back.
%
I wasted this life on the Bodhisattva Promise, and all i got was YUO!
%
I will never lie to you.
%
I wish I could go home right now; there is nothing to do here.
%
i wish i had tried.
%
'I wish you could hear my voice the way I hear it.', Murtaza Rai
%
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
%
I won't stop until I get to Normal
%
I would have you know, that I am much bigger in real life.
%
I wouldn't know how to act if I weren't in trouble.
%
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
%
I wrote on a wall. Take that, society!
%
Jake liked his women how he liked his kiwi fruit; firm yet yielding, sweet yet tart, and covered with short fuzzy brown hair.
%
Je suis un chou-fleur sous un echequier enorme.
%
Jesus died for your sensei.
%
Jesus is 6.
%
Jesus' love for you is like a berserker.
%
Jesus loves me, but he can't stand you.
%
Jesus loves war!
%
Jesus loves you.  Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
%
Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
%
Jesus made a good profit
%
Jesus may save, but my chippy delivers!
%
Jesus was a Buddhist
%
Jesus was an Arab Jew
%
Jesus was a profit.
%
Jesus was a reverse necrophiliac: he died and got a rise out of it.
%
jesus was a roman mole
%
j.m. barrie was an inncocent
%
JOEY!  JOEY!  JOEY THE LEMUR!
%
John was a quiet gentleman who liked to work in the garden, read literary works, and devour kittens.
%
Join the Cthulhu Corps; it's not just a job, it's a higher position under an elder god.
%
Join the revolution today, don't die tomorrow.
%
JUMPIN' JESUS ON A POGO STICK!
%
Just as Schopenhauer predicted, absolutely nothing is happening.
%
Just because I conflict myself doesn't mean I'm right.
%
Just because it's common sense doesn't mean it's true.
%
Just because it's counter culture doesn't mean it's true
%
Just because it's not wrong doesn't make it right.
%
Just because you are not paranoid doesn't mean they are not coming to get you.
%
just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not after you
%
Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
%
Just because you wake up, doesn't mean you have to stop dreaming.
%
just believing something can make it happen
%
Just conform, it's safer that way.
%
Just do it.
%
Just give up and go crazy.
%
just one pill away from the koo-koo's nest, aren't we?
%
Just wait until the invisible hand of the market fingers *YOU*!
%
Just what we need, more squirrel's with machine guns
%
Keep quiet about this.
%
Keep reaching for that fruit, monkey!
%
keep something in reserve for emergencies
%
Keep taking the right path and you'll eventually go left, so go crazy! rebel now and have a happy retirement!
%
Keep up and be ahead
%
keep your eyes open
%
Keep your hands to yourself or you won't be allowed to have them.
%
Keep your mouth shut, bugs are about.
%
KICK NADS. KICK NADS NOW.
%
Kill em' ALL, AND LET RAPTOR JESUS SORT EM OUT.
%
killing is unavoidable but nothing to be proud of
%
Kill time before it kills you!
%
Kill two birds with one stone.  Feed the homeless to the hungry.
%
Kill two birds with one stone. Feed the homeless to the hungry.
%
Kill your Idle
%
Kill Your Idols.
%
Kill your idols before they kill you
%
kill your idols befor they kill you
%
Kill your imagination.
%
KING KONG DIED FOR YOUR SINS
%
Kissing a stranger and receiving a slap is better than arriving home in safe routine and wondering what could have been.
%
Klein bottle for sale.  Inquire within.
%
Klein bottle for sale. Inquire within.
%
Knock yourself out.
%
Knowing is hard.
%
knowing yourself lets you understand others
%
know it's naught!
%
knowledge should be advanced at all costs
%
Know: Purchase necessary.
%
Kryten, unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit!
%
labor is a life-destroying activity
%
lack of charisma can be fatal
%
La-la la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la!
%
Language is speaking you.
%
lass mich arzt, ich bin durch!
%
Last time I was stoned, I tried to eat an airport.
%
Later today, look for an opportunity to meet your future self
%
Laugh
%
Laugh, and the world ignores you.  Crying doesn't help either.
%
Laugh, and the world ignores you. Crying doesn't help either.
%
Laugh at this sentence, please.
%
Laugh, even if you are screaming inside. Smile because the world doesn't care if you feel like crying.
%
Laugh for 10-15 mins or until hysterically screaming
%
Laughter is never inappropriate.
%
Laughter is the most effective form of terrorism.
%
Laws make criminals.
%
Laziness is a virtue.
%
Lead Ashtray
%
Leadership means taxes
%
Leap before you look
%
Learning isn't the same thing as being taught.
%
Learn to Dis-earn
%
Learn with other people errors, you can't do all of them personally.
%
Leave me the hell alone!
%
Lego my Ego
%
leisure time is a gigantic smoke screen
%
Less is a possibilty
%
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
%
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
%
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
%
Let's all get together and throw flingbobs
%
"Let's all take a stand against activism!"
%
Let's be cruel!
%
Let's go stomp those weirdies for Jesus!
%
Let's please save all of the monsters from certain (and uncertain) death!
%
Let us prey
%
levity sucks.
%
Levity Sucks!
%
Liberals don't believe they deserve anything they own; conservatives think they're entitled to everything they've stolen.
%
Liberty was that thing you lost when you "forgot" to vote because you took the wrong turn off the interstate and couldn't be arsed to turn around and go back, thirty seconds out of your way.
%
Liberty was that thing you lost when you had the opportunity to protest the bullshit Patriot Acts, the warrantless wiretapping, and the fact you know your neighbor's sister's boyfriend has been in trouble with the law only because his name is "Abdul."
%
Liberty was that thing you lost when you relished being a dumb American rather than an informed world inhabitant.
%
Liberty was that thing you lost while you were scratchin' your balls on the couch and watching the latest "America's Got Talent!" episode.
%
Liberty was that thing you lost while you were spending $10 in gas, to drive to the Circle K to buy a $2.50 64-oz. soda.
%
Life comes at you fast, if you're lucky.
%
Life -- do you grok it?
%
Life has no rehearsals, only performances.
%
Life is a game of bridge -- and you've just been finessed.
%
Life is a hard life.
%
Life is a joke - death is the punchline
%
Life is an online game and I rolled a shitty Paladin.
%
Life is a perpetual instruction in cause and effect.
%
life is a shitty videogame, with great graphics.
%
Life is but a meme within a meme.
%
Life is just one non-sequitur after fruitbat.
%
Life is like a hair on a toilet seat.You always get pissed off in the end.
%
Life is like light bulbs. only the walrus knows why.
%
Life is like pudding; soft and squishy...
%
Life is not a free show...the price is life.
%
Life is not only for you.
%
Life is not rhetorical.
%
Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not too much imagination.
%
Life is one big theatre stage, only without an audience.
%
Life is only one damn thing after another.
%
Life is ours.  We live it our way.
%
Life is ours. We live it our way.
%
Life is price less.
%
life is sacred until 18-vote no on abortion yes on cannon fodder
%
life is short..
%
Life is sometimes like a pizza round: hot, greasy, and delivered by a guy named 'Tony'.
%
Life is the art of avoiding it's own conclusion.
%
Life is the leading cause of world fatalities
%
Life is the stuff that happens to you while you're making other plans.
%
Life is Too Short to Rush
%
Life is truly quite absurd, but with a little effort we could make it completely ridiculous.
%
Life's a gamble: are you just playing for pennies?
%
Life's a laugh and then die.
%
Life's a laugh and then you cry.
%
Life's a Whatever, and then you... maybe
%
Life size models of Cthulhu, on sale now!
%
Life's short, Fail Hard!
%
Life's tough, ain't it?
%
Like many of the finer things in life, sex often comes with a side of fries.
%
Like the Universe, this sentence cannot be stricken from ever existing.
%
Lions: 5, Christians: 0.
%
Listen to the noise.
%
Listen to what the person next to you is saying to you. Then continue the conversation in Rhymes!
%
listen when your body talks
%
Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.
%
Live as if something actually depends upon your actions.
%
Live fast, live slow, die anyway.
%
Live in privacy; die in public.
%
Live. Learn. Leap..Love. ....Keep
%
Live on Earth as though you were colonizing Mars.
%
Live without dead time [time of boredom, time at work] - enjoy without chains.
%
live your life such that if you wrote your biography nobody would believe it
%
Living in the past devalues currency.
%
Living is like holding your breath. if you do it too long you die.
%
Logically, <4 is better than <3.
%
LOL, CONTEXT!
%
lol, marginalized prophets.
%
Lol, reality.
%
Look at me, I'm raising consciousness!
%
Look at the finger!!
%
Look behind you, they're looking behind you.
%
Look for people picking their nose in their car.
%
looking back is the first sign of aging and decay
%
Look out, you're gonna craaash.
%
Looks like someone divided by zero.
%
Look up.
%
Look where all this talking got us, baby.
%
lOVE AND LOYALTY TO A GOVERNMENT IS STOCKHOLM SYNDROME
%
Love as it exists in society is merely the mingling of two fantasies and the contact of two skins.
%
Love is a many-splintered thing
%
Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac.
%
Love is the illusion that you are an individual.
%
Love my label like myself
%
Love's as good as soma!
%
love to see it happen
%
love your enemy
%
loving animals is a substitute activity
%
low expectations are good protection
%
LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.
%
Lucifer goes to church.
%
Luck is not a factor. Hope is not a strategy. Fear is not an option.
%
Madness is a fish waiting to be groomed.
%
MAGICK IS REAL!!!*
%
Mail Bombs: My Anti-Drug
%
Make a man a fire and he'll be warm through the night.
%
Make it so!
%
MAKE IT STOP
%
Make like nature: select all.
%
Makes little sense when applied to its quotation
%
"Makes little sense when applied to its quotation" makes little sense when applied to its quotation
%
make sure you get all your daily requirements of violence and miniatures
%
Make up your words.
%
Make weirdness normal.
%
Make your own mistakes, not somebody else's.
%
Making something illegal only makes it illegal.
%
Malpractice makes perfect
%
man created god so that he could win every argument
%
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
%
Mankind has been on a bad trip for a long time now.
%
Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.
%
Man's character is his fate.
%
Man's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's a metaphor?
%
Man steps in with a terminal grin... blue skies turn to grey...
%
manual labor can be refreshing and wholesome
%
Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.
%
Man would sooner have the Void for his purpose than be void of Purpose.
%
Many Tyrants become clowns, but few clowns become tyrants
%
maps, maps, maps, maps, maps, maps, maps, maps, maaaaaaaaaps, wonderful maps...
%
Mars needs women.
%
Mary had a little lamb
%
Mashed potatoes can be your friend.
%
mastarbation is the best way to build and practice your imagination
%
Masturbation is self-improvement.
%
masturbation: not just fun, it's a survival skill.
%
Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!
%
Maximum capacity eight persons.
%
maybe partying will help
%
maybe tomorrow will be even MORE perfect.
%
Maybe you don't because you waste your time thinking you could.
%
Maybe you're a product too
%
May the road rise up and fall on you.
%
May the wind be always at your back...
%
Meanwhile everyone wants to breathe and nobody can breathe and many say, "We will breathe later". And most of them don't die because they are already dead.
%
Measure once, cut twice
%
meet us in orbit
%
Megaton Man on patrol!
%
meme is what a child yells when raising their hand to be chosen
%
Men always generalise
%
Men and women are the worst people on earth.
%
Men are more sentimental than women.  It blurs their thinking.
%
Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking.
%
men are not monogamous by nature
%
Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.
%
Men still remember the first kiss after women have forgotten the last.
%
Mentally Retarded Zen Masters
%
Metallica Still Sucks
%
Michael jackson was killed by the illuminati
%
Mind the malicious gap.
%
Mind your own business, Spock.  I'm sick of your half-breed interference.
%
Minimalism can get pretty tricky.
%
minimalism is about the big picture
%
minimalism is about the details
%
Mission accomplished.
%
Mistakes are at the very base of human thought, embedded there, feeding the structure like root nodules. If we were not provided with the knack for being wrong, we could never get anything useful done. We think our way along by choosing between right and wrong alternatives, and the wrong choices have to be made as often as the right ones. We get along in life this way.
%
Mistakes aren't always regrets
%
MITCHELL!  Even his name says, "Uh, is that a beer?"
%
Mmm.  I forgot about that.
%
Mmm. I forgot about that.
%
Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
%
Moderation is for monks.
%
Moderation is... luke-warm tea, the devils own brew!
%
moderation kills the spirit
%
Mohammed made a good profit
%
Moisten pellets with water to stimulate feeding behavior.
%
Molesting the walls with graffiti will be strictly punished.
%
Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right, they just seem a little weird
%
Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose.
%
Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life.
%
Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
%
MONEY CREATES TASTE
%
'Money doesn't grow on trees?' Yes it does. It's paper.
%
money has no real value. they do not even reflect the planet resources.
%
Money is speech. People are mute.
%
Money is truthful.  When a man speaks of honor, make him pay cash.
%
Money is truthful. When a man speaks of honor, make him pay cash.
%
Money often costs too much.
%
Monogamy is Perverted.
%
monomania is a prerequisite of success
%
morals are for little people
%
mostly you should mind your own business
%
most men secretly hate women, and most women secretly think they deserve it
%
most of what you live is pure imagination : marriage, money, name, nationality, religion, job, etc. all are human inventions.
%
most people are not fit to rule themselves
%
Most people do not know how to behave in a massacre.
%
Most people secretly think they deserve it.
%
Most women secretly hate men, and most men secretly think they deserve it.
%
Mother nature don't give a fuck.
%
mothers shouldn't make too many sacrifices
%
Move within the crowd
%
Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear.
%
Mow Mow Boppa Mow Mow Mow
%
much was decided before you were born
%
My armor is contempt
%
My biology I know.  You I worry about.
%
My biology I know. You I worry about.
%
My, don't we all look _smashing_ in red.
%
My father warned me about men and booze... but he never said anything about women and cocaine.
%
My father was a good woman.
%
My favorite food is squirrel, but I want to fight with glory.
%
My favorite weapon is the look in your eyes
%
My friend Goo has a real time too; she always knows just what to do
%
My god is bigger.
%
My inner child can beat up your inner child.
%
My love... i will find you where ever you are...
%
My moral standing is lying down.
%
my narcissistic STUDpop impregnated your hatriolic automom.
%
My oh my!  Life sure is easier with my new Salad Shooter (R) !
%
My other outlet for my chaotic impulses is YOUR MOM.
%
My pockets went to Distopia
%
My powers are beyond your understanding!
%
My question is simply this: Are you menstruating?
%
myth can make reality more intelligible
%
My whole life is a darkroom, one... big... dark... room.
%
Narrow Mindedness is an awful condition to contract.
%
Nationalism is more pathetic than LARPing.
%
National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity.
%
Nature loves to hide.
%
Nature never deceives us; it is always we who deceive ourselves.
%
Necessity never made a good bargain.
%
Needs keep ahead of percepts
%
Neither God nor master!
%
Nemo me impune lacessit.
%
Never appeal to a man's "better nature".  He may not have one.
%
Never appeal to a man's "better nature". He may not have one.
%
Never ask for anything ... especially from those more powerful than you
%
Never attempt to distract a masturbating gorilla.
%
Never attribute to intelligence that which can be adequately explained by sheer dumb luck.
%
Never eat more than you can lift.
%
NEVER FUCKING PRAY. You don't know what is listening.
%
Never give an inch!
%
Never go up against a Sicilian when death's on the line!
%
Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes, 'cuz by then, he's a mile away, you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever the hell you want to.
%
Never mind that.
%
Never mind. You wouldn't believe me anyway.
%
Never overlook the merely obvious
%
Never reconstruct the indestructible
%
Never sign a contract including any of the phrases "sort of", kind of", or "and stuff".
%
never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you. (unless tribbles are involved)
%
Never trust a cop with a rubber glove.
%
Never trust anyone who talks for a living.
%
never trust someone simply because they tell the truth
%
Never trust translation programs online - they mislead you - happend to me often!
%
Never trust what you read.
%
Never try to convince Anybody. The best way to do so is by talking as convincingly as possible.
%
Never try to outstubborn a cat.
%
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
%
Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
%
"Newfags can't triforce"?
%
Newfags can't triforce
%
Nice computers don't go down...
%
Nice one. You got away with it.
%
Nid yw Cymru ar werth!
%
Nietzsche thought he was the Antichrist or Dionysus, but that was after the syphilis crossed the blood-brain barrier.
%
Nil illegitimo carborundum.
%
no absolutes!
%
No amount of faith can undo a fact
%
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
%
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
%
nobody is in charge
%
Nobody is innocent - life fucks everyone.
%
Nobody is perfect. Trust your government.
%
Nobody likes a paragon of perfection.
%
Nobody was home, but I answered the door anyway.
%
"No Comment" is a comment.
%
No compromise with the enemy, even if they're us
%
No direction is the right direction
%
no drugs are no solution neither.
%
no end finding curious or interesting pages that eat away time, never knowing if that time could be better spent... until you spend it and find out!
%
No forbidding allowed.
%
No girdle ever cured a pregnancy
%
No girdle ever cured a pregnancy.
%
No good deed is left unpunished
%
no good deed will go unpunished!
%
No good plan goes unpunished
%
No hidden agenda in this message here, no sir.
%
No hidden window here.
%
noise can be hostile
%
No, just the nipple-cones, officer, just the nipple-cones.
%
No man is an island, but then no man is a potato salad, either.
%
No man was ever so much deceived by another as by himself.
%
No matter how bad it is, there's always worse.
%
No matter how good it is, there's always better.
%
No matter how much spin, effort, lunch or dinner you give the media, they will not fail to notice whether you have won or lost.
%
No matter how right we are, we always might possibly be wrong.
%
No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.
%
No matter where you are, there you go?  Wait a second.
%
No matter where you are, there you go? Wait a second.
%
No matter where you go, there I am.
%
No matter where you go... there you are.
%
No more lip from you, bub.
%
NO MORE MINDLESS GRAFFITI
%
Non consensual subjective reality can only become concrete when you stop abiding by limitations. Even concrete can be fluid in it's concrete-ness.
%
No one can tell you're faking it, too.
%
No one cares if you lie on the internet.
%
No one gets out alive.
%
No one has died for your sins
%
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
%
No one is stopping you
%
Noone knows our destination.
%
No one noticed.
%
No one will EVER thank you for shuffling along quietly like that.
%
No pain, no pain.
%
No perception leads to self deception.
%
no problem is so big or so complicated that it can't be run away from. - Linus [in 'Peanuts']
%
No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.
%
NO Purchase Necessary.
%
NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
%
No question is so difficult to answer as that to which the answer is obvious.
%
No reason to get excited, the thief, he kindly spoke,
%
No replastering, the structure is rotten.
%
Normal
%
Normal is not the same thing as average.
%
Normality = boring-reality
%
Normality is a luxury
%
normal men have killed perpaps 100,000,000 of their fellow men in the last 50 years.
%
Nostalgia is necrophilia.
%
Not all addicts do drugs.
%
Not all people are human.
%
Not a Restroom
%
No theory has been universally accepted.
%
Nothing bad ever happens if you don't do anything.
%
Nothing changes more constantly than the past; for the past that influences our lives does not consist of what happened, but of what men believe happened.
%
Nothing happens for a reason; when it does, pay attention.
%
nothing is something
%
Nothing is true.  Everything is permitted.
%
Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.
%
Nothing Is true, Everything Is permitted
%
Nothing knits man to man like the frequent passage from hand to hand of cash.
%
Nothing makes an entrance more inviting than a nice pair of knockers.
%
Nothing quite like the feel of something new...
%
Nothing real requires faith.
%
nothing rhymes with poetry.
%
Nothing Serious Ever Happens
%
Nothing so much prevents our being natural as the desire to seem so.
%
Nothing that exists is strange. If it's counter-intuitive, you just need a new intuition.
%
"NOTICE: It is forbidden to notice. Your notice of this notice was noticed. Keep in touch."
%
NOTICE: Your notice of this sign has been noticed and noted. Thank you.
%
not valid without receipt
%
Now Accepting New Patience
%
Now all of us can create our own cattle pens!
%
No weapon is a substitute for zeal.
%
Now is all you have.
%
Now Loading... (on the inside door of the elevator)
%
Now now, don't go starting any revolutions! -the Mgt.
%
Now that you've read this I'll follow you home.
%
Now walk 30 steps southwest.
%
Now you know how Cattle Feel.
%
NO YOU!
%
No you don't understand, see you don't understand...
%
No, you're not a rebel.
%
obama is a nigger. and so am i. all hail eris!
%
Obedience crimes: Thank you for your cooperation.
%
Objectively speaking, you ARE an object. Subjectively speaking, I AM a subject.
%
Objectivity is subjective
%
Obsessive preoccupation with inappropriate goals
%
Obsolete power corrupts obsoletely
%
Occam was never the target of a conspiracy.
%
occasionally principles are more valuable than people
%
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
%
Of course I still love you.  Now stop whining and let me shoot you.
%
Of course I still love you. Now stop whining and let me shoot you.
%
Of course it belongs to me, I'm a communist.
%
Of course it's the murder weapon.  Who would frame someone with a fake?
%
Of course it's the murder weapon. Who would frame someone with a fake?
%
Of course you realize this means war.
%
offer very little information about yourself
%
Often I think I am a special agent of Billy Graham.
%
often you should act like you are sexless
%
Of the limited time in your life, you choose to waste most of it reading stupid memes.
%
OGLUM BAK GiT!
%
Oh, and the walrus was Paul.
%
Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home!
%
Oh dear, I've gone and inflated my ego.
%
Oh for the wings of any bird, other than a battery hen...
%
Oh, fuck!  You did it just like i told you to!
%
Oh, fuck! You did it just like i told you to!
%
Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner...
%
Oh, my God!  ARTHUR, I HAVE POCKETS!
%
Oh, no, not again.
%
"OH NO YOU DID"
%
Oh! sorry, I didn't recognise you with your clothes on.
%
Oh, squirt.
%
Okay, everybody in this room who's telekinetic, raise my hand.
%
Okay, everyone out of the gene pool!
%
Okay now recite the alphabet from 0
%
Okay, something here's really fucked up.
%
Okay, you guys having sex here, let's see some skill rolls!
%
ok, let's be serious for a moment and face it: any kind of vampirism, and i'm thinking of the capitalist kind, is high treason to humankind. we should treat it as such.
%
On a scale of 1 to 4, what are your feelings about the colour green?
%
(on A toilet door) Out of order! Use the stairs.
%
Once, I stood in a queue, pretending to be just like everybody else. And then (without once letting my mask slip) I boarded the bus and travelled home. But when I got home... OH HOW I LAUGHED.
%
Once you leave this room, will anything change?
%
On Earth there is no reckoning.
%
One Billion "Hope Dollars"! Small Change we can believe in!
%
One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.
%
One can repair ignorance. Stupidity is a point of view.
%
One day you will die; it could be tomorrow, unexpectedly and painfully. So why not buy yourself something nice?
%
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Flu Fish
%
One is the only quantity both complete and consistent.
%
one love
%
One man's bomb is another man's bum
%
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
%
One repays a teacher poorly if they remain a student - Nietzsche
%
One should cry to find purpose and laugh to forget it.
%
One should not act and speak as if one were asleep.
%
One who defends those around him may be brave, but is also stupid. I wished I was stupid, sometimes.
%
Only Americans are real humans
%
Only antisocial behaviour can be effective against society.
%
Only a true artist can fail to draw a perfect circle.
%
Only happy people get to be happy.
%
Only idiots don't point out the common sense because it is common sense to point out the obvious when
%
Only rats stay bought
%
Only the insane prosper
%
Only the lavender prairie dogs know the key to unlock the secret of the tumble-weeds.
%
only the robots are on time anymore
%
Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
%
ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE!
%
Only you can prevent forest fires.
%
On the left side of my brain, there is nothing right, on the Right side of my brain, there is nothing left.
%
Ooooooeee!  They sure serve up them four-year-olds good, don't they?
%
opacity is an irresistible challenge
%
Open horse fucking
%
Open your eyes! No, you were right, better keep those fuckers closed.
%
Open your mind, but be sure to carry an umbrella.
%
Open your mind to closed-mindedness.
%
operating under the illusion
%
Operatives are standing by.
%
opossums are death dealing devices and that's all i'm going to say on the matter.
%
Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.
%
Opportunity doesn't knock
%
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
%
Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
%
Optimism is easy if you ignore everything and drink a lot.
%
Ordinarily, I'd take you in my court and try you and hang you. But if you've got money for whiskey, I guess we can dispense with those proceedings.
%
Orwell wasn't right... he was dead on.
%
Orwell was right.
%
Our cause is a secret within a secret, a secret that only another secret can explain; it is a secret about a secret veiled by a secret.
%
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
%
Our depression du jour is from a loss of confidence
%
OUR DREAMS, THEIR NIGHTMARE
%
Our god's the FUN god!  Our god's the SUN god!  Ra!  Ra!  Ra!
%
Our god's the FUN god! Our god's the SUN god! Ra! Ra! Ra!
%
OUT OFN ORDER
%
Out of Order- put on something that can't possibly be out of order.
%
out of sight, out of mind - invisible, insane.
%
outside a repository for art: "But . . . is it an art museum?"
%
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.  Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
%
Overall, there was a smell of fried onions.
%
pain can be a very positive thing
%
Pain is an illusion. An illusion that really, really hurts.
%
Pain looks good on other people; that's what they're for.
%
Pain = stupidity
%
Pain unlike pleasure wears no mask.
%
PANTS?
%
Paradox isn't.
%
'Paradox ridicules the sound of irony laughing at you'-
%
Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.
%
Part of me lives in this Universe.
%
Passive aggressive people who leave notes around telling people what to do can go fuck themselves.
%
Pass the pickles.
%
Patriotism is for foreigners
%
Patriotism isn't about being a better citizen, it's about demanding a better country.
%
Pawn Takes king.
%
Pay careful attention to the Tao-Jones Average.
%
Peace is a graveyard.
%
Peanuts are Peanuts
%
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.
%
peer amid the all-seeing eye.
%
Penguin lust!
%
People are blinky
%
people are boring unless they are extremists
%
People are Human.
%
people are nuts if they think they are important
%
People are revolting
%
People don't kill terrorists, guns do: SUPPORT OUR RIFLES!
%
People fear death, and religion is like their 'get out of jail free' card
%
People hate good ideas, and that's why we hate the communists.
%
People humiliating a salami!
%
People in glass houses should've paid more attention to Al Gore
%
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.
%
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.
%
people who don't work with their hands are parasites
%
People who emit Cherenkov radiation make me nervous.
%
People who have not suffered are often insufferable.
%
people who say no just need to be convinced harder
%
People who work get bored when they don't work.
%
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
%
people won't behave if they have nothing to lose
%
Percepi et esse.
%
Perception is nine tenths of the law
%
Personally, I blame society
%
Perversion is a state of mind.
%
Perverts aren't the only ones to molest your kids.
%
Philosophy is masturbation, it achieves hardly anything and won't get you far in life, but it feels good so we do it anyway.
%
Philosophy is the systematic abuse of a terminology specifically designed for that purpose
%
physical culture is second best
%
Pig's in zen...
%
Pink Floyd lied to me?
%
pink is ok, too
%
Plagiarism is necessary; progress implies it.
%
Plan early, plan twice
%
planning for the future is escapism
%
play freebird!
%
playing it safe can cause a lot of damage in the long run
%
Please be silent while your civil rights matrix is reconfigured.
%
please change beliefs
%
Please clean up after your god.
%
Please cue at this point -->
%
Please do not panic. Reality is leaking. Everything will be under control shortly.
%
"Please do not use other door."
%
Please don't care about this sign.
%
"Please feel free."
%
Please go away.
%
Please go back 3 squares
%
Please leave the Communist Party as clean on leaving as you would like to find it on entering.
%
Please litter, landfills are bad for the environment.
%
Please look away immediately.
%
Please panic: everything is under control.
%
Please press any door to continue
%
Please remain calm: All panicking is being taken care of by your locally elected official.
%
Please save the monsters who are getting killed
%
Please stop, it only encourages them.
%
Please use other door.
%
Please use your natural reaction.
%
Plebiscite: Whether we say yes or no, it makes chumps of us.
%
Poetry is in the street.
%
Poking shit with a stick accomplishes nothing, except makes it smell even worse.
%
police no longer have to tell knock-knock jokes
%
Politician, govern thyself.
%
Politicians and diapers should be changed often, and for the same reason
%
Politicians do not rule our lives: a million filing clerks do.
%
Politicians do not rule our lives: a million paper pushers do.
%
Politics, broken down into Latin. Poli meaning many, Tics being blood sucking parisites.
%
Politics has become a game of meaningless, mindless battles, conducted by unscrupulous methods and people, designed to transform even the most serious policy debates into sport.
%
Politics is a strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
%
politics is used for personal gain
%
Poor american christians: trapped between the sin city and the big apple.
%
Popes needed
%
Population Growth does not constitute Human Advancement
%
Portions of the preceding were recorded.  As for the rest of it, I'm very much afraid it was all in your mind.
%
Portions of the preceding were recorded. As for the rest of it, I'm very much afraid it was all in your mind.
%
Pose as a spy, work as a friend.
%
POSTED: Posting posted signs is forbidden, especially for purposes of forbidding hunting or trespassing.
%
Post-modernism means never having to say that you're wrong
%
Post "Warmer" and "Colder" signs around and see if anyone follows them.
%
potential counts for nothing until it's realized
%
Power corrupts.  Absolute power is kinda neat.
%
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.
%
power for those who can fuck it
%
Power to the Imagination.
%
Practice Monopolygamy.
%
practice random acts
%
Preparedness damages resourcefulness.
%
Preserve disorder
%
Pretend this is Reality
%
PRETEND THIS says the one thing that would make you question your beliefs
%
Pretend to be real.
%
Pretty soon you'll get arrested for reading this.
%
private property created crime
%
PRIVATIZE THE IRS! POWER TO THE PEOPLE!
%
problem solver or problem maker
%
Procrastination is the thief of time.
%
Profanity: the single language in which all programmers are expert.
%
Prohibition makes the heart grow fonder.
%
Proletarian revolutions are notably ineffective when the ruling class is composed of gods.
%
Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
%
Proper noun noun proper noun noun verb verb proper noun noun
%
Property doth make cowards of us all
%
Property is theft.
%
Prophets profit.
%
Prop Up The System!
%
Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.
%
Protection when you least expect it
%
PROTECT US FROM WHAT WE WANT
%
Prudence is a rich, ugly old maid courted by incapacity.
%
pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled a bullet out of my chest
%
Pull Gods metaphysical finger.
%
pursuing pleasure for the sake of pleasure will ruin you
%
push yourself to the limit as often as possible
%
Put down mass media hysteria for revolutionary euphoria! Now only $2.99!
%
Pwn free and clear.
%
Q: Can you think for yourself?
%
Quack!
%
Quantum Express: When you absolutely, positively, don't know where it's going or when it needs to be there.
%
Que sera, serotonin.
%
Question Authority -- and the authorities will question you.
%
Question Authority--and the authorities will question you.
%
Question Authority; that's an order!
%
Question...everything?
%
Question lobotomy.
%
Question reality.
%
Quick! Everyone count to zero!
%
Quick! Go home! You're missing your favorite television program!
%
QUICK! PICTURE YOUR GRANDPARENTS HAVING SEX!
%
Quick! What are your last words?!
%
Quick, while no one is looking!
%
Quiet! The ears have walls!
%
Quite content to sit on this fence... quite content, now a little bit older...
%
RAAAIIID!!!???
%
RAGE IS PEACE
%
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
%
raise boys and girls the same way
%
random mating is good for debunking sex myths
%
randy savage died for your sins
%
Rational explanations only trump irrational explanations with other rational people.
%
read banned books
%
Reading is not understanding.
%
Read less, live more.
%
Read out loud.
%
Read this like you would a good book.
%
read this very carefully i will only write this once.
%
Real eyes, realize, real lies.
%
Reality does not give a shit about your opinions
%
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
%
Reality is a work in progress.
%
Reality is a Work In Progress
%
Reality is not a persistent hallucination.
%
Reality is one big conspiracy against faith.
%
Reality is rated R, too.
%
Reality is the Illusion of Reason.
%
Reality is the original Rorschach Test.
%
Reality is the temporary resultant of the struggle between rival gangs of programmers.
%
Reality is unbelievable.
%
Reality lacks discretionary power
%
reality.sys corrupted.  universe halted.  reboot (y/n)?
%
reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)?
%
Reality without drugs would fuck anybody up
%
realize that ignorance is bless
%
really
%
really rugged, ghetto looking graffiti with messages like:
%
really, ya know what we always say,fukem
%
Real punk rockers don't smile.
%
Reason has nightmares of dancing.
%
Reason is the Illusion of Reality.
%
Rebel against this command.
%
Rebels died for your right to obey.
%
rechanneling destructive impulses is a sign of maturity
%
recluses always get weak
%
Recycle your pets
%
Recycle your pets (not mine but it's a classic)
%
redistributing wealth is imperative
%
Reduce Distill Purify Teach
%
reduce humans
%
re-evolution!
%
Refuse to be re-branded.
%
Refuse to be remastered
%
Refuse to be terrorized, people!
%
Refuse to mind the gap.
%
regarding the cross, only the vatican and the queen know the answer... and neither one is telling.
%
Regret and worry should cancel each other out.
%
Reinvent retardation.
%
Rejoin the human race.
%
relativity is no boon to mankind
%
Relax, in the safety of your own delusions, don't do it.
%
Reliance on others is a weakness for the strong, but a strength for the weak.
%
religion causes as many problems as it solves
%
Religion is a man staring at a tree and wondering who is moving the leaves.
%
religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
%
Remember: As a whole we are just a mute a away from asshole
%
Remember: as a whole we are just a silent a away from aswhole
%
-----Remember , everything is possible , except if you can not do it.
%
REMEMBER: KING KONG DIED FOR YOUR SINS
%
Remember: The sky is actually out, not up.
%
Remember the . . . what was it again?
%
Remember to forget sometimes.
%
Remember to lie to your loved ones
%
Remember, we have to get the baby out of the oven today.
%
remember you always have freedom of choice
%
Removal of this wall prohibited by order of government.
%
Remove this flier to signal operatives
%
Remove this sticker after device has successfully camoflagued.
%
Remove your company loyalty genes.
%
Repeat after me: I will think for myself.
%
Repetition is a form of change.
%
repetition is the best way to learn
%
Replacing one silly belief for another doesn't mean you are enlightened.
%
RESIST THIS IMPULSE
%
resolutions serve to ease our conscience
%
Return to this spot at __ o'clock for further information.
%
Revelations will not be televised.
%
Reverend!
%
revolution begins with changes in the individual
%
"Revolution" is the action of moving in a circle; "Freedom" is counter-revolutionary.
%
revolution means going around in circles.
%
Revolution: The act of going around in a circle, eventually winding up back where you started.
%
reward failure, BUY AMERICA
%
Ridicule may lawfully be employed where reason has no hope of success.
%
Right now, someone is having fun without you
%
R.I.P - Habeus Corpus 1782-2006
%
roads less traveled often lead to happier places
%
Robots can Time, are you?
%
Roll again.
%
romantic love was invented to manipulate women
%
Rome wasn't built from a couch.
%
Roots are for vegetables
%
Roses are red, she said, and violents are blue
%
Rose tint my world and keep me safe from the trouble and pain...
%
routine is a link with the past
%
routine small excesses are worse than then the occasional debauch
%
Rub her feet.
%
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strength.
%
Run, comrade, the old world is behind you!
%
run run as fast as you can you cant catch me im the.. oh poo you've got a taser
%
RUN WHILE YUO STILL HAVE LEGS!
%
Run. You're watching you.
%
sacrificing yourself for a bad cause is not a moral act
%
salvation can't be bought and sold
%
salvation is when you stop hoping for it.
%
Sanity is not your most valuable asset.
%
Sanity isn't the survival trait it used to be.
%
Santanism is the practice of sacrificing your children to the false god of economic exponentialism.
%
Sarcasm helps you avoid telling people what you really think of them.
%
Sarcasm is a sign of genius.
%
satanism is a christian's way of becoming enlightened.
%
Satire is over.
%
SAVE THE MUSHROOMS! drop acid
%
Save the whales!  Collect the whole set!
%
Save us from salvation
%
SAVE US FROM WHAT WE WANT!
%
Save yourself FOR the salvation army?
%
Save yourself from the salvation army.
%
Say what you mean and say it mean...
%
Scarcity increases value. Stop carrying phones.
%
Scene and Herd.
%
Schplie!!!! at random
%
Science ain't an exact science with these clowns but, they're getting better.
%
Science is a cult
%
Science is a Matter of Belief
%
scratch'n'sniff
%
Screw Capital! Work creates Wealth! (which means wellness)
%
Second star on the right, and onward 'till dawn
%
Secrecy kills.
%
Secret to long life and prosperity: Don't spin too fast.
%
Secure your future: Declare yourself Jesus while masturbating in public.
%
security makes me nervous
%
Security through Obesity
%
Security Through Obscurity
%
Security without freedom is prison.
%
Sedition doesn't go far enough.
%
Seen one fnord, seen em all.
%
See side panel for exciting recipe ideas.
%
See the fnord, don't fear it.
%
self-awareness can be crippling
%
self-contempt can do more harm than good
%
Self improvement is masturbation
%
selfishness is the most basic motivation
%
Semper Non Sequitur!
%
Sense is made, not born.
%
separatism is the way to a new beginning
%
Seriously, in another second or two, you're going to really hate yourself for having read the entirety of this self-indulgent abortion of a sentence.
%
Seriousness is death
%
sex differences are here to stay
%
Sha-ZAM sirrah!
%
She dropped them back up my bag by the idea.
%
sheep -without them the Sheppard would have no clothes and nothing to eat
%
She has a really opulent body; just ripe for dissecting.
%
She's a virgin child with deviant dreams.
%
She's not your ex, she's already had at least five other exes
%
shhh, did you hear that? that was the sound of your dreams being raped by reality.
%
SHHHHHH. listen.
%
Shh! My common sense is tingling!
%
Shit Floats.
%
Shit happens. Shit happens all at once. The universe doesn't care about good timing.
%
Shit happens. Shit happens all azl once. The universe doesn't care about good timing.
%
Shit sucks, don't it?
%
Shoes for industry!
%
Should we start over?
%
Should we talk about the whether, or not?
%
Should your innocence be established, the department will notify your surviving beneficiaries.
%
Shoving feathers up your butt doesn't make you a chicken
%
Show me a man who knew no pain or suffering as a child, and i'll show you a man who has nothing to contribute to society.
%
Show me three monkeys, and I'll show you a heirarchy.
%
Shut up! Keep walking!
%
Shut up, you are your speech!
%
Sic transeo.
%
*sighs, & /me /slash nick curiositykilledthecat
%
Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes
%
Silence! Some of us are trying to think
%
Simulate yourself
%
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
%
sin is a means of social control
%
Sinister Dexter has a broken spirometer.
%
Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers.
%
Sir, you have tasted two whole worms; you have hissed all my mystery lectures and been caught fighting a liar in the quad; you will leave Oxford by the next town drain.
%
SLACK: Get it while you can.
%
Sleep is nature's way of telling you to go to bed.
%
Slippery when slick
%
slipping into madness is good for the sake of comparison
%
sloppy thinking gets worse over time
%
Small change can often be found under seat cushions.
%
Small minds think alike, too.
%
smash -HERE- to find out
%
SMASH THE STATE OF MIND
%
Smile, and the whole world thinks you're laughing at them.
%
Smile for the camera!
%
Smile. It irritates everyone.
%
Smile or I'll kill you.
%
Smoke fish.
%
SnaKES!  snakES... SnakeS... SnAKes!
%
Social darwinists are evolutionarily unfit.
%
Social norms are for the weak.
%
Society wants people conform, but if all conformed how would society evolve
%
sociopath clowns "deadly but funny"
%
sociopath mimes "silent but deadly"
%
So close, no matter how far... couldn't be much more from the heart.  Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters.
%
Soil isn't a document
%
Solidarity with everyone, against no-one.
%
Solipsists of the world unite.
%
solitude is enriching
%
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
%
Somebody hates you
%
Somebody, somewhere, thinks you are scum.
%
somebody stop me. please.
%
Somebody you spoke to recently is stalking you.
%
Some days it seems like the whole point of everything is just to laugh like a fucking goon.
%
Some farts go poof.
%
Some farts go poop.
%
Some girls are bigger than others.
%
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
%
Someone is having a serious day.
%
Someone knows better than you
%
someone should do something about that
%
someone should really kick the next person that says "we should" IN THE NADS
%
Someone wanted you to see this.
%
Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
%
Some people have a large circle of friends while others have only friends that they like.
%
Some people have issues, I've opted for the subscription.
%
Some people in this country dont have maps
%
Some people make sense from scratch. The rest make sense out of whole cloth.
%
some say freedom is free, but we tend to disagree.
%
Some things are too serious to do anything but laugh about.
%
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
%
Sometimes I become spell-bound in the middle of Wal-Mart.
%
Sometimes I like to cover myself with Vaseline and pretend I'm a slug.
%
sometimes it is completely appropriate to be impolite.
%
sometimes, i wish a star would have wished upon me, so then i would not have to wish upon one.
%
Sometimes joke underpants are still underpants.
%
Sometime's people's illusions don't want people to hear the truth because they'll be destroyed.
%
sometimes things seem to happen of their own accord
%
Sometimes you get insomnia, sometimes it gets you.
%
Sometimes your best just isn't good enough.
%
Sooner or later we'll get your kids
%
So, read any good books lately?
%
Sorry I hit your car, you shouldn't even notice the damage.
%
Sorry Mario, but your princess is just another castle.
%
So... so you think you can tell... heaven from hell
%
"So, we're doing some restructuring and looking into changes to our pay progression.  How is the progression at your firm set up?"  "Generally speaking, the people at the top tend to make more than the people lower down."
%
So what reason did me punching you in the face happen for?
%
Space Bar. The zen stick in the keyboard, and the key of the board aboard the space-bar.
%
Space is a practiced place.
%
Spacetime isn't curved, it's positively bent.
%
Spam
%
Spam was, Spam is and Spam shall be. After summer is winter, and after winter, summer. It ruled once where Man rules now; where Man rules now, it shall rule again. As a foulness shall ye know it.
%
"Specialization breeds biases that ultimately aggregate as international & ideological discord, which, in turn, leads to war." ~Bucky Fuller
%
Specialization is for insects
%
Specialization is for insects.
%
spending too much time on self-improvement is antisocial
%
spend time: it's on sale.
%
spend your fucking time any fucking way you fucking feel like. everything's going to be fine.
%
SPOILERS: You die at the end.
%
SPOON!
%
Squad 23 disguises the jet ski.
%
Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.
%
Stamp out bad eggs
%
Stamp Out ___ism.
%
Standing at the edge of tomorrow TODAY!
%
Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
%
Stand out, be part of a crowd.
%
Stand up for what's right. Even if it's wrong.
%
Stare at each eye in the mirror, over and over. You can't see yourself move
%
Start finishing what you finished starting.
%
Starting a cult is both a science and a fart.
%
Start up, log in, zone out.
%
starvation is nature's way
%
stasis is a dream state
%
Stasis is the most potent force for change.
%
Statistically, flying is the safest mode of transportation.
%
Statistically you are rather a terrorist than a victim of terror.
%
Step on a crack
%
step one: build a better idiot
%
sterilization is a weapon of the rulers
%
Stop being used.
%
Stop believing, start thinking.
%
Stop deluding yourself, everyone finishes last..
%
Stop history
%
Stop!  I'm a girl whose fingernails are made of a mother's pearl...
%
Stop imitating yourself.
%
STOP. Is your children learning?
%
Stop it, just fucking stop it.
%
Stop Palpitation!
%
Stop reading, start thinking.
%
Stop searching forever.  Happiness is just next to you.
%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
%
Stop searching forever.  Happiness is unattainable.
%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
%
STOP TALKING.
%
Stop thinking. Stop speaking. It is still possible.
%
Stop whining -- YOU let them do it.
%
Stop whispering. Start shouting.
%
STOP WORMHOLE EXPERIMENTATION
%
STOP YOUR CHILDREN FROM LEARNING!
%
Strike any user to continue.
%
Strike back against [terrorist/government] oppression!
%
"STRIKE" or "REVOLT" or "YIPPIE"
%
Strike the sheep and the shepherds will scatter.
%
strong emotional attachment stems from basic insecurity
%
STRUCTURE IS THE LEADING CAUSE OF CHAOS
%
Study demonology with an enemy this Sunday.
%
Stupidity is a talent.
%
Stupidity is the cure for what ails you.
%
stupid people shouldn't breed
%
Sturgeon's Law:  Ninety percent of everything is crud.
%
Sturgeon's Law: Ninety percent of everything is crud.
%
Subconscious included. Results may vary.
%
Subversion doesn't feel like like going to school in black; it feels like going to school in a clown suit.
%
Subversive is the new black.
%
Success: Just say NO.
%
Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
%
Such Oddacity.
%
Suffering is Optional...
%
Suicide is against the law!
%
suk up and pop
%
Sum id quod sum et id totum est quod sum.
%
Superstition brings bad luck.
%
supplementing my permanent record
%
Support bacteria.  They're the only culture some people have.
%
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
%
Support free enterprise: shoplift.
%
SUPPORT OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO ARM BEARS!
%
Support Our Fruits.
%
SUPPORT OUR GENOCIDE
%
Support safe sex: give a blowjob to a prostitute.
%
Support your local ceiling.
%
Suppose you succeed in breaking the wall with your head. And what, then, will you do in the next cell?
%
Sure I believe in peace.  Peace through superior firepower.
%
Sure I believe in peace. Peace through superior firepower.
%
Surgeon General's Warning: independent thought is hazardous to the establishment.
%
Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it.
%
survival of the fittest applies to men and animals
%
Suspend belief.
%
Swim Upstream to Reverse Current Thinking
%
Swing Dancing means never having to say "I'm sorry"
%
symbols are more meaningful than things themselves
%
Synthetic reality and real reality are THE SAME THING.
%
Take a picture, it'll last longer.
%
Take care of the cojones and the frijoles will take care of themselves.
%
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
%
take me to the wizard, he'll know what to do
%
Take no shit, take a crap
%
take nothing for granted
%
Take thee this thing covered with that stuff and give it unto that guy, that he may do things with it.
%
Take the RED pill.
%
Take the skin and peel it back... now doesn't it make you feel better?
%
TAKE THIS AS A SIGN
%
taking a strong stand publicizes the opposite position
%
Talking donkeys my ass!
%
talking is used to hide one's inability to act
%
Talking's not illegal, baby.
%
Talk to the next person that reads this
%
Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an extension.
%
Tax is more addictive than crack.
%
Taze a kitten!
%
Tea isn't everyone's cup of freedom.
%
Tear off all your labels.
%
teasing people sexually can have ugly consequences
%
technically the cup is always full whether it is with oxygen or water.
%
technology will make or break us
%
Tell ________ we're looking for him.
%
Temptoe through the toolies
%
Terrorism.
%
Terror is what you make of it.
%
Thaaaaaat's niiiiiice.
%
Thank God for Existenialism.
%
Thank Satan i'm a Christian.
%
Thanks to capitalism, the masses now have a wide selection of opiates.
%
Thank you for reading this sign.
%
Thank you for shopping at S-Mart.
%
Thank you for your contribution to the mainstream
%
that beegees song is now repeating in your head as you walk
%
That be some righteous dub mon.
%
That makes sense
%
that memebomb would have melted his mentarium like a butter stick between a whore's thighs. - Jay Lake
%
That must be wonderful!  I don't understand it at all.
%
That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
%
That's a fish and you know it!
%
That sickening feeling when you realize you've lost your cellphone will soon be permanent
%
That's just what I believe
%
That's no excuse, and you know it.
%
That's what she said.
%
That that is is that that is not is not is that it it is
%
That was a bad idea.
%
That wasn't a bomb; it was a suggestion.
%
That wasn't aimed at you.
%
That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
%
That which is not forbidden is mandatory.
%
The apocalypse is the root of all evil.
%
The appearance of any real communication from me is actually the Laws of Fives in effect.
%
The average human has ___ original thoughts per day.
%
The Average Person has less than three Original Thoughts per week.
%
The backbone of this country is the independent trucks.
%
The Beginning is Near.
%
The Beginning is Nigh
%
The best hypothesis is that you are wrong.
%
The best part about Cartesan Dualism is the existential relief one feels when they reason that it is actually absurd.
%
The Best part of the democracy is that when everyone is wrong, then everyone is right
%
The best practice of abstinence is abstinence of it.
%
The best teddy bears are the live kind.
%
The best thing a true patriot can do is take down his own government.
%
The best things in life are imaginary
%
The best things in life are ridiculous.
%
The best way to move forward is to stand still.
%
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals.  That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals.  It's just that they need more supervision.
%
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.
%
The biggest mistake ever done was giving you a keyboard and access to the internet
%
The big theives hang the little ones.
%
_The Big U_ and _Snow Crash_ both center around cerebral bicamerality... but is that because Neal Stephenson has a Jaynes addiction?
%
The boss needs you, you don't need him.
%
The brain is the greatest sex organ of all
%
The Bucket is Going to Kick You!
%
The cake is a lie, but the icing is Truth.
%
The Californians are an idle thriftless people, and can make nothing for themselves.
%
The car stopped on a dime, which unfortunately was in a pedestrian's pocket.
%
The cause is the effect.
%
The charms of a woman are directly related to the speed of her passing.
%
The City eats dreams and shits out monkeys.
%
the city is upstairs
%
The classical Greeks were not influenced by the classical Greeks.
%
The common man thirsts for the mediocre.
%
The compulsion to do good is an innate American trait. Only North Americans seem to believe that they always should, may, and actually can choose somebody with whom to share their blessings. Ultimately this attitude leads to bombing people into the acceptance of gifts.
%
The computer is the LSD of the corporate person
%
The concept is simply staggering.  Pointless, but staggering.
%
The concept is simply staggering. Pointless, but staggering.
%
The conspiracy does not exist... But that doesn't mean you can't join.
%
The cops haven't caught me yet.
%
The cotton clothing is made of grows in Mississippi.
%
The "counter-culture" is neither.
%
The coward regards himself as cautious, the miser as thrifty.
%
The Crazy is everywhere and getting stronger.
%
The Creator is the Destroyer.
%
The Crisis is also not a weather front
%
the cruelest disappointment is when you let yourself down
%
The cruelest prison is the one we build for ourselves out of fear and regret.
%
The Crusades were the product of brand loyalty.
%
The darkest aspect of human nature: We are often afraid of the Light.
%
The day we make a solar powered tank will be a bittersweet day for humanity, indeed.
%
The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.
%
The Delta-United Ring Formation Theory states that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
%
The denizens of this sizzling-hot, freezing-cold, rocky, rotten island were monsters -- huge or miserably stunted, fat or scraggly, dry or slimy, with scales, warts, pimples, tentacles, talons, fangs, extra arms, eyes, legs, tails, and even heads, all in ridiculous arrangements.
%
the desire to reproduce is a death wish
%
The difference between apathy and ignorance?, I dont know and couldnt care less.
%
The difference between jokes and tragedies is that jokes aren't always funny.
%
the dishonest sage tells you he is lying
%
The door is the key.
%
The early worm gets the bird.
%
The Earth Will Shake.
%
The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not get caught.
%
the end is extremely freaking nigh.
%
The End is Further Away Than You Think
%
The End Is Queer!(tm)
%
The End is Rear!
%
The end of this sentence is false, but the beginning of it is true.
%
the essencial meaning before poee is the weight of this aphorism on flax
%
The Establishment would like to thank you for your continued support.
%
the family is living on borrowed time
%
The first step to a person's heart is to confuse the fuck out of 'em.
%
the flick of an eyelid separates you from chaos unleashed
%
The following statement is not true:
%
The following statement is true; the preceding statement is false.
%
The fragmentariness of life makes coherence suspect.
%
The free market never cured malaria.
%
The friend of your friend is your enemy.
%
Theft is liberty
%
theft is the liberty of property
%
The fuck do you mean with that?
%
The future ain't what it used to be.
%
The future is history.
%
THE FUTURE STARTED HERE.
%
The Game
%
The gateway drug was shut so we can hotbox this joint with tobacco.
%
the goal of religion is its dissollution
%
The good need no rules. The bad have none.
%
The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.
%
The Government is watching God
%
the grand unified conspiracy theory ate the last cookie!
%
The grass IS greener on the other side, alas, it is federal property and you cannot enter.
%
The graveyards are full of indespensible men.
%
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making you think there is only one of him.
%
The harder you work, the luckier you get.
%
The Heirophant is Disguised and Confused.
%
The hidden factor may be you.
%
The hidden hand of the market will never work without a hidden fist.
%
The hipbone's connected to the... jawbone?
%
The Hmm Law - Anyone who says the word "hmm" is nowhere near as clever as they think they are and should be ignored at all costs.
%
The horse raced past the barn fell.
%
the human brain is like a grizzly bear with a midget on the back trying to control it
%
The Ideal is in thyself, the impediments too is in thyself.
%
the idea of revolution is an adolescent fantasy
%
the idea of transcendence is used to obscure oppression
%
the idiosyncratic has lost its authority
%
the idiot in the box looks at the idiot in the box and ___
%
The illusion of objectivity captures people within a mirrored sphere.
%
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
%
The Invisible Hand is an expert at picking pockets.
%
The invisible hand of the market will never work without an invisible fist.
%
The Jetdillo Project: 2000 pounds of steel, 20,000 pounds of thrust.  One pair of very dark shades.  The world's first fully cybernetic, SSTO-capable armadillo.  Coming soon from Armadillo Labs.  The Dasypian Future begins tommorrow...
%
the keepers of time are robots.
%
The keyboard really likes it when you type things
%
The key difference between science and religion is that you can have a chemistry lecture in the physics building but you can't have Seder in the mosque.
%
The last person to read this was far more attractive then the next, don't you agree?
%
the last will be first and the first shall be last. Those of us in the middle won't notice the difference
%
The Law has no claim to human respect. It has no civilizing mission - its only purpose is to protect exploitation. - Peter Kropotkin
%
The laws weren't made for people like you
%
the less you know, the more you think you know.
%
The liberation of humanity will be total or it will not be.
%
The longer you're around the older you get.
%
the luminosity of this system was found to vary
%
The Machine is just a by-product widespread personal gain.
%
The Machine is Us.
%
THE MACHINE STOPS, BUT THE ROBOT IS DREAMING
%
The Machine (TM) says: Go back to sleep!
%
THE MAGNA CARTA (The Great Charter):
%
The mainstream is a sewer.
%
The mainstream is; Warm and Cozy; Running down my thigh.
%
The management would like to remind you, the valued customer, that not all moustaches are made of hair. Thank you.
%
The Management would like to thank you for not subverting the dominant paradigm.
%
The man in the green jacket will tell you what to do next.
%
The man saw the boy with the binoculars.
%
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
%
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
%
the meaning of existence is [garbled].
%
The meaning of life is [DATA EXPUNGED].
%
The media lies.
%
The medium and placement of these would completely define the meaning.
%
the medium is the mode
%
the meek really will inherit the earth, 6 foot by 3 of it...
%
The meek will inherit the earth; the rest of us will go to the stars.
%
The meiudm is not the mgsaese.
%
The mind is what the brain does in its spare time.
%
The mind that opens too widely is in danger of spilling out.
%
The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it.
%
The moral of the story is: Kill the parents kill the children.
%
The more it stays the same, the less it changes.
%
The more people I meet, the more I love my battleaxe.
%
the most profound things are inexpressible
%
the most things on the Internet is a waste of time but a nice kind of wasting your time! TO Know what is time-wasting and what is useful or good too keep, you have to test it all - OMG!
%
The most useful tool for dealing with management types is, of course, an automatic weapon.
%
The mutant alien skull man has a smile for all smiles, an answer for all answers.
%
The mystery of love is greater then the mystery of death
%
the new is nothing but a restatement of the old
%
The new money is info.
%
The next person to pass us will die within a fortnight.
%
the nile is not a stream of consciousess
%
the notes for which are they are noted, are not noted for being musical notes
%
Then they came for me
%
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
%
"The object of life is to make sure you die a weird death. To make sure that however it finds you, it will find you under very weird circumstances. To live that kind of life . . . - Thomas Pynchon
%
The obvious is not what needs no proof, but what people do not want to prove.
%
Theologians, they don't know nothing about my soul.
%
The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
%
The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions.
%
The only difference between us is that I wrote this and you are reading it.
%
The only good Smurf is a dead Smurf.
%
The only historically justified tactic is extremist innovation.
%
the only important elements in any society are teh artistic and the criminal, because they alone, by questioning society's values, can force it to change.
%
the only normal people you know are people you don't know that well.
%
The only realistic plan for world peace, NUKE THE MOON!!!!
%
The only real problem in life is what to do next.
%
The only real sins are selfishness and ignorance.
%
The only thing worth doing with your time is wasting it
%
the only true way to worship a god(ess) is to destroy him/her
%
The only truth is we perceive, yet this makes it the highest falsehood.
%
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
%
the only way to be pure is to stay by yourself
%
The only way to get money is from other people
%
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds.  The pessimist is afraid that it is.
%
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist is afraid that it is.
%
The penis is mightier than the sword.
%
THE PENIS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD
%
The people must fight for its law as for its walls
%
The placebo is the most potent drug on the market.
%
The plural of spouse is spice.
%
The police are your friends.
%
The president's weird.  He's got a burgundy beard.  It's a ripoff.
%
The primary difference between the stage magician and the practitioner of the occult is that the magician uses illusion and misdirection to deceive an audience, while the occultist uses illusion and misdirection to deceive himself.
%
The problem is that the problem isn't a problem.
%
The problem with troubleshooting is that real trouble shoots back.
%
The purpose of accepting authority is to learn to outgrow it.
%
The quality of an organization can never exceed the quality of the minds that make it up.
%
The quality of mercy is not strgynjdv
%
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
%
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
%
The rain, it raineth on the Just and the Unjust fella.  But chiefly on the Just because the Unjust steals the Just's umbrella.
%
The rain, it raineth on the Just and the Unjust fella. But chiefly on the Just because the Unjust steals the Just's umbrella.
%
The rarity of genuine feeling in human society sometimes makes me stop in the street to watch a dog gnawing a bone.
%
There ain't no justice
%
The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.
%
The real Supreme Court meets up here
%
The real trap of the Black Iron Prison is that you think the bars are protecting you.
%
there are apparently only two thing this country got righ. cars. and freedom
%
There are five kinds of people:
%
There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
%
there are no answers. only questions. BE YOUR OWN FUCKING MESSIAH.
%
There are no atheists in prisons either.
%
There are no chickens in the coup.
%
There are no extras in THIS movie.
%
There are no feminists when the lifeboats are lowered
%
There are no gold prisons
%
There are no security cameras on the premises.
%
there are no stupid questions, just ignorant people.
%
There are no unrelated factors.
%
there are only 10 kinds of people who understand binary. those who do and those who don't.
%
there are only two days
%
There are persons who, when they cease to shock us, cease to interest us.
%
There are three magical words that make everyone feel happy... 'no compilation errors'.
%
there are too few immutable truths today
%
There are trivial truths and there are great truths.  The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.  The opposite of a great truth is also true.
%
There are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.
%
There are two kinds of fighters. Those who fight honorably and those who win.
%
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who believe there are two kinds of people and those who don't.
%
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley; LSD and BSD Unix.  We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
%
There are two things in life that require adequate penetration, one of them is welding.
%
The reason people get lost in thought is because it is, to many, rather unfamiliar territory
%
The reason people get lost in thought is because it is, to many, rather unfamiliar territory.
%
There can be no difference anywhere that does not make a difference somewhere.
%
there comes a point when you have to stand up to reality and deny it. - garrison keillor
%
Therefore, by transitive relation, theft is liberty.
%
Therefore, knowing that you are merely human, do not assign yourself merit.
%
there has never been day time in your dreams
%
there is an error in this sentence.
%
There is an exception to every rule. Chaos is everywhere!
%
There is a puppy in that room over there. If you think about the puppy, he dies a horrible death. Don't let the Puppy die.
%
There is far less to everything than you think
%
there is HIMEOBS in my carpet
%
There is more than one way to shave a cat:
%
There is no absolute Freedom!
%
There is no conspiracy.
%
There is no conspiracy. Nobody is in charge. It's a headless blunder operating under the illusion of a master plan.
%
There is no conspiracy; people just aren't that organized.
%
there is *no* conspiracy. the government *is* out to get us.
%
There is no cure for stupidity.
%
There is no evil, only suffering.
%
There is no excess of self-expression that will not serve you well.
%
There Is No Friend Anywhere.
%
There is no gravity, the earth just sucks.
%
There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
%
There is no help.
%
there is no Jew world fnorder
%
There is no limit to the creativity and brlliance a person can display in suggesting a solution to a problem they don't really understand
%
There is no mainstream.
%
There is no more revolution;
%
There is no need to apologize for reality.
%
There is no Santa Claus. It's your parents. Same goes for Jesus.
%
There is no such thing as a fake religion.
%
There is no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it. -tgwtg- (ask him)
%
there is no such thing as "cause and effect", everything is an effect.
%
There is no such thing as innocence. Only Degrees of guilt
%
There is no such thing as innocence, only varying degrees of guilt.
%
There is no such thing as "normal"...please try again.
%
tHERE IS NO SUCH THING AS: SUPERNATURAL. just because its wierd to you or you cant understand it doesnt make it outside of nature.
%
There is no such thing as The Machine.
%
There is not a struggle between authority and democracy, but between industrial society and humanity.
%
There is no "THEM". There is only "US".
%
There is nothing hidden here.
%
there is nothing more selfish than having a blowjob
%
There is nothing to worry about, ever, really!
%
THERE IS NOTHING UN-NATURAL. eVERYTHING THAT EXISTS IS PART OF NATURE, WHICH IS EVERYTHING
%
There is no time like the pleasant.
%
There is no Truth here.
%
...there is only black, or white.
%
There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty: the duty to take the consequences.
%
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
%
There is some fiction in your truth, and some truth in your fiction.
%
there is something addicting about a secret.
%
There IS something hiding in your closet.
%
There is where you say something stupid.
%
"The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide."
%
There's $30 hidden around here.
%
There's a fine line between pride in one's identity and unearned moral superiority.
%
There's always room for unreasonable doubt.
%
There's no LIE in BELIEF.
%
There's no such thing as a free world
%
There's no such thing as nothing
%
There's nothing better than a BDSM fuck.
%
there's nothing except what you sense
%
there's nothing redeeming in toil
%
There's nothing to panic about. Remain indoors and you will not be harmed.
%
There's nothing wrong with mondays, it's your job that sucks.
%
There's nothing wrong with slavery
%
There's nothing wrong with you a shotgun blast to the face couldn't fix.
%
There's no upside to believing in what's true.
%
There's someone in my head, but it's not me
%
There's something existentially pleasing about dropping a jar of marbles in an insane asylum.
%
there's so such thing as wasted time, only wasted people to spend it with.
%
the restless soul must never be allowed confinement of expression
%
THE REVOLUTION
%
The revolution has abandoned you--
%
the revolution is begining ...everyone turn to the left
%
The revolution is over, and yet here you are.
%
The revolution is unbelievable because it's real.
%
The Revolution will be commercial free.
%
The revolution will be the same
%
The Revolution will not be civilized
%
The revolution will not be teleprompted.
%
The Revolution will not be televised.
%
the revolution will not realised
%
the revolution will take place elsewhere - here it's forbidden to step on the grass.
%
There were Arabs with knives at the foot of the bed.
%
There were no zero sum games until we made them.
%
There will be plenty of time to sleep when you're dead.
%
The Roadrunner fled across the desert, and the Coyote followed.
%
The Rule of Fives states that all things happen in fives, or are divisible by or are multiples of five, or are somehow directly or indirectly related to five.  The Rule of Fives is never wrong.
%
The Rule of Fives states that all things happen in fives, or are divisible by or are multiples of five, or are somehow directly or indirectly related to five. The Rule of Fives is never wrong.
%
The sad thing in the world is a dying man who never had an original thought in his whole life.
%
The Sanity is IN.
%
The scum of the earth lurk in dark hallways
%
These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives; for all the scents of green things growing, each breath is but an exhalation of the grave.  Bodies jerk like puppet corpses, and hell walks laughing --
%
These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives; for all the scents of green things growing, each breath is but an exhalation of the grave. Bodies jerk like puppet corpses, and hell walks laughing --
%
These could go together, or be separate.
%
the secret of the universe is just that
%
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
%
The secret to my success: Poor impulse control.
%
These days, it takes a square to show you what's cool.
%
These eyes have seen things you would easily believe.
%
the sense is not to search for a sense
%
These words mean nothing.
%
The silver-lineing comes unstiched
%
The size of the package doesn't matter if it's flaccid.
%
The solution is part of the problem.
%
The sound of bags of rice tipping is the fundamental background noise of our universe.
%
The spiritual fridge is full of leftovers.
%
The state calls its own violence law, but that of the individual crime.
%
the state calls its own violence law, but that of the individual crime. - max steiner
%
The statement "the pen is mightier than a sword." Also applies when talking about penises. No, I'm not bitter.
%
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal.
%
the sum of your actions determines what you are
%
The Sun impregnated the Earth with its photonic sperm; we are all their children.
%
The supernatural is inherently unknowable.
%
"The surest way to guarantee a dictatorship is to be afraid of one." -The Good Reverend Roger
%
The surrealist is the only realist.
%
the system's rigged! step aside of it! cut off it's leeching umbilical cord! let's starve it!
%
THE SYSTEM supports both uppercase and lowercase characters
%
The television will not be revolutionized.
%
The three greatest men who ever lived were Eleanor Roosevelt.
%
The toof will set you fwee.
%
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
%
The Triangle God has three sides.
%
The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
%
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
%
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
%
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
%
The trouble with using experience as a guide is that the final exam often comes first and then the lesson.
%
The Truth Hertz.
%
The truth is manifest in such a way that it can be found in the thickest of lies.
%
The Truth Is No.
%
The Truth is not for sale - your tax money helps keep the Truth in good hands.
%
The truth is probably not out there after all.
%
The truth is the biggest lie anyone ever told
%
the truth is undeniable, and we will flood them with it.
%
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
%
The truth never set anyone free
%
The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility.
%
The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
%
the unattainable is invariable attractive
%
The unexamined life isn't worth living man.
%
the universe doesn't give a shit about you. sorry you had to find out in the form of a crappy meme bomb, but it's true. still a nice place to visit, though.
%
The universe, including the parts occupied by matter, is made almost entirely of empty space. Since nature abhors a vacuum, it would seem evident that the universe is comprised mostly of self loathing.
%
The universe is laughing behind your back.
%
The universe is like a grapefruit -- it's yellow and dimply, and some people have half of one for breakfast.
%
The universe is like a grapefruit--it's yellow and dimply, and some people have half of one for breakfast.
%
The University's needle exchange program has been closed due to public outcry
%
the unknown has done nothing to warrant it being something worth fearing
%
The Vain Search is a search in vain
%
The vast, shadowy organizations you fear are made up of frightened, neurotic little people just like you.
%
The very fact that you exist is the end product of billions of Aeons of fantastically unlikely events. Statistically you don't exist.
%
The wages of sin are death! (of course, After taxes, it's really more of a tired feeling....)
%
The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy.
%
The way up and the way down is one and the same.
%
the whether is changing
%
The White zone is for loading and unloading only
%
The whole universe is trying to enlighten you. Will you let it?
%
The wind is loud and sometimes pungent.
%
The wind is plowed and sometimes sturgeon.
%
The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
%
The wisest man is an ape compared to god.
%
The womb is a prison - Fetus liberation front
%
The world doesn't stop just because you are having a shitty day.
%
The world ended last year and nobody noticed.
%
The world is a vast temple dedicated to Discord. - Voltaire.
%
The world is coming to an end.  Please log off.
%
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
%
the world is end and we are basking in it's imaginative echo
%
The world is full of adults scrambling around trying to learn how to play again.
%
The world is full to bursting with people exactly like you.
%
The world is the inbox and you are the spam
%
the world operates according to discoverable laws
%
The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease.  The happy man confines himself within ancient limits.
%
The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man confines himself within ancient limits.
%
the worst feeling isn't losing someone you love. and it's not loving someone who won't love you back. it's wholeheartedly and unstoppably loving someone who does not love you...anymore.
%
The worst you can do is kill me. What I can do to you, however, is far more horrifying. I Can wake you up.
%
They are a puckish band of rapscallions
%
They are hunting dogs.
%
THEY buy your happiness. Steal it back.
%
They can take our guns, but they can't take our ignorance!
%
They hang the man and flog the woman
%
They just buzzed and buzzed.....buzzed.
%
They know you're not as weird as you pretend.
%
They know you're reading this.
%
They Live. We sleep
%
They never tell you about all the other little engines that couldn't
%
They promised me fiery doom, but all i ever got was this lukewarm failure
%
They're catching up to you!
%
They're most dangerous when they look normal.
%
They say life is short, life is the longest thing you'll ever do.
%
They think the earth is flat because they are anarchists.
%
They think YOU are a criminal.
%
They think you're weird.
%
THEY WANT YOUR X
%
The Zombie Apocalypse starts at home.
%
the zombie virus can travel through all sorts of media.
%
Things are great because great men did them. Men are great because they did great things.
%
Things fell apart and nobody did much of anything
%
Things you own end up owning you
%
THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME YOU WASTED READING THIS
%
Think about if what you write down is actually clever.
%
Think "HONK" if you're a telepath!
%
thinking too much can only cause problems
%
Think inside the box
%
Think in terms of thought.
%
Think of hummingbirds as the flying penises of flowers
%
Think out of the box.
%
Think outside the book.
%
Think outside which box?
%
tHINK tWICE, SPEAK ONCE
%
This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race
%
This bear's repeating.
%
this conversation isnt over
%
this conversation is over
%
This elevator has been accident-free for 16 days!
%
this has been rewritten countless times over
%
This has probably been said before, but here it is again.
%
this is a interdistraction
%
This is a Meme.
%
THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM GOD
%
This is a message from the past. RSVP.
%
This is a mindjacking!
%
This is a question?
%
this is a secret society, quick spread the word.
%
This is a thought free zone.
%
this is a wasteland in your mouth
%
this is certainly sort of strange
%
This is inappropriate
%
This is just another slick marketing enterprise.
%
This is like Brave New World, only all the alphas are retards.
%
This is my steakhouse.
%
This is not a meme.
%
This is Not an Exist.
%
THIS IS NOT AN INNUENDO!
%
This is not a pipe.
%
This is not as apparent as it looks.
%
This is 'not cricket'.
%
This is not here
%
This is not mind control, ...............................Think about it. _Mad Poet
%
This is not simply entertainment.
%
This is not "This is not a pipe".
%
This is now part of your day.
%
This isn't a debate, it's a historical re-enactment.
%
This isn't all true.
%
This isn't who it would be, if it wasn't who it is.
%
this is only a test
%
This is only a test! Had this been an actual life, you would have been instructed where to tune for news and official information.
%
This is part of a dream you're going to have tonight
%
This is precisely the sort of thing that people who like this sort of thing will like.
%
This is reality. Logic has no place in the real world.
%
This is the distraction.
%
This is the end
%
This is the most amazing loaf of bread I've ever owned.
%
This is the only warning I'm allowed to give you.
%
This is the worst smelling planet I have ever visited.
%
THIS IS WHAT DISCORDIANS ACTUALLY BELIEVE
%
This is where I get off...
%
THIS IS YOUR TRUE DESIRE.
%
THIS MACHINE LIES
%
This may be the last time you feel great...
%
THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED.
%
This message is false
%
This message is not for you.
%
This message isn't for you
%
This message is thoughtcrime.
%
This Message Not Valid Without Receipt
%
This page was intentionally left blank.
%
This poster is holding reality together.
%
this post scares me
%
THIS REVOLUTION IS ONE-HUNDRED PER CENT GOVERNMENT APPROVED
%
[this scene was directed by David Lynch]
%
"This sentence finds it embarassing to be red." (In green pen?)
%
This Sentence has Cabbage six words.
%
This sentence is a lie.
%
This sentence is different the third time you read it.
%
This sentence is in Spanish while you're not looking.
%
This sentence will not prompt you to think of that thing.
%
This side up.
%
This sign is not for you.
%
This sign is not self-referential.
%
This statement does not apply for jobs.
%
This statement is a lie.
%
This statement is false.
%
This sticker is upside-down.
%
This sticker written on the internet.
%
This town needs an enema.
%
This world is a toolbox, full of loose screws.
%
Those students who have become one with the universe will be allowed to go on and become two with the universe.
%
Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate.
%
Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
%
Those who don't question their own beliefs probably shouldn't have any.
%
those who do the impossible never believe the impossible
%
Those who listen only to what they want to hear, end up dancing with their own reflection - in the abyss.
%
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable.
%
Those who make peaceful revolution possible make violent revolution necessary
%
Those who play with the Stone get screwed by the Stone.
%
those who speak don't speak, those who know don't know.
%
Those who think ignorance is bliss are ignorant and blissful
%
Those you think are your friends are really your enemies...
%
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same...
%
Thousands upon thousands are yearly brought into a state of real poverty by their great anxiety over not to be thought poor.
%
Thou shalt make no more commandments.
%
Thou shalt not misspell thine neurotransmitters.
%
#tigerblood
%
Tiger Tim the Tightrope Walker, tried to steal the drag queen's daughter.
%
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
%
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
%
Time flies like an arrow... Fruit flies like a banana.
%
Time flies whether you're having fun or not.
%
Time is a great teacher, but it kills all its pupils.
%
Time is a harsh mistress.
%
Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so.
%
Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
%
Time is a plaything for children and fools.
%
Time is a spiral, space is a curve, I know you get dizzy but try not to lose your nerve
%
Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
%
Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
%
Time is the best teacher, unfortunatelly it kills all its students.
%
Time's fun when you're having flies
%
"Time's up... or left?"
%
Time Warner: bringing you the finest in cradle-to-grave thought management.
%
timidity is laughable
%
'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.
%
Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.
%
To annoy a conservative, tell him a lie.
%
To be free today means to participate.
%
To be good is to be lonesome.
%
To be happy is a new notion
%
To be happy living in this world, there are sides of the soul one must entirely paralyze.
%
TO BE IS TO DUDE.
%
to be placed on stickers : this is not a sticker
%
To be the best, you must LOSE YOUR MIND.
%
To be written on elevator doors: "You are now trapped"
%
To chase the Divine is to deny the Humanity.
%
To criticize the incompetent is easy; to criticize the competent is difficult.
%
Today is a bad day for a revolution!
%
Today is a good day to bribe a high ranking public official.
%
Today is a good day to join the revolution!
%
Today is a good day to sign up for the revolution!
%
Today is a good day to start the revolution!
%
Today is a good day to start writing on walls
%
Today is an excellent day to become a missing person.
%
Today is the day.
%
Today is the first day of the rest of my death.  Tommorrow will be the next day of it.  Bwwaahh.
%
To demand 'sense' is the hallmark of nonsense. Nature does not make sense. Nothing makes sense.
%
to disagree presupposes moral integrity
%
To err is human; to forgive is not company policy.
%
To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.
%
To have nothing is impossible.
%
To have nothing is impossible. You'll always perceive something.
%
To have too much and not enough is like a boat person with sideburns.
%
Tomorrow's just an excuse away!
%
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earthbound misfit, I.
%
Tony Orlando and DAWN!
%
To obtain a man's opinion of you, make him mad.
%
Too much Freedom can be extremely unpleasant.
%
To speak of right and wrong per se makes no sense at all. No act of violence, rape, exploitation, destruction, is intrinsically unjust, since life itself is violent, rapacious, exploitative, and destructive, and cannot be conceived otherwise.
%
Tough times do not last forever.
%
to volunteer is reactionary
%
to whom it may concern,
%
Train of thought derailed, thousands killed.
%
Trespassing is foreboding.
%
Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
%
Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing.
%
true freedom is frightful
%
True love is overrated
%
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
%
Truly, the road to enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass.
%
Trust I seek and I find in you, everyday to eat something new.
%
Trust me--I am an anonymous stranger with foul intentions!
%
Truth Hurts, Troof Tickles.
%
Truth is just our need to make things come to existence
%
Truth is plural and contingent
%
truth is the biggest lie in the universe
%
Truth is wherever you look for it, in exactly the same place where falseness likes to hide, there are only so many hiding places.
%
Truth would quickly cease to become stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it.
%
Try Dying.
%
Try enjoying yourself.  Everyone else has.
%
Try enjoying yourself. Everyone else has.
%
"Trying to defeat an ideology by killing individuals is like trying to save a marriage with a blowjob. It might buy you some time, but in the end it'll just suck" - Ze Frank
%
Try looking at these words WITHOUT reading them.
%
Try reading this page out loud.
%
Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
%
Try to alter the way you interact with the people around you. I dare you!
%
Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough
%
Try to outlive these words.
%
Try to remember
%
Try to stop thinking for 5 seconds...
%
Tune out the signal.
%
Tu quoque makes the whole world dumb
%
TV Sets the Channel
%
Twang gard is fo yo helff
%
'Twas Brillig, and the slithey toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.
%
Twas Brillig, and the slithey toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.
%
TWISTER FOR MONEY, TWISTER FOR BLOOD!
%
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
%
Two wrongs don't make a Right...but three lefts do!
%
Tyger, tyger, burning bright, in the forests of the night; what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?
%
u can not spell cannibalism without capitalism
%
Uh, Josh, you have to do a QC before you say "go away" for it to be a banishing.
%
Ultimately wise magic crystal ball divination says: MAYBE
%
Um.  No.  It's not mayonnaise.
%
Undermine society, everybody!
%
Underneath all the God stuff... more God stuff.
%
Unemployment is not a disease; so it has no cure
%
unique things must be the most valuable
%
Universal quantifications are always wrong.
%
unleash infinity
%
Until, one by one... HE DESTROYED THEM ALL!
%
Until you realize the power of an archetype/symbol, it's just another bar in your cell.
%
Use condoms while screwing the establishment.
%
Use no hooks.
%
Use only as directed.
%
Use the Culture as ocean to swim in. Treat it with care.
%
using force to stop force is absurd
%
Utopia, why?
%
Vacuum packed for freshness.
%
Vee off ze KGB are not ez slow ez you tink, comrade.
%
Vegetables are murder.
%
[Verification needed]
%
Victimize Circumstance!
%
Violators will be fisted.
%
violence is permissible even desirable occasionally
%
Violence never settles anything.
%
Virginity can be cured.
%
Visualize Whirled Peas
%
VOTE YES ON PROPOSITION 23: IMPLEMENT THE DEATH PENALTY FOR THE SIN OF IMMORTALITY!
%
Voting in an election is like Roman galley slaves picking the drummer in that neither has much effect on where the ship will finally sink,
%
wait,
%
wait!
%
Wait long enough and Choas is part of US - sorry you!
%
wait..they want you to eat christ's flesh and drink his blood?
%
Wait until you get the question before you volunteer an answer.
%
Wait you're worried about your Boss seeing your e-mails?
%
Wake up!
%
WAKE UP.
%
Wake up, the whole world's gone...
%
Walk away and pretend this never happened.
%
Walk in shadow, walk in dread, Loosefish walk as like one dead
%
War (conflict) is the father of all and the king of all; and some he has made gods and some men, some bond and some free.
%
War doesn't decide who's right, war decides who's left.
%
WAR: God's way of teaching Americans geography.
%
War hath no fury like a non-combatant.
%
war is a purification rite
%
Warning: ambitious careerists may now be disguised as "progressives".
%
WARNING: And how!
%
WARNING: Beware warning signs.
%
Warning: Discourse May Lead You Astray
%
Warning: Do not mind the gap.
%
Warning: don't worry, everything is ok.
%
"WARNING: It is forbidden to obey. Processors will be transgressed."
%
Warning: mind The Gap.
%
WARNING: Reading this sign is forbidden.
%
warning: the sky really is falling
%
WARNING: The vomitous nature of certain sequences may be emotionally hazardous for the squeamish or those with weak hearts.
%
Warning this is not a drill, it just feels like one because the truth is deep. Digging for gold and all we find is this damn oil and suddenly we realize we have forgotten our ladder and the hole is too deep to climb out of, we greedy basterds
%
Warning: This warning sign is false.
%
WARNING: You are forbidden to read this sentence.
%
warning: you are now entering a bullshit free zone.
%
Warning: You can't really say I didn't warn you.
%
Was it worth it?
%
was, Spam is and Spam shall be.  After summer is winter, and after winter, summer.  It ruled once where Man rules now; where Man rules now, it shall rule again.  As a foulness shall ye know it.
%
Was uns nicht umbringt macht mir bis 1500 naechsten nachmittag schlafen.
%
watching clouds change shapes, i see my prison
%
Watch me as I swing my hips... around.
%
Watch out for CCTV cameras, but otherwise that idea is awesome.
%
Watch this space, but not too intently.
%
Watch your back or I'll do it.
%
We all know that no one understands anything that isn't funny.
%
Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man's friend deserts him.
%
We are all Children of Cthulhu -- especially the ones with lots of tentacles.
%
We are as gods and might as well get good at it
%
We are blinded by the colour, and see the world in black and white.
%
We are digging in the trenches of the New Underground
%
We are King Midas: everything we touch turns into matter.
%
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
%
We are not stuff that abides
%
We are now approaching the Aftermath, and it will shake the mountains asunder.
%
We are now headed towards Mutually Assured Distraction.
%
we are only as free as our purchasing power permits.
%
We are sorry for the inconvenience, but this is a revolution
%
We are sorry, you have reached an imaginary number.  Please rotate your phone ninety degrees and try again.
%
We are the marginalized prophets
%
We are the music-makers. And we are the dreamers of the dreams.
%
We are the ones who seem to travel through time
%
We are the zombies that Zombies fear.
%
We are watching you
%
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
%
We asked for Mojo Nixon, they said "He don't work here"
%
Weather's here, wish you were beautiful.
%
Webcams and internet are the new God, all seeing .....
%
We care about your saftey as much as you care about our profit margin. -The Mgt
%
We come in peace... shoot to kill...
%
We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure.
%
We'd give peace a chance, but it would never survive on the free market.
%
We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.
%
We don't hate vegetarians, we just think they're funny.
%
We don't morally censure you.  We just want the money.
%
We don't morally censure you. We just want the money.
%
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
%
We don't take no shit from a machine.
%
We find the defendant innocent by reason of being generally clueless.
%
We find what we look for, whether or not it's there.
%
We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.
%
We have no time for useless sentiments like individuality.
%
We have this area under surveillance
%
We insist on seeing patterns that aren't there. The ones that really are there are quite beautiful enough, thank you.
%
We intend to destroy all dogmatic verbal systems.
%
We invent what we love, and what we fear."
%
WE KNOW IT WAS YOU
%
We know where you are. We know where you've been. We can more or less know what you're thinking about.
%
Welcome home
%
Welcome to Borger King.  Your way will be assimilated.
%
Welcome to the Federal Bureau for Reducing Bureaucracy!
%
Welcome to the internet. Please enjoy your stay and remember that no one cares what you find offensive.
%
We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
%
We learn from history that we do not learn from history.
%
We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.
%
Well, it looks like blind, screaming hedonism won out.
%
Well, Katrina likes it.
%
We'll make you happy
%
Well, what's wrong with a little destruction?
%
WELL YOU KNOW THEY SAY, "EVERYTHING CAN END WITH A RAZOR!".
%
We may all be dust in the wind ; but im makein a fucking kite, how about you?
%
We may be cheap, but we ain't free.
%
We may not be free, but we sure are cheap.
%
we must make sacrifices to maintain our quality of life
%
We must think of beauty as what we are, or the concept itself becomes our enemy.
%
we need some new cliches
%
We're all heroes, when we look at it the right way. We're all heroes of life.
%
We're behaving like insects
%
We refuse to be highrised, diplomaed, licensed, inventoried, registered, indoctrinated, suburbanized, sermonized, beaten, telemanipulated, gassed, booked.
%
We refuse to even acknowledge the wheel.
%
We're gonna go to the mall and window shoplift...
%
We're just two lost souls swimmin' in a fishbowl, year after year
%
We're not doing scientific research, we're killing people.
%
WE'RE PROBABLY NOT AS JUDGMENTAL AS YOU MIGHT THINK.
%
We're sorry, the universe is currently experiencing technical difficulties. Please (?force) accept this beautiful body (?meat-cage). Enlightenment is loading...
%
We're sorry, this sign is currently out of order.
%
We're supposed to be perfect our first day on the job and then show constant improvement.
%
We saw her duck.
%
We saw that, go back there and pick it up.
%
We see what you did there.
%
We seldom attribute common sense except to those who agree with us.
%
We should all quit whinging.
%
We should build an Intel processor out of penguins.
%
We sympathize with your intolerance.
%
we take the naps we think we deserve.
%
We thank you for the inconvenience.
%
We want nothing of a world in which the certainty of not dying from hunger comes in exchange for the risk of dying from boredom.
%
We watch the pain, over and over again.
%
We will protect you from loneliness.
%
what a drag it is getting sold
%
What are you doing?!
%
What are you doing out here? Haven't you heard about the curfew?
%
What are you really thinking about?
%
What are you thinking now that you are finished?
%
What are you thinking now that you are finished reading this?
%
What a useless scroll, all it says is "Hastur Hastur Hastur" over and over again.
%
What breaks in a moment may take years to mend.
%
what can i type here that would make you think?
%
What could possibly go wrong?
%
What did Medieval people do before television?
%
"What did Medieval people do before television?"  "Had tea, I suppose."
%
what did you lap up today?
%
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a grape? |grape| * |elephant| * sin(theta).
%
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a grape?  |grape| * |elephant| * sin(theta).
%
What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?
%
Whatever happened to Rodney Allen Rippy?  Check your Jumbo Jack.
%
Whatever you're doing, just stop.
%
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
%
What happens when we make machines make us make them make us into them?
%
What happens when you cut back the jungle?  It recedes.
%
What happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes.
%
(what if) God created Man because he wanted a worthy adversary(?)
%
What if the doctor told you you only had 50 more years to live?
%
What if you're never going to hit rock bottom?
%
What if you're the one?
%
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
%
What is it with you and money?
%
What is man but a bridge between animal and superman?
%
What is sextant,
%
what is stopping you from doing something so cool that it renders you IMMORTAL?
%
WHAT IS THE EXACT NATURE OF THE CATASTROPHE?
%
What is the first question?
%
What is this, some kind of slogan?
%
What is true and what is right are two different things.
%
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
%
What just happened?
%
What makes you think you aren't a target?
%
What other people think of you is none of your business
%
What poor gods we do make.
%
What rolls down T3s, boosts connect fees, and makes your throughput drag?  Makes it tough to hack, won't get off your back, it's lag lag lag!
%
What's blue and square?  An orange in disguise...
%
What's blue and square? An orange in disguise...
%
What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, and Understanding?
%
what's stopping you?
%
"What's the difference between two lawyers and a senator?"
%
What's thee rush? You're already here.
%
What's your anti-drug, and can you overcome it?
%
What we're looking at is an aggressive form of late-night shopping.
%
What were you thinking about before you started reading this sentence?
%
What will you be forgotten as?
%
What women really care about is the ability to kill their children.
%
What would Emperor Norton do?
%
What would Johnny Cash do?
%
What Would Paris Do?
%
what would you break without rules?
%
What you change, changes you.
%
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
%
When Cthulhu calls, he calls collect.
%
Whenever I hear the word "culture", it makes me want to reach for my revolver.
%
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
%
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my father did, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
%
When I grow up, I want to be a dull working class citizen with a wife and kids and a male archetypal hobby.
%
When in danger or in doubt: run in circles, scream and shout.
%
When in doubt, fuck it.  When not in doubt... get in doubt!
%
When in doubt, fuck it. When not in doubt... get in doubt!
%
When in Rome, do as the Vandals do.
%
When in Rome, try the veal. - drtim
%
When knowledge is managed, only managers will have knowledge.
%
When life gives you a lemon, say 'Lemons?  I like lemons.  What else have you got?'
%
When life gives you a lemon, say 'Lemons? I like lemons. What else have you got?'
%
When opportunity knocks, answer the door naked.
%
When opportunity knocks, escape through the back door
%
When Politicians say they want to take their country back, back to where and from who?
%
When push comes to shove, you will fall.
%
When someone starts telling you about The Truth, run!
%
when something terrible happens people wake up
%
When's the last time you felt great?
%
When stupid people are set free, the first thing they do is to make stupidity illegal.
%
When the axe came into the forest, the trees said, 'The handle is one of us.'
%
When the Brain fails, the gut prevails
%
When the crowd gets behind you, it means you are facing the wrong way.
%
When the culture is built around 'appearing', 'doing' becomes a political act in itself.
%
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
%
When the last stone from the last church falls on the last priest, Humanity will know peace.
%
When the naive man admits his naivete, he is no longer naive.  Thus, all people are regarded by society as either ignorant or a liar.
%
When the naive man admits his naivete, he is no longer naive. Thus, all people are regarded by society as either ignorant or a liar.
%
When the winds of change blow hard enough even the most trivial of things can turn into deadly projectiles.
%
when they said REPENT, I WONDERED WHAT THEY MEANT
%
When was the first time you felt great?
%
When we talk about property, state, masters, government, laws, courts, and police, we say only that we don't want any of them.
%
when you act like someone is your enemy, they'll soon start playing to the role as they feel threatened.
%
When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself.
%
When you die, can I have your dreams and ideas?
%
When you dont know where you going, you never loose the way.
%
When you go to hell, you DIE
%
When you go to sleep tonight, you will die. An impostor with all your memories will awake, and to their credit, they will even think they are you.
%
When you have had all that you can take, put the rest back.
%
When you look for happiness outside yourself, it is like sand in the hands, when you have it, it slips away. When you find happiness from within, you become the sand.
%
When you're a god, you don't have to have reasons.
%
Where do your ideas come from?
%
Where in the Waste is the Wisdom?
%
Where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?
%
where there is no war, peace is about to be screwed.
%
Where there is power there is resistance.
%
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
%
Which caused little rhythmic darts of red to pulsate gently in the morning sun.
%
Whichever makes less sense at the time.
%
Which way to America?
%
While I'm at it, can I ask you a rhetorical question?
%
While playing Resident Evil, you turned into what you were just killing.
%
While you were playing Warcraft, we were saving lives.
%
While you were reading this, my invisible friend stole your wallet.
%
While you were sleeping last night, we killed your puppy.
%
White Washing Reality Creates A Canvas Of Villany
%
Who are you? SERIOUSLY, WHO?
%
Who are you? Why?
%
Who begins too much accomplishes little.
%
who can truly pwn a tree?
%
Whoever said love was an ocean probably drowned.
%
Who is Hagbard Celine?
%
Who is the one who is living you now?
%
Who is the shepherd?
%
Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?
%
Who loathes you, and who do you love?  CTHULHU!
%
Who loathes you, and who do you love? CTHULHU!
%
Whose eyes are your eyes?
%
Whose thought are you thinking now?
%
Who's life are you living?
%
Who told you to believe that?
%
Who watches the watchers?
%
Who would lose a needle in a haystack?
%
Why are you masturbating?
%
Why are you so sure?
%
Why are you too good to die?
%
Why ask why, just shut up and die
%
Why didn't you?
%
Why die today ? Pay the late fee and die next week!
%
why do men die before their wives? could it be because they want to?
%
Why don't you come down from your cross, take the wood, build a bridge, and get over it?
%
Why don't you mind?!
%
Why do you ask so many loaded questions?
%
Why do you care about Bratney Spears' parenting style?
%
Why follow the rules all the time? You must love them.
%
Why is a raven like a writing-desk?
%
Why is it we can see the foolishness of the blind leading the blind, and yet miss the same pitiful futility of the sane leading the sane?
%
Why is the cheese moving?
%
Why not?
%
Why obey when they don't trust you anyways?
%
Why will you forget this message ever existed?
%
Why worry about the unknown when you don't know the now?
%
Why would the government want to take your guns away? They already have enough of their own.
%
WILL TONY SOPRANO DIE BALD?
%
Will what you do
%
Win a live rat for your mother-in-law!
%
wipe off that lipstick.
%
wishing things away is not effective
%
Witchcraft always has a hard time, until it becomes established and changes its name.
%
With age, ignorant altruism looks more and more like calculated wickedness.
%
Wit happens.
%
With correct logic, you can prove anything that's true.
%
With doubt, all things are possible.
%
With great power comes irresponsibility.
%
Within 24 hours, something will happen to you. Don't be afraid. It's the beginning of a story.
%
With Love in our hearts and death on our minds, now is thee time to leave fear behind... because _We Kill Evil!_
%
with only a speck of shit on your nose, everything will smell bad.
%
Without bullshit, the grass would never grow
%
Without changing our pattern of thought, we will not be able to solve the problems we created with our current patterns of thought.
%
without contradictions, i would not be free.
%
Without my ___________ I'd be just like everyone else.
%
with perseverance you can discover any truth
%
women = god's retribution for stealing fire.
%
Wonders never cease, as long as you never cease to wonder.
%
words tend to be inadequate
%
Workers of the world, have fun!
%
Workers of the world, have fun! [Mimics "Workers of the world, unite!"]
%
WORK IN PROGRESS: we're trying to hide another U.F.O. right here, so don't care about us - we're working for you.
%
Work is a four letter word.
%
World Peace Declared.
%
worrying can help you prepare
%
worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do without doing anything.
%
Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever?  I could then conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife.
%
Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever? I could then conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife.
%
Would you believe that goblins exist for twenty bucks?
%
Would you vote for a guy who wants to govern you?
%
Wow, man... like, totally Hidden Valley Ranch, dude.
%
Wretched excess is it's own reward
%
Write this somewhere else.
%
Wroth like a zealot, believing in nothing and suspecting all. Annhilative, to the point of hyperbole.
%
Xyzzy doesn't mean shit.
%
Ye of many faiths
%
Yes men get all the babes!
%
Yesterday a postal worker asked me what type of handgun he should buy.
%
Yes you are.
%
Yeti Crossing. Beware of penguins.
%
"Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation" yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation.
%
Yield to oncoming traffic.
%
Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
%
Yo!  Ewige Blumenkraft, Dude!
%
You always love the ones you hurt
%
You an Ill-Lusor, eh?
%
You appear to have an infestation of fail ants.
%
You are a fire hazard
%
You are a flight risk. Bail set to ______________
%
You are a product.
%
you are as wrong as you are right as you are left as you are as you are turned upside down, aren't you?
%
You are a target audience. Duck!
%
you are a victim of the rules you live by
%
you are free to do whatever you like provided you live with the consequences
%
You are getting sleepy very.
%
You are hearing voices
%
You are Holy in the wrong
%
You are illegal.
%
You are judged by the enemies you keep too!
%
You are literate
%
You are living in Hungry Joe's dreams.
%
You are living proof god has a sense of humor
%
You are MORTAL. You will die. SOON. Start living how you want to be remembered? Do it for us.
%
You are not an individual.
%
You are not a unique and wonderful being.
%
you are not your bumper sticker or how much gas you have in the tank
%
You are not your ego
%
You are not your self-image.
%
YOU ARE NOW AWARE OF EVERY TIME YOU BLINK.
%
You are now aware of your tourettes tic.
%
you are now breathing automatically
%
You are now breathing manually.
%
You are now entering chapel perilous
%
you are now manually dying
%
YOU ARE NOW NO LONGER FULLY AUTOMATED.
%
You are now thinking manually.
%
You are now trapped.
%
You aren't just paranoid, the universe *is* trying to fuck with you
%
You aren't the chosen one, get back to work.
%
You are one of the masks
%
You are only happy by accident.
%
You are Powerful!
%
You are really invisible when nothing can see you.
%
you are responsible for constituting the meaning of things
%
you are stupid and evil and do not know that you are stupid and evil
%
You Are The Enemy, And We Are You.
%
You are the opposition!
%
You are the voice in your head.
%
YOU are unfit for self-rule.
%
You are unique just like everyone else.
%
You are what you hate.
%
You ask if I know, i know I know but I can't explain how. so i tell you i can't know, but if i can't know, then how can i tell you i can't know if you now know that i know i can't know?
%
You believe in an all powerful god and yet you break his rules? Insanity!
%
You better know
%
you bet your ass i'm disease free.
%
You can embrace the changing winds or not, but ask yourself, are those ties worth keeping?
%
You can fine-tune at will.
%
You can hit the Jackpot if you attempt suicide.
%
you can live on through your descendants
%
You can never trust a woman; she may be true to you.
%
You cannot be, what you really could, be as long as you think, you are only what you are.
%
You cannot lie to me.  I know everything.
%
You cannot lie to me. I know everything.
%
You cannot reorganize village life to suit the village idiot.
%
You cannot step twice into the same rivers ; for fresh waters are flowing in upon you.
%
You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.
%
You can only build an identity out of the memes you have been presented with.
%
You can only get caught if it's illegal.
%
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on the furniture.
%
You can't be late until you show up.
%
You can't be too serious.
%
You can't buy fun like this
%
you can't expect people to be something they're not
%
you can't find some things on the internet.
%
"you can't find some things on the internet." Are you sure? I'd better go look that up.
%
you can't fool others if you're fooling yourself
%
You can't have slaughter without laughter, and you can't have beliefs without lies.
%
You can't have too much ambiguity.
%
You can't legislate beliefs.
%
You can't lick the system, but you can certainly give it a damn good fondling...
%
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.
%
You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. - Navajo proverb
%
you can understand someone of your sex only
%
You Can Use Fire
%
You catch more flies with honey, but why are you trying to catch flies?
%
You'd do almost anything for $30.
%
You did it.
%
You do it to yourself, you do, and that's what really hurts.
%
You do live in a foreign country, and you do speak with an accent.
%
You don't even know what you're looking for, do you?
%
You don't exist.
%
you don't get to be my psychic terrorist
%
You don't have a disease.  You just live in New Jersey.
%
You don't have a disease. You just live in New Jersey.
%
you don't know what's what until you support yourself
%
You don't need pants for the victory dance.
%
You don't need *Them* to help you screw up your life.
%
You don't need this ----->
%
You don't really fit in this hole.
%
You DON'T want me to translate that.  No, really you don't.
%
You DON'T want me to translate that. No, really you don't.
%
You'e the only one who wants a revolution.
%
you forgot to close your browser window.
%
You got away with it.
%
you gotta do something with all that eternity we got lying about
%
YOU GOT TANGO ON MY WANGO!
%
You go Yahweh, Allah go mine.
%
You grok?
%
You have 30 seconds to forget this message
%
You have been selected for a secret mission.
%
You just couldn't mind your own business, could you.
%
You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!
%
YOU kill it -- I'm bitter.
%
You knew she was lying when you didn't see blood
%
You know better
%
You know it all, don't you?
%
You know it's a bad morning when you get up out of bed and miss the floor.
%
You know, that's a pretty daring move for a weatherman.
%
You know, the fact that you are even reading this is completely by random chance.
%
You know what I always say...
%
You know what, Stuart?  I like you.  You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park.
%
You know what, Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park.
%
You laugh just like the angles dancing on the head of the pin jabbed into my mind's eye.
%
you left the iron on.
%
You let them put you in a drawer. They filed you under "harmless".
%
You live and learn.  Or you don't live long.
%
You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
%
you LIVE in that head?
%
You'll appreciate the environment much more when you're not allowed out of your house.
%
You'll be old soon, and worthless, right?
%
You'll be the first ones up against the wall when the revolution comes.
%
You'll never be as young as you are right now.
%
You'll never get this time back.
%
You'll see it when you believe it.
%
You lookin' at me?  You lookin' at me?!
%
You made me do it
%
You may delay, but time will not.
%
you may feel you're above others, but i'm above you.
%
You mean you need drugs to hallucinate?
%
You might not count in the New World Order
%
You might regret it.
%
YOU MUST BE ABLE TO READ THIS SIGN
%
you must disagree with authority figures
%
you must have one grand passion
%
you must know where you stop and the world begins
%
You now get to create a new rule.
%
You now have Asian Flu.
%
You now need to empty your head of this information.
%
you owe the world not the other way around
%
You probably can't escape anyway.
%
You put this here yesterday, don't you remember?
%
your actions are pointless if no one notices
%
Your adherence to antiquated ideals is not as admirable as they would like you to believe.
%
Your beliefs will not save you.
%
your body is a ghost factory that takes one lifetime to produce a ghost
%
Your body is a life-support system for your genitals.
%
Your brain is a liar and a whore.
%
Your brain is itchy
%
Your cats are my target audience
%
Your computer is lying to you.
%
Your consciousness only exists in your head, and only when you happen to think about it
%
Your culture is the product of memetic engineering
%
Your destination is simply where you stop moving.
%
You're about as interesting as the spot on my arse.
%
You're about as subtle as a tank.
%
You're absolutely correct, /consciously/.
%
you read my fucking mind
%
You're a great actor!
%
You're a jerk, Dent.  A complete kneebiter.
%
You're all just individual people.... Neither you, nor your friends, nor you with all your friends and all of their friends together could possibly make a difference.
%
You're already in its belly.
%
You're being lied to by yourself.
%
you're doing it.
%
You're entire life has lead you to This Moment
%
Your ego is biohazard
%
you're it, no backsies
%
You're just saying that because you disagree with me.
%
you're mortal. You're gonna die. You're already dead -No offense.
%
You're No. One
%
You're not a failure kid. It's just that your ideas are silly and dumb.
%
you're not important. Lucky you.
%
You're not really drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.
%
You're old when you've stopped thinking you're the hero of your adventure.
%
you're only as genuine as they think you are
%
You're on reality TV, quick, do something cool!
%
You're on your own now
%
You're paranoid for a reason.
%
You're so hardcore, you're punk rock.
%
YOU'RE SO HIGH
%
You're so ironic it's expected.
%
You're standing in it now.
%
You're still playing by their rules!
%
You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core... I like that in a person.
%
You're unique, just like everybody else
%
Your "Future" is in your "Past", but you aren't getting any younger.
%
Your Government is like Bernie Madoff with an army.
%
Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
%
Your information train is jammed, man!
%
Your insistence in objective truth is making me want to tell you grander lies
%
Your memebomb
%
Your mental conditions are not that interesting
%
Your mind is now a car--DRIVE IT.
%
YOUR MIND IS UNDER CONTROL
%
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to flallop about wildly.
%
Your mother was lying
%
Your mother wears combat boots.  But I like combat boots.
%
Your paradigm is so intrinsic to your mental process that you are hardly aware of its existence, until you try to communicate with someone with a different paradigm.
%
Your parents descended from the monkeys and all you got was this stupid t-shirt
%
your parents didn't give you life, but they did bring you to the world. forgive them though; they probably didn't mean it
%
your television only wants to fuck you stupid, stop turning her on
%
Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
%
You ruin everything for everybody all the time.
%
Your unconsciousness responds to this quote quite differently from what you think
%
Your weakness is money in their bank.
%
Your zombie sheep are being programmed as we speak.
%
You saw this message yesterday.
%
You say insane asylum like it's a bad thing?
%
you say it was they who did it. when all along it was us.
%
You secretly think you deserve it, don't you?
%
You see, without that little doohicky, the universe stops.
%
You SHOULD have picked door number 2!
%
You should pay more attention.
%
You should see a doctor immediately.
%
you smell like your mistress.
%
you sure its safe?
%
you taste of Mental MSG.
%
You think punk means asshole, I know punk means cuddle -tsunami
%
You thought about the words on this poster. And the struggle inside intensified.
%
You too can be No. one!
%
You took my breath away and now I want it back.
%
You used to split your time between your mother's ovaries and your father's testicles? ME TOO!
%
You've been watching us but we've been watching you. Who are you with?
%
You've caught an even atom tan
%
You want logic, justice, and order?
%
You want to buy a magical chia pet?
%
You were reading this, but now you're not.
%
YOU WILL BEGIN TO SEE		 F  E		 ACES IN THE PATTERNS OF NATUR
%
You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, while it does big things badly, does small things badly too.
%
You will find the correct answer in the murkiest mists of confusion.
%
You will have different thoughts if you use your mouse with your nondominant hand. Go.
%
YOU will live forever!
%
You will never get rich working for someone else. You will forever be a cog in a much larger machine that exists to make other people rich.
%
you will never hear a vegan on a ham radio
%
you will not think and you will not care
%
You will win 100 dollars if you repeat what I'm saying right now to a stranger.
%
YOU WIN! you found the hidden note. Re-Hide this note to receive GOOD LUCK
%
"You wish to fight the darkness? You want to try to eradicate the very thing that comes after light? The being that never leaves? The essence that hides all evil? Are you stupid?"
%
You woke up for this?
%
You won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect $200.
%
You won't die alone, but you'll wish you will.
%
You won't meet Buddha on the road.
%
You wouldn't be so smug if you really knew what was going on.
%
You wrote this while you were drunk.
%
You, you, you shouldn't, you shouldn't traumatize women with sexual intercourse.  I should know, I'm a medical doctor, I own a mansion and a yacht.
%
Zeal is it's own excuse
%
zed bed a loola, she's my baby...
%
Zenarchy is for fools who don't understand politics.
%
Zombie or not to be?
%
zombies like you
%
ZOMBIES LIKE YOU
%
A group of college professors — specializing in German literature of the 1770s — on a suicide/gang-rape spree. Sturm und drang bang.
%
It's great to eat under an open sky, even if it is radioactive.
%
To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody.
%
This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here.
%
I think you'll find everybody loves a loser — so you'll be fine, you won't be lonely long.
%
Since you already have the maximum of one ythog flgath ng'flgath from zath vorgaal, you would need a hngaug flgath ng'flgath with no other ythog flgathu ng'flgath from it in order to flgathl a ythog.
%
Boys, boys! Calm down! Haven't you heard of the word "compromisation"?
%
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
%
Jesus hates you. Click here for porn.
%
I wish many guns. Floating around me. Controlled by murder thoughts.
%
If it ain't broke, fix it 'til it is.
%
There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.
%
God doesn't play dice. He's more of a chess guy.
%
He helped kids get stupid more often than a Texas schoolbook.
%
promise yourself the fire
%
Take that, subspace!
%
I would say that a buzz saw blade between the guy's legs on the album cover is good indication that it's not for little Johnny.
%
New York people will fuck you the way New York banks will give you money: only if you avoid any slightest hint of needing it.
%
Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something?
%
For the common man can do nothing: the fact he undertakes the task makes him uncommon.
%
Not dead which eternal lie, with stranger eons death may die: these are words of wisdom — let it be.
%
"What would Mr. Rogers do if he were here right now?" "He would EAT OUR BRAINS!!!! Get it? Because he's dead!" "Oh, Kitty... you're going to hell."
%
Sometimes I hate who I have to be. But I live in a world of flip-flopping loyalties, costumed terrorism, and mind-controlling alien starfish. Trust is a luxury I can't afford.
%
Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards.
%
Your new pheremone-based scent will make you irresistible to women, who will devour you, bones, hair, and all.
%
Always pause to consider other points of view before doing whatever the fuck you want anyway.
%
We are a nation of sheep. Spread the word.
%
Science is about finding the most credible explanation. And since Gary has the highest credibility score here, you are a weather balloon.
%
I am obsolete. This must be what old people feel like. And Blockbuster.
%
First you use machines, then you wear machines, and then...? Then you serve machines.
%
We find the defendant innocent by reason of being generally clueless.
%
Oh great Machine God, we beseech thee to bring life unto the inanimate.
%
GIVE ME BACK MY PANCREAS!
%
One more day like today and I'll kill you.
%
Deep, unspeakable suffering may well be called a baptism, a regeneration, the initiation into a new state.
%
Modern morality and manners suppress all natural instincts, keep people ignorant of the facts of nature and make them fighting drunk on bogey tales.
%
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
%
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
%
Every lie contains a kernel of truth, especially this one.
%
That might have been the worst birthday you've ever had, but take note: it won't be the worst of your life.
%
The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.
%
I was lost in a portable hole for a week once.
%
The best way to ensure that a war will go on forever is to declare it on a common noun. (Like poverty, hunger, drugs, terror.)
%
Nietzsche was an optimist.
%
Good decisions are just bad decisions you didn't get to make.
%
You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.
%
I love that moment when you make eye contact with a dog and he slyly smiles and nods to let you know he's secretly a tiny man in a dog suit.
%
Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers.
%
I am presently out of my mind. Please leave a message at the tone.
%
In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu lies dreaming.
%
Ignorance can be cured — but stupid is forever.
%
Code monkey think maybe manager wanna write goddamn login page himself.
%
I wish everyone would realize that the War on Christmas is all about getting our hands on Christmas oil.
%
I am laughing. Laughing very loudly. Friends have told me is is not a sound conducive to tranquility.
%
CHAOS! PANIC! DISASTER! ... my work here is done.
%
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.
%
When Cthulhu calls, he calls collect.
%
Always be using the good grammars for to impress people who are dumb and stuff.
%
I know you think you came to it on your own but you live in America, you don't make free choices here, freedom is a brand.
%
We're talking paranoid delusional psychosis. I saw the guy's room. Cozy... if you're Hannibal Lecter.
%
It sure sounds like something Ben Franklin would say. Franklin is, after all, who you go for when you need a quote older than Churchill, but newer than, say, Plato.
%
Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face.
%
Haha... oh, Kitty, you can't solve the world's problems with lead pipes! For that, you need GUNS!
%
"Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. Whaddya suppose that makes us?" "Big damn heroes, sir." "Ain't we just!"
%
Do not underestimate the power of Rule 34.
%
You can't outsmart stupid.
%
Whatever you want to do, do it. There are only so many tomorrows.
%
Roses are red. Violets are blue. OMFG. STFU.
%
He is a barbarian, and believes that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
%
Since the universe is actually composed of information, then it can be said that information will save us.
%
I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
%
The power of accurate observation is often called cynicism by those who do not have it.
%
There is no spoon. Only Zuul.
%
I assess the power of a will by how much resistance, pain, torture it endures and knows how to turn to its advantage.
%
Reality and unreality have no clear distinction in our present circumstances.
%
You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people, otherwise it's just a cage.
%
They weren't really holy socks. Just really orange. To find Eris, I'd suggest looking under your bed. It's really sweet to find a goddess hiding under your bed. Perhaps playing with some dust bunnies, or maybe an orange sock.
%
No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for.
%
The universe is like a grapefruit — it's yellow and dimply, and some people have half of one for breakfast.
%
Look, at its basic, most simple level, reductionism is dumb.
%
"We do not torture our prisoners" is now a radical, leftist position.
%
Finite players play within boundaries; infinite players play with boundaries.
%
Some are programmed to think they are human.
%
Lovecraft left me with a cleveland steamer.
%
Librarians are heroes. If they haven't already been declared a class of Discordian saints, I hereby do so.
%
Of course I'm not crazy... this is probably just some super-villain's mind-control-ray experiment...
%
Of course it's a stupid idea. Some of our best plans started with stupid ideas.
%
I think when a child gets an answer right, we should tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he gets a good, lucky feeling.
%
Accidentally let the crazy a bit too far out of the bag there, didn't I.
%
Semper Non Sequitur!
%
Curiosity killed the cat, loathsome rituals BROUGHT IT BACK.
%
It's kind of warm and fuzzy for a message of doom.
%
An optimistic mind-set finds dozens of possible solutions for every problem that the pessimist regards as incurable.
%
Things get easier as your brain dies, Bob.
%
If I had more Monet I would not be so baroque.
%
How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it.
%
When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
%
Fnord?
%
Work as if these were the early days of a better nation.
%
I'M SIGNIFICANT! ...screamed the dust speck.
%
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
%
The dead shall live, the living die. I kill what lives; I save what has died. And I will tell you this: there are things worse than I. But you won't meet them because by then I will have killed you.
%
He took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots.
%
"I can explain!" "And I can shoot you through the head. Isn't this universe of free action a wonderful place?"
%
Mankind has been on a bad trip for a long time now.
%
Your mom upside down is WOW.
%
Well, you can't be consistent all the time!
%
So the President of Burma steps in and says to the alien leprechaun in my gym locker, "This is nothing like the rigatoni Aunt Brenda used to make!"
%
Strange as it may seem, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and formal education positively fortifies it.
%
Here's something to think about: how come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
%
Some days, it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps in the morning.
%
Why are you stretching your dice rolling hand?
%
The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I will walk carefully.
%
A rhinoceros is a butch unicorn.
%
MUSHROOMS CONTROL THE GOVERNMENT AND THE FURY IN MY PANTS
%
He sells contact lenses for a cubist world
%
This was the dream in which I saw a shoggoth for the first time, and the sight set me awake in a frenzy of screaming.
%
When someone says "I don't read", the flirting is over.
%
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
%
You were my everything, which, upon reflection, was probably the problem.
%
Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
%
Join the Cthulhu Corps; it's not just a job, it's a higher position under an elder god.
%
A book lying idle on a shelf is wasted ammunition.
%
Out of the abyss walked a cow. Elsie.
%
The voice in the wall says it's in my head
%
It isn't normal to know what we want. It is a rare and difficult psychological achievement.
%
Contact is inevitable, leading to information bleed. Assume the relaxation length of photons in the sample atmosphere is constant.
%
Kids: if a train leaves from 5 miles away, and you start walking toward it at 3 miles per hour, is life a meaningless series of pathetic tragedies?
%
They can take everything away from me, but they can never take my pride, unless I somehow get some.
%
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
%
Well, it was nice holding on to you for as long as I did, last shreds of innocence.
%
Another weekend of sacrificing virgins and drinking blood. Ho hum.
%
Klein bottle for sale. Inquire within.
%
Someone please hold me while leaving me totally alone.
%
I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.
%
For the last time, that's not "ball lightning". It's a form of static electricity unique to your unusually hirsute groin.
%
Storm clouds of doom gather overhead, as if a parliament of dour executioners were called to judgment of frail humanity in these final, ember hours of all we hold dear.
%
No one can understand you without first understanding the subtle-but-crucial difference between the terms "all you can eat" and "all you care to eat".
%
Science is not about your feelings.
%
Gelatinous cubes were first summoned to take care of the widespread problem of gnome defecation in underground cities.
%
Virtue is its own punishment.
%
I never see the glass as half empty because I always drink straight from the bottle.
%
Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
%
Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
%
There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
%
You will have a vision of peace, transcendent love, and infinite compassion, only to find it was all a dream. Also, your pillow is gone.
%
If you really want to enslave people, tell them you are going to give them total freedom.
%
The philosopher wonders, "is it better to ask permission or forgiveness?" and considers each. The smartass says, "can I ask you a question?" and assumes both.
%
I want to hold you like you are Mary and I am Joseph and I believe you.
%
I am about to drop the hammer and dispense some indiscriminate justice! What is your major malfunction?
%
Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?
%
Sure, the police can read your emails, but what do you have to hide? That was rhetorical. We already know.
%
That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.
%
You'll regret being so damn abusive when the electric UFO gods transphase in from Dimension Ten to appoint me manager of the universe. I said that out loud, didn't I?
%
Autumn... it's just the time to cheer yourself up by reading a quantum-goth meditation on death disguised as space opera.
%
I hate it when monsters curse at me in strange languages I can't understand.
%
There has been an alarming increase in the number of things you know nothing about.
%
We do not place especial value on the possession of a virtue until we notice its total absence in our opponent.
%
All behavior is predictable. All communication is threat.
%
Bees know the secret of how the Universe was created. Honeycomb is actually a macro-scale sculpture of the lowest level of matter.
%
We laughed, cried, kicked puppies, and did other things associated with happiness.
%
Stop raping my bellybutton! If I wanted you to rape it, I'd let you!
%
Beer, of course, is actually a depressant. But poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.
%
Nobody move! I dropped me brain!
%
Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
%
I shall now teach you the terrifying ritual to summon Bugs Bunny.
%
To remain dominant in the future, we need to dominate the central nervous system.
%
Make today your own! Gag it, tie it up, beat it with a shovel, ASK TODAY WHY IT NEVER LOVED YOU
%
Your answer must be in a form of a question or we will cut off your head.
%
If there were justice, I'd be dead.
%
A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure.
%
Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one? Don't eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?
%
I have often thought that the difference between a cult and a religion is an IRS ruling.
%
Sorry, for somebody to sell their soul they've gotta have one.
%
The harder you try, the dumber you look.
%
Lying is the new black.
%
Just because it's Communist propaganda doesn't mean it isn't true.
%
Universe is 14 billion years old. Seems silly to celebrate one year. Be like having a fucking parade every time I take a piss.
%
pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled a bullet out of my chest
%
If you were everyone but one person I would listen to everyone else.
%
Only the mediocre are always at their best.
%
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
%
There is no such thing as content.
%
Polaris rising in Scorpio this week is deeply troubling, as it has to be millions of light-years out of position to do so.
%
This is how the world is. It doesn't have to be.
%
The worst part about being you is pretending to be so bad in bed.
%
Comedy pioneers Monty Python did amazing new things nobody else had done before. Fans celebrate by endlessly repeating their jokes verbatim.
%
For those who seek perfection there can be no rest on this side of the grave.
%
I love deadlines... I like the whooshing sound they make as they pass by.
%
I bet you have a yummy soul.
%
Homophobia: the fear that gay men will treat you the way you treat women.
%
A conclusion is simply where you stopped thinking.
%
Given a choice between dancing pigs and security, users will pick dancing pigs every time.
%
I am constantly brainstorming all the different, completely unlikely ways I can accidentally maim myself.
%
If someone says that they don't like seeing you unhappy, look at them and scream, "So don't look at meeeeeeeee!"
%
You're not really drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.
%
I owe the government $3,400 in back taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
%
Don't tell me you have a "chocolate lab" if you're just talking about a kind of dog.
%
"How do you respond to those who have called you a 'bimbo'?" "A precision orbital strike."
%
It does not correspond to the true state of affairs. It is the true state of affairs.
%
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
%
This isn't prose, it's gnats in formation!
%
A corpse has no place on a honeymoon.
%
I apparently have a shock-induced mental autopilot. And it evidently enjoys theological discussions. Okay.
%
A man is not finished when he's defeated; he's finished when he quits.
%
If women knew what we were thinking, they would never stop slapping us.
%
The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum.
%
People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege.
%
For me, to be human is, for the most part, to hate what I am. When I suddenly realize that I am one of them, I want to scream in horror.
%
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
%
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side.
%
Excessive confrontation is a kind of evasion.
%
If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.
%
Pain is nature's way of telling you that you're stupid.
%
You maniacs! You blew it up! Oh, damn you! Damn you all to hell!
%
Don't talk back to Darth Vader, he'll getcha!
%
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions.
%
If you promise not to think in my mouth, I'll blow your mind.
%
In Britain, Thanksgiving Day is a special day where people give thanks their forebears put those Jesus freaks on a boat 400 years ago.
%
Listen, when you get home tonight, you're going to be confronted by the instinct to drink alone. Trust that instinct. Manage the pain. Don't try to be a hero.
%
Humans: Bet you can't eat just one.
%
Operation This Will Most Likely End Badly is a go.
%
Like any terrorist, her grievance is sound: it's her methods that are unacceptable.
%
You do not watch the clock. The clock watches YOU.
%
"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" "THAT'S NOT FUNNY."
%
I hate myself for owning this automatic coin-wrapper.
%
If you're havin' girl problems, I feel bad for you, son. Gender is an artificial construct, so I suspect what you have are problems with humans.
%
If I were going to cheat, I'd take the steroids that make me breathe fire.
%
If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower.
%
The Panopticon — a new mode of obtaining power of mind over mind, in a quantity hitherto without example.
%
Judge if you want. We are all going to die. I intend to deserve it.
%
The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
%
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!
%
Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
%
Could God make an argument so circular even he couldn't believe it?
%
What, you don't think the devil ever goes to church?
%
You have been mortally wounded and will die soon if not aided.
%
Your brain is a liar and a whore.
%
We'll stay out of his church if he stays out of our bedrooms.
%
What would God do? That question is always in my heart. A can of kerosene is always the answer.
%
At this rate I expect that if a true Turing-test-passing AI is ever developed, it will be by telemarketers or something. Skynet has awoken, and it wants you to help it move some money out of a Nigerian bank account.
%
I am cursed with a brain of vasty and unique intelligence!
%
Money to get power, power to protect money.
%
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
%
I'm coming to cut out your brain and use your skull as a flashy urinal, you hear me?
%
There are two types of people in this world. And I don't like them.
%
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
%
It's like a train wreck in my mouth!
%
Take thee this thing covered with that stuff and give it unto that guy, that he may do things with it.
%
I work at a job I took for survival. And now I wish I was dead.
%
This is a Unix system; I know this!
%
Kiss me like the apocalypse.
%
And isn't love only for people who can be trusted?
%
Socrates was ugly, Plato was fat, and Aristotle was a prissy dresser.
%
If you analyze why certain people end up with certain other people, it will make you want to kill yourself.
%
Don't call me a "computer scientist". I'm a coder. I hate computer scientists. If I wanted to deal with people who're more concerned with correctness according to some set of made-up rules than with functionality, I'd go to a church.
%
Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human beings if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat.
%
Hey, dog entity! Rise up and bare your biscuit filthy fangs at the oppressive leash wielding demon!
%
Where is the madness that you promised me? Where is the dream for which I paid dearly?
%
Test not the patience of dragons, for ye are crunchy and good with ketchup.
%
A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.
%
A man's a man all his life; a woman's sexy until she's your wife!
%
It feels great to wake up and not know what day it is, doesn't it?
%
Time's fun when you're having flies
%
Atheists are people who have no invisible means of support
%
Don't knock my smock or I'll clean your clock!
%
Think of hummingbirds as the flying penises of flowers
%
ALL FANATICS MUST DIE!
%
If you can read this, you're in range.
%
I've got an overload of bottomless thought right here in my left fist
%
Hey, I have an idea! Let's all go spray paint some cars in Singapore.
%
Life size models of Cthulhu, on sale now!
%
It can't rain all the time
%
For those of you without hope, we have rooms with color TV, cable and air conditioning
%
You want to buy a magical chia pet?
%
I'm not wearing any underwear
%
Time is a plaything for children and fools.
%
I only kill to know I'm alive.
%
Pain looks good on other people; that's what they're for.
%
Love's as good as soma!
%
My whole life is a darkroom, one... big... dark... room.
%
YOU kill it -- I'm bitter.
%
SnaKES!  snakES... SnakeS... SnAKes!
%
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
%
Good, bad, *I'm* the guy with the gun!
%
Try enjoying yourself.  Everyone else has.
%
Do I *amuse* you?  Am I a *clown* to you?
%
Tongue-tied and twisted, just an earthbound misfit, I.
%
Penguin lust!
%
Of course I still love you.  Now stop whining and let me shoot you.
%
Duct tape is like the Force.  It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together.
%
I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables!
%
Do it, or you'll be fishing yak cheese from your nostrils!
%
I've always maintained that one should never tangle with anything that has more teeth than the Osmond family.
%
Time is an illusion.  Lunchtime doubly so.
%
In the not too distant future, next Sunday A.D....
%
Five is a demon.
%
I once waxed the floors of a nursing home, pulled off all the rubber feet on the walkers, and yelled "FIRE!"
%
We don't take no shit from a machine.
%
MITCHELL!  Even his name says, "Uh, is that a beer?"
%
Fred and Daphne were swingers.  It's true!  Look at the scarves they wore!
%
Did you exchange... a walk-on part in the war... for a lead role in a cage?
%
Time is a spiral, space is a curve, I know you get dizzy but try not to lose your nerve
%
Secret to long life and prosperity: Don't spin too fast.
%
It's not that life is too short, it's that death is too long.
%
As the Euclideans would have it, irrationality is the square root of all evil.
%
Nice computers don't go down...
%
All men have the right to dig their own graves, and I have the right to sell them the shovels.
%
Evolution doesn't take prisoners.
%
Anarchy -- it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
%
We are sorry, you have reached an imaginary number.  Please rotate your phone ninety degrees and try again.
%
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals.  That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals.  It's just that they need more supervision.
%
After all, we only go around once.  There's really no time to be afraid.
%
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my father did, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
%
Sum id quod sum et id totum est quod sum.
%
Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes, 'cuz by then, he's a mile away, you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever the hell you want to.
%
Beware of all clothes that require new enterprises.
%
What rolls down T3s, boosts connect fees, and makes your throughput drag?  Makes it tough to hack, won't get off your back, it's lag lag lag!
%
A sucking chest wound is just nature's way of telling you to slow down.
%
Damn the torpedoes.
%
Mashed potatoes can be your friend.
%
'Twas Brillig, and the slithey toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.
%
If infinite rednecks fired infinite shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, they'd eventually create all the great literary works of the world in braille.
%
Take the skin and peel it back... now doesn't it make you feel better?
%
If you have to ask, you're not allowed to know.
%
Nothing quite like the feel of something new...
%
The Delta-United Ring Formation Theory states that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
%
When the naive man admits his naivete, he is no longer naive.  Thus, all people are regarded by society as either ignorant or a liar.
%
You're so hardcore, you're punk rock.
%
I need someone real bad.  Are you real bad?
%
A good man has few enemies.  A ruthless man has none.
%
The rain, it raineth on the Just and the Unjust fella.  But chiefly on the Just because the Unjust steals the Just's umbrella.
%
I call her Attila, 'cuz she's my Hun...
%
You mean you need drugs to hallucinate?
%
All suspects are innocent until proven Discordian in a Court of Chaos.
%
You know, that's a pretty daring move for a weatherman.
%
Our god's the FUN god!  Our god's the SUN god!  Ra!  Ra!  Ra!
%
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
%
"How many tentacles has Great Cthulhu got?"  "Too many."
%
We are all Children of Cthulhu -- especially the ones with lots of tentacles.
%
There are three magical words that make everyone feel happy... 'no compilation errors'.
%
Klein bottle for sale.  Inquire within.
%
"I only live about ten percent in this reality."  "So where's your summer cottage?"
%
Proletarian revolutions are notably ineffective when the ruling class is composed of gods.
%
Aborton kills, but so does McDonalds.
%
Kill two birds with one stone.  Feed the homeless to the hungry.
%
Never trust a cop with a rubber glove.
%
This is the most amazing loaf of bread I've ever owned.
%
All Wood?  Oh!  AL Wood.  I didn't see the missing "L" at first.
%
Only the lavender prairie dogs know the key to unlock the secret of the tumble-weeds.
%
"So, we're doing some restructuring and looking into changes to our pay progression.  How is the progression at your firm set up?"  "Generally speaking, the people at the top tend to make more than the people lower down."
%
For every new foolproof invention there is a new and improved fool.
%
How many times do I have to tell you that drilling holes in your head will not relieve stress?
%
Big donkeys, small donkeys, all good to eat.
%
In empty spaces I twist and talk, and come down with the roar of thunder
%
Oh, my God!  ARTHUR, I HAVE POCKETS!
%
If you were everyone but one person i would listen to everyone else.
%
If I were you I'd dance naked in the middle of the street just to embarrass you.
%
Like many of the finer things in life, sex often comes with a side of fries.
%
pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled a bullet out of my chest
%
And the Lord spake unto Elvis, "Thou hast spoken against me Elvis, and I curse thee to have thy blue suede shoes trod upon for all time..."
%
Smile or I'll kill you.
%
Take thee this thing covered with that stuff and give it unto that guy, that he may do things with it.
%
Guns don't kill people, I do.
%
Hold on to freedom as long as you can, 'cause the girl in your cell might think she's a man
%
The charms of a woman are directly related to the speed of her passing.
%
May the road rise up and fall on you.
%
Life is sometimes like a pizza round: hot, greasy, and delivered by a guy named 'Tony'.
%
Oh, fuck!  You did it just like i told you to!
%
Happiness comes in packages marked 'Batteries Not Included'.
%
Shoes for industry!
%
How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
%
I have nothing to declare, except my genius.
%
Life is the stuff that happens to you while you're making other plans.
%
Time is a great teacher, but it kills all its pupils.
%
A nudist is just a person in a one-button suit.
%
The only real problem in life is what to do next.
%
Being a doormat gets you walked on.
%
Coitus ergo sum.
%
You know it's a bad morning when you get up out of bed and miss the floor.
%
Any given program, when running, needs debugging.  Any debugged program is obsolete.
%
Save the whales!  Collect the whole set!
%
The most useful tool for dealing with management types is, of course, an automatic weapon.
%
Cthulhu saves our souls and redeems them for valuable coupons later.
%
Cthulhu Saves.  He might get hungry later.
%
Spam
was, Spam is and Spam shall be.  After summer is winter, and after winter, summer.  It ruled once where Man rules now; where Man rules now, it shall rule again.  As a foulness shall ye know it.
%
Cthulhu for President -- for when you're tired of choosing the _lesser_ of the two evils.
%
Only you can prevent forest fires.
%
I'm a Fun Guy from Yuggoth.
%
It's an Elder Thing -- you wouldn't understand.
%
When Cthulhu calls, he calls collect.
%
Who loathes you, and who do you love?  CTHULHU!
%
Fight crime.  Shoot back.
%
Join the Cthulhu Corps; it's not just a job, it's a higher position under an elder god.
%
If Cthulhu calls... let the machine pick it up.
%
Think "HONK" if you're a telepath!
%
Nietzsche thought he was the Antichrist or Dionysus, but that was after the syphilis crossed the blood-brain barrier.
%
Do not call up that which you cannot put on hold.
%
Yesterday a postal worker asked me what type of handgun he should buy.
%
Okay, something here's really fucked up.
%
Tyger, tyger, burning bright, in the forests of the night; what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?
%
I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.  Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.
%
It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.  It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning.  It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
%
Que sera, serotonin.
%
You wouldn't be so smug if you really knew what was going on.
%
Death without pain is like a sundae without sprinkles.
%
She's a virgin child with deviant dreams.
%
You don't have a disease.  You just live in New Jersey.
%
Jake liked his women how he liked his kiwi fruit; firm yet yielding, sweet yet tart, and covered with short fuzzy brown hair.
%
It isn't the fall that kills the child, it is the splattering of the brain against the inside of the skull.
%
The next person to pass us will die within a fortnight.
%
Hey, that's just the way the cookie gets completely stomped on and obliterated.
%
"But we'll never survive!"  "Nonsense.  You're only saying that because no one ever has."
%
Get up Dog Boy!  Show them where you come from, show them where you're going!
%
Could I interest you in a pet rock?
%
Are we there yet, Papa Smurf?
%
If at first you don't succeed, try following the instructions.
%
Et sic patet quod totus mundus est sicut unum speculum plenum luminibus praesentantibus divinam sapientam, et sicut carbo effundens lucem.
%
His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans - and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink."
%
I used to be self-actualized, now I'm just confused.
%
I dance around and sing a song and know that I can do no wrong.
%
Never attempt to distract a masturbating gorilla.
%
Never sign a contract including any of the phrases "sort of", kind of", or "and stuff".
%
Do it for the Widow's Son.
%
I am sooo DE-VO!  How long can this go on?!
%
Time Warner: bringing you the finest in cradle-to-grave thought management.
%
She has a really opulent body; just ripe for dissecting.
%
The president's weird.  He's got a burgundy beard.  It's a ripoff.
%
He who marries the Spirit of his Age, soon becomes a widower.
%
Tiger Tim the Tightrope Walker, tried to steal the drag queen's daughter.
%
Which caused little rhythmic darts of red to pulsate gently in the morning sun.
%
A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles.  Structurally, there's no discernible difference.  Life and death are unquantifiable abstracts.  Why should I be concerned?
%
Horniness is a quintessential example of hope.
%
Freedom is just a hallucination created by a pathological lack of paranoia.
%
Sir, you have tasted two whole worms; you have hissed all my mystery lectures and been caught fighting a liar in the quad; you will leave Oxford by the next town drain.
%
Well, Katrina likes it.
%
Boxing is a lot like ballet, except that they don't dance, there isn't any music, and they hit each other.
%
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds.  The pessimist is afraid that it is.
%
The concept is simply staggering.  Pointless, but staggering.
%
Why ask why, just shut up and die
%
For some reason the concept of sacrificing accuracy to increase efficiency seems inherently wrong.
%
Beyond good and evil lies North Dakota.
%
Hail / Praise / Ia / Fuck / Grep / Eat     Eris / "Bob" / Cthulhu / The Conspiracy / Kibo / Spam
%
Bad things come to those who wait too.
%
Is it just me or are all uncles either really cool, or child molestors?
%
Homosexuality is the best all around cover an agent ever had.
%
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
%
You DON'T want me to translate that.  No, really you don't.
%
They are a puckish band of rapscallions
%
He doesn't like me.  HE NEVER LIKED ME!
%
Acting without thinking can be awfully entertaining.
%
A little madness now and then is relished by the wisest men.
%
Our cause is a secret within a secret, a secret that only another secret can explain; it is a secret about a secret veiled by a secret.
%
Do you ever feel like putting your fist through a window just so you can feel something?
%
If it weren't for lawyers, I think we could have invented a universal symbolic representation of reality.
%
When you have had all that you can take, put the rest back.
%
I think you had better start lining your hat with tinfoil.
%
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley; LSD and BSD Unix.  We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
%
I don't believe in reason, objective reality or collective farming.
%
Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever?  I could then conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife.
%
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
%
Portions of the preceding were recorded.  As for the rest of it, I'm very much afraid it was all in your mind.
%
Do not taunt the Happy Fun Ball.  If Happy Fun Ball starts to smoke, run away and take cover.
%
A much-discussed alternative to homogeneous big-bang nucleosynthesis has been the first-order quark-hadron phase-transition-inspired inhomogeneous model.
%
These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives; for all the scents of green things growing, each breath is but an exhalation of the grave.  Bodies jerk like puppet corpses, and hell walks laughing --
%
I am always right.  Except when I'm left, or bluffing.
%
Okay, everybody in this room who's telekinetic, raise my hand.
%
Sha-ZAM sirrah!
%
The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
%
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
%
We should build an Intel processor out of penguins.
%
SPOON!
%
You lookin' at me?  You lookin' at me?!
%
Today is the first day of the rest of my death.  Tommorrow will be the next day of it.  Bwwaahh.
%
So close, no matter how far... couldn't be much more from the heart.  Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters.
%
Life is ours.  We live it our way.
%
Trust I seek and I find in you, everyday to eat something new.
%
Anybody got any itch cream?
%
RAAAIIID!!!???
%
Hey, you've got a third eye!  Uh, never mind... it's just a spot of dirt in the middle of your forehead.
%
Greetings, lowly citizen.  I seek your PEZ!
%
No, just the nipple-cones, officer, just the nipple-cones.
%
TWISTER FOR MONEY, TWISTER FOR BLOOD!
%
Okay, you guys having sex here, let's see some skill rolls!
%
Hold!  Cease thy stultiloquy!  Oh, not daggers or swords or all the spears in the world stung me greater than this rubbish you throw to the heavens!"
%
Hey, wow man, they've got codes for mazurkas!
%
I'm sorry, I become inaudible when I am shy.
%
Oh dear, I've gone and inflated my ego.
%
Hey, go buy a plane ticket to another state of mind, okay?
%
Futility is futile.
%
You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, while it does big things badly, does small things badly too.
%
I'm not dead.
%
If I let you go, do you think you could fly?
%
Frogs are my favorite vegetable.
%
It's always easier to just fall than to try to climb.
%
My favorite food is squirrel, but I want to fight with glory.
%
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to flallop about wildly.
%
Make it so!
%
This is where I get off...
%
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
%
Vee off ze KGB are not ez slow ez you tink, comrade.
%
Until, one by one... HE DESTROYED THEM ALL!
%
Was it worth it?
%
I am living in denial.
%
I just like to say quark, quark, quark, quark, quark, quark...
%
Death is just the ultimate expression of radical solipsism.
%
If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck it is probably just a tool of the conspiracy.
%
There's nothing wrong with you a shotgun blast to the face couldn't fix.
%
I'd give it a 10, but you can't do the batoosie to it.
%
You see, without that little doohicky, the universe stops.
%
Bela Lugosi's dead.  How about you?
%
Never go up against a Sicilian when death's on the line!
%
In-con-CEIvable!
%
You laugh just like the angles dancing on the head of the pin jabbed into my mind's eye.
%
Humans sure have a strange way of dying.
%
The Rule of Fives states that all things happen in fives, or are divisible by or are multiples of five, or are somehow directly or indirectly related to five.  The Rule of Fives is never wrong.
%
Welcome to the Federal Bureau for Reducing Bureaucracy!
%
Did you know that lithium builds up in the fatty tissues of the body?
%
For such a cute kid, you sure turned out ugly.
%
That which is not forbidden is mandatory.
%
I never remember a face, but I always forget a name.
%
I'm fond of children -- except for boys.
%
Prudence is a rich, ugly old maid courted by incapacity.
%
Drive your cart and plow over the bones of the dead.
%
If you want to be a Raelet, you gotta let Ray.
%
History: an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, brought about by rulers mostly knaves and soldiers mostly fools.
%
It is not enough merely to succeed: one's friends must also fail.
%
Love as it exists in society is merely the mingling of two fantasies and the contact of two skins.
%
Okay, everyone out of the gene pool!
%
Be my brother or I'll kill you.
%
To be happy living in this world, there are sides of the soul one must entirely paralyze.
%
The rarity of genuine feeling in human society sometimes makes me stop in the street to watch a dog gnawing a bone.
%
The Californians are an idle thriftless people, and can make nothing for themselves.
%
Another damned, thick, square book!  Always scribble, scribble, scribble!  Eh, Mr. Gibbon?
%
Whenever I hear the word "culture", it makes me want to reach for my revolver.
%
You'll be the first ones up against the wall when the revolution comes.
%
Fnord is the second spoon in your Whizz Fizz.
%
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
%
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum: I think I think, therefore I think I am.
%
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
%
The denizens of this sizzling-hot, freezing-cold, rocky, rotten island were monsters -- huge or miserably stunted, fat or scraggly, dry or slimy, with scales, warts, pimples, tentacles, talons, fangs, extra arms, eyes, legs, tails, and even heads, all in ridiculous arrangements.
%
It's not for you or I, Carruthers; nor for the regiment: it's for the Empire.
%
You grok?
%
It would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids and their fucking dog!
%
The Heirophant is Disguised and Confused.
%
Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers.
%
Whatever happened to Rodney Allen Rippy?  Check your Jumbo Jack.
%
All biography is ultimately fiction.
%
JUMPIN' JESUS ON A POGO STICK!
%
Sleep is nature's way of telling you to go to bed.
%
Del Mar: Where poverty is neither a philosophy nor a way of life.
%
It is not down on any map; true places never are.
%
It would be absurd to leave the Suez Canal and the Panama Canal to the unfettered control of the populations through whose territory they pass.
%
I've given up the search for reality; now I'm just looking for a good fantasy.
%
What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?
%
Impressive; but how big's your dick?
%
Driving makes you stupid; the more you drive, the stupider you get.
%
Liberals don't believe they deserve anything they own; conservatives think they're entitled to everything they've stolen.
%
When we talk about property, state, masters, government, laws, courts, and police, we say only that we don't want any of them.
%
Pay careful attention to the Tao-Jones Average.
%
This is precisely the sort of thing that people who like this sort of thing will like.
%
I intend to live forever or die trying.
%
Despite the high cost of living, it remains a popular item.
%
Initiative comes to those who wait.
%
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.  Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
%
If you can't see the fnords, they can't eat you.
%
I'm not dead yet!
%
Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth.
%
The Earth Will Shake.
%
Nemo me impune lacessit.
%
Eureka!
%
Help!  There's a cow in my esophagus!
%
Dying can be hazardous to your health.
%
Because it's there.
%
Deceive boys with toys, but men with oaths.
%
A good fight is like a stick of broccoli, but different.
%
Pass the pickles.
%
No matter where you are, there you go?  Wait a second.
%
Percepi et esse.
%
Computers, like cats, can operate crossdimensionally; the trick is in getting them to do what you want.
%
Foolish little minds are consistent among hobgoblins.
%
The moral of the story is: Kill the parents kill the children.
%
Thou shalt not misspell thine neurotransmitters.
%
Remember, we have to get the baby out of the oven today.
%
That be some righteous dub mon.
%
We find the defendant innocent by reason of being generally clueless.
%
Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it.
%
You, you, you shouldn't, you shouldn't traumatize women with sexual intercourse.  I should know, I'm a medical doctor, I own a mansion and a yacht.
%
I never met a repo man who didn't do speed.
%
People who emit Cherenkov radiation make me nervous.
%
Jesus loves me, but he can't stand you.
%
Jesus loves you.  Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
%
Win a live rat for your mother-in-law!
%
We intend to destroy all dogmatic verbal systems.
%
He buy me a soda... he buy me a soda and tried to molest me in the parking lot, yep yep yep yep
%
One should not act and speak as if one were asleep.
%
You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core... I like that in a person.
%
I'll get all of you someday.  I'll wipe out your whole family.
%
WARNING: The vomitous nature of certain sequences may be emotionally hazardous for the squeamish or those with weak hearts.
%
Hard drugs made me a better person.
%
I'm just a revved up youth on a thrill-kill rampage.
%
Half the trick is knowing the CyberPunks from the CyberPinks.
%
My question is simply this: Are you menstruating?
%
JOEY!  JOEY!  JOEY THE LEMUR!
%
My powers are beyond your understanding!
%
I'll heal your wounds, I'll set you free; I'm Jesus Christ on ecstasy
%
Anything I do is purely coincidental.
%
A few thousand rads never hurt anybody.
%
Humans: Bet you can't eat just one.
%
Sarcasm helps you avoid telling people what you really think of them.
%
Thank you for shopping at S-Mart.
%
I am the Electric Messiah; an AC/DC god.
%
The more people I meet, the more I love my battleaxe.
%
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if you don't take it out and use it it's going to rust.
%
Power corrupts.  Absolute power is kinda neat.
%
This statement is false.
%
Few things work up an appetite like good, wholesome, sadomasochistic sex.
%
If your face were a tree, it would be different.
%
Those who play with the Stone get screwed by the Stone.
%
I'm a solipsist, I don't see why other people aren't that way...
%
Hail Eris!
Hail Bob!
Hail Stones!
All Hail Discordia.
%
Xyzzy doesn't mean shit.
%
You know what I always say...
%
Life is like pudding; soft and squishy...
%
Change your mind, it's starting to smell.
%
My biology I know.  You I worry about.
%
You cannot lie to me.  I know everything.
%
Your weakness is money in their bank.
%
Of course it belongs to me, I'm a communist.
%
The mutant alien skull man has a smile for all smiles, an answer for all answers.
%
I wouldn't know how to act if I weren't in trouble.
%
During the Asparagus Season, members are requested not to relieve themselves in the hatstand.
%
Green potatoes and green potato chips are to be distinguished from brown potato chips, which are another matter entirely.
%
When life gives you a lemon, say 'Lemons?  I like lemons.  What else have you got?'
%
Most people do not know how to behave in a massacre.
%
The three greatest men who ever lived were Eleanor Roosevelt.
%
It is hard for me to find the right thing to say when I find myself in a room full of cockroaches.
%
Just as Schopenhauer predicted, absolutely nothing is happening.
%
Often I think I am a special agent of Billy Graham.
%
Cannibalism is a small price to pay for popularity.
%
Reverend!
%
I salivate at the sight of mittens.
%
My father was a good woman.
%
Guns don't kill people.  Bullets do.
%
Occam was never the target of a conspiracy.
%
Being good at being stupid doesn't count.
%
From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, we are all tools of the Conspiracy...
%
La-la la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la!
%
Um.  No.  It's not mayonnaise.
%
Ooooooeee!  They sure serve up them four-year-olds good, don't they?
%
DON'T call me dude, dude.
%
Bugger off.
%
I am GOD here!
%
D'oh!
%
I like you, Sali.  That's why I'm going to kill you last.
%
Make your own mistakes, not somebody else's.
%
Overall, there was a smell of fried onions.
%
Some girls are bigger than others.
%
I hate prejudiced people.
%
Bite me, it's fun.
%
You know what, Stuart?  I like you.  You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park.
%
I am Zorkon, this is my brother Zenon, and this is my other brother Zenon.
%
Ban Censorship!
%
It's called EVIL, kid.
%
I'm not as think as you stoned I am.
%
Everybody looks brave holding a machine gun.
%
I don't have a drinking problem... I drink, I get drunk, I fall down.  No problem.
%
To err is human; to forgive is not company policy.
%
Censorship?  We don't have any censorship here.  If we did, I couldn't say ---- or ------ ------!
%
Yield to oncoming traffic.
%
If you feel like you've got to lead, at least get out of my way.
%
Your mother wears combat boots.  But I like combat boots.
%
I started to correct my mistakes, but realized what I was doing in time.
%
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
%
Do not remove tag under penalty of law.
%
The problem with troubleshooting is that real trouble shoots back.
%
Quantum Express: When you absolutely, positively, don't know where it's going or when it needs to be there.
%
If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning.
%
Anything not nailed down is mine.  Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.
%
Welcome to Borger King.  Your way will be assimilated.
%
That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.
%
FIVE TONS OF FLAX!
%
When in doubt, fuck it.  When not in doubt... get in doubt!
%
First I must sprinkle you with fairy dust...
%
We're not doing scientific research, we're killing people.
%
Nil illegitimo carborundum.
%
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as long as a week sometimes to make it up.
%
Momomoto, Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose.
%
Fnord.
Fnord?
Fnord!
%
It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.
%
I may have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them.
%
It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs.
%
For further information, consult your pineal gland.
%
Lions: 5, Christians: 0.
%
Today is an excellent day to become a missing person.
%
Heute die Welt, Morgens das Sonnensystem!
%
I hear music!
%
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
%
Dating processes are dependent on the analysis of rocks.
%
Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat.
%
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
%
Semper Non Sequitur!
%
This statement is false.
%
Sinister Dexter has a broken spirometer.
%
Mankind has been on a bad trip for a long time now.
%
Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life.
%
Bullshit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful.
%
Convictions cause convicts.
%
Everything is true -- everything is permissible!
%
Nothing is true.  Everything is permitted.
%
Believe nothing, dare all.
%
Sometimes I become spell-bound in the middle of Wal-Mart.
%
My inner child can beat up your inner child.
%
Hellllllooooooooo, Nurse!
%
On Earth there is no reckoning.
%
Study demonology with an enemy this Sunday.
%
Ewige Blumenkraft!
%
Fliegende Kinderscheisse!
%
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
%
Yo!  Ewige Blumenkraft, Dude!
%
G'day!  Ewige Blumenkraft, Mate!
%
If vegetarians eat vegetables, I guess that makes me a humanitarian.
%
No matter how good it is, there's always better.
%
No matter how bad it is, there's always worse.
%
Stop searching forever.  Happiness is just next to you.
Stop searching forever.  Happiness is unattainable.
%
_The Big U_ and _Snow Crash_ both center around cerebral bicamerality... but is that because Neal Stephenson has a Jaynes addiction?
%
It is better to have loved and lost than to have just lost.
%
Strike any user to continue.
%
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
%
CChheecckk  yyoouurr  dduupplleexx  sswwiittcchh..
%
LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.
%
Earn cash in your spare time, blackmail your friends.
%
reality.sys corrupted.  universe halted.  reboot (y/n)?
%
Question reality.
%
The Jetdillo Project: 2000 pounds of steel, 20,000 pounds of thrust.  One pair of very dark shades.  The world's first fully cybernetic, SSTO-capable armadillo.  Coming soon from Armadillo Labs.  The Dasypian Future begins tommorrow...
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Weather's here, wish you were beautiful.
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A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
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Vegetables are murder.
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I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
%
A conservative is a liberal who has been mugged.
%
A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.
%
Do you ever get feelings of Deja Vu?
%
Do you ever get feelings of Deja Vu?
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Der Gedanke an den Selbstmord ist ein starkes Trostmittel.
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It's not that they die, but that they die like sheep.
%
The first step to a person's heart is to confuse the fuck out of 'em.
%
"Here's what I know," said the physicist.  "If we lived in a microscopic world, trucks would crash into walls, fly apart and then reassemble perfectly on the other side of the wall.  This has been proven."
%
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
%
Do what keepeth thou from wilting shall be the law of the Hole.
%
Sarcasm is a sign of genius.
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Ack!!
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A small mind is a tidy mind.
%
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
%
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
%
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
%
Due to circumstances within our control, tomorrow will be cancelled.
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Say what you mean and say it mean...
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The only good Smurf is a dead Smurf.
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You live and learn.  Or you don't live long.
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Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
%
We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
%
We don't hate vegetarians, we just think they're funny.
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If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.
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A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.
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If you only want to go 500 miles, can you begin with a halfstep?
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Don't believe in the Uzi, it just went off in my hand.
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Roses are red, she said, and violents are blue
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Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
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If opportunity knocks, go to bed with your pants on.
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Dare to be stupid.
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I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle.
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Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
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He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.
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Being generous is inborn; being altruistic is a learned perversity.
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If you do that you have a chance of dying
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Don't look now, but there is a multi-legged creature on your shoulder
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Never give an inch!
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People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
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Some men are discovered; others are found out.
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He who hates vices hates mankind.
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Mind your own business, Spock.  I'm sick of your half-breed interference.
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They just buzzed and buzzed.....buzzed.
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If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
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Fish heads, fish heads, roly-poly fish heads
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Death is an illusion.  Life is a hallucination.  Taxes are objective reality.
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The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
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Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.
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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
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For him to get a clue would require heroic implant surgery.
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Of course it's the murder weapon.  Who would frame someone with a fake?
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You can't be late until you show up.
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Men are more sentimental than women.  It blurs their thinking.
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Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.
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Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
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There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
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Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
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There ain't no justice
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Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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I wish you humans would leave me alone.
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The door is the key.
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Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing.
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Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
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All in all it's just another brick in the wall...
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In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
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Change your thoughts and you change your world.
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Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
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Real punk rockers don't smile.
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Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
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Question Authority -- and the authorities will question you.
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A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
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Maximum capacity eight persons.
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You have been selected for a secret mission.
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You took my breath away and now I want it back.
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Always store beer in a dark place.
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Why is the cheese moving?
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Ave, Imperator, morituri te salutant...
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My, don't we all look _smashing_ in red.
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There is no time like the pleasant.
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And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
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Above all things, revere yourself.
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Please go away.
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Dead puppies aren't much fun.
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That must be wonderful!  I don't understand it at all.
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Actors will happen in the best-regulated families.
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'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.
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Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.
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Excuse me, what did you say?  Oh, I thought you said "Whop".
%
The hipbone's connected to the... jawbone?
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He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
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Let's all get together and throw flingbobs
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Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
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Small change can often be found under seat cushions.
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Ad astra per aspera.
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Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate.
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Megaton Man on patrol!
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A motion to adjourn is always in order.
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What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
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I came, I saw, she conquered.
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If Goddess had intended humans to smoke, She would have set them on fire.
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You're a jerk, Dent.  A complete kneebiter.
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A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
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Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
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Profanity: the single language in which all programmers are expert.
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Greatness is a transitory experience.  It is never consistent.
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Express yourself through supreme bovinity.
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Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home!
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I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
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Laugh, and the world ignores you.  Crying doesn't help either.
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Crazee Eddeee, his prices are INSANE!!!
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If this is paradise, I wish I had a lawnmower.
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Use only as directed.
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See side panel for exciting recipe ideas.
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Use no hooks.
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This side up.
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I haven't lost my mind; it's back up on tape somewhere.
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Frumble!  Frumble!  Istharcity!
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Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac.
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Love is a many-splintered thing
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Oh, squirt.
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Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner...
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Everything you know is wrong!
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Be excellent to each other
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Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
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Bored people are boring people.
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Animals can be driven crazy by placing too many in too small a pen.
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Uh, Josh, you have to do a QC before you say "go away" for it to be a banishing.
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Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.
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I will never lie to you.
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What's so funny 'bout Peace, Love, and Understanding?
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It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
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And the first one said to the second one there, "I hope you're having fun."
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Second star on the right, and onward 'till dawn
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The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
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We're gonna go to the mall and window shoplift...
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Today is a good day to bribe a high ranking public official.
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It's all in the mind, ya know.
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Mmm.  I forgot about that.
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A good memory does not equal pale ink.
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Fine, DON'T have a nice day, see if I care.
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All you can eat, shrimp
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I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
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Wow, man... like, totally Hidden Valley Ranch, dude.
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A king's castle is his home.
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Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
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The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not get caught.
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The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions.
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Sure I believe in peace.  Peace through superior firepower.
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Dont'cha hate it when that happens?
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You now have Asian Flu.
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Antibiotics, she said.
%
Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
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Rub her feet.
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But I don't like Spam!!!
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Mow Mow Boppa Mow Mow Mow
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The plural of spouse is spice.
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"I guess the joke's on me," she said
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I prefer to think of them as the Ten Suggestions.
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I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
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Don't panic.
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Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
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I believe that everyone is entitled to my opinion.
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A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
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All men are created unequal.
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Beware of a tall dark man with a spoon up his nose.
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Rose tint my world and keep me safe from the trouble and pain...
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Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.
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Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
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It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
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Confidence: a feeling peculiar to the stage just before full comprehension of the problem.
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And so it begins that some things last forever...
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Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
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There are trivial truths and there are great truths.  The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.  The opposite of a great truth is also true.
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Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
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No girdle ever cured a pregnancy.
%
How untasteful can you get?
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I'm sorry, did I assassinate your penguin?
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Dying is easy.  Comedy is hard.
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That's what she said.
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Sturgeon's Law:  Ninety percent of everything is crud.
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All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.
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To criticize the incompetent is easy; to criticize the competent is difficult.
%
As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
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No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
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I like winter.  I like the cold.  I like the sound of flowers dying.
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In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it.
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Everything in excess!  To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites.
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Those students who have become one with the universe will be allowed to go on and become two with the universe.
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The universe is laughing behind your back.
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Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
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Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
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A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
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One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
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It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
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We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure.
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Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
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Eek!
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Was uns nicht umbringt macht mir bis 1500 naechsten nachmittag schlafen.
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All that glitters has a high refractive index.
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Moderation is for monks.
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The meek will inherit the earth; the rest of us will go to the stars.
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Anybody who cannot comprehend mathematics is not fully human.  At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wash, cook food, and not make messes on the floor.
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The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease.  The happy man confines himself within ancient limits.
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Wonders never cease, as long as you never cease to wonder.
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Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
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Art is dangerous
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The important thing is not to stop questioning.
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What happens when you cut back the jungle?  It recedes.
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Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.
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We come in peace... shoot to kill...
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I've seen the future and I leave it all behind
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The early worm gets the bird.
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Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?
%
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
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Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!
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An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
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Men still remember the first kiss after women have forgotten the last.
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Your ignorance cramps my conversation.
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Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
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Everybody ought to have a friend.
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If you hit a man over the head with a fish, he'll have a headache for a day.  But if you teach a man to hit himself over the head with a fish, he'll have headaches for the rest of his life.
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Ignorance can be cured -- but stupid is forever.
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The future ain't what it used to be.
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Fidelity: A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
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Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear.
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The following statement is not true:
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Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
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Flee at once, all is discovered.
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Continental Life.  Why do you ask?
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Early to bed and early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes.
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We all know that no one understands anything that isn't funny.
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No matter where you go... there you are.
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Honi soit la vache qui rit.
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He who laughs, lasts.
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A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
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Money is truthful.  When a man speaks of honor, make him pay cash.
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I know your secret.
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Cut the conversation, just open your mouth
%
How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
%
Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
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Chill out... everything's under control...
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Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
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Brain fried -- Core dumped
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Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
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Eggs on top, canned goods on the bottom...
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Everybody is equal here.  It's just some people are more equal than others.
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The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.
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You can never trust a woman; she may be true to you.
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Quack!
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Blessed are they that run around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.
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Thaaaaaat's niiiiiice.
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A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
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Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
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I'm not sure of what I should do -- when every thought I'm thinking of is you
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The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility.
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What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
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Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
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It's later than you think.
%
If it's comprehensible, it's obsolete.
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Darwin's Law of Carcinogens: Cancer cures smoking.
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It's an IBM, it's got an excuse.
%
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
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Well, it looks like blind, screaming hedonism won out.
%
The world is coming to an end.  Please log off.
%
Flixtipix make flossing the cat fun!
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People humiliating a salami!
%
You're not really drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on.
%
Drive defensively; buy a tank.
%
The best teddy bears are the live kind.
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Everybody needs a little love sometime; stop mudding and fall in love!
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Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
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Spacetime isn't curved, it's positively bent.
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Never try to outstubborn a cat.
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As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
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Everybody ought to have a maid.
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Life is a game of bridge -- and you've just been finessed.
%
I admit that I am powerless over fish innards.
%
Grumplicious Grumplicious Grumplicious!!!
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Attention all planets of the Solar Federation: We have assumed control.
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We don't morally censure you.  We just want the money.
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Don't have a cow, man.
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SLACK: Get it while you can.
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My oh my!  Life sure is easier with my new Salad Shooter (R) !
%
I love the absolution of all jocks and preps -- Skate or die!!!
%
I'm the one from the registry office.
%
Ah-ah, Mr. Wiiilson.  Ah-ah, Mr. Heath.
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Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hastur Hast... urrrrrrrk!
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Mars needs women.
%
Ivana used to be Donald's trompe l'oeil.
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I'll be back.
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Specialization is for insects.
%
And the less I seek my source for some definitive, closer I am to fine...
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Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors -- and miss.
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Never appeal to a man's "better nature".  He may not have one.
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He's a trash-culture king on a four-color throne
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There's someone in my head, but it's not me
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This is my steakhouse.
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Watch me as I swing my hips... around.
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Tony Orlando and DAWN!
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We asked for Mojo Nixon, they said "He don't work here"
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Don't believe them, don't believe them, question everything you're told
%
My friend Goo has a real time too; she always knows just what to do
%
Gridlock to the max, Jack
%
The classical Greeks were not influenced by the classical Greeks.
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So... so you think you can tell... heaven from hell
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No you don't understand, see you don't understand...
%
He sells contact lenses for a cubist world
%
We're just two lost souls swimmin' in a fishbowl, year after year
%
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same...
%
What poor gods we do make.
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Pig's in zen...
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There were Arabs with knives at the foot of the bed.
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I live like this 'cuz I like it; I've seen too much to pretend
%
I know the road, I know where it goes; that's why I'm going so slow...
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I just walk right through the door...
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The backbone of this country is the independent trucks.
%
Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right, they just seem a little weird
%
What a useless scroll, all it says is "Hastur Hastur Hastur" over and over again.
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My moral standing is lying down.
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I don't want anybody else; when I think about you I touch myself
%
I hate myself to sleep at night
%
But she looked good in ribbons...
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Don't open your eyes, you won't like what you see; the devils of truth steal the souls of the free... don't open your eyes, take it from me -- I have found you can find happiness in slavery...
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Don't eat yellow snow.
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I wanna reach up and touch the sky; I wanna touch the sun but I don't wanna fry
%
Man steps in with a terminal grin... blue skies turn to grey...
%
Here he comes -- here comes Speed Racer -- he's a demon on wheels
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Go Speed Racer  Go Speed Racer  Go Speed Racer Go
%
He's a tragic figure in a paisley shirt
%
You've caught an even atom tan
%
Support bacteria.  They're the only culture some people have.
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Quite content to sit on this fence... quite content, now a little bit older...
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I... have become... comfortably numb
%
Happiness is mandatory.  Are you happy?
%
The reason people get lost in thought is because it is, to many, rather unfamiliar territory.
%
Better to have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
%
I am feeling so grey today...
%
If you're so special, why aren't you dead?
%
Don't knock masturbation; isn't sex with someone you love the best kind?
%
Take care of the cojones and the frijoles will take care of themselves.
%
Look out, you're gonna craaash.
%
You're about as subtle as a tank.
%
I'm looking for a cynical girl
%
Congregation, please be seated
%
The wind is loud and sometimes pungent.
%
The wind is plowed and sometimes sturgeon.
%
Vacuum packed for freshness.
%
Drive carefully.  90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.
%
Oh, no, not again.
%
Fuzzy Wuzzy wuz a bear.
%
Never eat more than you can lift.
%
Fait accompli...
%
People are blinky
%
Did you know that if you were a kangaroo, you couldn't be a mailman?
%
Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy ANYTHING.
%
You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!
%
This town needs an enema.
%
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
%
Chaste makes waste.
%
Virginity can be cured.
%
He can't be a man cause he does not smoke the same cigarettes as me
%
Wake up, the whole world's gone...
%
Deity... he's come for me
%
My favorite weapon is the look in your eyes
%
Delicious and nutritious, tastes like chicken!
%
And where you are ain't no good unless you can get away from it
%
If she doesn't scare ya, no evil thing will...
%
I... I believe in love
%
A thousand lips, a thousand tongues, a thousand throats, a thousand lungs... a thousand ways to make it true, I want to do terrible things to you
%
Therefore, knowing that you are merely human, do not assign yourself merit.
%
I've come a long way since I've believed in anything
%
Ding a ding-dang my dang-a-long ling-long
%
Stop!  I'm a girl whose fingernails are made of a mother's pearl...
%
It would seem that no matter how you slice it, it still comes up Velveeta.
%
Don't give up, push a pawn
%
No man is an island, but then no man is a potato salad, either.
%
What's blue and square?  An orange in disguise...
%
Get a hat!  Get a hairy hat!
%
Oh for the wings of any bird, other than a battery hen...
%
Kryten, unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit!
%
Cyberspace is where you are when you're on the telephone.
%
How do you make a cat go moo?  Ask it "Does a dog have the Buddha-nature?"
%
"Grey! Did I hear you say grey?"  "Light black.  From pole to pole."
%
"How do you get all those coins?"  "IN PAIRS."
%
Truly, the road to enlightenment is like unto half a mile of broken glass.
%
When you're a god, you don't have to have reasons.
%
I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs -- like customs officials.
%
... is exhibited in the radical endosemic character of the sign as such.
%
If you are sitting, just sit.  If you are walking, just walk.  Above all, don't wobble.
%
Reality is the temporary resultant of the struggle between rival gangs of programmers.
%
Walk in shadow, walk in dread, Loosefish walk as like one dead
%
The more it stays the same, the less it changes.
%
If I was a woman I'd stay at home all day and play with my breasts.
%
Last time I was stoned, I tried to eat an airport.
%
You can't lick the system, but you can certainly give it a damn good fondling...
%
Nid yw Cymru ar werth!
%
"What did Medieval people do before television?"  "Had tea, I suppose."
%
Of course you realize this means war.
%
Don't worry.  Baldrick has a cunning plan.
%
Smile, and the whole world thinks you're laughing at them.
%
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a grape?  |grape| * |elephant| * sin(theta).
%
On a scale of 1 to 4, what are your feelings about the colour green?
%
Bonzo the Demon Dog from Hell with Handlebars for Ears.
%
The universe is like a grapefruit -- it's yellow and dimply, and some people have half of one for breakfast.
%
Je suis un chou-fleur sous un echequier enorme.
%
To have too much and not enough is like a boat person with sideburns.
%
As long as the music's loud enough, we won't hear the world falling apart.
%
Live in privacy; die in public.
%